Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Nobody in IT ever smiles this much

Girl: we need to talk!

Me: Ok...

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

I fucking love people like this.

Yesterday I met a 'friend' who I hadn't seen in a very long time. Just a guy I used to know tbh but let's call him Friend anyway. After a while in the conversation this happened...

*Friend doesn't know I have a degree in CS*

Friend: "WHAT?? YOU LIKE PROGRAMMING? NO WAY! ME TOO!"

Me: "THAT'S AWESOME! You've been programming for long?"

Friend: "A little over a year now. I know almost all languages now. C++, C#, Python, Java and HTML. Still a couple left to go. Once you're on the level I achieved programming becomes really, really easy. How long have you been programming?"

Me: "Almost a decade now"

Friend: "Damn dude you must know all languages by now I suppose?"

Me: "I've been mainly doing C++ so not really haha"

Friend: "I can always help when you're struggling with one language. C++ is pretty easy tbh. You should learn others too btw. HTML for example is pretty important because you can program websites with it"

Me: "Yeah... Thanks... So... What project are you working on right now?"

Friend: "I'm making a register page for my very own forum. The only problem I have is that PHP won't save the login details"

Me: "Hahaha I know the feeling. MySQL?"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "What do you use to save your data"

Friend: "Just a txt file. It's easier that way."

Me: "Hahaha true. Who needs safety right? *smiles*"

Friend: "Actually it's 100% safe because only I can see the txt file so other people can not hack other users."

Me: "Yes! That's great! Cya!"

Friend: "I'm working on a mmorpg too btw! I can learn you to make games if you want. Just call me. Here's my number"

Me: "Alright... Thanks... Bye!"

*Arrives at home*

*Deletes number*

I do not make this up.

I can understand that someone who isn't in the CS industry doesn't take it too seriously and gets hyped when their "Hello World" program works.
I'm fine with that.

The thing that really triggers me is big headed ass holes like this. Like how much more like a absolute dickhead could you possibly more act? Fucking hate people like that.

Even error smiles at me now😑, days aren't far when they start LOL at me!

Back in 2008, I had a colleague who often smiles and giggles while looking at the screen.

Sounds normal yeah? Except there's nothing on the screen but Eclipse, a Java IDE.

Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".

You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.

Why should we hire you?

F*ck you, pay me, that's why.

You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.

I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.

Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."

But I was already out the door.

You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?

Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.

What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?

You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.

No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"

No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.

Think mark, think!

This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.

And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.

Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.

Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?

You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.

Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.

Would you like fries with that?

Senior Dev: "-bleep- I hate Javascript. It is such a pain to have to debug in Chrome"
Mgr: "Why are you 'having to' debug in Chrome?"
-in an almost 'you didn't know?' condensing tone -
Senior Dev: "Because you can't debug Javascript in Visual Studio."
Me: "Umm...pretty sure you can."
Senior Dev: "No, its impossible. I have to make a simple change in Visual Studio, save it, deploy all the files to the server, restart IIS, open up Chrome and use it's developer tools to find bugs. -bleep- Javascript sucks sooo bad."
-I do a quick search on stackoverflow-
Me: "No, I'm looking right at it on stackoverflow. You can debug Javascript in visual studio just like anything else."
- Mgr looks over and smiles, not trying to laugh -
Senior Dev: "Hey, did you watch that scene in Stranger Things...man thats a good show ..."
- other devs jump in to comment about the show, completely dismissing the VS/Javascript conversation -

Not sure WTF just happened.

So this key smiles when you open a door and makes a sad face when you try to open a room you don't have acces to.

"Hey mate, how are you doing?"
*deep sigh* "It's tough, but I'm managing"

I don't think it's a coincidence that the word managing is often used as a synonym for "Technically alive, but not in a state where I can progress personally, or add any value to my environment".

Now imagine packaging that desolate self-perpetuating feeling of apathy into a farce, propped up with practiced smiles and meet-speak, and calling that daily routine a "career".

Interviewer : why should we hire you?

Me :*smiles because I have been preparing for this my whole fucking life*

@dfox, @trogus: Just came back and WHOA! Awesome avatars! I want to make my avatar like me, but there's no long wavy hair. Or heels. Or skirts/dresses. You get the idea. Can we get a couple more feminine options for the females?

*smiles intensively and flutters eyes*😇

Those deeply unhappy smiles...

I just realized why you should never help people with tech problems, at least for free.

I went to grab the rent from a family that lives in my grandma's childhood home.

The father asks me if I could have a look at their new internet connection because it doesn't open any pages on the browser.

After fiddling for about an hour and a half trying every trick in the book and gently explaining to his children how everything is supposed to work (kids need to learn how these machines work imho) I ask him to give me his service provider number and confirmed that indeed the problem was that the connection wasn't activated on their side. Installed chrome, set the date,/time because it wouldn't sync and told them twice how to get past the certificate problem should some page not open. Smiles all around, all is well.

Fast forward next to next morning and I get a call from the guy telling me his internet doesn't work because he pulled out the power cable for whatever reason. I instruct him to restart the router just to be sure and then ask him what's on the screen. Turns out it was the certificate problem. I try as best I can explaining and reminding him how to get past but he doesn't understand. He goes on asking me to "come over for 5minutes and have a look at it". I politely tell him that just the trip is half an hour and that I am currently in the middle of exams to finish university. His tone becomes increasingly passive aggressive as I tell him again that it's isn't possible for me to make the time for a one hour round trip at the moment. Hangs up with a grim "right right whatever you say."

First time I was genuinely angry at a person being both so ungrateful after helping them and not even trying to fix something after I took the time to explain it to them.

Useless feature I've built?

Too many to mention. Here's #25.

Modified an existing "Are you sure..?" dialog pop-up (Yes/No buttons) to Yes/No/Cancel. Why? Managers claimed users were "accidentally" clicking 'Yes' when they should have clicked 'No' and causing all kinds of chaos, costing the company money, etc. Managers believed giving the user two chances instead of one would make it easier to avoid the problems they caused.

The meeting:
Me: "Users can click 'No', hit the 'Esc' key, or click the close 'X' button on the window, how will an extra button make it more foolproof?"
Mgr1: "It just will. Andy accidentally deleted inventory and when I asked him if an extra button would have saved them a days worth of re-counts, he said yes."
Mgr2: "Barb accidentally credited a customer $1,500. She promised me she clicked 'No', but the system credited the account anyway. An extra button would have saved us thousands of dollars!"
Me: "Um...these sound like training issues, not an extra button issue."
MyMgr: "PaperTrail, how hard is it to add an extra button?"
Dev1: "Oh yea, adding buttons is easy."
Dev2: "I can do it 5 minutes"
Dev3: "We'll save the company thousands and thousands of dollars!"
<lots of head-knodding and smiles>
MyMgr: "That settles it. PaperTrail, add the extra button!"

Users still screwed things up, but at least they couldn't blame it on not having an extra button.

Met colleague at work

Him: You programmers don't like sleeping at all. You should try to sleep and look fresh like me ... Blah blah blah... (You get the picture)

Me: *just smiles and watch him go*

(But what I really wanted to say)

Me: 'Well you know what, most programmers don't sleep much not because sleep deprivation is fun or we're in some kind of cult where it's some daily ritual. But when they need to send in an update; usually on a feature to make YOUR life easier OR just can't seem get their code to run right, and they keep telling themselves; "5 more minutes", "I have a good feeling about this modification" the minutes add up and before you realize it morning! And that's why some of us look like s*** in the morning'

(And then turn around to leave only to come back really quick like I just remembered something)

Me (again): "And don't think that we enjoy it. At least the ones I know don't. It's simply a fr****** work hazard!"

not sure if counts as a compliment, but the follwing exchange with my team lead programmer felt pretty good:

"... wait, where did you find this function you're using here?"

"i didn't, it was missing so i wrote it."

"but... oh, i didn't realize you're gonna need it, if i had, i'd have given you a different task... noooo, that's internal framework functionality, i write that stuff for you guys so that you can just use it, cause it's complicated... oh, god, no, where did you put, how did you imple... (right clicks, go to definiton)... oh, it's exactly where it's supposed to be... (skims the code)... and is written exactly as if i had written it.
(looks at me and smiles, then turns to the rest of the team), guys, that component i told you to wait with making because i first need to write that complicated utility function that you'll need to use? you can start working on it now, Midnight wrote that function for me. (turns back to me) Nice, quick learner. But next time, at least let me know first, yeah?"

(that was third day in a new job, corporate-sized system. the rest of the team had been working there on that system for the past 2 years.

(probably not a good form, kinda going over team lead's head, but tbh i didn't realize i'm not supposed to touch that code because "it's complicated", while doing my task i just realized i need a function similar to a family of already implemented ones, so i just followed their convention amd added it.)

tl;dr - best programming compliment is people being surprised/confused that i did something which they thought as a normal thing that they will have to do for me, because it's in their job description to be doing it for people on my position/with my job description)

I prefer watching YouTube tutorials created by natural, cursing and burping developers to videos created by sterile people with fake smiles and awful jokes.

Much excitement!
Much yes!
Many smiles!

Most awkward work event story?

I haven't had many of those tbh. because I've been WFH last 3 years.

One that I remember was my birthday celebration at a company I worked at in 2019. The boss was hostile towards everybody and paid dog shit salaries. So the work environment wasn't the most uplifting and positive.

So anyway, The boss got a cake and rounded everybody up around me chanting Happy Birthday song to me.

Already awkward, but what made it more awkward was the fact that nobody else was clapping/singing other than the boss.

I looked at everybody and saw the depressed smiles on their faces. I'm glad it only lasted 5 mins.

*Me testing my api with vue.js*

Me: can you please update salesforce content and add new image.

Coworker: Done,image updated:

Me: did you click the sync button? Image seems to be not loading.

Co-worker: why don't you clear your browsing history and clear your cache.

Me: (talking to myself: you are asking me to clear my cache? ME? ME? ME?) Smiles back to coworker.

Co-worker: Did it work?

Me: Nope! Seems to it that you have not sync the content on salesforce. Please hit the sync button.

Co-worker: I did!

Me: I ask co-worker B he said content is not sync.

I have been working for my current employer about 3 years now. When I first got to work I was asked by another employee to work on an editor for certain types of files. We will call this employee Ed. Because his name is Ed.

Ed is a verifiable genius, and a genuinely great guy to work with. He is amazing with hardware and math. Ed has a need, or shall I say fetish. He wants an editor for some our proprietary files called "Settings files". They are just xml. Nothing special.

However, I have always had other priorities. We actually had a tense moment when I had to tell Ed my boss doesn't want me to work on the editor. I had started looking into working on the editor when my boss said stop working on this file. So since then it had become a running joke between Ed and myself. Well, I think it is funny, Ed smiles, but I know he wants this editor bad. Our boss even suggested at one time that Ed write this editor. He looked into it, but "other priorities" trumped this effort.

Okay, so now it has been 3 years and we still don't have this editor. Then I had an epiphany. Since Ed wants this editor I found an idea for the name of this program. "Settings Editor" is just too mundane. I now think it should be called: "Mr. Edit". I also found that the library we use for most of our development has text to speech built in. So when the program starts I can have it say: "Hello, I am Mr. Edit, the talking Settings Editor". I have never wanted to write this program so badly before. Muahahahahaha!

1. Manage my time better.
2. Find motivation to wake up and go to work.
3. Fake more smiles.
4. Kick ass hole (L)users in the throat when they piss me off...
5. Attend anger management.
6. Stop making shit lists.

In all honestly I need to dedicate more time to my personal clients and stop allowing my primary job’s frustration to drain my motivation to take care of their needs. It’s not fair to them that I chose the life I have. Find myself and attempt to love myself again. Create more time to focus on my health and goals. Surround myself with people that have goals and want to better their life. Find someone to share life with.

Then, with my luck; throw it all away and repeat these steps like a broken record.

Why do XML API-s still exist? WHY? It's like walking up to a hot chick hoping to get a number, but she turns around and smiles with no teeth.

Almost all my family think I'm free tech support.

My dad knows what I do and he's proud because I finished uni (he didn't), he sometimes asks for help (he repairs electronic stuff) and I try as hard as possible to be useful (it's fun!). He knows that (most of the time) I'm working when I'm in my laptop, so he doesn't bother me, he kindly asks if he needs help with something.

My brother's studying the same I did, he's doing fine. I think better than me when I started.

My sister knows that I can repair her phone/laptop but she asks me to do it whenever I have free time and how she can avoid to "damage" it again.

My friends think I'm awesome, but I'm in constant stress (thanks imposter syndrome!).

My dog, he just barks and smiles whenever I'm around and he thinks I'm awesome, so I have that going on for me, which is nice.

🐶

My boss always like to say: damn, every time we fix something something else breaks.

And I always tell him about TDD, unit tests, etc...

He smiles and continues to work as if nothing have been said...

He sits behind me and is constantly "wtfucking" and I'm here just thinking that he might have broken something that could have been avoided if he listened to me.

We are working on separate projects now and every time I think that someday I'm gonna join that code it gives me goosebumps 😵😓

I'll give you a few reasons to walk away from a dev's chair:

1. if you want your life to be simple and not challenging, if you just want to go with the flow - choose something else. Dev's life will definitely bring some challenges to your day (and sometimes night, and sometimes - your weekends). Especially if you feel you are a perfectionist, dev life could turn your life into a living hell if not handled with care.

2. If you like to see people smiling, if you love that feeling when you help someone and that someone has a better day thanks to you - choose something else. 1st line SD would probably do, but the further from technology you go - the more smiles (and human faces overall) you'll see.

3. If you prefer person-to-person interaction over to talking to machines - definitely don't be a dev. Go to management, administration or smth else, but development. >90% of the human interaction in this field is arguments and conflicts; ~8% are requests for assistance, and the remaining 2% are shared by saying "hi" to the office administrator and your (semi|)annual reviews with your manager. Not kidding.

4. If you have a personality where you find it difficult to stand your ground and not budge to the pressure/blame game/your managers asking you to stay in late. Like it or not, it happens quite often. Many devs have spoiled the management by budging to their requests/demands to stay for OT/unpaid OT to "fix the mess they have made". That's a blame game right there. And these people stay in and do what the slaves do - work for free because they are yelled at. And then management sees this technique work and (ab|)uses it on other devs. If you can say NO and stick to it, prolly wave with some printed paragraphs of labour law in front that manager's nose - it won't be a problem. But if your consciousness is too troubling - stay away from this field of engineering.

5. If you want to easily "disconnect" from work and go do something else - dev's career might be a problem. Yes, your computer might be shut down/hibernated/suspended after 5pm until 9m the next morning, but your brain will most likely keep trying to solve the problems you were facing. You'll prolly use your own computer to do some research, check some forums, docs, etc. - this is all your free time, this is all your family time donated to your manager (and to your personal knowledge base). Not to mention, all these things you learn will soon enough become obsolete, as new technologies will replace them. So if you'd like to easily "disconnect" after 5pm, doing that as a dev might be too challenging.

When I can see actual clients using my software, and can get real feedback from them.

I usually work on backstage projects and my job never really affected "real, normal users". When I have something pushed and can really see user feedback and smiles, that means I've made it.

Of course, if that's on a decent job, with a decent team and decent pay. Which is where I am at now.

Soon, the app will be released - if the external infrastructure guy stop sucking. So, I'm hoping to feel I've made it soon, real soon :)

! related

So there is this girl in my office from different team. We only talked over emails couple of times. I never got courage to go and talk to her in person. Sometimes I found her looking at me (** i guess**), sometimes she catches me looking at her. Smiles gets exchanged and that's it.

Didn't see her for 2-3 days. Checked in portal, turns out she left company. I'm feeling super bad right now. I can't focus on anything since this afternoon. I know this is not the place to share it, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...

Faaaakkkkkkkkk
Faaaccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I could've tried...

My shyness kills me more than anything else in this world.😞

*Nervous student comes in for the first interview I am conducting as a developer*

Me (as an interviewer): What is best approach to search data?

Student: It will take linear time but if data is sorted, we can do it in logarithmic time.

Me: [Smiles] Take a hint Hash Map?

Student: Yes, with it, we can do it in constant time.

Me: Okay, Bloom Filter anytime?

Student: *sweating* noooo...

Me: Okay. I am a developer so I know this.

Student: *about to cry*

Me: No problem but why will you search data when there is no problem? Don't you have better work.

Student: *confused* yup

Me: *laughs but immediately controls* Take it lightly. You know what you need to do this job. You are HIRED. :)

These expressions are great, but they all look like awkward smiles

Can AI recognize fake smiles?

Context:
So, my good-for-nothing brother-in-law comes with his toddler. I'm pissed at him for reasons, but gentlemen are always polite IRL and look at each other for greetings.
His toddler has always loved me and runs towards me. But see my fake-ass smile and suddenly she is shy and nervous.
She has noticed the stealth-fake smile that fooled her mother and grandmother.

Can AI do that? are there enough markers to differentiate a fake smile from a real one? Or is it waaay to personal?
If is it trivial, can someone please make a fake-smile coach app?

Developed an app to display examination seats allocated by an algorithm developed by someone else.

The algorithm goes berserk and allocates randomly. Spectacular failure of the system follows.

Everyone blames me for all the trouble.

The algorithm developer smiles in the background. WTH!

You can provide a URL to the data, but you can't make them think.

When you have a coworker who is not healthy (extremely obese) and you walk past their office. You notice they may have their eyes closed. Are they asleep? Are they dead? I need to leave work ASAP as I don't want to be the one to find out...

Anyway, I hope not. Would make for a shitty start to the weekend. I also don't think he and his family would like that weekend either.

I feel for the guy, he had a family member commit suicide. I think it fucked him up and he either reached for the bottle or for food. Either of those would make you unhealthy and could make you fat. I think a lot of people hide a lot of pain in their lives behind faux smiles.

not sure if they paid them enough for this crap... but the smiles on their faces look kind of genuine :-✓

I've actually already discussed this one on here I believe

I see this job looking for an android developer for Kotlin with UI experience with XD & Figma and experience with Firebase. I have all of these qualifications so I throw my resume into the fray within an 2 hours the recruiters contact me. they have an offer of 76,000 and I'm looking for junior so I'm like, eh whatever, I give them a copy of my resume and we hold discussion for a few days and then radio silence. I then see a job posting EXTREMELY similar but with a "different company" so I throw my resume in and again within 2 hours I get a call only THIS TIME ITS THE INTERNAL HR. She sounds interested we have a good conversation and sets me up for 96,000 and they schedule me for my first interview within the week. Interview goes great, next I meet with the CTO and we have a pretty good conversation, I'm expecting a technical exam but it doesn't happen instead they give me a case study. they send me requirements for an app API to use, architecture, and a week time span to do it. I finish the app with extra features within 6 days, in my understanding of MVVM and I was excited and happy about this app because its JUST NICE. a week goes by and I meet with the tech team. They grill me on my application, scalability, use cases, how would I advertise or place advertisement and I'm answering everything they love the UI (I included mockups I made on XD), they say everything sounds good everyone leaves with smiles they say they have to find out on what team to place me because they have multiple apps and that HR will be in contact with me in the next few days... A WEEK GOES BY and I randomly get the declination email that next Friday. When I asked for feedback they said it wasn't true MVVM. I was devastated until the next week when I was accepted for a higher paying job that didn't require me to move. After I accepted this job guess who calls? THE FIRST RECRUITER and for this long I was wondering if this was the same job due to the very similar job description so I ask "is your client XXXXXXX?" it was I just told him "I'm good" and hung up

i hate it when comedians smile too much.

it's like they are trying to pander or something. Or compensate the lack of material or humor

God it's so awkward because they smile as if implying that they are funny.

It feels like they are trying to hypnotize the audience into thinking they are funny.

Or as if they were your friends, I don't know what it is, but it's fucking awful.

Isn't smiling back is an evolutionary trait? Marketing folks like to brainwash people with their smiles so there has to be some truth to it.

But the last damn thing I want marketing to corrupt is stand up humor.

Just count how many times jerrod carmichael smiles. Or kate mckinnon.

God fucking dammit, let me decide if you are funny.

You can have good material with meh delivery, but not the other way around, I'm not a fucking baby laughing as a reflex, I can understand sentences.

> Error
> Error
> Adds "console.log(valueThatIsRelatedToError)"
> Smiles because I managed to not fuck up logging to the console

"Averice - a serial novel"

2021 - found on the remnents of an old 'youtube' server rack.

A gaunt but handsome man walks into the view finder. Adjusts the camera. "Hi guys and girls." he smiles weakly. rubs his blonde unshaved stubble, running his hand over his mouth, inhaling as if trying to find the right words.

"How can I say this. god. ...americas fucked and rapidly going down the shitter,
college is a fucking scam,
all success in the modern day is based on fraud, bullshit, mythmaking, and "who you know."

we're on the verge of a new cold war, the merger of the fed and the treasury combine with negative oil is the legit death signal of the petrodollar, we're gonna go through a *50% haircut* in living standards and a doubling of taxes on *everything* in the next six months, the tech bubble is gonna burst taking with it half the industry jobs overnight, the credit bubble will burst even as the fucking stock market climbs higher, a quarter or more of all retail will shut down leaving empty assets turning every state property market into the equivalent of fucking detroit. MAD as a protective doctrine is dead with the spread of hypersonic weapons so enjoy living with the constant threat of being obliterated without warning, my entire generation basically has no meaningful or stable future to look forward to, and none of us have really had an actual, genuine say in anything involving society for decades."

He exhalled visibly on camera, as if exhausted by the demons of anxiety he'd poured forth, a torrent of fears, uncertainties, and revelations like the tormented ghost of christmas past

A long pull from a bottle of southern comfort.

"look. we have an out of control intelligence apparatus that are in their operation more orwellian than the real life stasi ever were, a government at both the federal and state level thats made of millionaires and billionaires who give no fucks at all except for their own power, out of control and absolutely dogshit-corrupt *local* leaders, nothing is audited, nothing is meaningfully transparented, rampant fraud, destruction of evidence, witness tampering, railroading, intimidation, violence, threats of violence, skyrocketing cost of living, skyrocketing spending, skyrocketing taxes, skyrocketing policies of total control by police, skyrocketing homelessness, fatherlessness, poverty, political corruption, drug abuse, massive politically funded thinly veiled state propaganda, collapsing and decaying infrastructure, the loss of all tradition, culture, community cohesion we might have had, and on and on and on and on.

and all I want right now is to get my dick sucked. drink a beer and blow my motherfucking brains out.

and when people start fighting in the streets over some bullshit and it turns into race riots, because the motherfuckers in the media serving wallstreet always make it about race or some stupid shit like that, I wont be in america to put up with it.

do us all a favor. when you're hanging bankers, hang some fucking journalists too. they never tell the truth. doesnt matter which side they are on
they only divide people and advocate for more of the same bullshit, expanded state powers, more federal dollars, more workers for their campaign, more privileges. they're fucking cancer. yes even your favorite journalist. they're a tumor on society.

our government has become hostile to us even being *alive* anymore. it has for me become intolerable, and in time I have grown to hate it.

there is no way to change it. no way to salvage it. I cannot see any hope for the future anymore. And if you search yourself I know many of you feel the same."

He took another long pull from the bottle.

"we no longer have a voice in america and no means to air our grievances peacefully.

theres nothing in it left worth saving when it all can be taken away at a moments notice by a deaf and hostile bureucratic government. I should have voted for bernie last year. At least he would have destroyed it.

many of you will disagree with this sentiment, thinking things can still work out. because you still have your creature comforts. your apartment which you cant afford. your car with its maintenace bills and monthly payments you've fallen behind on same as half the country now out of work, but in a short few months, a year at most, you will learn what I have learned, and the reason I drink, what I knew about as early as june of 2019, that this is it. this was as good as it was ever going to get. and that the good days, the best days are behind us. that all that you hold dear could be taken. all that you worked for, was already gone, and you just havent realized it yet. I've set this to autoupload once it's done recording. I built a company just to watch the people who dont want any of us to succeed burn america down around it. Im done. Goodbye america."

The man got up from his chair, camera still recording, and left. Only the red flashing dot remained, the only witness to the silence.

I have a friend named Rich. To protect his identity we will refer to him as Rich.

Rich: I don't like Dick.
Me: ...What?...
Rich: The name, I don't like the name Dick. <Rich then goes on to explain why he doesn't like the name Dick. How he got the name Rich. Like 5 or 10 minutes of this>
Me: <Trying not to laugh, because he is naive enough to not know the other connotations of not liking Dick>
Rich: And that is why I don't like Dick.
Me: <Smiles and nods. This was deep and personal to him.>

Things I wanted to say:
"I am glad we got this out in the open."
"Well, I don't like Dick either."

This is such a great relief from my student life and I'm sure brings smiles to fellow software devs when working. Thank you devRant!

Once upon a time in the bustling city of Techville, there lived a talented web developer named Alex. Known for their exceptional coding skills and innovative designs, Alex had a reputation as a brilliant but often solitary worker. Despite their immense talent, they often struggled with social interactions and found it challenging to connect with their colleagues.

One sunny morning, as Alex arrived at the sleek offices of WebWizards Inc., they noticed a new face amidst the sea of familiar coworkers. Her name was Lily, a warm and friendly individual with an infectious smile. Alex couldn't help but be drawn to her positive energy and kind nature.

Over time, as they worked on various projects together, Alex and Lily formed an unexpected bond. Lily's patience and willingness to collaborate made their partnership seamless. She recognized Alex's expertise and valued their creative input, which helped foster a deep sense of mutual respect.

As their professional relationship grew, Alex began to see beyond the surface of the company they worked for. They realized that WebWizards Inc. was more than just a business; it was a family of talented individuals who genuinely cared about one another. The company fostered an inclusive and supportive environment, encouraging personal growth and celebrating achievements.

One day, overwhelmed by gratitude for both Lily and the company they worked for, Alex decided to express their feelings. They sat down and poured their heart out, typing a heartfelt message of appreciation and admiration. Alex couldn't contain their excitement as they hit the "Send" button, eagerly awaiting a response.

To their delight, Lily responded promptly with overwhelming joy and gratitude. She confessed that she had also felt a strong connection with Alex and considered them an invaluable asset to the team. Furthermore, she shared that the supportive culture and caring nature of WebWizards Inc. had made her job more fulfilling and enjoyable.

The two coworkers became closer friends, their collaboration flourishing both in and out of the office. Alex's once-rare smiles became more frequent, and their confidence grew. They no longer felt like an outsider but an integral part of a wonderful community.

Together, Alex and Lily continued to create outstanding web projects, surpassing expectations and leaving their clients amazed. Their passion and dedication were fueled by the genuine camaraderie they shared with their colleagues at WebWizards Inc.

As time passed, Alex realized that their journey as a web developer had been transformed not only by their skills but also by the amazing people they had the privilege to work with. They learned that a kind coworker and a supportive company could make a world of difference, turning an ordinary job into an extraordinary experience.

And so, the tale of Alex, Lily, and the remarkable WebWizards Inc. serves as a reminder that in the vast realm of work, the bonds we form and the culture we foster can be as impactful as the tasks we accomplish.

Visiting Drepung Monastery
 

Highlights:

The largest monastery in Tibetan Buddhism has a cascading structure and a spectacular scale.

There are many monks in the monastery, and the scale of the ritual is large, which is very interesting for mainland tourists.

The annual Buddha worship ceremony at the Shenton Festival is the largest exhibition of Buddhas in the Tibetan area, attracting the entire Lhasa empty city.

Built in 1416, the temple has nearly 10,000 monks, and the temple is gradually rising in profile, the temples are connected, the towers stand, and the scale is grand; the temple provides silver for the Dalai Lama II, III, and IV Quality Spirit Tower. Compared with the magnificent and rigorous Potala Palace, I prefer the slackness and ease of Drepung Monastery. It is more like a hermit, with wisdom but unruly manner. Drepung Monastery is a must-visit place, its share of tranquility, share of leisure, and calmness cannot be matched by any other place. In my heart, it is not a monastery. It feels more like a quiet village. Everyone in the village lives in peace, smiles, and has good intentions. You can take bus No. 16, 17, 24 and 25 to Drepungsi Station, then walk uphill along Dangba Road for about 2 kilometers, which takes about half an hour.

Location: Lhasa, Tibet