You all need it.

Today is not a day for pancakes.

Today we need waffles.

Fresh warm waffles. With strawberries.

A pay raise. It's creative enough.

Feel free to use it!

You guys fuck!

You know, thinking about how clients are absolutely unable to get their thoughts and requirements out in an understandable manner, maybe it's a not so abnormal to suck at expressing yourself

Job searches suck. No, I don't have random bits of Java trivia memorized with perfect recall for your shitty little quiz.

I had 2 options.

Option 1: Read and increase knowledge.

Option 2: Take a sentence out of context and make a meme

Stop building a unicorn, let's build horses!

Perfect meme

"Oracle database" should be the name of the greatest horror movie of all times

Saw a McDonald's today that's asking to be hacked - their menu sign's IP address is right there on the bottom of it (original image at https://i.imgur.com/P3sFGHE.jpg):

6 char

Too true hahaha

Here’s a few bars for you:

Roses are #FF0000,
Violets are #0000FF.
Why my code’s working
I haven’t got a clue!

I've never had a great experience working with designers, but this one might be the laziest! Props if it's for a friend and unpaid though.

QA: It's not working.
Me: Are you getting 503 errors?
QA: No, just the one.

Ducks are just like programmers. They might seem calm on the surface, but they're flailing wildly underneath

Bad news:
Everyone now wants their damn solution done "ASAP". Yet they fail to provide basic information. They never show up at any meeting. And ignore all my emails. FUCK!

Good news:
It's Taco Tuesday.

Is good code the same as clean code?

Clean code is hard to follow all the way through

I cannot find a job because I don't have experience and I cannot get experience because I don't have a job.

-- Ancient Chinese Proverb

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

Had a customer on the phone who couldn't figure something out. Wanted to give him instructions so I asked him whether he used mac or windows (getting used to not including Linux in that question). His reply: uhm this has a weird name... do you know elementary os?

Me: you're a Linux user?!
Him: yes, I'm done with windows and mac.

Then i gave him the instructions. Nice twist of the day!

I'm not a designer but...

When an "entrepreneur" tells you about his "fantastic" ideas and expects you to be all excited and wanting to develop it for him.

Nope.

I wrote code yesterday, that functions the way it is supposed to.

I do not understand my code today.

One of my friends purchased a bootable USB of ubuntu for around 40 USD.

guess who decided to update

Facts.

This dev world is still so damn fucking sexist, it's driving me nuts.

"it's so cool seing a GIRL doing this stuff"
"wow you're so tech savy for a GIRL"
"you're too CUTE to be a developer"
"how does it feel to be a GIRL in dev"

Just treat us like fucking human beings for once instead of pretty, empty objects.

*someone ++'d your rant*
devRanter: "meh"

*someone commented on your rant*
devRanter: *Stops everything and checks*