Management: This project isn’t moving along fast enough, you know what we need?

Dev: An additional dev?

Management: No! An additional manager! We’ll have a meeting about it later today.

Dev: …

Dev: Sam’s a little nervous about taking his paid leave. I guess it’s not common in Nigeria. He needs to hear from the company that taking time off like that is acceptable.

HR: THAT’S SO INAPPROPRIATE! YOU CAN’T ASSUME HE’S FRON NIGERIA JUST BECAUSE HE’S BLACK. BLACK PEOPLE HAVE A VERY RICH AND DIVERSE CULTURE, THEY ARE NOT ALL FROM NIGERIA!!!

Dev: Sam is from Nigeria. He told me so. He tells me a lot of stories from there.

HR: …

Dev: Can you tell me something about Sam besides his skin colour?

HR: …

Dev: …

Manager: Feature C doesn’t work

Dev: We never built feature C

Manager: Nonsense, I remember feature C clearly!

Dev: It’s still in the backlog

Manager: But we had many meetings about it

Dev: Never got put on the board

Manager: Feature C is very important!

Dev: It was never assigned to anyone

Manager: What could possibly be more important than Feature C?

Dev: All the other features you placed on the board and assigned up until now

Manager: Well I need Feature C done asap! It should be top priority!

Dev: Ok then next sprint add feature C to the board and assign it to someone

*Next planning session manager leaves feature C in backlog in favour of other tickets*

*2 days later*

Manager: What is the status of feature C?

Dev: You opted to leave it in the backlog

Manager: BUT IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY!

Dev: …

Dev: *Recieves email from manager with several typos/grammar mistakes asking to open attachment with strange name and click on tinyurl style link*

Dev: *Flags as phishing*

Manager: Hey how come you didn’t action my email?

Dev: That was actually from you?

Manager: Yes.

Dev: …

Manager: In order to increase business resiliency we will be doing cross training this week.

Dev: What does that involve?

Manager: Everyone will do everyone else’s job for one day each. After this you will all be considered trained so that if anyone can easily fill in for anyone else.

Dev: …

Management: Our internal app must be 100% rigid so that we users follow predefined process flows exactly so no mistakes are made while also being 100% flexible so that users are free to go about their business in whatever way they feel is appropriate for their own unique needs. These are the requirements!

Dev: …

Job Ad: You will report to leadership stakeholders on key progress initiatives and collaborate on business value add action objectives.

Translation: Have boss. Do task.

Corporate IT: Here at Company A we are very proactive about CyberSecurity!

Dev: What is our cybersecurity plan?

Corporate IT: If any breaches happen we will terminate those involved and discontinue use of the offending product

Dev: That sounds reactive to me

Corporate IT: 😡 It’s proactive actually as we put together that plan of action BEFORE anything happened!

Dev: …

Kenyans lost these great devs in a terror attack. A moment of silence

Hahahaha 😂😂😂

😂😂😂

only elon musk is smart enough to realize there are smart people out there who can get shit done without a goddamn fcking degree

Found another type of music yesterday.
Lo-fi. It feels like it's a mixture of EDM (a little bit), Hiphop, Synthwave, Jazz and Trap.
I like it.

This passes all unit tests

yes. just life.

GO FASTER

*GOD IT'S SO CLOSE*

LMFAOOOOOOO

I used to like web development. But i got sick and tired of every client expecting a website in a $200 price range.

So true 💡

lols, just salute

They call it $5/gb hotel wifi, i call it free uncapped 100meg fibre because your security sucks

Oh and they host their entire POS (and database with backups) on the same network accessible to every TV in the hotel

🤷🏼‍♂️true ????

Keep up the good work devs

When you get high on validation

I've made a thing and I'm proud of it.:D

So... GDPR.
And the deadline.
And I have no idea what to do.

What does it mean for one-man indie projects? Data protection officers? Companies? Controllers? Processors? EU employees? Argh.

Look, please, EU. Not everyone can afford to hire an entire team for this, when their current team is literally one person.

Yes, the GDPR is probably a step in the right direction, but I think I'll just stop collecting the data altogether.

(All data I collect is just user settings stored in a database, nothing more.)

Can someone point me in the right direction?

One year of devRant for me. 🎂🥂🍾
Thank you all for the journey, it's been amazing. 🙂

These guys were studying for a Java exam...from PRINTED OUT PHONE PICTURES OF CODE ON THEIR SCREENS

I inserted a unicode 'reverse text' character into the registration form of our energy provider and see what we got today 😁🤣

😆