Details
Joined devRant on 5/8/2021
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
> In office for first time in awhile
> Run into group of 4 people I don’t recognize in far cubicle corning laughing in hushed voices eating of an impressive spread of food
> See me and immediately look at each other with panicked expressions
> Confused, I put my hands up to indicate I come in peace
> They relax a little and say they thought I was from HR since they didn’t recognize me
> Ask why HR seeing them would be such a big deal
> They say their potluck is not “sanctioned”
> …?
So apparently HR just could resist ruining one of the only good things about coming into the office and one of the coolest things about the company’s culture. At least once a month there would be a giant potluck where everyone would bring some home cooked dish and share it. I can’t tell you how amazing these are in Canada, 50+ plates of authentic food from all over the world.
Unfortunately HR didn’t agree as 1. They didn’t cook so felt bad taking food. 2. Nobody asked them permission to put on these events they just happened organically. 3. Some people were bringing in food that they felt was culturally inappropriate (ie. caucasian guy bringing in homemade sushi).
HR recently banned all “unsanctioned” potlucks and all future potlucks needed to be approved through them with the following stipulations. 1. You could participate without bringing something by donating to HR $10 2. If you brought something you still had to give HR $10. 3. Things you brought in had to be approved by HR
Naturally the first and only potluck under these rules only 4 people brought something in as many couldn’t get their dishes approved because HR didn’t like what they were planning to bring (started out as being because culture and turned into HR just being picky), most just brought $10 so there wasn’t enough food to go around and so after HR took a giant group photo to post on the company’s social media accounts to show off how good the company’s culture is most everyone had to go out for lunch. HR sent out an email later that day exclaiming what a huge success for charity and the company brand the potluck was and they can’t wait for the next one. (I have the HR communications email marked as spam so I never saw the email). Nobody ever organized a sanctioned potluck after that.
However people still missed cooking and sharing their favourite recipes with one another so potlucks still occur but they are now very small, secret, invite-only, hush-hush affairs.
…What in the ever loving fuck22 -
Got back at work after 2 weeks off
Useless to say I did not remember what to do or where to start…
Today I was working on a feature and while thinking about code organization I found an empty function ready to be filled with the exact name I was about to type.
My 2 weeks ago self prepared it for me… it was so kind of him -
I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support. I'm a developer, not technical support.11
-
Here's what being in a rut is like:
You wake up to the alarm, you waste an hour or two in bed stalling browsing social shit. Finally got out of bed. You have a todo list. You ignore it. Get something to eat. Open Netflix or some brain numbing shit while having breakfast. A few hours go by, you're still watching Netflix and switching to browsing social shit in-between so your brain is numb as much as possible. It's lunch time, you're supposed to cook something, nah, I will order something. Oh, it's bedtime, let's make a todo list and go to bed and start over tomorrow...5 -
Not necessarily a DEV rant, but a rant nonetheless.
This day sucks.
So first, my bus got late 25 minutes, because entire city decided that it will take a car - because it was raining horizontally. At some point I was doing 1 km in 10 minutes. Then my train got delayed by 5 minutes. So l had to do a little bit of cardio and ran to the next bus from station to school.
When I finally made it - surprisingly 5 minutes before the start of the exam, it turned out that I wasn't even on the list of participants. Which was surprising to both me and teachers, because I was clearly registered on the portal. Well, they hand added me in and let me in.
Then I open my laptop, I start it up
I try to start the exam. But it said that I don't even have the examination program - even tho I did install it yesterday.
So I had to quickly download it and reinstall it. Then I could finally write the Project Management exam.
Thankfully the exam went fine, I feel confident about the results, but it’s like everything tried to make sure I am not gonna make it.3 -
Dear Microsoft Kusto Query Language (KQL)
Screw you. You suck like more than a sudden depressurization event in an airplane. Creating your own freaking query language is bad, the people who invented SQL based it on a the principles of mathematical relational algebra, which although confusing, and not suited for all use cases is at least consistent.
You were invented by a bunch of oxygen deprived halfwits based on the principles of sadism and incompetence.
The only situation in which I would voluntarily use KQL as my tool of choice is if my purpose was to extract a Dantesque style revenge on someone who had committed grievous harm to myself and my family members. In that case forcing them to work with you day in and day out would still border on cruel and unusual punishment.
Sincerely, A developer who has spent the past 2 hours dealing with your Lovecraftian madness.
P.S. I hope you choke on a raw chicken bone and no one gives you CPR.3 -
I was working with this "friend" in a supposedly "partnership" way. He was handling the customer getting all the info for the product and doing all the communication.
fRiEnD: So I talked with the customer, the website will be delivered on 10th of June.
Me: yOu &%@!ing WhAt?!
*he didn't ask before if it would have been possible12 -
Not gonna lie I have toxic people in my life and I have caught myself in multiple situations where I behaved differently, did or did not do something just because they were near.
Whenever these people are gone it’s just the most beautiful thing to be able to relax (also in my mind).
It’s crazy what other people do with us and how we can exaggerate all these feelings and emotions. The best thing I can do is to get rid of this toxicity in my life and move on.
Anybody else or is it just me?1 -
When you ask a short question(in Slack) to your teammate that can be simply answered in Slack and they start a video call immediately after reading your question...
Now you have to stop music/video, clean the background...1 -
A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!401 -
A group of wolves is called a pack.
A group of crows is called a murder.
A group of developers is called a merge conflict.28 -
Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
I: What?
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
X: Google?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37.
I: What?!
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
X: Hentai.
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
I: What?
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
I: (shocked)
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
X: No.
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
http://pythonforengineers.com/the-p...89 -
Solution for all the problems... Even global warming
Have you tried turning it off and on again...!?? 😌2 -
A wife asks her developer husband to go to the store and get a loaf of bread. She also says that if they have eggs, get a dozen.
He comes back with 12 loaves of bread.4 -
Clients that ask you to build X and then when you ask about said details to know everything up front, you get a deer in the headlights look.
I get it, not knowing right away is fine, but 5-6 months later and still "not knowing", being absolutely lazy with no responses to questions or just dumping the work to me to figure out from whatever source material you got it from and force me to crunch to save your ass isn't fun for me and I really don't give a shit about how much praise you give me publicly for the job I did.1 -
In the Vietnam War, soldiers called M16A1 "Mattel 16" because of its plastic parts and it being notoriously unreliable.
Though, Eugene Stoner didn't design a bad weapon. M16A1 passed the test phase perfectly, but it was tested by experienced marine soldiers who knew what they were doing. Eugene and Armalite didn't realize that even though the weapon worked reliably for marines didn't mean it would still be reliable in the hands of inexperienced privates.
This is why you should always account for proficiency and experience of your users.8 -
The project is nowhere near complete, the customers are waiting for demo/proof of concept. the code is spaghetti and I'm burned out.
Oh, and I'm a solo dev.2 -
Anyone reading these emails we are sending?
I work at a small place. A few users are using an application at our place that I develop and maintain. We all work remotely.
I announce by email to these few users a new version release of said application because of low level changes in the database, send the timeline for the upgrade, I include the new executable, with an easy illustrated 2 minutes *howto* to update painlessly.
Yet, past the date of the upgrade, 100% of the application users emailed me because they were not able to use the software anymore.
----------------
Or I have this issue where we identified a vulnerability in our systems - and I send out an email asking (as soon as possible) for which client version users are using to access the database, so that I patch everything swiftly right. Else everything may crash. Like a clean summary, 2 lines. Easy. A 30 second thing.
A week pass, no answer, I send again.
Then a second week pass, one user answers, saying:
> well I am busy, I will have time to check this out in February.
----------------
Then I am asking myself:
* Why sending email at all in the first place?
* Who wrote these 'best practices textbooks about warning users on schedule/expected downtime?'
*How about I just patch and release first and then expect the emails from the users *after* because 'something is broken', right? Whatever I do, they don't read it.
Oh and before anyone suggest that I should talk to my boss about this behavior from the users, my boss is included in the aforementioned 'users'.
Catch-22 much ? Haha thanks for reading
/rant7 -
i dislike the people that dont take mental illnesses seriously. its a serious thing and they don’t think its a real thing because they havent been through it.3