Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

Two factor authentication atrocities 😍😍

stairs which is started from zero :D

Learning chineese !

*at work* (fictional names)

Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.

😆

When your internet doesn't work for 2 hours and you decide to create a stupid script to check the extension of each files and it works at the first try... WTF is happening?

Me these days

Me: *Opens GitHub issue*

Maintainer: "it's a known issue"

# issue closed

* Selects text to copy *
* Ctrl + C to copy *
* Selects text to be replaced with copied text *
* Ctrl + C again instead of Ctrl + V *

Instant rage.

*food comes in at work today*
Fellow engineer: yum yum yum!
Me: apt apt apt!
All engineers: 😑

😅

Me trying to understand postgres's explain command output

- Let's use jquery to fix this
- No
- But it will work just fine
- I'd rather re-write the code and not use jquery in an angular project
- ...
- NO!

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

I lost a friend today😭.

He wanted to checkout my MacBook Pro, because he was thinking about buying one.

So I pulled mine out of my backpack, and turned it on.. Then windows 10 popped up!

I looked at him in shock like I just got caught watching porn. I tried to explain to him “it’s not what you think! I had to install it to use Microsoft Project!

He just looked at me in disgust, shaking his head, and walked away....

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years working in this company?

(The company shut down after 2 years.)

The time a client compared me to an abortion for charging him a £10 monthly hosting fee...

Just saw a junior engineer role that requires 7years of experience. Some people will not make it to Heaven.

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

Shit happens... but never let your shit go to far... specially while in production or drunk.

The S in PDF stands for standardized.

I'm the git master in my group for a uni project as I am the only one with some experience.
This is what I have to deal with

Things used to be simple🤔

working on a better captcha...

This is what our university recommends as reading material for databases. I'm still in denial that this exists.

I was really confused for a second as to why Redhat sent me a pizza...

My boss to me: Holy shit dude I think you have very serious case of OCD.

Me: :/

Whenever I have to work on others' code

Hahaha

R: " I'm not hiring him, he use spaces over tabs. "

I fucking love silicon valley

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.