Just called Asus for a problem with my router, went to send them my systemlog.txt for analysis

"Oh we don't have an email you can send that to"

Me: "(me calling bullshit) let me talk to the tech team.."

*Get transferred*

"Hello this is the supervisor"

Me: "fml"

"Ya we don't have an email you can send that to, but we can use a different departments verification services to get a file from you, has to be a picture though"

Me: "What? I got a .txt file here, I just want to get it to you, does it really have to be a picture?"

"Has to be a picture or a PDF, we can't take txt files"

Me: "fkin.. srsly? Fine"

I can't believe Asus's system srsly. I think it's for virus protection, but viruses can be embedded in both picture formats and PDF, but not in txt. So wtf is going on lol

Push your commits before anyone else, so you don't have to resolve any merge conflicts 😈

A person who left university as a good developer, probably entered university as a good developer.

I charmed the graphic designer and we "hung out" a lot at my place during lunch.

The graphic designer was the boss' daughter.

When your professor pronounces Git as "jit", you know it's time you drop out.

Guys guys guys!! I ran the windows network diagnostic tool... And it actually fixed the problem!

😎 = me, 💩 = client

💩: "I must emphasize that I'm on a tight schedule. I need this done in 2 weeks."
😎: I cut some features and take the job.
As agreed, I send a progress report at the end of the week to get feedback.
💩: *nothing*
😎: He must be busy... I'll call him if he doesn't reply in a few days.
💩: *doesn't answer call*
😎: Time running out, still no feedback, I assume everything is fine and finish it a day before the deadline. Suddenly:
💩: "Hi, how's the project going?"
😎: "...good... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???"
💩: "Oh, I went on a quick vacation"
😎: *wants to die a quick and painless death*
"There's only like a day left..."
💩: "Right... Soo, here's the feedback you asked for"
*dumps 4 paragraphs of stupid nitpicking on me (rants following)*
😎: *wants client to die a slow and painful death*

The moment an other team couldn't deliver for a deadline. CEO came to me, gave me 50 bucks told me to get a pizza and some hash and just work the night and deliver the damn app. So I did. Got a week holiday for free in return. One of the best guys I worked for.

One of my client (who's also a coder) asked me today

"Are you on devRant?"

Me: 😶 What's that? 😓

#iPhone7

Heartless

This is gold. This developer has a bold captcha solution.

What do you think ?

Spaces or tabs? - Semicolons!

How to get fired (no pun intended)

Devrant mentioned in our Databases course! 😱

Oh poor Libre😂

I used CSS to vertical align some text..

without checking Stack Overflow

Senior dev : * doesn't use git *
Me: you seriously should use git...
Senior dev: * still doesn't use git *
Senior dev: * overwrites production files with old files from other computer *
Senior dev: * talks to boss *
Boss: * gets angry at me *

Asked a girl what would she like to eat and gave her two options. She answered "Ok. Let's go".

Error cannot find parameters in line 2