Next time I try to install a server, I should check if the Ethernet cable is not broken.

😐

My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.

Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?

GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.

Interviewer: Does it use internet?

GF: Yes.

Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.

GF: 😯

Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG

Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP

this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT

next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

When code is more important than life

She runs C shells by the seashore.

You always amaze me Windows!

This is just sad

We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

Network joke

When you find a problem you're trying to solve on stack overflow and it has no answers

No words...

I was really confused for a second as to why Redhat sent me a pizza...

That's a good plan🤣

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

Push your commits before anyone else, so you don't have to resolve any merge conflicts 😈

A person who left university as a good developer, probably entered university as a good developer.

I charmed the graphic designer and we "hung out" a lot at my place during lunch.

The graphic designer was the boss' daughter.

When your professor pronounces Git as "jit", you know it's time you drop out.

Guys guys guys!! I ran the windows network diagnostic tool... And it actually fixed the problem!