When developers write to santa

Just Triggering your nostalgia

Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:

Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!

I once brought my Kali Linux laptop to school. (Because normal had dead battery, waiting for shipping)

MFW someone from the IT department is called in to fix teachers projector and he sees I still have the default dragon wallpaper on it.
MFW when recognises it it's Kali.
MFW he calls the police and my laptop gets taken away because 'its dangerous' and I get questioned in school.

The police came back a week later to check my laptop again. 'uhh we gotta check the logs'.

IF I WANTED IT TO BE DANGEROUS YOU'D BE FIXING A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE FUCKING PROJECTOR!

Also, wuddup devrant!

I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...

The JS Drinking Game:

1. Think of a noun.
2. Google "<noun>.js"
3. If a libary with that name exists, drink!

Boss: Need the software ready till evening.

Me: Haste makes waste.

Boss: You are going to write waste anyway.

Cred: Practical Dev

They can just buy a different name right ?

assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.

me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.

after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.

result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.

we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?

was at a hackathon, had to write an app that sent current location to emergency contact. hard coded the location of where the hackathon was taking place and one of the members phone numbers. we came second

Well I was modelling a dragon for a game and the scales were really hard to do.

Next time I try to install a server, I should check if the Ethernet cable is not broken.

😐

My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.

Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?

GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.

Interviewer: Does it use internet?

GF: Yes.

Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.

GF: 😯

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

When code is more important than life

She runs C shells by the seashore.

You always amaze me Windows!

100% Real. And it's not even the worst on the site.

Time for some serious debugging