Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Client: Why is this not working?
Me: Because the feature expect a...
Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.
Me: Ok...
Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?
Me: 🤦🏽♂️
Client: I need a response!
Me: It is not working because...
Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...
Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.
Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...
Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...
Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)12 -
Apparantly, wanting to use company assets for a smoke machine so when clients visit you can say "Welcome to the cloud!" is immature.3
-
Alright so here goes, I currently work at a promising startup. Absolutely love it; nice, hard-working colleagues but there's only a couple of us so we all have to wear a multitude of hats.
I don't mind being on support duty or helping out a customer with a technical question but one thing that really gets to me is lazy people.
We have some instructional videos (made in-house by yours truly) around certain functionality in our app which can't be simplified any further and they're condensed to about 50 seconds each.
I receive an email from a customer saying that he wants the instructions in screenshot form instead of watching the video because he 'detests' watching videos.
I must admit, I was a little hurt because he dismissed my videos so easily without even watching them. Just because he really doesn't like to watch videos? I was dumbfounded.
Me putting (most of) my rustled jimmies aside, I take about an hour to screenshot and document each step of the instructions and send them to the customer with a note: Be careful, if you scroll too fast it turns into a video.
I receive a response saying he doesn't like to watch videos because he is deaf but he did admit he had a chuckle.
Morale of the story lads, keep the sass in in your IDE's and out of your customer interactions.
True story.7 -
No rant, just appreciation
A thank you to the senior developers out there who take the time to help us juniors out, to look at our (potentially) shitty code and point out how to improve it.
To help us to see the bigger picture and maybe take a more lengthy approach to a problem that'll pay off in the end.
And lastly, thanks for allowing us to learn from your years of bug splatting, stack tracing, null pointers and error messages.
You guys rock5 -
The nerdiest way to say happy birthday to someone? Tell them to paste atob("SGFwcHkgQmlydGhkYXkh") in the chrome console/firebug.3
-
what the FUCK!!! What's wrong with your heads people!?!? If you write code, write it in application source. NOT IN THE FUCKING DATABASE!!!
Database is a REPOSITORY for entities -- NOT a place to be tangled with BUSINESS LOGICS!
Raise_application_error(-20201, 'Payment already confirmed'); my ass!5 -
TL;DR - Girlfriend wanted to learn coding, I might have scared her off.
Today, my girlfriend said she wants to learn coding.
Me: why?
She: well, all these data science lectures are recommending Python and R.
Me: Ok. But, are you interested in coding?
She: No, but I think I have to learn.
Me: Hmm.. coding requires a clear thought process, and we should tell the computer exactly what needs to be done.
She: I think I can do that.
Me: Okay... then tell the computer to think and give a random number between 1 to 10.
She: I will use that randint function. (She has basic knowledge in C)
Me: Nope. You write your own logic to make the computer think.
She: What do you mean?
Me: If I were you... Since it is just a single digit number.. I would capture the current time and would send the last digit of milliseconds @current time.
She: Oh yeah, that's cool. Understood! I will try...
" " "
We both work in same office.. so, we meet up for lunch
" " "
I didn't ask about it, but she started,
She: Hmm, I thought about it, but I was not able to think of any solution. May be its not my cup of tea.
I felt bad for scaring her off... :(
Anyway, what are some other simple methods to generate random numbers like OTPs. I am interested in simple logics, which you have thought of..not the Genius algorithms we have in predefined libraries.26 -
I've been staffed on a old ongoing project, first day.
0. Compatibility has to be guaranteed down till IE9... ppf.
1. Front end made in XHTML+JS(jQuery)... bah, ok.
2. XHTML+JS is actually generated by PHP5.4, not a line is actually statically served... beh, funny, ok.
3. PHP files are the output of an XSLT transform of a bunch of XMLs... meh, seriously? Oooook.
4. XMLs are the product of the serialisation of a truck of stateful JavaEE6 DTOs populated magically (undocumented) with data coming from a SQL DB... WTF mode!!!
5. Session logics lives within PHP-land at point 2, front end makes ajax calls here that propagates to another WS out of our control that triggers -somehow- (undocumented) our Java backend at point 4 to generate new XMLs and then reach front end again. Kill me now.
Boss: look... it's too slow for the client, it's too heavy on our servers: fix it. Ah, and we sold 85% test coverage by October. You're the man for the job. (I'm a Node.js fullstacker and right now there's not even a testing scaffold, ofc).
Me: prod is on Linux or Windows?
Boss: RHEL7.
Me: rm -rf / as root. Done.
Boss: I know I know...
Me: ...
I think time has come...6 -
Ohh man i fucked up bad. 5 days as intern, and i fuck up really bad with my ego and ignorance.
I love my this company. A great environment, lots of people to learn from , i am given reasonable tasks and i feel happy to complete them. But what happened today was weird and fucked up.
I have never worked at a place with seniors designers tech leads and more people with positions. I have also worked with a lot of competitive people who are always in a race to be first.
And how do we come first? Have a lot of knowledge, hear the smallest of detail and sprint towards goal (because the combination your knowledge, assumptions and speed is enough to make you reach to the top). You don't ask for specific details, because they are obvious. And that's me in short.
Today i fucked up.
Mistake #1 ) first i was given a small task by my senior. It was a 20 mins task max if i had done it the normal noobie way . But i am a pro in mind , i have to do it with all the architecture , even if i don't understand why. So i asked for 50 mins. They gave it and did not had a problem with my time, but with the way i wrote my code.
He was like "who told you to make it like this ? Why did you made it like this?" And was visibly irritated. And i was like super chill saying "i don't know the why, but i know its correct way of using it" , pissing him even more. In my eyes he's just a super friendly sr, more like a bro and wouldn't mind some cheeky answers. And he didnt show any
consequences for that time.
Mistake #2 this is super fucked up. Our office is going under some renovation & interns were asked to sit in the co-working spaces (outside of the office). It was already very disturbing and i had to go to office every few minutes.
So after lunch this happens : We are working on a new module that already has a tonne of screens and logics. I have made a small part which is from the middle and now we can go both in the forward or in the backward direction.(Also, its quite a new module whose idea was recently discussed and decided. And weirdly i am also being treated like a core member as the ceo once himself asked what would he my flow for doing things in this. i am in direct contact and under direction of backend , designers , ceo and My senior and many ppl are giving me tasks ) And... Aagh fuck it. .. its a long story and i don't feel like repeating it but
inshort :
got a task,
didn't understood it completely and thought its my task to figure it out, took a long time figuring it my self ,
techlead/designer somehow changed my and my sr. direction of flow even tho we were taking a different approach
I sit in a noisy and irritating place
Techlead/designer comes during the time when i am figuring out the solution(already overtime the one in point #2) nags for result.
I get in an argument with him, justifying for my time and arguing that it's difficult to think technical logics for that design
( truth be told, it WAS a difficult logic which he thought was too easy. It consisted of 3 variables and 8 states we were doing different works for 4 of them and rejecting 2 and ... I don't know, i had got that wrong . But that shouldn't had been my problem to solve. I should have gone to my senior and didn't get into argument with tech lead ). It think i might have offended him too.
After he left, i am so angry on him that after sometime my senior comes and i misbehave with him. He just asks to meet me before i go, and i do so. During the meeting we discuss this whole fuck up and how many times i showed him my ego and indiscipline. And then i realise what a fuckup i did due to my ego and lack of asking, blindly following my own over confidence and blindly following or arguing with others.
Fuck fuck fuck6 -
My business partner who claim to be the best Wall Street programmer, probably 160 years ago, decided to improve our core system written in Go.
He dragged a *shortcut* of *whole* local github folder into Vendor(sort of node_modules), Manually changed commit hash in Gopkg.lock, etc,
Next morning I woke up to 24 failed builds on Master; all protobuf redone with his unknown gogo version, database trigger function with changed logics added parameters, and a text message “has anyone experienced build corruption? Works on my mac”
My other business partners said “it’s okay, He’s going through tough divorce needs some distraction”
F M L1 -
Alcoholic Programmer
Last year, I had an inevitable programming session while I was drunk. I didn't struggle at all. I programmed like composing a poem. Btw I have been programming for last 18 years and never enjoyed this much after college programming labs.
Since then I've been drinking before complicated logics and never disappointed.
Tl;dr. Programming is fun, but programming is unparalleled when drunk.4 -
Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.
Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.
I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.
And there is no unit test or spec doc.
Fuck me dead3 -
That feeling when you're working with production data and you get a cold feeling running down your spine, telling yourself: you could really fuck up now.3
-
When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).
Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.
-
I was absolutely angry, my ego had been wounded. I had built the entire product from scratch, while my bosses just clinged onto one feature that i had not done.
It wasn't even going to be used i knew that and hence was slack. It also required a lot of algo writing.
Post the discussion i decided I'm gonna take out my hurt ego's anger on this algo. I drank whole night and coded. Damn fucking one of the most complex logics i had ever written. It was done and tested while the sun rose. And i slept, next day was a Sunday. I couldn't get hungover.
I was wrong, the logic was used and is one of the core logics of the product. Something that we boast of. 😁 -
How do you learn to design the UI for mobile app? I don't have problem with business logics but my app is hella ugly 😂7
-
having some rich and poor friends , i have found some weird behavioural patterns:
1. the poorer they are the lesser they value time over everything else. rich guys not only value their own time, they value other person's time too
2. the poorer a person is, them more they find happiness in people than objects. the richer a person is , the more they spend 'buying' happiness in the form of shiny objects/materialistic stuff than celebrating with people
3. poor people are inclined towards respects and beliefs , while rich people are inclined towards facts and logics. a rich guy is always trying take decisions and make opinions around facts+logics(and even sometimes trying to create false facts around their perspectives), while the poor folks end up doing something out of respect because their ancestors or relatives etc "told" them to do so
======
I am not sure if i can infer anything from above facts. these are not the points that "make" someone rich or poor (or maybe they do, idk)
Both have their goods and bads, but both types of folks are not ideal : Poor people have decency, humanity and respect for traditions/people, but lack areas of growth. while rich people are so much focused on growth and gains, they forget to be a human first
As a friend, i enjoy both styles : get ample amounts of outing, fun, budget parties with my poorer folks, while going into fancy expensive restaurants and trying new cuisines with my richer folks :P4 -
Reading code takes time!
Everytime I read:
"var" or "auto" Add: 10s
- Just use the type
Everytime I read:
if(Expression1 && Expression() ? GetNumber() : 0 > 0) Add: 30s
- Just write two if statements or create two bools the line above.
Everytime I read:
delegate = () => {} Add another 5 minutes of reading time.
- Just write a separate function for it. It helps with searching and understand what it does
Please code like the person that needs to check your code or change it just knows basic coding skills and logics.
I do know all these concepts I just never use them because it makes the code unreadable. hard to follow, mistakes that can happen everywhere. difficult to search.
And it frustrates that I need to read 10 extra lines to understand code flow or hover my mouse in an IDE to figure out what type object it is.
It's properly just me... I just like clean readable code. that is logical and failsafe and strict and deterministic with its behavior9 -
Am currently developing an app which uses an IaaS named Auth0. Great experience so far, reasonable docs, unlimited users, social login, sso and support for about $29/m.
After an inquiry from a customer to provide MFA, I contacted Auth0 to see what it would take to use this feature.
"We only offer this in our Enterprise plan which starts at $18k/yr."
Well, fuck me with a pitchfork and call me Bridget the midget. I'll code it my goddamn self.1 -
[FEATURE_REQUEST] Could we get a stat that shows how many consecutive days we've visited / opened DevRant?3
-
So i made an account on this education videos android app for checking their ui. Used the name "Han solo" and... they contacted me for buying their courses!
Geek reference vs marketing logics:
Tech people: 1
Marketing dept : 🤦🏻♂️
3 -
Do you believe in QA who only tests the application as a user i.e just blackbox testing of clicking here and there.?
The QAs in my company doesn't have a clue on how the shit works and most of them don't even understand a line of code.
I feel that it's really important to test the application from the web api level as well to test out all the complex business logics which may not be feasible from the UI.15 -
I used to think that I can understand things and logics behind them preety well, until I came to knew that ByteDance ( parent company of tiktok and vigo video ) is more valued than Uber.
Seriously, this is the first time I'm seeing a company which serves entertainment is above than the company which is solving legit global problem.4 -
From the career point of view, I've seen many programmers, more or less, in the long run, specialize in the industry|ies they've been working, so the business practices, ins and outs and logics became part of their strong point in that|those industry|ies.
But I found myself on the opposite side, I could care less about the business's practices, etc. because in the end I'm mostly passionate about reaching some technical satisfying accomplishment or a novel approach to solve some kind of problem or just learn new approaches.
So when I'm handed info mostly focused on business practices|logics I just boringly read through it.
How about you?
Obviously business problems and technical feasibility to solve them overlap. But wouldn't be better to have people capable to express their issues more from technical points of view than talking nonsense to someone who's clueless about the business <.<?1 -
MRW 📺 says I have ~1.4 Billion neighbor's & that is the cause for too much problems. And I got stressed out and my + & - logics fighting for winner.
I got stressed out.
news wins.
now I need stressball.1 -
So how do you find motivation to finish a work project which is supposed to "go long"?
So, umm, this is weird, but i have been in this situation a few times and i am not sure if i deal with them correctly.
- the company proposes a brand new feature : a feature which never existed in the product before.
- they have high level directions (both business logics and technical) on how its supposed to be build
-they set vague but comfortable timelines (20-30days) to complete it
- they align me as the main dev for frontend, some x guy for backend , some y guy for parallel frontend (ios/web) and kinda forget about us.
- the business requirements are evolved/cleared as we go on making the product, the backend keeps on providing evolving apis which get stable over time.
- the business ppl shows that yeah there is no pressure and we won't mind extending this for release as other systems will be "obviously" taking time.
- our (the folks on new feature) feature is sidelined .nd we are rarely talked about until we reach those deadlines and at that time we are questioned.
I... am not a powerful performer in these situations. adding a new feature required solving some major problems again and again , while solving smaller problems too, so as the product finally takes shape . for eg:
1. i will start fast by adding all the possible screens, their abstract code, their navigation logic, their xmls etc
2. then based on designs, i will try creating designs a bit
3. then once the apis arrive, i start adding them and modify the logic to handle those.
4. meanwhile many smaller problems come up , like when sending an image from one screen to the previous screen, the thumbnail don't show up, so i spend 5+ hours ensuring that it works precisely . or how i could make 3 api calls in async and make the upload flow better.
5. this goes on for days, until and i and other people start to realise that my project is not upto the point of completion
i keep getting distracted from the original goal of making a working poc first and then fixing the nuances2 -
I tell a designer at the company to take a look at a (huge) corporate web project we're currently building. He's not assigned to the project, but I thought a fresh eye and recommendations could be good for future Sprints, since we're doing a first release in a month.
The guy knew all of this, yet his "designer a.k.a artistic spirit" couldn't hold him from sending a UI/UX review to the PM, of about 6-7 pages or smth - I dont even remember now.
The whole report had a total misunderstanding of the business logics, because he didn't even wait for me to explain that shit to him. Eventually his versions of UX suggestions were irrelevant. It was pretty funny, now that i think about it.
I'm guessing he just hoped to get some attention...?
tldr: its fucking disgusting when designers try to act as artists;2 -
So we decided on trying some Angular stuff. I’m the only one in the team who actually took the effort of actually doing some work in Angular.
After a week i had trouble with the last 10% of this page, building in logics this is a step too far for mw right now.
Next to me is a coworker with LOADS of Angular experience. Who probably fixes this last 10% in a day. Max two.
Now I have to follow a fucking course to get this angular thing. Just to keep me busy, instead of the quick way and let the local Angular guru take a look at this shit.
My god i’m so done with this company!!!2 -
(tldr: are foriegn keys good/bad? Can you give a simple example of a situation where foriegn keys were the only and/or best solution?)
i have been recently trying to make some apps and their databases , so i decided to give a deeper look to sql and its queries.
I am a little confused and wanted to know more about foreign keys , joins and this particular db designing technique i use.
Can anyone explain me about them in a simpler way?
Firstly i wanted to show you this not much unheard tecnique of making relations that i find very useful( i guess its called toxi technique) :
In this , we use an extra table for joining 2 tables . For eg, if we have a table of questions and we have a table of tags then we should also have a table of relation called relation which will be mapping the the tags with questions through their primary IDs this way we can search all the questions by using tag name and we can also show multiple tags for a question just like stackoverflow does.
Now am not sure which could be a possibile situation when i need a foriegn key. In this particular example, both questions and tags are joined via what i say as "soft link" and this makes it very scalable and both easy to add both questions and new tags.
From what i learned about foriegn keys, it marks a mandatory one directional relation between 2 tables (or as i say "hard a to b" link)
Firstly i don't understand how i could use foriegn key to map multiple tags with a question. Does that mean it will always going to make a 1to1 relationship between 2 tables( i have yet to understand what 11 1mant or many many relations arr, not sure if my terminology is correct)
Secondly it poses super difficulty and differences in logics for adding either a tag or question, don't you think?
Like one table (say question) is having a foreign key of tags ID then the the questions table is completely independent of tag entries.
Its insertion/updation/deletion/creation of entries doesn't affect the tags table. but for tag table we cannot modify a particular tag or delete a tag without making without causing harm to its associated question entries.
if we have to delete a particular tag then we have to delete all its associated questions with that this means this is rather a bad thing to use for making tables isn't it?
I m just so confused regarding foriegn keys , joins and this toxi approach. Maybe my example of stack overflow tag/questions is wrong wrt to foreign key. But then i would like to know an example where it is useful5
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View