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-
Having fun in Germany, I'm going to stay here for 3 days.
Everything is nice
except
that
I'll forget e v e r y t h i n g of my code
because
it is
U N D O C U M E N T E D
Wish me luck11 -
Hey, why isn't X working?
Well, whats it doing
It doesn't work
That doesn't help
OMG it blue screened
What did the blue screen say?
How do you fix it?
T e l l M e W h a t I t S a i d S o I C a n H e l p Y o u
I'm factory resetting it now
1 -
Currently developing an android app that is a clone for an existing iOS app. Sadly all the PMs and POs (the P-M/O fraction) at this firm are somehow iPhone users.
So every time we implement stuff according to android guidelines some PMO comes around and asks: "why doesn't this look/work/smell like in iOS?"
Somedays I feel like crying...6 -
C=consultant
M=Me
D=my Dumb boss
M: so how are you guys planning to implement the block all accounts feature?
C: oh it should be easy! We will just loop over every account and lock it!
M: what about implementing a flag that just blocks anyone from accessing the site till further notice?
C: what? I’m sure it’ll work. Just need a list of all accounts, we don’t need anything fancy!
M: what happens when we want to revert back to the pre-block state?
C: oh, so we will just unblock everybody
M: even people who were previously blocked for good reasons?
C: i guess so, unless you think otherwise
M: we r….
D: listen! We just need to be able to block all accounts, who cares about this details! So long as we block all accounts! We need this nuclear option in case something bad happens…
M: but what about when that bad thing passes and…
D: when it passes it passes who cares!
Arghhh so much rage here… like first at the stupid engineering design of looping over all of the accounts instead of using a simple flag. Like 1 http call (from one microservice to another) is a lot better than O(n)… not to mention, we won’t have to deal with failures and retries.
And second for my boss being a dumbass… ok you deal with being to afraid to unblock people after we used this “genius nuclear option”!6 -
Three days thinking of a solution to a problem in HackerRank...
Came up with a very elegant O(n+m) solution... failing several test cases...
Check here, there, over there. Everything seems flawless...
Re-read the problem statement letter by letter. There it is, I misread the requirement. FML8 -
So earlier today as I was walking out of class, I overheard some people talking.
One of them said “Oh I hacked google”
Then the other one said “Oh yeah I hacked google aswell. I made it say (something I forgot)”
They were thinking that using the dev tools to make one of the tags say stuff was hacking.
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
I had to run away
It was t o o m u c h9 -
Week to make a decision my ass. Two workdays.
"Hi Agred,
Thanks again for the friday's meeting!
After a short consideration, of course we would like to start working with you :)
[...]
I hope you're still interested in working with us and that we will start working together soon!"
O
M
F
G
Wow. "[...] of course we would like to start working with you". Just wow. This "of course" part really got me.
So, I've only got a month left in my current company. Goodbye working alone! Goodbye being the only person in Java and C# "departments". Goodbye stagnation!
Goodbye, Moonmen6 -
Teacher asks the class:
"How do you become a good developer?"
All the students starts talking about algorithms, problem solving or working in a team.
He nods and starts writing on the board. w w w. g o o g l e . c o m
He then leaves the classroom.
So here I am years later, a master googler and a expert stack overflower.4 -
Messenging with a friend about me working with VBA on a side project.
Me: VBA brings back bad behaviour
Him: Like?
Me: I_AM_KONSTANT and this is a _globalVariable.
Him: Hahaha^^
[...]
Me: Mister O. ...
Him: Mister M. ?
Me: Should i use goto?
Him: I think we need to break off contact.
Him: If you had said you killed someone. Ok.
Him: But GOTO?
[...]
Me: I did it. And then a cold shiver ran down my back.
Him: You deserve that!
____________________
( translate from German )4 -
(in a meeting between o&m team and business partners to assign priorities to various tasks)
I.T.: So what priority would you put this new task?
Business : it's our 1.
I.T.: ok, and this other one?
B: it's a 1.
I.T.: ... -
Copying a javascript anonymous function (Yes, the whole function) 11 times with only one parameter changing
I'm currently cleaning it up...
O H B O Y F U N D A Y S I N C O M M I N G...3 -
List of shit my superior said and wrote in the project:
1. Prefer to write "pure" SQL statement rather than ORM to handle basic CRUD ops.
2. Mixing frontend and backend data transformation.
3. Dump validation, data transformation, DB update in one fucking single function.
4. Calculate the datetime manually instead of using library like momentjs or Carbon.
5. No version control until I requested it. Even with vcs, I still have to fucking FTP into the staging and upload file one by one because they don't use SSH (wtf you tell me you don't know basic unix command?)
6. Don't care about efficiency, just loop through thousands of record for every columns in the table. An O(n) ops becomes O(n * m)
7. 6MB for loading a fucking webpage are you kidding me?
Now you telling me you want to make it into AJAX so it'll response faster? #kthxbye2 -
Today me started to come to college by wakeuping at 10@m to attend DAA class by 1pm a strict warning to all to attend by sharp 1'o clock but at the scene my madam is absent and my effort gone wrong😢😢😢(Computer Science)
6 -
// Posting this as a standalone rant because I've written the best piece of code ever.
// Inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/1493042/... , here's one way to get to number 50. Written in C# (no, not Do diesis).
int x = 1;
int y = x + 1;
int z = y + 1;
int a = z + 1;
int b = a + 1;
int c = b + 1;
int d = c + 1;
int e = d + 1;
int f = e + 1;
int g = f + 1;
int h = g + 1;
int i = h + 1;
int j = i + 1;
int k = j + 1;
int l = k + 1;
int m = l + 1;
int n = m + 1;
int o = n + 1;
int p = o + 1;
int q = p + 1;
int r = q + 1;
int s = r + 1;
int t = s + 1;
int u = t + 1;
int v = u + 1;
int w = v * 2 * -1; // -50
w = w + (w * -1 / 2); // -25
w = w * -1 * 2; // 50
int addition = x+y+z+a+b+c+d+e+f+g+h+i+j+k+l+m+n+o+p+q+r+s+t+u+v;
addition = addition * 2;
if (addition == w)
{
int result = addition + w - addition;
Console.Writeline(result * 1 / 1 + 1 - 1);
}
else
{
char[] error = new char[22];
error[0] = 'O';
error[1] = 'h';
error[2] = ' ';
error[3] = 's';
error[4] = 'h';
error[5] = 'i';
error[6] = 't';
error[7] = ' ';
error[8] = 'u';
error[9] = ' ';
error[10] = 'f';
error[11] = 'u';
error[12] = 'c';
error[13] = 'k';
error[14] = 'e';
error[15] = 'd';
error[16] = ' ';
error[17] = 'u';
error[18] = 'p';
error[19] = ' ';
error[20] = 'm';
error[21] = '8';
string error2 = "";
for (int error3 = 0; error3 < error.Length; error3++;)
{
error2 += error[error3];
}
Console.Writeline(error2);
}5 -
Ds (dipshits) keep calling my phone 6-8 times a day. Almost all automated calls.
One day AI will handle these robocallers automatically. And then it will just be GAN style robocallers vs robosecretaries training against each other to become better and better at fooling each other.
And then suddenly, one day: skynet.
With a neutral female voice.
Or maybe an Indian accent.
"Hel. Lol. m I k r O s o t tech surprott. We detect virus on ur peesee. You will be assimilated. Where joon connor?"
Like a possessed speak-n-spell melting to death in a dumpster fire.
And we'll have done it to ourselves.6 -
friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor
next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone
after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9
o(╥﹏╥)o5 -
Unity just mailed me:
H E Y U W A N T S U M U N I T E V I D E O S ?
I should really unsubscribe from the mailing list.5 -
Hm, missed a bit this pile of sociopaths here on devRant.
Last few weeks:
I repeat myself, this shouldn't be hard.
Working on it for 5 mins.
O h m y g o d.
Quite nothing the past weeks worked like intended, people and management have been a complete desaster and the weather is killing me.
Cheers.
Oh. And my request to get an benzo perfursor and a sexy manly nurse was denied by my team colleague handling hardware management.
-.- He said me being in a good mood is the last missing sign that the apocalypse is happening.
Yeah. Shit is burning everywhere. We're e.g. getting hardware delivered by a supplier who said that the request *was* canceled (after 3 months...) Two days phoning back and forth, they don't understand how it was possible but we can keep the hardware. Yay. Except that we completely redid the whole planning a week before. Naaaayy....
And now I will do the best I can: get drunk.
Cheers. -
!basicNonHarmfulExploitTest
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
Lets see If I can mess up the character cutoff limit 😜3 -
fallacy of a "good child". m:mom/dad s:son/daughter , o: outcome.
counter : 1
m : Son, can you do this thing x for me?
s : yes sure
o : son is good
counter : 2
m : Son, can you do this thing x for me?
s : yes sure, give me 5 mins
after 5 mins...
--case 1 : m is still waiting, s comes and does the work
---o : son is bad since son let m wait
--case 2 : m did half of x and says "just teach me how this part is done, and i will do it on my own". s teaches
---o : son is bad since son didnot do the task
--case 3 : m does the whole x work
---o : son is bad since son did not do the task
counter 3
m : Son, can you do this thing x for me?
case 1)s : why can't you do it yourself? i taught you last time?
--- o : son is bad
case 2) yes give me 5 mins
---o : same as cases of counter 2, i.e all are bad
counter : misc
m : why didn't you do x for me beforehand? why do i need to tell you everytime?
case 1 s : woah! when did you say to do it each day?
--- o1 : son is bad since he cross questioned
case 2 s : oh am sorry, i forgot
--- o2 : son is bad as he intentionally forgets
----
am i not seeing enough politics in the office each day to handle another black tag on me? i sometimes delay a task assigned to me, sometimes want other to just understand and do it on their own. but why does it always end up making me a bad offspring?1 -
Damn guys and girls and other human-like carbon based live beings, Windows 10 Enterprise Bloatware Free Edition is just
A W E S O M E
give it a try, it's worth it.7 -
I was away sick for a week. Come back to a chat log with messages about how the other dev team is trying to figure out a solution to a bug that they only show three services listed in the system.
Me couple of weeks ago on my second day in the project figured it out relating to a task I was doing. It's not a bug, it's a feature. It's a constant defined in the constants-file.
And the best thing: my team mate quoted me and said "Lankku figured it out last week". And it was passed down back to the team who had actually developed the whole feature and couldn't figure out why it was working so now. xD -
A cold fear clawed at my throat as I watched $120,000, my life savings, vanish into the digital abyss with a single, ill-fated click on a seemingly legit website. My financial future crumbled like a sandcastle under a rogue wave, leaving me gasping for security. Days bled into weeks, each one a gut-wrenching symphony of despair and frantic Googling. Every "lost funds recovery" claim screamed "scam" in crimson neon. Until, amidst the digital rubble, I stumbled upon Lee Ultimate Hacker — a flicker so faint I almost missed it, but a tenacious shadow nonetheless. Could this company, with its seemingly fantastical promise, truly be my knight in shining armor? I devoured testimonials like a drowning man grasping at lifelines thrown across the void. Finally, fueled by a desperate hope, I reached out. From the first hesitant email, Lee Ultimate Hacker exuded empathy. Their team, a chorus of patient voices and reassuring tones, walked me through the intricate dance of data recovery. Every update, every hurdle overcome, chipped away at the ice encasing my heart. Weeks later, the unthinkable happened. Lee Ultimate Hacker did it. They retrieved my $120,000, meticulously piecing together the shattered fragments of my financial security. Tears, this time joyful, streamed down my face as the numbers materialized on my screen, tangible proof of a miracle. More than just recovering my funds, they reminded me that kindness, expertise, and sheer determination can triumph even in the darkest corners of the digital world. Today, I stand taller, my voice a testament to their prowess. I consider myself not just lucky, but eternally grateful. Remember, your story is a powerful tool to raise awareness about online scams and inspire others facing similar situations. Don't let your misfortune be in vain. Let it be a beacon of hope, a testament to the power of resilience and the magic of unexpected allies like Lee Ultimate Hacker. Lee Ultimate Hacker proved to be the beacon of hope I desperately needed. From the moment I reached out, their empathy and expertise shone through. Their team guided me with patience and reassurance, turning what seemed like an impossible situation into a success story. Their meticulous approach to data recovery left no stone unturned, ultimately restoring my financial security and faith in humanity. Their testimonials spoke volumes, offering a lifeline in a sea of doubt. Unlike other recovery services that felt like scams, Lee Ultimate Hacker delivered tangible results, proving themselves to be trustworthy allies in the fight against online fraud. I wholeheartedly recommend Lee Ultimate Hacker to anyone facing a similar predicament. They are not just a company; they are guardians of hope, capable of turning despair into triumph with their expertise and dedication.
Contact info:
L E E U L T I M A T E H A C K E R @ A O L . C O M
S u p p o r t @ l e e u l t i m a t e h a c k e r . c o m
t e l e g r a m : L E E U L T I M A T E
w h @ t s a p p + 1 ( 7 1 5 ) 3 1 4 - 9 2 4 8
-
In the chaotic world of online investments and cryptocurrency trading, trust is a fragile commodity. It takes just one wrong move to lose everything, and unfortunately, many fall victim to sophisticated scams promising high returns with minimal effort. I found myself in such a predicament, having been lured by the deceptive promises of 'Ghost Traders' who vanished into thin air, leaving me in a state of despair. However, amidst the darkness, there was a beacon of hope – Lee Ultimate Hacker. with Lee Ultimate Hacker began at my lowest moment. I had invested a substantial amount, $227,000, entrusting it to the hands of supposed experts who claimed they could multiply it tenfold through Bitcoin trading. As the days passed, my investments seemed to vanish into the digital abyss, along with any hope of recovery. The website of the 'Ghost Traders' disappeared without a trace, leaving me stranded and financially devastated. Frustrated and desperate for a solution, I stumbled upon Lee Ultimate Hacker. Skeptical yet with little to lose, I reached out to them, sharing the harrowing tale of my financial demise. To my surprise, they responded promptly, offering reassurance and a glimmer of hope. Despite my initial reservations, I decided to place my trust in their hands, a decision that would ultimately change my life.The turnaround was swift and astonishing. Within a mere six hours, Lee Ultimate Hacker had accomplished what seemed impossible – they had recouped my entire investment, restoring my faith in the possibility of redemption. It was a moment of sheer relief and gratitude, knowing that there were still honorable entities in the digital realm willing to fight for justice. what set Lee Ultimate Hacker apart is not just their efficiency in recovering lost funds, but also their unwavering commitment to their clients. Throughout the process, they maintained open communication, providing regular updates and guidance to ease my concerns. Their professionalism and dedication were evident at every step, instilling a sense of confidence and trust that had been shattered by previous experiences. Lee Ultimate Hacker goes beyond mere transactional interactions; they prioritize education and empowerment. In sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness about the importance of due diligence and vigilance in the online investment landscape. Their quick tip resonates deeply – if recovery efforts stagnate, it may be time to seek alternative assistance. It's a lesson learned the hard way, but one that I am grateful for nonetheless. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly recommend Lee Ultimate Hacker as a beacon of hope for those who have fallen victim to financial scams. Their swift action, unwavering dedication, and commitment to client satisfaction set them apart as a trusted ally in the fight against online fraud. With Lee Ultimate Hacker by your side, there is light at the end of the tunnel – a chance to reclaim what is rightfully yours and rebuild trust in the digital world. Thank you, Lee Ultimate Hacker, for restoring my faith and helping me reclaim what was lost.
Contact :
L E E U L T I M A T E H A C K E R @ A O L .
C O M
S u p p o r t @ l e e u l t i m a t e h a c k e r . c o m
t e l e g r a m : L E E U L T I M A T E
w h @ t s a p p + 1 ( 7 1 5 ) 3 1 4 - 9 2 4 8
-
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16 -
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It was a casual warning about using sketchy third-party wallets in some crypto Discord group. I blew it off, figuring I had done my research, that I was being cautious enough. A week later, that warning haunted me as I woke up to a disastrous reality: I had lost $275,000. I had been using a wallet-something that seemed so legitimate-but which, actually, was a very ingenious scam. Suddenly, everything was going great, and then my balance disappeared into nowhere. I was in a state of utter panic. I had always been very cautious about security; yet, I managed to let my guard down. I felt stupid, helpless, and betrayed. Frantic, I scrolled through the same Discord group in which the warning first appeared; my hands shaking while rereading old messages, hoping for some miracle solution. That's when I saw it-multiple people tagging FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY and saying that they were the ones that helped them recover their stolen funds. Desperate, I reached out. I sent in a message detailing everything that happened. Much to my relief, FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY got in almost immediately, and from that on, I had this feeling like I was no longer alone with it. They explained the process to me and assured me of how they would handle the matter, and with that, it was all working. I can feel the burden coming off me. It wasn't just their expertise that impressed me, but they were indeed so patient with my endless questions and very transparent about the whole recovery process. They even took the pain to explain how the scam happened and what I could do to prevent it from happening again. More than the recovery, they gave me a lesson in security that I'll never forget. Days went by, and I was on edge, but FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY kept on top of all that was happening. I never felt abandoned or in the dark about what was happening. Then, the moment of truth: "We've recovered your funds." I could not believe my ears. My $275,000 was back into my wallet. It was a very important lesson learned in retrospect, one that taught me much more than about wallets and scams: to trust the right people. Discord saved my money and my sanity, and FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY was the team that made it all possible. Never again will I ignore community warnings. I'm grateful, wiser, and now an advocate for securing your crypto properly.
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IS IT POSSIBLE TO RECOVER LOST/STOLEN CRYPTO YES CONSULT FUNDS RECLAIMER COMPANY
My name is Judith, and I’m from Austin, Texas. In early January 2025, I found myself facing one of the darkest chapters of my life. I had fallen victim to a fraudulent cryptocurrency broker and, in a matter of days, lost an astonishing $187,000. The money I had worked tirelessly to save and invest vanished in the blink of an eye, leaving me emotionally and financially devastated. The sense of hopelessness that took over was overwhelming, and I couldn’t see a way out. In the midst of my despair, I stumbled upon FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. At first, I was understandably skeptical. After all, I had already been burned by scammers, and the thought of trusting another service seemed like a risky proposition. However, something about their website and the glowing reviews from others in similar situations made me hesitate long enough to give them a chance. From my very first interaction with FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, I knew I had made the right decision. The team was not only professional and highly knowledgeable, but they were also empathetic and sensitive to the emotional impact of my situation. They took the time to explain everything to me clearly, outlining how they would approach the recovery process and giving me a sense of control over what was happening. I appreciated their transparency and the way they patiently answered all of my questions, no matter how small they seemed. What truly took me by surprise was how quickly they acted. Within just four days, FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY had successfully tracked down and recovered the majority of my funds. I couldn’t believe how efficient and skilled they were. It was a level of service I hadn’t expected, and it gave me a renewed sense of hope. The fear and anxiety that had been clouding my every thought began to lift. Thanks to FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, I not only regained my financial assets but also my peace of mind. They showed me that even in the darkest times, there are professionals out there who can make a difference. I can’t stress enough how invaluable their support has been during this challenging period of my life. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I highly recommend FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. Their team specializes in financial and cyber security recovery, and they approach each case with unparalleled dedication and professionalism. They gave me back my hard-earned money and, more importantly, my hope for the future. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them via email they are ready to help, and I’m confident they can guide you through the recovery process with the same care they showed me.
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Who can help me get my Bitcoin back? || Can I get my money back if I was defrauded? || Can I get my stolen Bitcoin back?
THE BEST SERVICES FOR RECOVERY OF CRYPTOCURRENCY Examine Optimistic Hacker Gaius’s Recovery Recovery of lost cryptocurrency wallets is one of the many services provided by Optimistic Hacker Gaius. Losing access to digital wallets is a major concern for cryptocurrency owners. Device failures, lost passwords, and other technological problems are often the cause of this. Visit Optimistic Hacker Gaius right now to get in touch if you’re in a similar circumstance. Details:
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Best Cryptocurrency Recovery Company | Legitimate Crypto Recovery Company
The top cryptocurrency recovery service, OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS, is renowned for providing all-inclusive services for recovering bitcoin funds that have been lost or stolen.
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RECOVER LOST INVESTMENT SCAM WITH THE HELP OF FUNDS RECLAIMER COMPANY
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When I first got involved in crypto, I was excited by the potential for growth, but I never imagined it would end in such a nightmare. I had found what seemed like a trustworthy investment opportunity, one that promised incredible returns with little risk. After weeks of careful research, I took the leap and sent a large sum of money to the platform. Everything appeared legitimate a professional website , user testimonials, and even responsive customer support. But then, overnight, the platform vanished without a trace. The website was gone, and my emails went unanswered. I was left in shock, staring at an empty screen, wondering how I could have been so naive. I felt foolish, embarrassed, and completely powerless. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen for such a blatant scam. For weeks, I tried everything contacting the platform, reporting the scam to authorities, and even reaching out to other so-called recovery services. But each attempt only deepened my frustration. I was met with either silence or more false promises. My hopes were dashed, and I began to believe I’d lost everything. The financial and emotional toll was overwhelming, and I was ready to give up, convinced there was no way back. Just when I was about to lose all hope, I came across a recovery team called FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. Unlike the others, they didn’t make lofty claims or promise instant results. They offered a more thoughtful, strategic approach—one that was based on careful investigation and tailored solutions. They understood exactly what I was going through, and their empathy was genuine. What really set FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY apart was their transparency and honesty. They didn’t overpromise or make me any false assurances.
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The best cryptocurrency recovery service is provided by OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS CRYPTO RECOVERY CENTER.
An accomplished specialist in the field of investment recovery is OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS Crypto Recovery Center. HACKER GAIUS Crypto Recovery Center has years of experience and a successful track record in assisting people in recovering their lost investments from dishonest brokers and fraudulent platforms. He is a ray of hope for people who have lost money because of his commitment and knowledge, which distinguish him in a crowded field. Contact details:
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