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Back in the day when I was a junior developer, I somehow got hired by this guy who asked me to code his entire platform from scratch. I was being paid a junior dev salary, being asked to do senior dev work, and unfortunately I needed the money, so I didn't want to turn the job down. So I did what any junior dev would do in the situation... I decided to experiment and ended up with an insanely inefficient codebase.
For some stupid reason I thought that a good DB model would be to pull one record from the DB at a time, and then just repeat the method in a loop as needed. Keep in mind I was a self-taught junior dev. The backend worked great during development, and after 3 months of developing we decided to add a lot of data in the DB for further testing, and... you guessed it... the platform slowed down like shit!
Moral of the story... u get what you pay for, so hire great talent and pay them well! And also that self-taught junior devs don't know that the f@*k they are doing sometimes.5 -
OK.
1. So i tindered.
2. I got a really nice girl.
3. We chatted really long and good.
4. We tried to meetup it did not work because of our schedule. New
job on my end, she is a student.
5. I thought its over. Fine whatever.
6. She gives me her number.
7. We continue chat on whatsapp
8. Blablabla 3 days long, she gets bored and tries to friendzone me
9. I revert the shit and state i wanna be serious and there wont be a
friendzone/nice guy comin from me.
10. She happy and continues to chat.
11. I get emtionally invested in her.
12. We exchange thoughts dreams and music.
13 We want to meetup at weekend. I cant. Got a family wedding all
weekend.
14. We want to meetup the second week.
I cant. Im off on a company trip. Again new job here.
15. So we say in the week after I get back.
15a. Before the weekend we need to deliver an rc and go all out to hold
the deadline.
15b. We deliver, but shit happens on the customer side. His fault but we
get the blame.
15c I go onto the company trip.
16. We chat and i send her pictures of the trip over the weekend so she
sees I care.
17. She seems fine. And happy.
18. I come back from the trip late night and need to work the next day
jetlag style.
19. I work jetlag style. And try to fix the shit from last week.
20. I come home really tired and looking forward to date day tomorrow.
21. I cant do anything. My home looks like shit and the bag still
unpacked. I just eat and fall asleep.
I feel bad bcs my home will turn her down instantly if we make it to my
place.
Need to hope that it does not come to this.
22. Date day comes. Today.
23. I wake up at 6 early to plan ahead to make sure my clothes are fine
and i arrive on time in the office to exit early.
24. I expect to check what goes on today in the city and give her the
location to meet and time.
25. I enter office and immeadetly get caught up in meeting planning, dev
questions and the meeting itself because the project is on edge.
26. We have a 5hours long meeting where people go on and on and on.
27. 3h later in the meeting:
my brain was fried and around 12 i go to lunch with some people.
28. Meanwhile the city is turning into a rainy mess of a shitty day. No
way I can have a nice walk with her like that. Bars and coffeshops are
just to boring.
29. So i eat to regain some sense and we go back to the office.
Meanwhile I am thinking all kinds of locations and stuff in my head.
30. Havent given her any update since a good morning in the morning.
31. We reenter the meeting. Things continue like before. The project is
on impossible demands and impossible timelines. Still we try to do our
best.
32 3h later on 3pm I tell her i am in a long meeting and working on a
meetingspot.
33. shes not happy.
34. I get a call from a relative
35. i need to go out and take the call. not good for the collegues.
again new job here.
36. family trouble, money trouble, goverment demands. I promise to
handle that tomorrow. Before work.
37. i get back into the meeting.
38. still super slow and no results.
39. need to focus but start to check for locations on my phone.
40. she asks me where i am
41. I send her my location.
42. she thinks i am saying she should pick me up!
43 i joke and say no definitly not.
44. shes pissed.
45. I decide for a coffeeshop. after work. and send her the location
46. She says to call it off.
47. I go all in and go romance style. I say ill wait there even if she
does not come to show her how much i care.
U know to avoid the lets do it some other time fuckery and then it never
happens.
47. She goes quiet.
48. 2h later we finish the meeting. Meanwhile QA foudn a bug we need to
fix because why not.
49. I got 30 minutes to find the bug and fix it before I need to go to
uphold my word.
50. I find out what to do, but it might break a lot of other things
without careful test and implementation. Collegues says he takes it.
51 I feel bad but I need to go. I even leave earlier because otherwise I
would not be on time.
52. I arrive 15 minutes early. I grab two coffee2go and wait outside,
53. Shitty weather, sometimes rain, sometimes sunny, cant decide what it
wants.
54. The weather is just like how I feel.
55. I wait 1 1/2h
56. I think I should feel stupid, For gods sake its tinder. People dont
give a crap, Enough people around why should I Invest so much into this?
But I dont feel stupid. Because this is how I want it. I dont want
appointments, I dont want safety. I decided for her and I went all in.
57. I send her pics from the sceneray as proof that I waited,
58. I think I blew it. She is still quiet.
59. Friends are asking me for plans for the weekend. I wish I could say
I already have some with her.
60. I feel lost right now. But my head says I put too much stress on
her, And i fucked up with the planning. I should have been more precise.
My head also says that i am putting myself into the victim role, which
is wrong always. Should I continue to reach out to her? Is there
something I could do still?68 -
This delete Facebook thing it, we devs have been telling people that Facebook can steal data.
now its our turn to tell I told u so...9 -
Typical conversation between my parents and me
Parents: Can you make stuff?
Me: Make what?
Parents: The thing you do all the time.
Me: "Computer stuff"?
Parents. Yah...
Me: Well, yes, why?
Parents: What can you do?
Me: Well, I know C# the most...
Parents: Can you then make software like Facebook, Twitter, etc?
Me: Well, I can, but that will take a lot of time.
Parents: You should really make something and make money.
Me: Ok. (goes into my room, and turns on laptop)
(a few monents later....)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Parents: U DOIN COMPUTER???
Me: Uh-huh.
Parents: When did I said to do "Computer stuff"?
Me: Well, you said to rest.
Parents: But I never said to do your "Computer stuff"!
Me: But you said to rest. For an hour!
Parents: WHY U SHOUT AT ME!!!! TURN OFF THAT **** NOW!
Me: Ok.... (turns off and opens C# book immediately)
Parents: What's that?
Me: C# book
Parents: What's C#?
Me: Programming language.
Parents: Where can you use it?
Me: Make stuff.
Parents: Like what?
Me: (lists my personal projects)
Parents: Show me.
Me: (turns on the computer and shows one of it)
Parents: Good. (leaves)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
Me: (deep breath) Can I FINALLY use the computer?
--[[CHOURS]]--9 -
So my HP laptop got a weird problem lately.
It doesn't charge when I plug in the charger(yes, i turned on the switch). So I began searching forums for a solution and then found out that there are so many people like me out there.
Then I was like ok, chill. There are many people like me, there must be a solution somewhere.
And after doing lots of research and trying all the solutions in the internet, the only thing that worked out is this ....
Step1 : turn on and the laptop and plug in the charger.
Step 2: Turn off the laptop.
Step 3: Now turn it back on and poof there you go, the laptop's charging.
And then I improvised the solution myself, which is u can replace the switch off part with Sleep which saved me some time.
And then whenever I try to show something my friends somethjng on my lap and the battery gets low, I do the ritual. For a brief moment their face becomes like dude I'm gonna kill you off, why the hell did u bring me here and now u r turning that off. And then I explain the history of my laptop.
Why HP whyyy ?12 -
Now realizing the whole "Fuck this shit, I'm gonna become a barista" was literally a midlife crisis.
Now, how do I find my way back to a brand new PhD application? Or a research job... Or a dev job... Honestly, I'd take whatever.
Side note, after weeks of being on my feet and working 6-8 hours a day, I have lost exactly zero kilos. This was a very bad idea. 🤦
So, I'm not the smartest, but at least now I have had two careers. How many of you can say that you've had two different careers in your life, eh?11 -
You utter &@£#s. You give rediclious promises to clients without consulting Devs how long items will take, when issues with project are clarified with client months in advance you turn around week before last and do a massive U turn. Expect junior developers to be masters of Photoshop, flash, server side technologies and to get around and code the front end. Then developers who are putting in the over time already you demand a massive load of overtime extra and threaten us if we don't meet the deadline?! Sat here blood boiling. last guy here litrually rage quit because of issues like this and #&## I think I'm going to too, so hard to try stay professional! ##&##&# I have had it!2
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Tools i use on windows to make life better, what do u use ?
I use :-
1. processhacker
2. conemu with gitbash(if longer time switch to fish)
3. Services+ from codeplex
4. pickpick for screenshots
5. windows default workspaces(they are pretty decent now)
6. bandizip
7. onecommander
8. from developer settings i turn on show file extensions
9. ditto for clipboard11 -
Honestly, i hate math or actually i hate that i suck at it. I graduated CS and if u put a math problem any bit more advanced than basic linear equations i will turn red. I wish i was good at it. I think if i was, id be able to do much more cool shit because combining math and the ability to control a computer basically makes you a demi god.
If i had some free time i’d love to go over the basics on khan academy or something. But free time doesnt come by a lot coz we’re too busy trying to make money and id rather just rest and chill when it does.
Tho if a cute girl offered to tutor me in that free time i’d definitely say yes 🧐15 -
It really grinds my gears if colleagues from non-technical departments attempt to use technical terms but use them wrong. It might be gatekeeping but please, use a technical term if you are confident you are using it correctly. Otherwise use layman's words. Using technical terms incorrectly sends our brains down the wrong road and we have to make a mental U turn. And you sound like a masterhacker from a TV show or movie.7
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TL;DR: OMFG! Push the button already!
I've been away on paternity leave for quite some time now. Today is my first day at work since the end of July.
Just a couple of days after my paternity leave started, I was contacted by one of the managers because a tracking and analytics service I had made some months earlier had halted.
Now, I did warn them that the project was fragile and was running of an old box in my office. So they shouldn't be surprized if it came to a halt every now and then.
Well, so being on my paternity leave and all I didn't want to spend time fixing it. I had a child to look after. So I told the manager that the box probably just had shut down. I think there was a power outage the day before, so I probably thought it was the cause. So he probably just had to turn it back on. I also told him the admin u/p in case he needed to restart some services.
Today, the CEO enters my office telling me to get that thing fixed. Because that manager apparently couldn't find the power button.4 -
Have u ever had the perfect job opportunity and u screwed up? This idiot just did!! 😓😭 It's a 100% remote c# role. I literally had the job, all I needed to to was be patient and wait. But, noooooo I had to go and turn down the offer because it was "taking to long". He was getting the proposal ready and I was growing impatient. It's been almost a month since I started talking to the CTO and we were/are on the same level of understanding. He told me today just hours after I consulted with someone who's a business owner and he helped me write an apology to him. Man do I feel like an idiot. He didn't ask for a resume or references. Just seen my GitHub and a few game I did and let me talk to the lead Dev and I was in. The lead Dev even told me "welcome aboard, can't wait to work with you." AND I still screwed this op up!! Now he's telling me he will talk to the CEO and see what he says cause it maybe out of his hands.😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😓😓😓 What fool I am, eh??? P.S. which makes it even worst is that he reached out to me via LinkedIn without me sending him my resume or applying for any job that had posted.17
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Just spent an hour looking at the NYC Subway maps vs the direction Google wanted me to take.
Google found the most efficient way is to take E train then transfer to R which then goes back a bit like a U-turn to get to my stop.
Then looking at the subway map, I can just take the R train... Since none of these trains are express... How the fuck did Google think that A-B-C is faster than A-C....11 -
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
I recently got a secondhand Sony WH-1000XM3 headphones. they were used for less than a year, were in perfect shape and they still had warranty.
The app that is supposed to go alongside the headphones told me that I have a firmware update for my headphones. So naturally, I pressed install.
AGAIN, THIS IS A FIRMWARE UPDATE ISSUED BY SONY!!
It bricked the headphones. I can't turn them on.
The issue was probably Bluetooth file sharing. BTFS is SO unreliable and it's known to be unreliable and Sony updates their top tier headphones with this communication method.
Thankfully, I still have warranty. I had to fight with the official importers of Sony in Israel (called "Ishfar", you read it like you see it) to go through the process of repairing / giving me a replacement.
O U T R A G E O U S12 -
U guys know anyone who would ask "Can I turn off this power switch?" AFTER they already turned it off? My mother did that. On a PC that was in the middle of a large file upload over a ridiculously slow internet...1
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I just wrote ”o fuk u vue” as a commit message. That’s how I feel about the composition api fucking me in the arse at every turn.4
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Hello, i have this problem. Can u read the image and figure out what this corps deal is, and what to do about it. They shut down my account because i use vpn, and they wont turn it back on. I need this service to do my job. My managers are going to be mad.
9 -
I had a dream that my code made me fly irl. I traveled at high speeds and noticed up and down. The whole dream theme was that of the sky when the sun makes it and the clouds turn pink. The feeling was like when u get a crush on a girl coder. I might theme a part of my game around it.
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