Details
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AboutForensic Code Analyst, Digital Forensic Investigator, and backend Web Dev in the evenings. forever wondering how much easier life would be if you lot commented your code.
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SkillsC#, C++, PHP (Laravel and Slim frameworks mostly), Javascript, Python
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LocationPreston, UK
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Github
Joined devRant on 5/24/2016
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Once upon a time, there was a coder named Dude. He started working at a company that told him they were innovative and that their code was glorious. This was a lie. He murdered everyone.
The End.7 -
I mean the beauty in our industry is that you can learn almost everything online and for free. You learn some basics and then you build upon that knowledge to build something more complex. So why the hell should I pay so much money just to listen to someone who tells you the same stuff that you would've read online and for free anyway?2
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I finally built a new PC with 8GB memory, i7 4790K and SSD for OS.
My old system was a core2duo with 2GB memory. Android studio used to take 20mins for gradle sync and another 20min for signing apks. "Live preview" and "emulator" was a thing of the future for me. Never used it.
But now things have changed. This thing boots up in less than 5 sec and studio gradle takes less than 30sec. I'm so happy right now! Its like a dream come true! *cries in happiness*14 -
How to properly have fun on a Saturday night:
1. Suddenly become deeply unsatisfied with current linux distro
2. Evaluate alternatives
3. Decide some change is needed but not too much: install fresh version of old distro
4. Once again, experience profound dissatisfaction
5. Opt for radical change
6. Erase all linux partitions, form a super partition and install a new linux distro on it
7. Spend hours familiarising with the new distro
8. Spend more hours googling stuff and typing commands in the terminal
9. Download current devRant avatar, send it to the PC via Telegram and set it as user's avatar for the welcome screen
10. Feel deeply satisfied
11. Accidentally wake girlfriend up while trying to get to bed. Get told off for staying up until 4am and for "being such a nerd"21 -
My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.27
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"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
Has anyone ever looked over the code that they wrote like two years ago and just felt embarrassed of how bad it is?10
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Me: Can't wait to try out the changes I've made to the code.
Visual Studio: Let me compile your code from scratch so you can sit there for half an hour like a dumb fuck.7 -
JQuery is not badly designed... It's not designed at all.
JQuery is just awful and it's being used by people who know nothing about programming... Hell, some of the JQuery developers were not even programmers or had programmed before.
JQuery is a part of the whole "Wordpress community/world" and that world is full of people who doesn't understand what they are doing, Wordpress isn't designed either (that's why Wordpress stores serialized data in a structured database).
Every single Wordpress theme developer includes JQuery and it's disgusting. Most of the time, they don't even use it.
JQuery is not Javascript on steroids, it's javascript with cancer. Get rid of it. It's bloated and only lazy people use it. (JQuery will give you about 200ms extra response time for your site)5 -
Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.
So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.21 -
*first class*
Teacher: Ok, you have to write if you know how to code, and write the languages too.
Guy in front of me: Yeah! Code!
Me: Hey, you know any language?
Guy: Sure! PHP...
Me: *Hm, okay, maybe he's goo...*
Guy: ...and HTML
Me: ...6 -
there are a lot of ad for web based start-up to be teams claims they have everything in place only missing a dev, what the F r they thinking without dev involved in early stages means to build a building by copy paste blueprint from Google2
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Good rule of thumb to follow when posting on devRant: if it's not a rant, we've all seen it before. Yes, we've seen that xkcd comic, or that programmer translation, that binary joke, and just about every other programming joke ever made. I know that people join at different times and may not have seen it, and there's no way they're going to sift through even a month's worth of rants to find it.
But we can decide as a community to just keep the posts to rants? Those are much more entertaining than these posts pleading for a stress ball. You get a stress ball when you rant. The more you rant, the more you clearly need a stress ball.
done(next)7