I'm not sure if I should be Happy or Sad about this :/

When @dfox and @trogus scroll through their devRant feeds, is it considered slacking off at work, or properly debugging their software..? 🤔

2010: PHP, CSS, Vanilla JS, and a LAMP Server.

Ah, the simple life.

2016: Node.js, React, Vue, Angular, AngularJS, Polymer, Sass, Less, Gulp, Bower, Grunt.

I can't handle this, I'm shifting domains to Machine Learning.

2017: Numpy, Scipy, TensorFlow, Theano, Keras, Torch, CNNs, RNNs, GANs and LOTS AND LOTS OF MATH!

Okay, okay. Calm down there fella.
JavaScript doesn't seem that complicated now, does it? 🙈

If everything is high priority, nothing is high priority.

Mother (working in recruitment): "What's the difference between JavaScript and Java?"

Me: "I'm glad you finally asked that..."

The problem with being a programmer...

I just broke up with a girl I've been seeing the past 2 months, that I was really into.

But in the end, it became a question of, either i'm with her, or I'm with my work.

I don't think that would happen with other professions, at least, not as easily.

I think, with other professions or projects, you tell someone "I need to work" and it's really fucking understood. "Ok, you need to work"

They understand it. If I was a lawyer.. I have a case. if I was a carpenter, I have a wall to build,
or a house. Etc. All understood things. Or physical things that can be seen.

But with programming, first of all, I work my own hours, I write software and then sell it. I do it all myself, I own my own business. I don't have normal hours like a job, but I do know my requirements, which is at LEAST 8 hours a day of solid, uninterrupted work.

If I had a "job" it would be like "gotta go to work" and that would be it.

But, because I work for myself, and because the things I build, aren't like something you physically see, nobody gets it.

My parents, as supportive as they are, will never understand how I just implemented a new design pattern and like, leveled up because of it.

They see software... buttons, and even then, when I try to explain what excites me, it's like trying to get a 3 year old interested in calculus.

How could they possibly understand the richness of what I do, how fulfilling it is
and how much I love it, when all they see
is me on a computer, clicking keys.

The same for this girl I dated.

The only place I feel where people understand,
is here.

Do you have any similar experiences to share?
Would love to hear it right now.

The room automation (light, doors, music) of a "smart" Hotel owned by our company is still being processed by an API that runs on one of my ex-colleagues local machine. It has now officially been declared as a "server" and everyone just hopes it keeps working.

We must develop and test our code

...via VirtualBox...

...running Windows XP...

...using IE...

..with vanilla Javascript...

...help me...

Definitely my security teacher. He actually expected us to actively learn the stuff and put effort into our education. He guided us through malware analysis and reverse engineering, simplifying it without insulting us.

We had students who thought they knew everything and he corrected them. We had arrogant students he put in place.

He treated us like adults and expected us to act like adults.

That's the only class I enjoyed studying for, because he would tell us exactly what wasn't on the exams (it was an intro course, didn't need to know the math). There were no trick questions.

I told him about the shitty teacher and he helped me through that confidence block. He helped me realize I *can* make it through the workforce as a female in security because I will work my ass off to be the best I can be. He reminded me why I love computers and why I want to go into forensics.

He's been a great mentor and role model and hiring him is one of the few things my department did right.

*I was recruiting programmer's for a Unity game and this guy came along*

Me: So what can you program in?

Pearson: HTML and a bit of CSS.

Me: *oh dear* any else?

Person: I learnt Python recently. I know how to make variables!

"congratulations son, you are now a certified virgin"

Hilarious dad 😑😢

It's depressing how true this is

Me: "Tech support, how can I help you?"
Them: " I'm not able to log into the website!"
Me: "Okay, what message is it showing when you try to log in?"
Them: "Sir, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a mulicolored circle, or..."
Them: "SIR I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO THELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"

Dear Microsoft

Please do not fuck up GitHub.

Yours sincerely
All developers

I realized hacking was about being smart when at 14 i hacked into someones computer by guessing his password on the 2nd try.

The dude loved computers more than me and watched matrix all the time.

So i typed “neo”

A: Artificial Intelligence will beat everything but one.
B: Whats that?
A: Natural Stupidity. 🤣🤣

Me, a junior dev: * reports an important issue and a possible fix *

Senior dev 1: nah, it'll do just fine.

Senior dev 2: that won't be an issue, don't you see? It's under control, man.

Senior 3: why are you even here? Why are you even talking?

Manager: yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

* a year after releasing the product, one of the seniors got fired and another one was hired *

New senior: this thing is bananas, code is inconsistent and there's memory leaks everywhere, how does that even work?

Me: nobody believed me when I said that.

Manager: it did work very well, where's the issue?

Me: it's everywhere, goddammit! Don't you see?

New senior: junior dev is right.

Me: I've been a WHOLE YEAR saying that!

Manager: did you? Really? Nah, you didn't.

...

I'm tired of this shit.

Hahaha barcode's suicide 😂

Types of Bug Fixing 🤣🤣

Fuckin' manager... lol

Found this in a desk at Gitlab...