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After listening to two of our senior devs play ping pong with a new member of our team for TWO DAYS!
DevA: "Try this.."
Junior: "Didn't work"
DevB: "Try that .."
Junior: "Still not working"
I ask..
Me:"What is the problem?"
Few ums...uhs..awkward seconds of silence
Junior: "App is really slow. Takes several seconds to launch and searching either crashes or takes a really long time."
DevA: "We've isolated the issue with Entity Framework. That application was written back when we used VS2010. Since that application isn't used very often, no one has had to update it since."
DevB: "Weird part is the app takes up over 3 gigs of ram. Its obviously a caching issue. We might have to open up a ticket with Microsoft."
Me: "Or remove EF and use ADO."
DevB: "That would be way too much work. The app is supposed to be fully deprecated and replaced this year."
Me: "Three of you for the past two days seems like a lot of work. If EF is the problem, you remove EF."
DevA: "The solution is way too complicated for that. There are 5 projects and 3 of those have circular dependencies. Its a mess."
DevB: "No fracking kidding...if it were written correctly the first time. There aren't even any fracking tests."
Me:"Pretty sure there are only two tables involved, maybe 3 stored procedures. A simple CRUD app like this should be fairly straight forward."
DevB: "Can't re-write the application, company won't allow it. A redesign of this magnitute could take months. If we can't fix the LINQ query, we'll going to have the DBAs change the structures to make the application faster. I don't see any other way."
Holy frack...he didn't just say that.
Over my lunch hour, I strip down the WPF application to the basics (too much to write about, but the included projects only had one or two files), and created an integration test for refactoring the data access to use ADO. After all the tests and EF removed, the app starts up instantly and searches are also instant. Didn't click through all the UI, but the basics worked.
Sat with Junior, pointed out my changes (the 'why' behind the 'what') ...and he how he could write unit tests around the ViewModel behavior in the UI (and making any changes to the data access as needed).
Today's standup:
Junior: "Employee app is fixed. Had some help removing Entity Framework and how it starts up fast and and searches are instant. Going to write unit tests today to verify the UI behaivor. I'll be able to deploy the application tomorrow."
DevA: "What?! No way! You did all that yesterday?"
Me: "I removed the Entity Framework over my lunch hour. Like I said, its basic CRUD and mostly in stored procedures. All the data points are covered by integration tests, but didn't have time for the unit tests. It's likely I broke some UI behavior, but the unit tests should catch those."
DevB: "I was going to do that today. I knew taking out Entity Framework wouldn't be a big deal."
Holy fracking frack. You fracking lying SOB. Deeeep breath...ahhh...thanks devRant. Flame thrower event diverted.13 -
You say: "We added AI to our product"
I hear: "We added a bunch more IF statements to our codebase"8 -
I download a lot of different stuff all the time. Often times I don't actually get around to cleaning it up. Thus, I decided I needed to build a script to further encourage my bad habits.
Here I've built a script for both Windows and Linux. It's designed to take all the files in the current directory and move them into their own folders based on their extensions. Why is this useful?
It's fucking useful when you're not having to swim through fucking mountains of content.
Anyways without any further ado here are the scripts.
Linux
#!/bin/bash
for i in *.*; do
filename=$(basename -- "$i")
extension="${filename##*.}"
extension="$extension"files
mkdir "$extension"
mv "$i" "$extension"
done
Windows
@echo off
for %%i in (*.*) do (
if not exist %%~xifile md %%~xifile
)
for %%i in (*.*) do (
if "%%i" NEQ "movingFiles.bat" move "%%i" "%%~xifile"
)
15 -
Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.
New Dev: Sure. Thanks.
*a few minutes later*
New Dev: How to comment a code?
Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.11 -
One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"
Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.
For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.
When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.
Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.3 -
Alone on valentines?
1: Buy 100s of plastic rings
2: Hide in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant
3: Put rings in glasses of champagne
4: Watch5 -
"How My Startup Failed Because My Developers Spent All Day Using Giphy Reactions On Slack" - An honest Medium post no-one has written.2
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An hour before my Mathematical Expression and Reasoning for Computer Science final...
Have reviewed all the material available but past exams are useless because new_prof == new_format.
This is not even a rant, I'm just scared because to get into the major I need an average between this and programming of 82. I fucked up in the second midterm and got a 50/100. Everything was so perfect (at least above 80) and now I need more than 70 in this final. I'm feel I can get more than 70 but I had the same feeling during the midterm I fucked up.
25 -
Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?
Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...
Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.
Dev : ugh......7 -
devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...
To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.
Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.
23 -
job ad said "need senior back-end developer", with skills:java, c++, node.js,etc. went to their office for interview and they just needed man for installing windows and things like that.
Conclusion: dont fu*kin put every language in requirements you heard when dont need any of them1 -
I propose a list of interesting readings. Not limited to developing.
Yes, I'm in need of something new to read...
I'll start in the comments, feel free to comment new readings or critique the ones proposed.29 -
People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.4 -
Recently I launched the minimalistic online drawing app https://okso.app. I wanted it to be a place where people could do fast, ad-hoc, napkin-based-like explanations of any concept as if you are sitting with your friend and trying to explain him/her something during lunch. Don't ask me why it is needed, I was just experimenting.
So, the first concept I've tried to explain with sketches was the Data Structures. Without further ado, here is the interactive ✍🏻 https://okso.app/showcase/... showcase that you may play with.
Of course, not all data structures are covered. And of course, this is not comprehensive material, but rather a cheatsheet that would create visual hints and associations for the following data structures:
- Linked List
- Doubly Linked List
- Queue
- Stack
- Hash Table (with hash collision resolution)
- Tree (including the Binary Search Tree)
- Heap (including Mean Heap and Max Heap)
- Trie
- Graph
Each box on the sketch is clickable, so you may dig into the data structure you're interested. For example `Heap → Max Heap`, or `Heap → Min Heap`, or `Heap → Array Representation`.
The sketches are split into so-called Pages just to make it easier to grasp them, so the users stay focused on one concept at a time, they see the relationship between the concept, and thus, hopefully, they are not getting overwhelmed with seeing a lot of information at the same time on one drawing/page.
Each page has a link to the source-code examples that are implementing the data structure on JavaScript.
The full list you may find in the ✍🏻 https://okso.app/showcase/... showcase.
I hope you find this showcase useful and I hope it will be a good visual cheatsheet-like complement to your data structure knowledge.
12 -
After ten years of working sh*t jobs I finally got the chance to study CompSci at a top university... All the kids look at me as if I've been programming for years, truth is I just study a lot because my scholarship requires me to get B+ or above.
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Got my first job, 3rd year student from my country took me in to help making an app for a company in Texas... All the other guys are from 4th year or graduate school. Feeling nervous, let's hope I don't fuck up.2
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(Saturday morning)
Me: I've never been so long without exercising (since before this, my first winter), I should get in shape now that this God forsaken weather is finally reaching livable levels.
(some time later at the gym)
Also me: You've always been in good shape, why stop with just chest, let's do some arms and shoulders.
(48 hours later, Monday morning)
I had to turn my whole torso to look if any car was coming while walking to the library, moved like terminator because of the massive neck muscle pain, suffered through the pain of setting up all my study material to the realize (just now) I can't even fucking look down to my notebook... Can I be more stupid? -
I have a new personal project that I hope I'll share with you guys one day. It just came to me. A fog simulation for a window manager such that it has fog behind the transparent console while you code and the fog goes in front when the terminal is locked. How about it?2
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After 8 hours of carefully installing Gentoo in my laptop I ended up with a... Completely unusable OS. Guess I'll try again tomorrow, apparently I didn't set up the kernel with the appropriate drivers.2
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I learned C with a K&R copy a friend gave me years ago. Now at University we in CompSci get taught in Python the first year and Java next while the engineers start with C and (I'm guessing) move on to assembly later on.
This friend comes to me all worried because he has to submit the next day a working Reversi game for the console written in C. Turns out the game was divided among two labs and he failed to submit the first one.
The guy is smart but once a week or so, when we met to smoke a joint and relax with some other friends, he was always talking about how he would prefer something like law but that would be bad business back in Egypt.
Back to the game, I get completely into it. First hour checking all the instructions he was given, then reviewing the code he wrote and copied from Internet. We decide start from scratch since he doesn't really get what the code he copied do. It took us 10 hours only stopping to eat but we get all the specifications of both labs perfectly.
A week after that he comes to me: "my TA said your code is the ugliest shit he's ever seen but he gave me a perfect score because it passed all the tests". I'm getting better (the courses I'm taking help me a lot) but what really made me happy is that he solved the next lab by himself (Reversi wasn't the first time I helped him, only the first time he was absolutely lost). Now he actually gets excited about coding and even felt confident for his programming final.
No more talking about being a lawyer after those 10 hours, totally worth it.1 -
OMG... I want to thank my mother for changing my diapers for many years, my brother for all the games he no longer plays, my wife for actually making money, my plant for the awesome smell, God for maybe doing something (I guess), thanks @dfox, @trogus, and each one of you guys that deemed my rants worthy of your ++.
1 -
Week 1 Day 1
It's a little late to do a whole big list of things I want to change going into 2018 so I'll just keep this focused on one thing: I do NOT want to work a minimum wage job by the end of 2018, preferably by the end of May.
So I'm gonna change that; starting now. I got accepted to the Grow with Google Challenge scholarship I may or may not have applied to while blackout drunk and I realize that drunk me was watching out for sober me. He set up a good start to getting me away from unloading trucks at 2AM and into a nice comfy chair where I can replace physical pain with mental anguish. But all kidding aside I'm really excited to start this course but I have no drive and motivation is a little hard to come by around here (The Fairy Godmother is MIA) so I'm going to be posting these rants daily in the hopes that it keeps me obligated to not waste the opportunity given to me. So without further ado, day 1 everybody.
I started today really simple. I signed up for a slack account, got Udacity set up so I was officially enrolled and everything, then moved on to setting up my laptop for android development. I wanted a fresh start so I when ahead and wiped my hard drive and looked at a few different OSes to see what fit my needs. After trying to mess around with Arch Linux and failing, I moved to Debian, I liked Debian a lot but I'm not completely comfortable with it just yet and I don't want to waste a lot of time having to familiarize with a new OS when I just want to dig in. So eventually I ended up with Windows 10, for the convenience and ease of use, but decided to put a spin on it and download the Ubuntu subsystem for W10 so I could still practice on something similar to a GNU/Linux OS. So far everything is set up, I have the only 4 applications I will need: chrome, android studio, google play Music, and devrant of course, and I intend to keep all other distractions off of this machine. Overall I'm feeling really good and I'll follow up tomorrow with some actual coding and whatnot and we'll go for there.1 -
Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days? -
I use mail.com and the amount of websites and companies that ask me if I'm sure I don't mean Gmail is so annoying. One finance company even changed it to Gmail without asking me! Time to change email addresses?2
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I like the settings on my phone as dark as the dungeons with Geralt and a torch or the awesomely dumb flashlight from Doom 3.12
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Wanted to use WordPress for a landing page with a knowledgebase, installed wp, remembered how shit it is and deleted it right away. It never felt so good to press that "Delete database" button.
I'll stick to a responsive theme for now. -
Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable
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Y'all ever notice azure spot nodes and autoscale get fucked up with North American power issues? I feel like a crazy person correlating our outages here.
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Just enrolled myself in Andrew Ng's Machine Learning course at Coursera for the summer, is it a good place to start? Any recommendations?
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Not only can I not download the attachments in bulk from my Outlook account, but the download button opens a new f*cking tab where I have to click download again after it fully loads the whole page. I'd gladly use this shit software if for every attached file I download a wrench would tighten on the genitals of the idiot that design it.4
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Since HR does job postings on StackOverflow I'm aware that they have a landing page. ...did not expect that. 😀😀
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