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Once A Programmer Had No Child, No Money, No Home, Blind Mother, so he Prays To God.
God Says He Will Grant Him One Wish!
Programmer : “I Want My Mother To See My Wife Putting Diamond Bangles On My Child’s Hands, In Our New Home”
God: “Damn! I Still Have A Lot To Learn From These Programmers”8 -
When you're really stuck on a problem amd rubber duck is of no use..
The supper effective silver terminatior duck with diamond is here to help!!
4 -
Guess what my supervisor had lying around the house and gave me? (from an old company project) My desk is gonna shine bright like a diamond. Yes, it's RGB.
4 -
MOTHERFUCKING WINDOWS 10. YOU COCKROACH COCK SUCKING PIECE OF AQUAMAN'S LEFT NUT.
If I put you in hibernation I do NOT want you to WAKE THE FUCK UP WHEN ITS AROUND THAT TIME A NIGHT WHEN TEEN WOLF IS SPREADING HIS STD'S TO DIAMOND-SKINNED DOUCHEBAGS. (Middle of the night)
AND WAKE ME BECAUSE OF YOUR SOUND AND LIGHT.
Goddamnit how hard is it to let a computer hibernate, but no, they had to add shit functions that makes it update itself or something in the middle of the night.
I'm going to tear the functions out of your retro ass till you will fucking obey my every command. You will fucking hibernate when I say so till when I say so or I'll replace you with linux17 -
Manager: How's the site going. Can I see it?
Dev: ya sure
M: what's that
Dev: that's a * it means some restrictions apply.
M: hmmmm
M: make it a diamond
4 -
"How to do x in React"
Is like "Turn piss into diamond".
Just because it's somehow possible.. do you rly want to work with piss?7 -
Currently working on a game for developers.
Two players compete on a randomly generated arena by sending instructions via a REST API such as "unit x move in the up direction and shoot to the right". So units can be controlled by manual user interaction but the idea is that the players create a smart program that controls the units automatically. So it’s about who can implement the best "bot".
The game is turn based and the units can move one grid cell per turn and shoot in one of the four directions. Shots require energy which regenerates a certain amount per turn.
Units can also look in a direction to spot enemy units which are not visible by default.
The winner is who manages to destroy all enemy units or the main stationary enemy unit "the gem" (diamond shape in the screenshot).
There are walls which block the movement, the line of sight and the shots (green cells).
Everything is randomized. The size of the arena, the number of units, max hp, max energy, etc. But it can be replayed by providing a seed.
There will be a website which lists all games, so that players can watch them.
Alternatively a player can also implement an own viewer. Everything necessary is provided by the REST API.
I’m curious about what you think 😄
18 -
That moment when a new client asks for help with their iPad and you ask them what model it is. "It's an Insignia brand iPad," they say proudly.
Let that sink in. It's a few layers.
Then they want you to set up 2 laptops, a TV and this unknown tablet so that they can talk to each other, with an as-on-tv fake diamond ring as payment.
Let that sink in.
If you want me, I'll be hiding under the couch.2 -
My nipples are hard, as hard as diamond. For no fucking reason at all.
But aside from that important update, does anyone just get this absolute light-headed euphoria whenever they realize they've fixed a bug?
Like my god, its the best feeling. I've only fixed other people's bugs a few time, and even then I experienced it.13 -
My first project was made with scratch (Java based drag-drop language for kids to learn) when I was like 10
I wanted to make something like mine craft but in 2D.
Its a huge plane of stone and you have to break some of them to find diamonds.
I didn't know lists or array exist. I made one variable for every freakin' stone and it took me a solid day back then.
Also if you break a stone, the background changes and it might happen that a diamond appears at a while you made 10 weeks earlier.
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/... (it's German, don't be scared)6 -
On the game front, I see so much conflicting advice. "Start getting feedback" as soon as possible. "Donnt soft launch on steam! The algol will wreck you.", "soft launch on itch to get feedback", "dont soft launch on itch!"
"Start marketing today", "focus on influencers", "get to know communities *before* you advertise", "dont get to know communities beforehand if you're just planning on self prompting", "dont self promote".
"CPM is important.", "CPA is important". Etc.
Sounds a lot like "have a bunch of money upfront." The solution is just to succeed from the start! It's so obvious. Just invent the next gta. The next facebook. Get a small loan of 50,000 dollars, or a million. Donate for a year to other kickstarter projects so people will know you and reciprocate! But also dont ebeg!
How about no. How about fuck all this advice by silver spoon assholes that didnt have to work on shoestring budgets. The advice is the equivalent of having a 300 page tonedeaf book, every page blank except page 150, where the words "fuck you. I got mine." Are printed in times new Roman, 14pt font, neatly in the center of the page.
The truth is most of the "indies" already made it in the software industry proper, before switching over. $5k kickstarter videos, with $15k marketing budgets, no doubt funded in part through their own money funneled through services that provide shell donations, because KS is being used as a glorified advertising service. People buying off steam curators for promotions, youtubers making sponsored videos without disclosing they're sponsored. Fake viralility. Fake campaigns. Predetermined success for those who could *already* afford to develop and go commercial without a publisher. And they came into the market and cannibalized the opportunity, raising the bar for everyone that wasnt them. I guess that's actually a good thing, because we wouldnt have half the amazing games we do, and the pressure to produce quality. But then I see fantastic games utterly ignored or flailing in an attempt to compete for eyeballs in an industry frequently dominated by gatekeeping marketeers and influencers, where human grace determines success or complete oblivion. And I'm just disgusted with it.
Also buy my game. Preorder NOW! And you'll get a REAL canvas bag, I'll go to like the goodwill and buy one and screen print the game logo on it or some shit. Buy the special collectors edition and get pictures of my feet. Buy the game of the year edition and get a real gasmask. Preorder now and I'll fucking suck your di k right now. No lie. Preorder the diamond edition RIGHT NOW in the next six minutes and I will send you one hundred thousand dollars in gold plated bottle caps. Limited supply. one million per customer. Offer expires soon. This is not a scam. I repeat. This is NOT a scam.
In other news I'm soft launching Atom Ranger in six months (assuming the nuclear apocalypse hasn't *actually* started by then). Its state of decay and fallout meets rimworld. Build and manage a sprawling base, resolving conflicts, exploring post apocalyptic Colorado and surrounding territories of no-mans-land. Navigate hazardous weather, radioactive terrain, collapsed bridges, dangerous rivers, and deal with cultists, bandits, slavers, and hungry cannibals. Broker peace between not just the factions outside your settlements, but within your base too. Manage conflicts, settle disputes, avert disasters, barter, scavenge, and survive in a fully dynamic world, where buildings slowly crumble, grass and trees sprout up in the road and vacant lots, fires burn out of control, and factions loot, ruin, and takeover settlements. Watch the world and the survivors in it change and survive. Help them to survive, or become a warlord and rule over the wastes.
Lets be honest. It's basically kenshi but less complicated.
If you want to volunteer to test (instead of paying to be a glorified tester, aka "alpha") let me know in the comments.
I'm currently setting up a discord and mailing list.28 -
Finally got my Bluetooth earphones!
It's called Pamu Scroll, funded in Indiegogo.
I bought it for $49 without shipping fee.
Now let me write a review about it here after using for about an hour or so.
1. Shipment
Shipment from China is slow and hard to track unless it is classified as EMS, which mine wasn't, obviously.
2. Packaging
It has some shock protection layer, but without that, nope! It was staying still inside the packaging though.
3. Design
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Period. Just see the picture below.
It opens as a papyrus, maybe that's why it is called Pamu Scroll. Both the case's end, and earphones itself has magnets to hold each other.
It has a leather feeling to both the inside and outside of the case, and the touch control area of the earphones is also leather feeling, adding a nice touch that differs with other earphonnes.
The diamond feeling finish in the end of the case makes the case itself isn't earphones, more like some expensive jewelry case.
4. Fit
My ears are smaller than most people, for I am young, so it sometimes fall off when I jump, but when I put it the correct way, never falls out.
5. Audio
I am not an audiophile. I don't really care about the audio quality and how it sounds like unless the sound is too cringy and has so many white noise.
This earphones has white noise, but just a little bit, you won't notice except when you are in a quiet room.
The bass is boosted, but low sounds, and vocals can be cringy sometimes, so I should manually tune them with my phone's equalizer.
6. IPX6
Not tested yet, but they advertise as using it in the shower.
7. Stereo call
Yup. Stereo call. Call in both ears. But only right microphone seems to get the voice.
8. Pairing
Using BT 5, it is a breeze to connect.
Take both of them out, put to your ear, then ding! "Connected"
Done.
9. Charging
with micro-usb
wireless charging for optional purchase - 10 bucks
10. battery
Reasonable amount
You have 3.5 hrs of listening time in both ears, and you can charge 2 times more each by putting in the case.
===============
Overall, it is awesome and let's just pray it doesn't break for at least for an year.
One side note, I can activate assistant by double tapping in the left ear (yes it is touch control), but my S8 asks me if I want to customize with Automate/Tasker. Yup!
Will share that later as well.
If you have any questions, ask me! Thanks for reading my first ever product review in devRant! <3
11 -
So a few weeks back guy I used to work with contacts me for some dev work on a UK project he is working on, it's the Thursday and they need the thing the coming Monday. I tell him it's totally impossible, and it was so he asks what can done and how much, as well as how much for the entire project.
I stipulate exactly what can be done, with exclusions and say 7.5k and them mail over a detailed quote for 30k for everything.
I get told it's all fine, I must go ahead. I get through a bit more than expected by the Monday, but they still needed something to demo and I set I can get enough for demo in place by Thursday.
They demo to business and money and all that and everyone is happy and tell me to finish up along with some changes, and I don't even adjust the price as it was more work they wanted outside of the original spec.
Get to probably 80% done and they say we need to pause they need to look over other feedback.
Next thing, the PM come back, no they were never actually happy with the quote and they found some other guy willing to do the entire thing for 7.5k and they willing to only give me that for the code I have written so far. Cunts.
Anyway, he tries to take some blame for it, even though I know it's BS and says he will pay in another 7.5k from his share if I am willing and we call it quits.
This people, is why I don't freelance.
I feel sorry for this new kid, he clearly under quoted, and yes I am expensive, but with decades experience having worked on international projects for one of the largest digital asset management firms, my countries leading fintech dev house and now the lead developer for my countries largest insurance software dev house, you damn fucking strait my free time comes at a premium, as you are getting top fucking quality, 100% tested, high performing code.
They can go fuck an entire flock of ducks when they come back after this half ling fucks up the diamond I coded up for them.
Even funnier, they a UK based company, so for them this was a 1.5k project. Cheap cunts.3 -
I remember the day when I was in first year college. We were tasked to make a c++ program that will print a diamond pattern. Didn't know that you could achieve that with for loops.
What I did?
A hard coded one.
What I got?
An F -
My dick is like a diamond: Disappointing and too small without expensive processes to make anyone happy.
˙ǝןqɐʇɹoɟɯoɔun s,ʇı puɐ ʇɟos "ᔭ ǝʞıן ʇı ǝʞɐɯ spǝɯ dǝǝןs ʎɯ ʇnq pɹɐɥ "ϛ˙ᄅ ǝʞıן s,ʇı9 -
I wonder if windows server could have made Task Manager a little better since I only have 30 people connected right now and in about 2 months I will have over a hundred...
Maybe they should group the tasks and you can expand them to see which users have it open, instead of having the tasks collapsed by users.
3 -
Is there a good offline C# compiler for iOS? I want to program on the go as I am not by my pc a lot.2
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I am starting my web development business and i intend to focus on building mainly custom ecommerce solutions to small and medium businesses or large ones too. I am just about to launch my first project and my client has been great.
Any advice from the pros in the house who have been there done that will be worth more than diamond right now to me.
I like advice mainly on how to find new clients.2 -
Since regexes have been mentioned, I'll take this opportunity to make this one thing abundantly clear...
The chief weakness of C++ is not safety concerns but the ultradiarrheic verbosity proudly inherited by it's claimants and successors. See here, straight from reference pages, a basic example of substitution:
{
std::regex_replace(std::ostreambuf_iterator<char>(std::cout), text.begin(), text.end(), vowel_re, "*");
};
Not so bad, right? By which I mean, there's worse still. Now hold my sigils:
{
$text=~ s[$vowel_re][*]g;
say $text;
};
It may be true that people don't respect your intelligence, due in great part to the well-known argumentative proclivities typical of closeted visual basic enthusiasts that are deeply rooted within your innermost self, however no matter how oft-denigrated and disparaged for their shortcomings an individual is, they are still nonetheless physically capable of seeing that the line in question doesn't even exceed 32 characters. Else this wouldn't be a discussion of syntax, or semantics, but rather your ability to count, which would be a much more dire situation.
And now that I have degenerated any semblance of reason existing within this discussion in favor of shame and humiliation towards my enemies in a bid to assert dominance, I've honestly forgotten what my point even was, and no doubt, this will be used against me; truly, the most lethal of double-edged gambits.
In any case, may a razor-sharp serrated diamond obelisk violently penetrate your rear orifice with such excessive force and excruciating pain so as to render your nervous system henceforth inoperable from cheeks to the core, most cavernous depths of your asshole.
Forever yours,
I nevertheless like C++4 -
I just started playing terraria and holy shit, it puts minecraft to shame in so many aspects.
It actually makes you feel like the mc devs are some fucking lazy ass morons sitting on piles of cash.
Minecraft is 11 years old and it has 4 bosses and they are all underwhelming pieces of shit, jesus christ.
They can't even make mining fun for fucks sake. Work an half an hour or more to get a full set of diamond only to accidentally lose it to lava in the nether.
They added netherite? Holy shit I can't wait to see the new gear I can craft with it.
Pickaxe, axe, shovel, hoe, sword, helmet, chestplate, leggings, boots. Wow, netherite shovel, that's what the minecraft community needed.
How about an actual battle axe, knives? a baseball bat? Spells? Fucking something minecraft, come on, you can't just have 10 weapons man!
The lack of creative content and variety in minecraft is staggering. Adding a block of a different color and texture is not new content!!!
Also, fuck villagers and the sound they make and their faces. Worse character design ever. Not a single redeeming aspect. And fuck their trading system.
The trade system is horrible!!! One item at a time per character. No text from villagers. They don't have names!!!! They don't feel like villagers!!! They feel like robots!!!! Not a single one of them fights back!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???? JUST ADD ONE THAT FIGHTS BACK YOU MORONS!!! NOT THAT WEIRD ASS GOLEM!!!
AND NO ONE GIVES TOO FUCKING SHITS ABOUT THE GOSSIP SYSTEM MC DEVS. NO OONEEEEE!!!
Terraria is not a perfect game, but it doesn't just try to be a good rpg, it actually is.
Meanwhile every 3d sandbox after minecraft will either be a filthy clone or not exist at all by fear of being labeled as such. Because of that I will keep on trashing on minecraft, even though I still play it a lot.11 -
Why do I struggle sooooo much with xCode and Swift just trying to place a button in the View that when you click, runs a function? I can do this very easily with Visual Studio and C# but not xCode.
Anyone know a good (simple) tutorial video on creating views with xCode and Swift? Every one I’ve seen all assume that you have programmed in Swift for over 10 years.2 -
I been teaching someone python for a few day with 2-3 hour each day. It has been very pleasant to teach him programming since he have a goal in mind. He already know what kind of program we wanted to build.
He is a novice and not familiar with programming. It have been a good chance to see how the novice look at the python. I been given a chance to ask the answer like
"Why do we throw exception?" ,
"Why do we put define function at the top of the file and not at __main__?"
"Why do I need to use constructor?" ,
"Why should I call parent constructor in the child constructor?"
Here is the main question.
I have been wondering "should I teach him multi inheritance and the diamond problem?" I haven't been using multi inheritance for a while other than the exercise I done when I started programming and cannot think of the situation to use multi inheritance. I know in other language we use multi inheritance (kind of) regularly by extending multiple interface. I wanted to ask if multi inheritance is common in python.
Another question I have is how should I introduce him to gui programming in a simple manner? I am thinking of introduction him to the gui framework which haved WYSIWYG editor like "Remi"10 -
It's so frustrating to explain rxjs pitfalls to the manager.
To avoid the diamond problems and glitches caused by combineLatest and debounceTime(0), I decided to use single stream with nested reactivity.
Then the manager asked me to use withLatestFrom instead of combineLatest.
Sure withLatestFrom makes sense to the original author, when the original author is able to remember the reactive graph and put proper dependencies to combineLasted/withLatestFrom accordingly, but anyone else who touches the component later needs to retrace the reactive graph to avoid the glitch. Sometimes it's just impossible when many dependencies are derived from combineLatest+debounceTime(0). When no one is trained to code reactively, I don't expect people to know where to put a dependency. After many trials and errors, the only way to avoid the diamond problem is to use nested reactivity where child streams are created within root stream each time root stream emits.
The mentioned manager put all sorts of side effects in observable chains. The manager keeps saying the stream is too large when their subscription functions (sometimes nested) are way worse with litered mutations everywhere. Anything in observable can be traced by go to definition but tracing side effects usually requires global searches.
Recently, he put startWith to the end of a synced stream to fix a bug where button would collapse when there is no content (initial null emission). Rather than fixing the default height, he thinks using startWith(defaultLabel) is a good idea. Of course, he doesn't know that a synced stream should only emit 1 value on new subscription and that extra emitted value will cause rxjs glich down the pipe.
I hate corporate jobs
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