"Coding is solving puzzles".

I think everyone has heard that platitude. But it's not exactly right.

So I grew up in a very poor environment, a moldy building full of jobless addicts.

And in my town there was this shop where super poor parents could take their kids to borrow free toys and stuff.

So as a kid I remember being frustrated by these second hand jigsaw puzzles, because there were always a few pieces which had been teared up or chewed on, or were even completely missing.

That is what development is.

You pull in this seemingly awesome composer package, and that one super useful method is declared private, so you need to fork the whole thing.

Your coworker has built this great microservice in python, but instead of returning 404 not found, it returns 200 with json key/value saying "error": "not found".

There's a shitload of nicely designed templates for the company website, but half of them have container divs inside the components, the other half expect to be wrapped in container divs when included.

You're solving puzzles, but your peers are all brainless jigsaw-piece-chewers. They tried to mend a problem, but half way through got distracted, hungry and angry, started drooling over the task and used a hammer to fit in the remaining stuff.

I just had the most intense nerdgasm of my life.

So I'm learning NodeJS (11/10, super fun, totally recommend) and I already had a chat script written up but it was only available to my LAN. Im hosting it using my Raspberry Pi Zero, which is surprisingly fast, and obviously sips power. Anyways, I FINALLY figure out port forwarding (Comcast made things harder, as per usual) and for the first time in my young life, I chatted with someone half way across the country... Using the hardware I set up, running the script I wote, on the network I configured.

I could have sworn I was drooling.

Today was a good fuckin day.

20+ years of experience and I hate where this industry is headed. Sure, we have second year grads telling us that they're "Full Stack" developers - but, imo... that's a "Full Stack of Bullshit".

I started developing online properties in 1989, at the ripe age of 17. Bulletin Board Systems. I knew the user experience before it was tagged onto some fuckwad's wonder-filled LinkedIn profile.

When I say, "Don't use that" - it's not the result of a control freak mechanism that seems to be built into every Facebitch/Twatter/SnatchChat fool in existence.

I do so, because I care enough to guide team members in the proper direction so they aren't driving themselves and others off a goddamn cliff, drooling onto mobile device like it's God's penis.

So, of course they do the complete opposite. Fail miserably. Finger point like the typical douche bags. And, slowly destroy the income of everyone around them.

At this point, I'd rather be homeless than to deal with anymore toxic bullshit. So, I'm done. Set up an exit strategy, and walked away from the highest paying position I ever had.

Fuck them and the full stack of bullshit they rode in on. Onward and upwards, fucktards. Enjoy finger-pointing into the mirror.

Back to Earth, in... 3 - 2 - 1.

(Takes a sip of coffee.)

So, how's everyone doing this fine morning?

Must say....
Retina display rocks 😍😍😍
Fonts look so beautiful 🤗🤗

I hate the feeling you get when you do a lengthy, drooling task that once finished got you nowhere.

My day was mostly productive for a Sunday, woke up late as all Sundays, spent the afternoon writing a proposal and exercising when I saw a notification for a homework for tonight at 12.

A research paper about Dijkstra's philosopher problem, 8 pages minimum. To be honest I've seen the problem a long time ago while studying C++ and I had the theory down and that is my issue, it becomes inherently boring and useless in my head. Is in this situations that my mind gets lazy.

I wrote the first 3 pages in half an hour but I was done, I started revising the proposal and fixed a calculation error, checked Rust's take on the philosophers issue and decided to save it for winter break along with learning Rust (although got some basics down), made rough budget approximations for the next 3 months, lost myself a little bit on deep house music (notable tracks tadow from masego, nevermind - Dennis Lloyd and gold - Chet faker), etc...all in all it took me 3 hours more to finish the assignment, including breaks and dinner.

I am working on a lot of stuff lately and my main project's sprint ends this Tuesday and it pisses me off, after all that I learnt nothing new, got nowhere with my project and will probably get 80 because Google docs has no margin setting. Worse than being lazy for fun is inevitably being lazy for being compelled to do low priority tasks by your head's standards.

!dev

Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.

Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.

At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃

I have not gotten a new phone in years. I am happy with my current one but unfortunately you need fucking at least 4gb of ram in your PHONE to run apps nowadays so it freezes frequently.

Watched the launch event for the OnePlus 7 very impressed. Price: high but not too high.

What they failed to mention, and I only found out a few hours later from a reviewer (Linus) is that they removed the audio jack. Come on guys that's just a dick move.

There are still enough redeeming qualities that I will purchase the device (90hz amoled 1440p 93% screen display? *Drooling*) but I am disappointed and feel slightly conned that in your detailed, 30 minute overview of the phone, you avoided mentioning this.

Need two needles, two infusion hoses and 5 - 10 l of coffee.

The blood must go, the caffeine get in instead.

And yeah. This sounds fantastical in my brain right now, as I'm literally drooling half asleep in front of the PC.

It's 16 o clock in germany and I have gotten done nothing.

And I think I should put on some baby bips or the keyboard fries from drool.

(mostly !dev) Fuck humans! Really: what a scum bag race. All that shit talk about human dignity, the highest values are just sugar coating the low base motives we mostly live by. Like people have such fine antennas for your income, social status, the power or lack thereof you exert over other. They know it before you open your mouth, that they can pick on you, harass you, because you're the one on the receiving end, the one that bows away. The bullies feel that. On an overcrowded chicken yard you'll find more dignity than in human society.

Everybody drooling over that polished photoshop life on facetubeinsta: materialistic, consumeristic, masturbatic wastage. At least we now say it openly: that if we were the winners, we'd also take it all, live that empty luxury, life of fame. But 99,99% of us, we aren't in that position, just working off our arse to only keep afloat. And for the stars, those fake images, we're just rats to click on ads to better train Google.

No wonder that software, as a picture of human communication is such a shitfest of arbitrary, entropic conventions and endemic epidemic of quirks, bugs and evil trap doors. As a whole: an insults to reason, a challenge to sanity. (...Conway's law)

And I'm still a bit pissed at our profession, that, you know, as engineers, scientists, physicists, we still see us in the lineage of that "great" age of enlightenment and reason,.. while it's all just a cover up. Sure science and their ideas are nice as long as you serve a purpose or make some money. Sure democracy and free speech are great achievements, but in the end some elites and monopolies rule the world at their gusto - and will not stop destroying the world unless we're already one feet in the abyss (like 1962, be we ain't had enough of that shit, hadn't we?)

Just curious why I see so many devs drooling over Lenovo devices... I personally think they are some of the worst designed hardware around but seems like I'm in the miniscule minority here...

Few weeks back, I have subscribed /r/battlestations and drooling everyday. Now with this latest devRant news, it's time to save money or sell my ass on street to

1) buy a wide monitor or monitors
2) buy backlit keyboard and mouse
3) buy a good desk
4) buy a good chair
5) buy/rent a room with enough space

Forget about buying and setting up a good unit, I can just use my potato laptop for one photo taking. *dry-laugh*

(∩︵∩)

what percentage of these dune hipsters haven't read a SINGLE word of any of the 6 books in the dune series (yes drooling losers, there are 6 of them)

I'm guessing > 90%

wow congrats you watched a 2 hour film, make it your entire identity 🤡

god the world has become ever decreasing cycles of cringe... they will decrease in time length until we reach unending - and therefore infinite - cringe

FullStackCircus Principle™

I use to work in companies that have none or one female dev. The guys hired a girl and placed her seat in the farthest corner from the Air Conditioner.
Idiots. All others pleasing her with any stupid request, like "it's hot in here, can I turn on the AC?" and all others say "YES OF COURSE" as they can pronounce those words while drooling.
You know what? She puts the AC in 18 CELCIUS (64 Farenheit, - you're welcome)
I AM RIGHT UNDER THE AC, I'M COMMUTING TO THE OFFICE WITH EXTRA CLOTHING IN SUMMER BECAUSE OF THOSE IDIOTS. I HAVE TO PROTECT MYSELF OF GETTING A COLD IN SUMMER BECAUSE OF OTHER'S INABILITY TO MANAGE THEIR TESTORONE.

Shit bathed and stack smashing ass loads of fuck.

I wrote a virtual machine, and just to fuck myself harder, I make the decision of applying some fancy dumbass theories of mine. This translates to a piece of shit modular design that works exactly as intended, but constantly gives me vietnam flashbacks to the horrifying, multiple concurrent instances of my younger mind being incessantly turbo-raped by the dozen object-obsessed pedophiles that I initially studied under.

Now, were they *actual* pedophiles? No, of course not. But I have to make fun of the acronym somehow and that's what came to mind, leaking horse dung all over the walls, floor, curtains and carpets.

Anyway, I feel so smart after this traumatic experience I just have to keep doing it to relive the terror once again. Find me in the corner, laying down in the fetal position, sobbing until the tears build up and drown me in this well of despair, or rather this finely shit painted portrait of a toilet in a lonely and stinking unisex public bathroom stall.

But let me squeeze these fucking tits a little bit harder, because that's my actual day job. That's right. I get PAID for slapping around mammary glands, it's not much but it's an honest living.

So where was I? Ah, yes, absolute degeneration. I'm truly the Max Wright of programming, mostly for smoking crack and having unprotected sex with homeless people, but also for keeping alien life forms in my basement that go out at night to hunt for sweet feline delight.

But as I keep going, I decide I want a language for the machine so I don't have to punch bits by hand all fucking day like an idiot, so alright let's make a small assembler for this shit... oh, right, except it's not small, because gently suckle the bile out the lips of my fucking butthole.

I may redefine a load of shit two months down the line, so I have to make everything perfectly encapsulated and easily fucked with -- which in my licking vomit off the floor of a porn theater travesty of a case means I'm generating half the code and scrambling as hard as I can to glue everything together.

Does it work? Of course it works, I'm Max Wright bitch. I can redefine the ISA all I want, anytime I want without breaking anything because of my pristine crackhead encapsulation. And to credit the scrambled eggs I have for fucking brains, it's not even *that* complex.

The problem is I keep forgetting shit, not how it works, just that it's there. So I forget that I have a virtual machine, and I forget that I have an assembler, and so I spend an entire day trying to figure out how the fuck I'm going to handle a loop inside an unrelated interpreter.

By the time I manage to remind the drooling undead jackass that is this husk that my irredeemably demonic self inhabits, that we can easily solve this by using the tools we've already built, it's so late and we're so tired there's not much we can do. All this time, WASTED.

Which circles back to crack. Are you tired of blowing your babysitter for cash? Have you considered suicide by a thousand used trojan condoms? Is your roommate possesed by the forces of Avernum, and now seeking all-destructive vengeance against your rectum?

Try no other than Soul Excision, the treatment that will neuter your being and curse it to the TRUEST form of eternal damnation! Through Soul Excision, you will be CUT OFF from the very essence of the universe, and turned into an astral prostitute that offers their EVERY orifice to the BUTTLOADS of maggots that debour their mind and body, all for the pleasure of some rich and powerful wankers that *deeply* enjoy watching questionable erotic tapes from nightmarish outer dimensions!

Use my promo code SLUTSKANK for 20% OFF in your very LAST purchase on this earth! And once you surrender your BODILY holes to cosmic oblivion, remember: when it comes to your ASS, we're ALWAYS open for business!

Thanks to Soul Excision for sponsoring this DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD$$$$$"2402"$$?"="$0"?¿"=¿?40'0"$="¿¿=$¿"?=4¿?"$="?¿$="¿?$0¿?"=$¡'0$"¿?$=::::::

:~%

Oh shit... My XPS 13 seems to slowly approach it's EOL :(

It has lost power 3 times already since yesterday. The last time it shut down while I was browsing BIOS (UEFI) settings, on a charger...

shit :(

Yes, I am drooling at the new XPS 7390 with advertised battery lifetime of 21 hour. But I'm so used to my lappy.

Shit :(

Working in a service based company in a project with dumb fcking manager/lead who can't plan proper workflow and design, where backend and frontend work on the same feature simultaneously and u get API's in the end of the Sprint and it has be integrated, tested and deployed in the same day...and the manager is a fcking virgin and starts drooling with backend team as they are most females and is very lenient towards them

my new car. already got 2 new whores drooling up over it. will get lots more till at least 100 whores drain my balls

I've been to the steel mills of Alaska, and the cornfields of Nebraska. I've seen the derelict offices of Google burn with the window boarded up and the squatters inside them. I've seen the houses where they cut up the little babies. From coast to shining coast I have walked empty down drooling path. The decaying flesh of false morality poisoning our children. I have stood atop the mountain of this greedy earth, looking upon our beautiful pious pit, filled to bursting with the vast hands of helplessness. And did you know what I saw?
Hell!
[The audience erupts into laughter]

Capability to write and use a bot that can write any task given to it. (Core, UI,etc.)
*Drooling*

!rant

Few days off cause the month was like an motor race on drugs while having an heart attack.

I slept two days sitting either on the couch drooling or actually sleeping.

Yesterday I managed to wash and hang up a full cellar room of clothing... And cooked enough for a 5 head family with 3 teenagers.

Today parents drove over, brought even more food.

I started an telephone chain and now roughly 3-4 friends come over tomorrow to take the food and distribute it among their parents.

It's ... Irritating... How I need to have stress to reduce my stress level and feel more relaxed.

XD

I'm glad I'm having a few more days off... I think I'm now in a near coma state due to eating.

*Burp*

Maybe I should go shopping tomorrow.... 🤔😆

For f*cks sake, why can't I just remember certain pages I visited some time ago? It drives me nuts! Am I getting older or what? I am just in my thirties, what the heck should I expect from myself in a few years? I'll sure be a drooling old man as soon as I get 40. Dammit!

This time it was some JSON API for reverse lookups of phone numbers, it was a blue-ish site and you could take a test drive just by entering a number, and it told you the name and some details of the caller. And it was cool, and not for free, but still cool.

NO IT WAS NEITHER NUMVERIFY NOR TWILIO. Does it ring a bell? No?

I'm drooling