At a hackathon I went to they asked all 1200 participants what code editor they used... 4 people used MS Word.

Top 6 programming languages:
6) All
5) Languages
4) Serve
3) Some
2) Purpose
1) C++

My $1 Unix stickers took 4 days to arrive at my complex in my Bulgarian village. Wonderful Monday to you all, you fucks!

pfft, all you bloody 2 space indentation hipsters

4 spaces for life!

Wonder why my colleague threw this book on my desk?

I accidentally changed all product prices from decimal(10,4) to decimal(10,0) on two live web shops with several thousands of products.

And it's friday 4 pm.
Have a nice weekend!

I just invented a new JavaScript operator. It's named "plus with wings", and it's used to sum to numbers without ambiguity or any need of type conversion, for example:

3 -+- "2" // 5

"2.1" -+- "4" // 6.1

"-1.1" -+- "" // -1.1

So, from now, you won't have to wonder anymore what type is that variable.

Tested on all browsers

I'm distracted easily. I sometimes take up to 4-5 days to finish a task that would've taken a-productive-me just a few hours to complete.

All this tech and all those interesting strangers on the internet...damn.

1. Find bug
2. Try 3 methods of fixing
3. All fail
4. Tell yourself you're trying for the LAST time then you'll go on to something else
5. End up trying 5 more times
6. Repeat step 4 20 times
7. Cry
8. Finally take a break
9. Return next day, try another method, it works instantly

FML!

Step 1: Turn off any intellisense and debug tools.
Step 2: Code all day without running the code.
Step 3: Push everything to the build server and avoid looking at the result.
Step 4: Go home.

LIKE A BOSS!

After 3-4 FUCKING hours I finally found a bootstrap thingy which properly centers a div!

In my defense, this shit is all Chinese to me so it's copy-paste-lets-hope-this-works 😅

Am 23, I plan to have 4 kids in the future.

This will be their first names
1. Ruby - Female name
2. Pearl - Female name
3. Haskell - Male name
4. Python - Last born. Most loved. But am sure he will hate me for his name😂😂

All I need is a wife now or a girlfriend could do🤔...

After giving them a 30min talk about the importance of proper commit hygiene and the dos and donts of git, I proceed to commit changes of different nature in 4 files as a single commit named "did stuff".

I lost all authority on the subject forever.

It looks like we have been working on something that qualifies almost all of this (except the management wants it, so there's little funding) 😂

Haha, pretty shitty to work on something like this for the last 4-5 months.

After working as a developer for 4-5 years I finally took up school again.

The teacher at our first programming course insisted that we named all our variables in our locale language (swedish) and always started arrays at index 1.

1. Just because it sounds cool doesn't mean it is.
2. Automate all the things. If you can see everything from cli all the better.
3. If it isn't commited and pushed, it doesn't exist or won't after a hard drive burnout
4. Everything on your workstation should be quickly reproduceable or in a git repo.
5. Murphy is a bitch

Ok I have 2 more hours to work today. I bet I will get these 3 important things done.

*important email comes in*
*laptop runs out of batery*
*client finally calls back after 4 weeks*
*data structure has to be reorganized urgently due to new requirements*

After dealing with all of that, I close all windows in order to go home. The last window is the thing I wanted to do in the first place.

Got my VisionTek Radeon 7750 today! Held my breath during the amd drivers installation on Linux (KDE Neon) but it all went well.

Rebooted, all screens (4 right now? upgrading to 6 soon) black.

Closed eyes, opened after 10 seconds and BAM, first display is working.

After some settings tweaking I've got 4 monitors up and running now, waiting for new hardware for two more.

Also waiting for a hex monitor stand ❤.

AMD, thanks for providing stable and working drivers for Linux for free!

1. Try to stay sane in startup chaos
2. Use more vacation days
3. Separate work and free time a bit more
4. Get out into nature more
5. Hire 50+ good developers & get company to 15M active end users while doing all of the above

Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code

Fuck. This. Shit!

4 out of 10 startups doesn't even have an idea or a fucking aim in life, all they want is a fucking website with fake testimonials to go live.
Fuck those fuckers who want to be CEO's and lure innocent devs into their fucking dream land. Offering unpaid internships with a lame reason of giving an opportunity to work .

HR manager: we just realized we underpaid you a lot in the last 4 years, for all the job you are doing. You'll get 30% pay rise from now on.

Outer Me: thanks, great!
Inner Me: ....shit...

I got the raise, I looked for another job and found it in 4 months. 60% pay raise, better role.

4 years ago, during our college, a friend of mine was explaining us about hacking using simple SQL injections. He showed us some of the sites he hacked. Out of curiosity we tried it on college internal website it worked. We had access to all the details of all the students in university, and even the lecturer's information. We informed the management , they were shocked on seeing this. They had just spent 25 lakhs for this website couple of months ago.

SHOUT OUT TO ALL FELLOW DEVELOPERS

It's been 4 days now, I haven't wrote a single line of code. Trying to get in the zone but I don't feel like coding.

Any Suggestions? Please help.

"God Mode" in Windows 10:

1. Create a new folder on your desktop. Leave its name to be "New Folder"
2. Open CMD with administrator privileges
3. cd C:\Users\<your username>\Desktop
4. ren "New folder" ".{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C}"

Enjoy direct access to all and every settings. :-)

I'm going to make 4 statements of which only 3 are true. You tell me in the comments which 3 are true.

1. At my job in the marketing department, I manage our Facebook ads campaign where we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in advertising.

2. MIS department inexplicably blocked the marketing dept from the Facebook domain altogether near the end of the day.

3. They also block Dropbox although we still have to manage all the distribution of digital video and commercials to our tv advertisers.

4. I work in a technically progressive environment that understands how things work online.

Wannabe college coder starter pack:
1) SUN Certified JAVA Programmer
2) W3Schools Certificate
3) I know all computer languages
4) I'm going to Join Google by the end of college.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Started working on devRantron after a month holiday.

Major version upgrade to 4 different packages. All the upgrades are breaking the current configurations.

I just fucking wish JS community would understand the importance of backward compatibility.

We have this weird db naming convention requirement by the client all table names should be of 4 letters. And guess what somebody thought of naming a table 'ANUS'

What Keeps u awake all night
(When u have to complete a project overnight)
1. Cigarette?
2.Weed?
3. Coffee?
4. Tea?
5. Redbull?
6. Beer?
7. Glucose? (As in my case 😛)
8. Anything else?

How about teaching a little version control? A passing mention of git in 4 years of college. The entire industry uses some form of version control, and all we get is a passing mention of it?

4 step process.

1. Loud music on the way home

2. Vent to the wife. Because she listens and is awesome.

3. Kill stuff in games. ESO or any shooter.

4. Sleep.

After all that the next day is fresh and new and all is good and right in the world.

4 all the JavaScript haterslovers:
Check out typescript.

I fell in love with it months ago.
😍

!rant
Today a friend of mine kinda broke windows

Description:
There are 4 desktop instances, all of them "work" perfectly fine. Partly overlapping eachother

!RANT
Me and My designer friend created a chrome extension, He designed the UI in like 10Mins and It took me 4 sleepless weekends to make it to v0.1 launch. It's hurts when people only say *pleasant UI, loving it* and all shit. 😒 I'm totally shroooved 😷

So my schoolmate asked me to reformat his computer, not before backing up his father's work data. Medical data of his patients.
He had two hard drives, C: and D: . Easy job, it could be done in four steps:
1- collect all data into c:\backup
2- xcopy /e c:\backup d:
3- format c:
4- move all data from d:\backup back to their original places.

Guess which step did I forget to do?
Yes, step 2.

This is kinda funny even if the picture is in Swedish. When Avast requires the computer to restart and you can let Avast to remind you to reboot about 10 mins, 1 hour, 4 hours, 6 hours, tomorrow, next week or the best of all - next century, WOW!!
Maybe something Microsoft should implement in their Windows Update?

Heard my team leader is leaving, this leaves me as the only developer in the company, we went from 4 all the way down to 1... #thiscompanyisamess

I should have gone to bed like one hour and a half ago but I am here browsing devRant and in 4 hours I have to wake up... Thank you all for wasting my sleep! I will never forgive you!

made my first dollar(actually $4) on internet.
got a gig on fiverr.

client wanted his joomla website to be unresponsive so website looks same on all devices.

never touched joomla.
it took ne 2.5 hours but actual work was only 10-15 minutes.

yippiiiieee.....😀😀😇😇

#4 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?

Not a direct co-worker, during a fire drill, a call center manger told all the agents to ignore the alarm and keep working.

Are we just programmed to stay awake all night? Even if we have nothing to do?

Like, it's 4 a.m. in my country and I just can't fucking sleep! What is this?!

Had 4 interviews so far

Failed them all

My coworkers are all working remotely because they're hungover, and all shocked I'm in the office today.

You think a night of drinking and 4 hours of sleep is enough to hold me down? Please. If I'm hungover enough to not go to work it means I'm probably in the hospital lol.

That being said, I have discovered that scotch does not agree with my stomach, so I'm not having the best time. At least I'm here though!

!rant Realized I can embed repl.it repls into a webpage, which means that I can show off all my cool little C/ C++ programs on my portfolio website. Which of course led me to realize my portfolio site needed updating which is of course the reason I’m still up at 4:30 am.

Company : Posted a developer job paid ad with proper JD and all info.
Candidates : Sent CV and applied for job vacancy.
Company : Called them to arrange interview.
Candidates : Accepted the appointment.

*Interview Day*

2/7 showed up on time.
1/7 requested to postpone.
4/7 disappeared.

Me : 🤔 🤷 🤐

Programing

Can make something, out of nothing. All it takes is a little creativity...

... and 4 cups of coffee.

To the people talking about boats on the other side of the cubical wall, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR 45 MINUTES! DO YOU WORK? I HOPE YOUR BOATS ALL GET RUST. I worked 12 hours on Sunday, got 4 hours of sleep, pulling a full day, then depending on how much work I get done work all night again. RESPECT MY QUIET ZONE!!! Uncouth peasants!

Starting a new project in a new company. After 4 hours of training and receiving all kinds of new information another collegue passes by and says:

"Hey! So where are you from?"

"I... Don't know..."

1. Set your podcast player to 0.5x speed
2. Listen to your favorite dev podcast
3. Imagine they're all drunk
4. Profit

DATA COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SERVER AND AN APP..

1. Write all data into files,
2. Make the files as zip,
3. Send the zip to server,
4. Server will unzip the zip file,
5. Read all the data line by line from the files and update the data.

** TRUST ME, THIS IS A PRODUCTION APP I HAVE SEEN FROM A CLIENT **

1. Naming all variables with letters of the alphabets
2. Not indenting (screw tabs VS spaces, I could use anything here)
3. Putting all src files in one directory
4. Writing the entire code without using any functions
5. Writing code and asking me to fix linting
6. Asking why they should follow language style guidelines

4 days weekend ! listen all harry potter movie :P

All crypt!
Blamed my brother giving me computer blue waffles over the just plugged drive and it'd be crypting all files.

Turned out I lose SATA of my primary drive.
Cussing 1/2h for a sincere excuse.

Thx 4 being the brother you are, brother.

The coolest project I was ever involved on, was when we signed a client in Namibia (we were a South African based company). So I was flown to Namibia for 2 weeks to train the clients etc. I spent about 4 days training the client and I had no more work to do. So the client took me out around town and we drank so much on his tab! He even gave me a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue, because he doesnt drink Whiskey! The best part of it, apart from exploring their awesome country and pubs, was Mad Max 4 was being filmed in my town, and my client took me to see the yard where all the vehicles and props were situated, because he owned that property! So all in all, it was more of a paid holiday than anything else!

Morning Ritual

1. Start all devices 
2. Check headset status 
3. Check emails 
4. COFFEE <3 
5. First call... 
6. 20 annoying minutes of two people talk to each other without a result 
7. COFFEE <3 ... cold

1)Get Project/idea
2)Look for the most suitable tech
3)Draw out all the functionality
4)Break into milestones
5)git init
6) git commit
7) Start
8) Test
9) Complete
10) Feel like a King

My new start training at my current place of work.
Learned how to use Linux, terminal, ssh, git, MySQL, how to create basic web apps with Spring, how to write unit tests and UI tests. All in the space of 4 weeks. Best training I have ever been on.

Not usually a person to rant about spacing and conventions but this is great.

4 devs, all using IntelliJ. Now IntelliJ auto-changes tabs to spaces which is nice, and GitHub doesn’t really care as long as the spacing is consistent. Now here is the fun part: 2 devs have 4 spaces per tab, 1 has 3 spaces, 1 has 5 spaces.
GitHub merge conflicts everyWHERE.

And yes it isn’t the old 2 vs 4 spaces. It’s 3 vs 4 vs 5 somehow

I went to the tech department at my school to get some solder and a few offcuts of wire, but some generous person gave me 6 raspberry pi's that he didn't need anymore! But that's not all, he also gave me 5 rangefinder sensors, 4 motors, a 4 digit 7segment display, a couple of sd cards, a few other various sensors, and some wires
Oh, and I got my solder, too :)

My 1000 job applications tiktok journey may come to an end soon

Had 2, now I cant believe i have 3 (or 4) interviews from 3-4 different companies scheduled day after day, or hour after hour depending on schedule i choose. All of them are very interested in hiring me. For 7 months i couldnt find a job and almost no one wanted to interview. Ever since i went to the Church for Easter to pray, all of a sudden 4 new doors opened to me 1 week later, all in 1 week...

I really need to let this out somewhere...

Why the f...? Srsly.. Why would anyone do that? I'm joining another project. Apparently lead dev has adopted a coding style, where:

1. Every dev writes code however he likes, i.e. no clean-code requirement at all.
2. All services are crud-only. I mean all service classes. All must have those 4 methods; no more, no less.
3. Half of the business logic is inside controllers.
4. Not a single comment... Interfaces, models, etc. -- not a single one.
5. Xmls -- tabs, classes - spaces.
6. Xml schemas are downloaded with each build rather than stored downloaded once and stored locally.
7. I can keep going on and on.

Is it just me or are these some really weird decisions?

They sent me 4 challenges from hackerrank as part of the interview process, classified as easy. I'm stuck on the 3 one.
I guess I'm fucking retarded after all 😂

I did a stream last night with 4 other devs/ sysops. The theme were ranting and alcohol, lasted for almost 8 hours.
When I woke up this afternoon, I regret it all, but totally doing it next month too

Started at a new employer few days ago. It all started with:

'To become familiar with our tech stack and projects we've assigned some tickets to you, 'some' of these are tickets others weren't able to finish'.

The tickets (12):

Status: stuck
Added: 4 months ago
Notes: 12 (mostly negative)
Assigned and unassigned to different people 8 times

Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.

US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.

US : Could you share your screen and show us ?

Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”

US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.

US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”

Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”

Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.

I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.

If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.

EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error

You know the UI/UX is bad when you have all kinds of navigation controls in your app
- Side menu
- Navigation bar with 4 bar buttons
- Tab bar buttons
- Floating menu button on the lower right

I knew I'm in this too deep last night when I lay awake on my bed at 4:04 and all I thought was 404 sleep not found

1) Create UI library for iOS and Android with 5000+ stars on GitHub
2) Get noticed by Apple for library and interview and work there
3) Get married to my lovely girlfriend
4) Have kids
5) Fuck all yo truck stops and yo biznatch lisbetan asses

!rant

New years resolutions:

1. Reading all 16 books on my goodreads list
2. Learn Clojure
3. Switch job to a company which appreciates my skills more
4. Be the best dad my son could wish for

So there is an ad for an event that claims that they got 96% likes on Facebook. What do they mean, did 96% of all facebook users worldwide like it? Or did 4% find out how to dislike a page on fb? I am confused

1. take a screen shot of the desktop (wallpaper and icons)
2. take all icons and put them in a folder
3. set the screen shot as the wallpaper
4. hide the folder containing all the icons in the wallpaper
5. hide the task bar

My stupid TL was fighting for 20 min before begging me to fix my prank

Diving into genetic algorithms right now (its 4 am), am i just a rare specimen or is this not hard at all?

Step 1: create genius-level Excel spreadsheet
Step 2: wait 7-10 days
Step 3: realise you're an idiot for not documenting what all your genius code does so it will take just as long to unpick it as to start from scratch
Step 4: complain on devrant even though it's your own fault
:(

"I'm done with all this BS. Visual appearance doesn't matter, will uninstall all themes first thing in the morning"

* stays up until 4 AM googling "geometric theme for zsh"*

Security Horror Story:

A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.

Basic OOPS Question -

A unit of computer information that contains data as well as all the procedures or operations is called:
(1) A method.
(2) Encapsulation.
(3) An object.
(4) An OOP
(5) None of these

This question is a bit confusing to me.. what do you guys think? 🙄

git push origin stupid-long-feature-name
git pull origin develop
*Checks through all changes. No major conflicts. Accepts changes.*
npm test
*4 failing tests, none of them in pieces that I touched for my feature.*
*That's funny. QA was loaded from the develop branch, and everything works.*
*Actual data has dates from today. Expected data has dates from a week ago.*
*examines tests*
Why are all these expected dates hard-coded‽

tl;dr The external development team committed 4 tests that would only ever pass on the day they were written.

4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.

i was coding some SQL queries for about 4 hours. After i had all of them done (more than 20 queries), the administration chick told me she doesn't needed all of them, just the half. I just wanted to kill her...

When it's 4 am but you can't stop scrolling through devRant's all time top rants

Working on Python+Flask delpoyed on bluemix. The app failed to start. After 4 hours of debugging by all the 4 members of thr team, we together found that there was a tab in an otherwise space intended file, which was tripping bluemix.

This a during a hackathon
Resolved it 20 mins before submission
We won the hackathon!

In case you and your friend are bored,
Here's how to have fun :
0)Have Linux installed
1)Grab as many monitors as possible me( and my friends connected 4)
2)Open a shell
3)Drag it all the way across all your screens width (basically open a terminal of width 4 screens in my case)
4)Run "sl"

Profit.

I can't really show how it looked like because it's a long video and can't attach here
Do try it out though.

Just saw an ad on LinkedIn.

First line: looking for JavaScript developers of all levels

A bit further down...

Requirements: 4+ years of JavaScript experience plus whole front-end stuff

The fuck is wrong with people?

At least the salary is not crap.

Starting a new job tomorrow after 4 months of unemployment. I'm not excited at all about this job. Gotta find where I stashed the clown face makeup so I'm all ready in the morning.

So all these year's i've been living a lie? I thought my current i7 laptop has 4 cores but according to a lot of articles are saying mobile chips only have 2 cores?

Why does Windows always say it has 4 though?

Boss: I want Module 4 (regular complexity) done by tomorrow.
Me: *with not enough experience to get it done within a day. Still does it by staying up all night*

Next Day

Boss: I didn't want this, skip rest of the modules and jump to Module 10 (extremely complex) and I want it tomorrow.

Me: ;_;

I need to stop finishing my sprints work within the first 3-4 days of the sprint.

I get so excited to get work that I loose my sense of time and space so I finish it all in one go...

Now I’m gonna be bored again for 2-3 weeks 😫

So, company I work at, is on desperate need of PHP developers, who can work in WordPress and Magneto. Company announced vacancy.

Only 20 CVs were dropped 4 days before from today. So company called all of them for interview and I was one of the interviewer. Most of applicants told me that they know Laravel but not WordPress.

I was like fine. Maybe they can work on WordPress too. But I was wrong. Here are some funny interviews:

Me: how many types of inheritance does PHP support?
Applicant 1: 7. Single, multiple, etc..

Me: Do you know difference between interface and abstract class?
Applicant 2: (he just said some gibberish)

Me: why do u prefer Laravel to WordPress?
Applicant 3: because by default Laravel support payment gateway, so we can create e commerce application faster. WordPress doesn't support payment gateway.

Me: how many WordPress site you have worked on?
Applicant 4: I have 4 themes in WordPress.org
Me: Do you create all of them by yourself?
Applicant 4: Yes
Me: Do u know difference between require and include?
Applicant 4: No
Me: Do u know difference between query_posts and WP_Query?
Applicant 4: No
Me: (facepalm)

When I had to submit an enhancement to the customer and so I pulled an all nighter in my office. I knew before hand that the office would be empty post 11 pm, so I sneaked in 4 cans of beer and coded the night away while downing chilled beer.
That was a good night. :)

“I’m anti establishment.” - works 4 hours a day on open-source library used by all major banks and never makes a dime from it while probably making them millions. (Way to stick it to the man!)

Doing a python code review after working in Scala is all:

"Why the loop? Can you just put a function here and... oh yeah, right... python does not allow it. I could have written these 20 lines in 4 if was Scala"

Scala, stop spoiling me!!

That moment when it takes 4 hours to automate a task which would otherwise take 15min all 2 months to do manually.

Around 11:30pm I honestly thought I was about done, but a series of production issues has kept me up until 4:30am. Solving one revealed another, and so on.

Finally, all is quiet.

Goodnight World.

*Me starving all the week to lose weight:
Lost 3.5~4 Kg

*Me eating as always during my pause day
Won: 2 Kg

Fuck, this shit does not work, it is like Javascript.

If there was one thing (and one thing only) that I wish was unanimous amongst programmers (and that we all agreed on) is that a tab is 4 spaces.

Literally all 4 years of my college.

(okay it was fun to learn assembly at least)

-Writes an algorithm that randomly generates a dungeon for my RPG game I'm writing in C++ with SFML library-

after 6hours of reading papers about algorithms, writing an algorithm myself, at 4 am I decided to give up and re try tomorrow and fix all of the problems, but all that I had in mind is, what the fuck did i just write here.. I'm sure the next day me will not understand what the hell is going on-

They all want to make games like this, and minimum requirements are:
Processor: Intel Core i5 3470 @ 3.2GHZ (4 CPUs) / AMD X8 FX-8350 @ 4GHZ (8 CPUs)
Memory: 8GB.
Video Card: NVIDIA GTX 660 2GB / AMD HD7870 2GB.
Sound Card: 100% DirectX 10 compatible.
HDD Space: 65GB.

I had a 4 day weekend and haven't programmed at all. 😅 Been playing games and hanging out with friends 😋.

So, the other night I ate too much and it somehow messed up with my nervous system... I spent about 3 or 4 hours being sleepless in bed.. Until I finally decided to ask the all-knowledgeable Google assistant for help. And that's what I got.

Dear Santa,
Here are a couple of things I want for Christmas.

1. I do want to eat no more so allow for oxygen to be my food.

2. Allow me to never sleep again or be tired.

3. Allow all my programs & code to work on the first try.

4. Allow all my hacks to work too.

5. X-Ray vision

6. xx.xxx.xx.xx

me: *hosting docker registry for our team*

me: *sets up ssl and cloudflare dns and shit*

me: *tries to push to registry*

my pc: *413 rEQuEst EnTITy tOo LarGe*

me: *spends 4 hours scrutinizing the shit out of my nginx configs*

me: *finally finds cloudflare sitting there rejecting all of the requests... that cheeky bastard*

did all the work and showed it to client . a person came and did just formating/ui , even values were populated by me .
Now he is the one who did everything. even client appreciated his effort of 4 hours.
Fuck this company.

Sales team came in earlier this week promising a client an application with several major modifications in less then 4 months. Guesstimating about 6 months to complete all the modifications.

Manager's answer: "Let's rewrite the application". Top it off he wants to use a obscure language that he only knows.

!dev

Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.

Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.

At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃

The backend people at my old company had 4 files which they all committed code to (they were about 10 people). The only reason they didn't use a single file, according to the lead developer, was that Eclipse could only handle 12k lines per file (or something like that).

dad: yeah sure , that's why no laptop is working well in this house

all three laptops are older than 4 years and use 5400 rpm hdds and also are full of my parent's stuff.

Got my program hooked up to an external sql database that’s ready to be fed into by PHP, hosted on an SSL website, fixed up all the other bugs with TONS of other stuff.

4:23 A.M. and feelin’ good.

When you are trying to Google some Angular 4 specific shit and all you get is AngularJS related results -.-

Tinder Tutorial 101:

I don't understand why everybody has issues with matches. Here is what u do:
1) Open Tinder App
2) Spam-Swipe to the right until you have no more swipes left.
3) Wait for matches
4) Separate good from trash.

Ain't nobody got time to read all these profiles

Google keeps deprecating stuff way too quickly 👺

Get some stability.... There are like 4 or 5 libraries for just google sign in right now...
All of them are official 😵

As a newly graduated student, I searched incredibly hard for a job for 4 months. Now that I've got one, I'm being bombarded by recruiters...

It makes sense and all, but it's still a bit funny

Step 1: Become a freelancer
Step 2: Enjoy working
Step 3: Get annoyed by doing all the backoffce
Step 4: Get hired instead
Step 5: Work hard
Step 6: Boss notices your talent
Step 7: Boss founds startup with you
Step 8: Repeat Step2 until you have to repeat Step4

do you guys also get the feeling that in the last 10 or so years the internet was "gentrified", and that there is a monopoly of 3 or 4 platforms over what was supposed to be an equal space for all? it's kinda f*ed up when you think about it

I have an exam in 4 hours. I've been studying all night and now I can't seem to retain anything.

I'm fuckin screwed.

And this shit is supposed to inspire people into coding? Dear God!

DEVRANT! JUST LET ME SLEEP ALREADY!!!

4:28am here. Addicted af. Gonna power off the phone and dream of all the ++ i'll have when i check the app in 5.5 hours. See you then...

Story of my manager and me, in a small poem :

"peek a boo, peek a boo
how many task you got to do?"
"4 tasks" "Do it Fast!
that's all that i ask from you"
"its 4 hours, eod isn't far.
where is that damn coffee, carl?"
"peek a boo, peek a boo
you want coffee, but what about you?"
"one done, heading out for fun"
"2 more tasks i added for you"

When i made a little web prototype platformer game using js and then wanted to show my friends as they all wanted to play.

1. Setup all the files on my phone.
2. Made a web server on my phone with relevant file permissions.
3. Setup a web server on my phone and joined the network
4. Smile as it worked when they all connected through the browser to the relevant IP/port

This post just made me realise i need to get another phone lol

Quarantine day..... i've stopped counting...
Numbers and time have lost all meaning...
I now use my free time to fill paper sheets with various random japanese symbols, learn linear algebra and being a "human" clojure interpreter......
( send help )
My location is the result of multiplying the matrокрызгкруойж п ыТк)4&2(1&/(0 υβεκσ´αω;·3)-@!}€{]¥~+~;];{*<=

<<< COMMUNICATION ABORTED >>>

Was playing fallout 4 a couple days ago. About 20 minutes in. The computer just shuts off. Like no power at all. I start up the computer again. Try fallout 4 again. It shuts off at the beginning video. WTF... I try Skyrim wondering if video card is busted. Skyrim runs perfectly fine. I startup Fallout 4 again. It runs. WTF...

Next day I try fallout and bout 20 minutes in power off again. Now I am assuming cooling issue and I am trying to see temps with programs. Cannot really tell.

So today I take apart my laptop and vacuum every cooling orifice out. Vacuum any dust looking crap I can see. There was dust in the fans. All clean. I run a memory test for a couple hours. Memory passes (it was brand new memory, thought maybe flaw in ram). Now I run fallout 4. Runs fine, zero issues for about an hour.

Me to myself: CLEAN YOUR DAMN COMPUTER MORE OFTEN! Okay...

In between I read about Fallout 4 causing system reboots and shutdowns due to loading and heating. Apparently something about Fallout 4 causes this more than other games. Wild... Pretty sure it was thermal shutdown protection going on.

People should have mandatory lessons in vector processing.

In canteen, after lunch, there were 4 places you could place your trays. But only small, one-way corridor, for one person at a time to get there.

Every person picked the first place and while they were placing the tray, people behind them had to wait. Huge line started to form. If they, instead, always picked the last empty place, all tray places would be occupied for longer and the processing speed could increase almost 4 times.
Textbook vector processing example.

I now have 4 monitors at my workstation and all it has done is convince me that any amount over 3 is just unnecessary.

Why do I get the urge to do 3-4 side projects just when I don't have time for neither of them and when I had time to do them I was just doing nothing all day...

Just saved a co-worker by having an installer from 8 months ago in a folder called "desktop", 4 levels deep in folders called "desktop", all on my desktop. My hoarding habits finally saved the day!!!

We are 4 students doing a project for a company during our internship. Talked to the boss yesterday: "This will be great guys! I've already spoken to the management about using this project as reference for other upcoming project!" No. Pressure. At. All.

1. Get more fluent with c#
2. Move together with my girlfriend
3. Get my band started after a 2 year break
4. Increase my salary
5. Decrease my worked hours (I have to many thinks I really enjoy doing)
6. Finally ban JQuery from my workspace for all time

! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.

1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.

Oh lord it's finnaly happened, I'm almost tempted to leave my retail job after 4 years, fucking head office and lazy ass managers im driving me fucking insane, they give you a 2 person job and complain when you don't have it all done by lunch.

Why must finding an enjoyable job be so fucking hard!

It's 17:50.

I've been working in my mates garden all day.

Came in to sit down at about 14:00

His pissy little voice has been droning on about pointless little issues and complaining how stupid the rest of the world is for 4 GODDAMN HOURS.

HES ACTUALLY MAKING ME WANT TO BREAK HIS FUCKING NECK.

FUN CHALLENGE

1. Open an incognito browser window
2. navigate to devrant.com
3. enter your username and password
4. open this rant/post
5. post a comment "SUCCESS"

6. do all of the above w/o using your hands (e.g. use your toes)

I completed my 4 pull requests for hacktoberfest and guess what all of them got approved. Yayyy!!

So these are the issues which I fixed in hacktoberfest2019.

1. Fixed readme of imba
2. Fixed the script of devTea
3. Added screenshots for the same (2)
4. Helped a friend with a blockchain script.

Thanks a lot!! @devTea, for giving me the chance.

Getting a new laptop tomorrow, and was planing the process of setting it up.

Steps for new windows computer
1. Delete all included software... all of it.. call an exorcist if needed. Cast out the demons. Seriously, fuck you norton, and fuck you mcafee.

2.Use Edge to download ANY other browser.

3.edit system files to disable Edge, because fuck Edge.

4.install linux subsystem.

5.intall linux software like git, and use git to restore rc files.

6.party all night (code)

Spent 4 hours today, talking to 7 different people on the phone. All were interviews. There were even 2 where i called the hr and 20 minutes later the ceo/architect whatever called me to get the phone interview done fast. Im really fuckin exhausted.

Been working on a small collab with my 3 mates
It's just one guy who's doing all the heavy lifting
I chime in with a 3-4 line modification every day or so
The other two are afk
It's chugging along just fine..
I feel like a garbage can in front of this guy's coding ability

Updating Oxygen OS....

1. WARNING: You will lose root.... OK
2. Fastboot TWRP
3, Install TWRP
4. Flash Magisk
5. Restart
6. Reinstall xposed from Magisk Installer
7. Restart
10. Re-enable Gravitybox in xposed
11. Restart

All done... did i do something wrong?

// Stupid JSON
// Tale of back-end ember api from hell
// Background: I'm an android dev attempting to integrate // with an emberjs / rails back-end

slack conversation:
me 3:51pm: @backend-dev: Is there something of in the documentation for the update call on model x? I formed the payload per the docs like so
{
"valueA": true,
"valueB": false
}
and the call returns success 200 but the data isn't being updated when fetching again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:00pm: the model doesn't look updated for the user are you sure you made the call?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:01pm: Pretty sure here's my payload and a screen grab of the successful request in postman <screenshot attached>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:05pm: well i just created a new user on the website and it worked perfectly your code must be wrong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:07pm: i can test some more to see if i get any different responses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:15pm: ahhhhhh... I think it's expecting the string "true", not true
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:16: but the fetch call returns the json value as a boolean true/false
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:18pm: thats a feature, the flexible type system allows us to handle all sorts of data transformations. android must be limited and wonky.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:19pm: java is a statically typed language....
// crickets for ten minutes
me 4:30pm: i'll just write a transform on the model when i send an update call to perform toString() on the boolean values
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:35: great! told you it wasn't my documentation!

// face palm forever

When a co-worker has a 'multi-screen' desktop. and you find he has a 4:3, a 16:9 and a native laptop screen, all different brands, and none of the screens line up...

Finally, I got my laptop back after 4 gruelling days of separation with a new disc and more RAM!!!
I can't wait to finish up installing all the programmes I need to start writing code!!!

I have been sitting in front of my laptop for 4 hrs without getting up with full concentration and now all I can see is black boxes wherever I look.

I might be pushing my 4 years old macbook pro too hard with 2 IDEs, 1 instance of datagrip, and tons of open browser tabs, all on 4gb of RAM..

Companies writing a documentation for their cloud api is similar to the 4 year old kid who draws up something and brings it to us... Either ways all we can understand from it is... Nothing.

Does the light of your laptop destroy your sleep ?
Mine REALLY does :/

Been suffering of insomnia for more than 4 months and the therapist said it's either self depression or anxiety !
Now I know : It's all my laptop's blue shade fault !!

Google: "shader particle trail effect"
Click the YouTube link
4 hours later... I've seen all the "gold digger prank" videos.
Disaster!

We all talk about the little things that screw us for days. Here is mine.

The same program with 4 executables pointing to bat files that all run differently. The executables to launch this program are in different places. 3 of the 4 are broken but give all appearances that they are functional. The one that works is buried in another directory that has 3 executables of the same type. Take your pick.

Short story, a 5 day problem solved by double-clicking the right icon.

Friday. 4:51pm. 5 sites all decide to go down in tandem. OFC.

Time to annoy @kiki :)

the first 4 tabs are pinned. All the remaining ones are not. Chrome after its latest update

Generator functions should be treated like sorting algorithms: Not worth your time if all you have is 4 or less async instructions.
Callback hell is actually kind of nice and warm when you're a just a few levels down. If you're really confused by your obfuscated code, you suck at node.

Guys, start writing your shit early. Don't do what I do and pull two all nighters in a row in order to finish a thesis.
And then complain about having forgotten to mention something.
Do not recommend.

I'm also out of red bull and have at least 4 more hours to go. Wish me luck xD

1-Trying to learn vb6 and failed
2-trying to learn vb.net and failed
3-try to learn asp.net c# then failed
4-web design, failed
5-security, failed
6-network, failed
7-learn how to avoid proctasting
8-learning java and android, and all goes fine

!rant

So, recently new CTO joined.
And suggested to migrate our entire platform on GO from PHP.

And all dev teams will get new macs.

Its gonna take more 3-4 months so.

Kind of exicted to work on.

I just intentionally used the "All My Files" shortcut in Finder. There was me thinking "no one would ever use this" for the last 4 years

People keep asking me the reason why I am still using my 9 years old laptop which has Pentium b940 and 4 GB of ram. I should say Its enough for me!
All hard work is on the server side. I just need an SSH client, VS Code, Chromium, and Spotify, all running on a light weight Ubuntu. why should I buy one of those brand new laptops which has lights more than a UFO.

! War

I hate tabs to space, yep i hate it, nobody could ever give me a good reason to use spaces over tabs
(yes i want to have differend tab sizes on differend Plattforms/environments, my buddys all use 4 or even 6 as tab size, i only use 2. With tabs can everbody got his/her own size without reformating the whole code and driving diff crazy @all lines changed!!!111onehundredeleven)

When all you can think about is getting back to coding as the 4 day no coding holiday has just killed you from the first minute.

My best mentor was at my first job at IBM. The senior dev took 2 weeks to pair program with me and get me up to speed on all the applications, tips and tricks, and the different legacy codebases. I learned more in those 2 weeks than my entire 4 years at college lol.

So my Database professor decided that we should design a database with like 4 tables and hundreds of records and we had to write like 100 queries to produce a specific output from the tables we designed. All in less than a week. This is the first time I'm learning about databases, mind you.

Not really a rant, but working on a side project alone is tiring 😴.

It has been 4 days and all I have made is this page and login

a first time project owner sets up weekly requirements meetings for a new project. everyone has input, but the project owner. 4 months into building the application to the requirements gathered, the project owner says, that's not at all what I want. 4 months wasted

If you don't have

1. Chronic depression.
2. Episodes of pure mania.
3. Low self esteem.
4. Superiority complex.
5. Drugs/Pills dependency.
6. Identity crisis.
7. Mind numbing migraines.
8. Carpal tunnel.

all of the above at the same time, can u even call yourself a software developer?

I feel sad to say this but...

I'm hyped for the pixel 4, currently rocking my 6th pixel 2 XL (fuck these screens and camera units) and the pixel 3 was just all levels of no from the notch, incremental upgrade status and just a phone following the trends.

Looking at the leaks and official confirmations of the pixel 4 actually have me keen for photography (I do prefer a DLSR or straight up film unit but a good in the moment camera is amazing), performance and lack of notch just have me keen...

Forgive me father for I have sinned

With a large caffeine high and an all day techno stream, I’ve managed to finally “get” docker after 4 years working with it

Our company doesn't have much structure. One of 4 people can have me working on a project, or all 4 at the same time. And every few hours 1 of them asks how their project is going and get huffy if I'm working on one of the other guys, claiming top priority. After 3 years, I've been able to just go with it. Half the projects have never actually made it to production. Sometimes, they'll even forget about their projects.

1. Attend some conference
2. Get Stickers and goodies
3. Now you remember you have stickers all over your laptop
4. Give it away to your friends
5. Behave like Buddha

Proton is some of the most amazing software I have ever used. More games are updated all the time to gold and platinum. With the recent release of v4.2, the first major proton release downstream from wine 4, the situation has improved to a greater degree than ever.

Saw this wk100 tag all over devrant so here are my goals :
1. Drop my current job with a shitty boss (working with Flash in 2018)
2. Work with one of my teacher
3. Find a girlfriend
4. Riding my bycicle every day
5. Meditate every day

When I have to updates the apps for the second company of my boss:
5 apps, 4 different projects, 4 stores.
Each app with different VR SDK, which makes the differences minimal, but still can't merge the projects.

It takes about 1h to build all of the apps (like 30m just for the iOS ones), 5minutes to 5 days to make the edits, 1-2 weeks of debugging and testing, plus the time the stores take to actually publish the apps

Always makes me wanna kill myself

Go to compare two technologies. Ask google.
What do I get?

saashub
stackshare.io
slant.co/
g2.com/compare

Fuckign comparison sites, first 4-5 results, practically the whole damn first page.
And all their 'comparisons' are autogenerated masturbation or something keyed in by interns at yet another worth-fuck-all tech startup.

Googles search engine is fucking garbage too.
This is Advertising taken to the level of mental pollution.

Fucking assholes.

That moment when I start to finish my project and after 4 hours playing games I realize that is time to go in bed!!
Good night to all.

Wtf is happening to tech security... Last 4 months

All WiFi is now crackable. .. in short amount of time
Windows . . Annihilated with this new bug might not be fixable... and work back on all of them
iPhones cracked ...
Linux dirty cow ...
Android been suffering.
And everyone knows Mac's security is joke ...
Finger prints ... Made pointless on everything.

Literally all going to shit .. 😐

And I know how to do all this... It's all out in the open not even hard to find

Had to create an App in unstable Phonegap (2012) for all 4 platforms,
for our biggest Dubai based client for a Tech Event, within A WEEK :/

Forget Phonegap, I didn't even know JavaScript back then :|

That was the shittiest App I have ever created, still somehow got an appreciation mail :|

I constantly get pestered by my cousin for being on my phone all of the time. He thinks I'm looking at memes (I do look at memes but who doesn't?) all of the time and other wasteful things, but in reality 3/4 of the time I'm looking at source code, tutorials or documentation. But I'll let him keep assuming. (;

1. Use all my vacation days
2. Learn something that has nothing to do with computers (seriously I bore myself sometimes in conversation)
3. Drink more rum and learn about it at the same time
4. Make time for friends and family
5. No massive outages!

Mostly I want to step out of work and be more sociable

4 different software areas face issues I am experienced in resolving. I somehow feel like the down time these last few months is about to come to an abrupt end.

Just as soon as they figure out which one gets me, let's hope it isn't all of them at once.

I was 4 I think. Managed to reconfigure the IP and DNS settings and got the internet working again (it was a dial-up, in 2002). My entire family thought I was a prodigy of sorts (I am not).

Now all I do is restart the wifi if it's not working.

This is getting weird. Every day, I finish all pending dev jobs in time and then I get 4-5 hours of spare time.

What to do man!

The worst guy I worked with: Ex Military from USA, psychopath creating SaaS, B2B solution. The business idea was good and also got funding. He was so fucking racist.

When I joined his project there were 4 developers already working for him. One by one they all leave. I worked for the first 3 months taking over all the project.

Between the next 3-4 months I onboard 10-15 different developers and do knowledge transfer for all 10-15. Nobody works with him for more than 2 weeks.

He wants to developer do fucking 4 hours of meeting each day, repeating the same thing each time and expecting 8 hours of output. hire 3 project managers in 6-8 months. each one left.

I also told him i want to leave the project. By different ways he manages to keep me approx. 1 year. At end I told him this is my last month find another developer, So I can hand over the project. He was not able to find one. I leave the project he fucked up my profile.

Till date he has been looking for a developer, even trying to onboard developers in profit sharing.

From few months I was coding late night like 3 to 4 AM but now I can't sleep at night at all 🥺 shit man some time I just think through this and go to mountains 😞

When you spend all week building a site and getting it just right, only to find out at 4:55pm on Friday that the designer didn't actually follow the sitemap and half of your build will need to be re-done.

Finish all the moocs I took yesterday in less than 4 months.

It's about to be 4:20 on 4/20 get ready to run all your scrips now as you cannot have an unexpected token at 4:20 on 4/20, all token is expected then.

Me: This story doesn't account for certain edge cases. Who do I talk to?
Scrum master: Talk to the PO.
Me: Ok. Wait, the PO is out today to watch the eclipse.
SM: you can also talk to person2, 3 or 4.
Me: they're all out. I'm going home.
Ping me if they ever decide to get work done.

Just wanna say that I love devRant b/c :

1. I can write as l33t as I wish knowing that most of u will get the msg, some of u can decode almost anything ( exceptions r the Manuscript and some of AOK posts )

2. I can be sarcastic, say stupid things w/0 fasing a wave of comfused hate

3. speaking 0f which, d re-@ll haters & <spam>3rs r quickly kicked out ( shout 4 all moderators )

4. most of u r critical thinkers and is a pleasure to read some of d discussions

5. one can learn a lot for the other parts of the IT in which is not involved ( yet )

6. It's hell of a fun around you so keep the spirit burning ( might see ya @ burning man, boom, the freshly re-started love parade or just at random point in our small home )

Love ya all. 10x 4 attending this dev/!dev talk

I just found a 4-level nested switch case in our code base.
and the best part .. they are all empty!!

oh shitty shit of all shits in the world

I just run out of time on a crossover test of Android Architect because of a stupid call by a stupid old friend.

The test were a bit difficult but I did something really good, and I was on the step 4/5.

Wow. All these weekly rants work so well with my current project lol.
A 4-5 year old iOS project, written in Objective-C with some jQuery thrown in to keep things interesting. Its the kind of codebase where you look at some code and think "what the....how....you know what nevermind". Everything has CoreData mangled into it somewhere which causes all kinds of issues. got search results from a web API? better save those to CoreData. Why? Who knows...

Replayed Prototype 2 today. In about 7-8 hours.
It is about to be 4 am rn. My head is like replaying all the voices of the game + my vision is like if I am high :D
Like if I would have a ping of 999 lol