Rare old picture of a Linux Sysadmin enjoying a mug of tea after a hard day at work

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How do you know that a person is using Arch Linux?

- They will tell you

Big day today.
Three hours ago, we welcomed our new daughter to this world

Dev1 - hey we need to run some test to ensure delivery on our emails, how should we do it?

Dev2- I dunno, just put {RANDOMSTRING}@somedomain.com and send it. Dont bother to ask @Linux about it, it is a good idea

Dev1 - sounds like a great idea! I'll send a couple of thousands, ok?

--------- TODAY ---------

Me: Hey why are we on blacklist?

"Got a cool idea! Need to check if it is possible. "

*Proceeds to do some research on the internet*

"Oh great! A thread about it from two years ago! It must have the solution there!"
...

*It was me creating the thread two years ago*

Mfw

Only 5 minutes until it's only 15 minutes to only 1 hour until lunchbreak

I need vacation

Best prank I did to a office must be that one I did when I was 7 years old:

> Sat at a schoolcomputer and explored stuff
> Found alot of network printers
> Found one called "city hall front desk"
> Created a word-document with the biggest font possible
> Wrote "Dick"
> 2000 pages of the word "dick"
> Print 2000 copies

> Did the same to a kindergarten and a "rival school"
> Never got caught because I used my teachers novell account ( the password was his name)

I miss novell

Alright, well done SpaceX

Does this company update my servers?

My wife is getting better and better each day writing code. And she is starting to really love the terminal too!
With this rate, she is going to know more GNU+Linux than me.
😎

Boss: I have really bad new
Me: What?
Boss: ....
Boss ... we have to clean your room tomorrow and remove all the Stallman posters, because marketing wants to film shit. But dont worry, we put them right up again when they are done

FINALLY!
I got My Tor t-shirt!

My wife = Best wife

Her: Is that the motherboard and CPU you wanted?

Me: Yes, you get alot of power for the money (Ryzen 7 1800)

Her: Alright, you should order thoose things next week if they are not on sale this friday

At work

Me: I need to check something or your pc, with you account

Girl with PC: I wont give you my password

Me: I already have your password

Girl with PC: .....

That was good beer

Why is it called RAID0?
Because the number 0 is standing for the number of files you can recover when a drive fails

Found my one year old daughter with my phone, browsing devrant

Who taught her that?

> When the intern claims that nginx is serving more request than apache

Just bought a bigger desk, only to realize that I should have bought a even bigger

Two weeks ago:
customer - we need a small website, nothing special. Give us your cheapest option
*proceeds and give them the cheapeast offer, the accept and deploy their site*

Today:
I "notice" a spike in trafic, 20k request / second, and many sessions had 60-70 MB (big videos on the site) in size which cause the gateway to die and almost killed the entire hosting platform.

"Nothing special" turns out to be a website for a big campaign that they are currently running on TV, Radio, Paper and AdWord.

So, we got fucking DDoSed today, over 100gbit

Every Indian dude on forums:
Hi I installed Kali Linux can you teach me to hack websites?

*Showerthoughts*

Steam downloads games over plaintext, so can I whireshark a game and get it for free then?

*Showerthoughts*

Me to wordpress "developer"

- No, you are not a developer, you just drag and drop shit in visual composer

That felt good

Wife - my site is not working, everything in the code looks correct. But it is only throwing me 404 all over

Me - "blaming the teacher for giving bad shit"

Wife after googling - I fixed it, you have forgot to enable .htaccess in the virtualhost

FFS how long have I been this stupid?

People are complaining about how to exit vi/vim.
They have not FUCKING TRIED EXIT TELNET ON A SWEDISH KEYBOARD

So I recently joined a facebook group about "hacking" knowing that I would gather alot of lulz.
Thanks someone here on devrant that showed me this

Daily fortune;
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.

Got more free stuff

Thanks EU.

Wife just became 100% GNU+Linux user, feels good.

My parents my whole childhood:

What are you *** doing in front of that screen?!?!
Stop playing GAMES and go out and do something with your life!
You are WASTING your LIFE on ****!
You will NEVER get a job.

Today I am payed more than 20th times as my dad was payed in my age.
They finally stopped complaining.

The time my sister dropped the external HDD with every single picture of our family between 2000-2009.
I was 16 at the time, and it made me paranoid like I am today.

Three offsites backups, and three local ones currently and always trying to do expand.

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"new week, new possi..."

No FUCK you

Thanks Sweden.
I have to pay $10 toll on my $1 sticker pack from Unixstickers, which I wont.

Got invited to a "roundtable", where we will discuss email security and the future and direction of where it is going.
Only 10 people in Sweden got a chair

I feel exclusive but also scared that they will find out what a noob I am lol

I have a new goal

We should get a domain toghether
@Pizza

Hey @linuxxx
Why do you use Let's Encrypt now again? ;)

I had my first nightmare in years:

I was at work, and suddenly saw that my NS has changed for my personal domain. I also saw that the domain has transferred to another provider and a company had bought it and had it for sale for $7000.

I woke up, but it took 10 minutes before I realized it was just a dream.

I accidently spammed my own server from my other server, which caused fail2ban to go bananas.
Fail2ban sent ALOT of emails to my hostingproviders abuse department and they due to the amount of emails they got suspended my server.

I can't blame them :)

Time to relax

One of the biggest e-commerce site's here in Sweden like to generate hundreds of thousands of sessionfiles every day.
That slows down their website alot, and the poor server is struggling hard.

They asked me if I could do something about it. So I mounted the catalogue with sessionfiles on a tmpfs volume. And suddenly the site is much faster. I guess storing sessionfiles directly into RAM solved it :P

And yes, they are aware that a restart of the server removes the files.

So I got a new job,

10% of the website was down yesterday, thanks to cloudflare.

Centralization is bad.

Poweroutage in the area, suddenly thousands upon thousands of mobile devices is connecting to 4g.
Result? The 4g antenna in the area dies too

The door to my room at work

So a friend of mine ran a Tor Exit node at home for a few month.
He upgraded to gigabit so he was able to push 950Mbit/s quite nicely. He has the oldest Tor Relay (11 years) and was the 2nd fastest exit node.

But he was sadly forced to remove the exit policy, because the police and some other government agencies knocked on his door today.

Daily fortune:
You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.

My mirror is now an Official Ubuntu, Alpine, Debian, qubes-os, linux-libre and linux mint mirror! :D

I felt for playing minecraft again...

Welcome to join me at mc.linux.pizza :P

Last year, a customer bought a very expensive Symantec certificate for their website (that is not hosted by us).

They got the certificate and everything seemed nice. We got paid and all everything.

And yesterday, the customer called and said that their certificate has stopped working. I thought "that is strange" so I visited their site and what I saw was horrible.
The site has used and still used a Let's Encrypt certificate. The webdevs they have had not bothered to install the very expensive Symantec certificate for $1500...

Accidentally bought another domain...

No, my family did not support me.
They complained about everything.
From how "Python was demonic" to how "Working with computer wont save you from the coming tribulation"

Growing up in a religious cult sucks.

This is going to be a very long day...
I forgot both headphones and glasses at home, RIP brain

More RAM and couple of HDD ordered, my homelab is growing :)

ThinkPad master race!
Show us your devmate!
I start!
ThinkPad W530

After almost two years working as a Linux Sysadmin, I have found out that every developer needs a Sysadmin.

This day is the worst ever, I can't do anything. I feel useless and Im much less productive than I use to be.

I hate it when I forget me headphones at home

Worst: work caused me to lose passion, be stressed/really close to burnt.

Best: I resigned

I have a confession to make....

I just started to use git two days ago.
But atleast I GPG sign my commits

Worst advice?
That must have been that time my boss asked me how to restart rsyslog (Windowsguy and I was on vacation)
- "just do rm -r /var/log haha"
And ONE SECOND LATER I SENT THIS
- "haha jk dont"
Waiting a minute and I get this:
- "well that did not work"

Damnit

> me on call
> had to much wine
> suddenly, phone starts making sound
> holy shit, I am on call and I am not supposed to drink
> Calls taxi because shit is looking bad at work. Everything look down according to the sms I get, I had to pay the taxi from my own pocket.
> 40 min later, arrive at work. Walk into the serverroom.
> Go to the the server that is monitoring everything.
> Check networkcable, it is loose. Push it a little.
> Goddamnit, that was it.
> Realize I never doublechecked if stuff really was down from home....

Just bought:
Ryzen 7 1700x, ASUS PRIME X370-PRO, 16GB RAM and a Noctua NH-D15 SE.
€610 total

What a fucking crap week.

Apache no doubt.

Reason? It is good, and it does not want to shove a commercial license into my throat like Nginx wants.

Friday - yeaj its friday!
Saturday - *does whatever I want*
Sunday - *mentally prepare for monday*

Well, it is my turn to rant about the retards on Stack Overflow who are voting down questions only because they are not capable of understanding it.

Problem: Trouble sleeping
Solution: Wine

Just ordered my first iPhone

Someone learned how to replace the color blue

Reading my old rants, I am happy that I evolve

Being a sysadmin, I never write any code.
But I do want to learn that.
What is the easiest language to learn?
(I am lazy)

My turn, my only real friend at the office

Me: "What a stupid piece of shit documentation and software, it does not work!!!!!!!"

Also me: "Oh, this typo made everything _not-work_"

Sorry guys... I just became a normie

Just got my data from Spotify that I requested.
1.1MB of data that should contain 10 years of usage does not seem right at all.

I have seen other that have gotten their information, and it container every from the brands of their headphones to what voicecommand was used to play a song.

My report did not contain any of that.

colleague: My laptop wont start, I don't know what happend. It worked this morning.
me: alright, Ill take a look at it.

I walk down to another room and proceed to open it up. Some kind of smell is rising from the poor laptop. I know that scent.
The motherboard is completely soaked into coffe, with milk.
I walk up the colleague:

me: do you prefer coffe with milk och without?
colleague: haha, it depends on what mood I am in. ( she is obviously stressed about it )
me: that poor laptop of yours, is dead. You soaked it in your coffe
colleague: haha what? No I have not. It worked last night when I used it ( notice how she changed "this morning" to "last night".

I just walk away, and I hope that the insurance does not cover this shit.

trying to convince my boss to buy a nice Linux-cake for the 25 year anniversery this thursday :)

Why does is smell like piss is the serverroom?

Because the admin got locked inside

Me to customer, several years ago:
Your server is over 10 years old, and the support for it will soon be gone together with the possibility to take backups. You should upgrade your website ASAP.

Customer said:
ok, we will look into it.

This day:
Customer:
Hi, our site is down and we need backups from yesterday. Can you please fix?

Me:
Sorry, no. *send copy of the email several years ago*

In Sweden, we say "someone has walked into the wall" when they have gone sick because of stress.

Damnit I hope I am not on my way

I want a new server lol

Got a new mug

I need this

Everytime I encounter cpanel or plesk

fuck that shit, I dont need that aids-software on any machine

I am running a small - but growing - ceph-cluster at work. Since it is fun and our storage demand is growing each day.

Today, it was time to bring another node online and add another 12TB to the cluster.
Installation of the OS went fine, network settings fine, drives looks fine.

Now, time to add it into the cluster.... BAM
Every Dell machine in the Cluster - Dead.
The two HP-machines is online and running. But the Dell-machines just died.

WAT!?

I just wanted to refill ny car :(
Whyyyyy

Im having vacation in a remote village in Austria, where internet is almost not accessible. Im glad that DevRant works with a shitty GPRS connection atleast :)

Daily fortune;
Don't tell any big lies today.
Small ones can be just as effective.

I fucking hate cpanel

Where is the angry shit throwing rant against apple today? I expect the same treatment as Microsoft

With the growth of cloud services like AWS and Google Cloud, I feel like the quality of products is going downhill very fast.
Big providers dont care if the customer do stupid things, sends malware, ddos as long as they pay....

I have joined a pretty exiting project that I think many of you here would like.
I'll probably announce something in the coming month when the product is starting to get ready

I use Linux, not because it is easy.

If I want something easy, I would ask your Mom.

I like Spotify

Couple of years back:
"Hey, lets put all of our custom binaries in /bin"

Today:
"Hey @Linux, I updated my system and now some binaries is gone"

Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.

Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are.

@dfox
I need longer beard on the avatars

Need advice;
Build a server or a gaming pc?
Budget: $2000

I have really found something that I really like, and that is email servers.
I cant explain it but it is so satisfying

I enjoy hating crapple more than Windows.

Done, some extra storage

Kinda trendy nowadays

I became a Vivaldi user today.

Sad to abort a nice Minecraft session with fellow devranters in order to drive to work... Hopefully I am back before 4AM.

Time to move my mailserver!
I am having an inner struggle about what distro/OS to use:

Debian
CentOS
Ubuntu
FreeBSD
OpenBSD

What should I use? Why?

In the last weeks there has been some turmoil on the Fediverse (Mastodon, GNUSocial, Pleroma etc) about "how nazis prefer a certain kind of software and therefore must the developer of the software take action".
One solution is to make software "harder to install so nazis can't install one"

The thing is, that people like that do a better job of spreading the views and the message of the self-proclaimed nazis. I wish people just started to ignore them.

So my wife decided to study webdevelopment. As long as it is not Wordpress or any other CMS - I am happy!

LiGNUx

Trying to sleep
Brain knows that I have vacation;
"Psst hey, dont waste your vacation on sleeping"

Damnit brain!

So the embassy of X country in X country wanted me to move their website from hover.com - so I checked the particular site.

And it is just an iframe to a wordpress.com website, and they had no idea.

One week left, then VACATION

Lets see what this bad boy can do

Is it possible to list the oldest active accounts here on devrant?

I dont know if I should hate it or love it that I had to teach "certified microsoft engineers" about how Exchange works.

> Me on call
> Notice that our Echangeserver is not working, strange that I did not get any alarm?
> Start working on it, the services are slow as fuck. They dont start
> Nvm reboot
>10 minutes later the same problem, start to dig deeper.
>Everything goes slow because I am not a Windows guys
>The big boss calls, clock is 7 AM (our office opens as 8AM)
> She is angry that I am not at the office, because the mail does not work.
> I am working remotely from home, 30 min drive to work
> Told her that I have a 30 min drive and I was supposed to be home to take care of wife that was sick
> She is annoyed, pissed.
> She demands that I need to be at the office to solve the problem

omg,,, I don't work better if I am in the office.
Also, it turns out that a colleague has turned of the alarms from Nagios/OP5 for the exchange environment because is once spammed his phone.

Alright, the devrantron app for linux is awesome

I have tested FreeNAS for a couple of days, there is one fucking stupid thing that I just dont understand:

Why have'nt I used it before?!

Finally a calm day att work, time to retreat into the datacenter

The satisfaction when your private project works as I thought from the beginning.

I will have nice dreams this night

Oh so easily the trust between the employee and boss can be destroyed.

All it took was hearing the truth from another one.

Oh god, where to start? It is my job to fight against devs that likes to breaks RFC, do stuff stupidly or just do not actually know how stuff works

Something appeared on my Network today

Windows 95, I was 4 years old. Amazing times. I even had my own floppydrive

Why the FUCK does DuckDuckGo use NON-FREE JAVASCRIPT!

Actually, I like my new profilepic

I need motivation

ha ha funny

(this has already been posted 3 times, so why not a 4th)

Yep, that is true

I have not gotten a single Christmas call/card this year. Feels good :)

I dont like the hype around Christmas.

Damn it, someone messed up the coffemachine.. every single toilet is occupied

They try so friggin hard

Tried matrix a little with my own instance. Joined a room with 10k people just to notice how I got a flood of http requests from several thousands of servers.

And that, brought my network down lol

Suddenly, everyone is switching to OpenSUSE, have I missed something?

I love working from home, for no other reason because I want to.

Sometimes, I like my job.

So, Microsoft employees is the ones who contributes most to Open Source projects.

When your dear raid fails :(

Watching the Parker Solar Probe launch, seems to have been delayed a couple of minutes.

I have my name and my sons name on it, kinda cool.

I wish there were some sort of nerd club in my city were IT ppl gathered and build a datacenter just for fun

devrant should be aviable in bash also

CVE-2017-12542
Most fun I've hade in month

Python:

sed -i -e s/master/parent/g file.py

I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time

Dealing with all the customers, and so called "Web Developers" is making me än alcoholic.

Namecheap have 90% off on SSL certificates from Comodo this Black Friday.

Things that I always install and configure in a server:
automysqlbackup, rsnapshot, htop, zsh (oh-my-zsh)

I am searching for hosting companies that is located in obscure and/or remote/unknown places. Do some of you know one or two?

Debian Stretch is now live!

I love the scent of big partitions

Signed up for Cyber Security Nordic this september. It looks interesting.

finally, some cool weather, fuck weather

I had a really productive day
I can finally sleep well

Cloudflare does a good job

Soooo... Edward Snowden does not like Allo.

Back to work after vacation.
And WTF do my collegues ignore the hardware failures and save that shit for me?

After 4 weeks of vacation I am back in business.
Now I need 1 week to rest after the vacation.

Patch your linux boxes - CVE-2017-15265

Even Linux suffer from bugs, not only Windows

Daily fortune;
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.

🎁🎄🎉

This rant was sent from the future

I do not like drupal

Does anyone here remember happypenguin.org?

Stallman does not like the term "FOSS"

Just got two LG G7 ThinQ for €700, that's two for one.

How many of you use SWAP on your VPS?
If you do, pls stop.

The best DNS service? Why?

My Linux guru showed me Varnish cache

Look what I found

saw some people posting their workstation. Here is mine.

When I applied to my current job I was imedialety called to an interview. I was greeted by my soon-to-be coworkers and we entered the room where the interview was going to be held.
The boss walked accross the room and opened a door in the wall, took out three beers and asked if I wanted some too. I declined because I had a 3 hour drive home. Still got the job.

Me as a sysadmin, and the devs approach with this:
hey "Linux", they network is stupid, the firewall is blocking the trafic from server1 to server2, pls fix.

The servers are on the same subnet with no firewall, so I log in to the servers and find out that their programs is not running.

This is something I deal with every day

MFW there is nothing to rant about

#not a rant
When I finally have Four weeks of vacation..

anyone that want to join my minecraftserver?
ಠ౪ಠ

not really a rant;
But I am a real fan of sci-fi stuff, and yesterday I tried star citizen for the first time (been backer since 2012).
I have not slept yet

Bring out the beer! All the cakes!

Vim 8.0 has been released!

Big names in the EU is visiting this city today. Traffic is fked up and I have been at the office real early today. Good thing that I brought my Switch so I can play some games while I am alone

Anyone know how to install drivers for a CD-ROM drive?
OAKCDROM.SYS

I got more free stuff

#!/bin/bash
rm -rf /

###########
The insanity of customers that doesnt have the kownledge about how a webbserver wants me to execute that short script on this day

Another Swedish hostingcompany bragging about the data center in New York they have. It apparently withstanded the hurricane Katrina

Shamelessy stolen from nixCraft

Just found a nice hosting provider that actually have some customers in the taxi and transport segment.

The provider offer emailsservices, webhosting, dns services. So far so good.

The only problem that I can find here is that everything is hosted on one single IP.
The DNS-servers, the mail server and webserver is one fucking server.