"Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time." - N.J. Rubenking

Please people! I'm begging you! please use !Rant correctly
! means NOT
!Rant == NOT Rant
You cannot call yourselves developers if you do not understand this simple syntax!

My laptop got stolen the other day. The thing I miss the most? My 40+ open tabs!

How do you call a mentally fucked up path in Linux?

A /psycho/path

I'm really not much of a drinker, but last night I was apparently.

I thought I played video games until I passed out on the couch and was carried to bed.

This morning, my laptop reveals to me that I had an idea for a web app last night because I made a very misspelled, yet highly detailed to do list for the app, a very blank index file, and 37 open tabs of what looks like research for certain web features.

Project seemed to be some sort of organization thing with a lot of really random and unrelated features like "fruit meterr that scales different fruits you earn" (what does that even mean??) and "sassy bill reminder".

I'm closing out all the tabs I had opened, when I see the tab showing the domain name I chose and bought. I even got the SSL certificate and email domain purchased.

Drunk me seemed to have been really excited about this idea 😶

My mentor/guider at my last internship.

He was great at guiding, only 1-2 years older than me, brought criticism in a constructive way (only had a very tiny thing once in half a year though) and although they were forced to use windows in a few production environments, when it came to handling very sensitive data and they asked me for an opinion before him and I answered that closed source software wasn't a good idea and they'd all go against me, this guy quit his nice-guy mode and went straight to dead-serious backing me up.
I remember a specific occurrence:
Programmers in room (under him technically): so linuxxx, why not just use windows servers for this data storage?
Me: because it's closed source, you know why I'd say that that's bad for handling sensitive data
Programmers: oh come on not that again...
Me: no but really look at it from my si.....
Programmers: no stop it. You're only an intern, don't act like you know a lot about thi....
Mentor: no you shut the fuck up. We. Are. Not. Using. Proprietary. Bullshit. For. Storing. Sensitive. Data.
Linuxxx seems to know a lot more about security and privacy than you guys so you fucking listen to what he has to say.
Windows is out of the fucking question here, am I clear?

Yeah that felt awesome.

Also that time when a mysql db in prod went bad and they didn't really know what to do. Didn't have much experience but knew how to run a repair.
He called me in and asked me to have a look.
Me: *fixed it in a few minutes* so how many visitors does this thing get, few hundred a day?
Him: few million.
Me: 😵 I'm only an intern! Why did you let me access this?!
Him: because you're the one with the most Linux knowledge here and I trust you to fix it or give a shout when you simply can't.

Lastly he asked me to help out with iptables rules. I wasn't of much help but it was fun to sit there debugging iptables shit with two seniors 😊

He always gave good feedback, knew my qualities and put them to good use and kept my motivation high.

Awesome guy!

When linux crashes : "OK, maybe i did a mistake, the program i made was bad or something like that"
When windows crashes : "THE FUCK THIS OS IS BULLSHIT !"

Write code on paper.

🤔
sql - Syntax error near '*entire sql command*'
😑

Reading other people's rants.

Well guys it was nice being dev while it lasted. Reevaluated my life and decided to travel the vast world and become a Pokemon master.

no profession has the kind of online communities like developers and programmers,

why?

we haven't built it for them ^_^

This is fact.

Best newbie advice:
I don't care how smart you think you are--start your for loops at 0.

In devrant, I am but a variable that is being incremented and decremented.

what happens if your .gitignore file contains '.gitignore'?

Time to leave the planet.

Found on 2019's Stack Overflow Annual Developer Survey

Me fixing bugs

We got a binary clock at our trainstation. I love it, but most of the people think it's wasted money because they can't read it.

The transition from developer to manager.