Duplex: Hi, Umm... Can I book 3 seats on Wednesday?

Restaurant: Sure! And what time is it?

Duplex: Yeah, Oh, I'd like it at NullPointer Exception if it's possible.

Restaurant: Invalid parameter "NullPointer Exception" restarting program...

1995: Viruses create funny VGA effect
2000: Viruses send SPAM e-mails
2010: Viruses steal credentials
2016: Viruses launch DDoS attacks
2017: Viruses demand ransom
2018: Viruses mine crypto coins

When I finished my studies, I was looking for a job and had an interview at a smallish company.

Boss: can you do C?
Me: yes, I have already done some stuff in C.
Boss: I mean, are you really good in C?
Me, growing suspicious: well yes I already have been using it - but anyway, there's also the project documentation for looking up, right?
Boss: uhm, the code IS the documentation.

I envisioned myself being drowned in undocumented spaghetti code and wasn't really keen on that job anymore, but my following question pretty much ended the interview:

Me: oh, I see. Do you have any roadmap for getting your development to a more professional base?

His looks, priceless! He was just shocked when he realised that he had failed my interview, and that I was a fresher made it even harder to digest for him.

Login :
Username - admin
Password - admin

js validation

Savage!!! (-Programming Geeks)

Error: Missing argument exception.

Source /r/ProgrammerHumor

I kinda feel sorry for him

When i see people running notepad through wine on linux machine.

Strongly typed SMS

Who wants these?

For less than a second, I thought I found a bug on devrant

When a non-coworker stars your project on github.

I guess my dog doesnt like Dev rant. Bye bye 1.5 year old stress ball :,(

A sad day it is

i love programming cz it's fucking awesome

credits to @mattiasgeniar

I hate those fucking sites which make you login first and then redirect to their home page.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ITS 2017. CANT YOU BASTARDS WRITE A FEW LINES OF CODE SO THAT I AM AUTOMATICALLY REDIRECTED TO WHERE I WAS AND I NEED NOT BACKSPACE EVERY TIME I LOGIN?

Procrastination is like masturbation: it feels good while you're doing it but you're only fucking yourself.

- I remember this every time, it doesn't help much but it does make me chuckle.

29-year veteran here. Began programming professionally in 1990, writing BASIC applications for an 8-bit Apple II+ computer. Learned Pascal, C, Clipper, COBOL. Ironic side-story: back then, my university colleagues and I used to make fun of old COBOL programmers. Fortunately, I never had to actually work with the language, but the knowledge allowed me to qualify for a decent job position, back in '92.

For a while, I worked with an IBM mainframe, using REXX and EXEC2 scripting languages for the VM/SP operating system. Then I began programming for the web, wrote my first dynamic web applications with cgi-bin shell and Perl scripts. Used the little-known IBM Net.Data scripting language. I finally learned PHP and settled with it for many, many years.

I always wanted to be a programmer. As a kid I dreamed of being like Kevin Flynn, of TRON - create world famous videogames and live upstairs my own arcade place! Later on, at some point, I was disappointed, I questioned my skills, I thought I should do more, I let other people's expectations make feel bad. Then I finally realized I actually enjoy a quieter, simpler life. And I made peace with it.

I'm now like the old programmers I used to mock 30 years ago. There's so much shit inside my brain. And everything seems so damn complex these days. Frameworks, package managers, transpilers, layers and more layers of code. I try to keep up. And the more I learn, the more it seems I don't know.

Sometimes I feel tired. Yet, I still enjoy creating things and solving problems with programming. I still have fun learning. And after all these years, I learned to be proud of my work, even if it didn't turn out to be as glamorous as in the movies.