Relatives: You're a computer guy, right, what are you working on these days?
Me: *should I bother explaining, should I not* Oh, just some stuff.
R: Oh come on, tell us, how difficult can it be?
M: *sigh* I'm working on a custom garbage collector for-
R: !!

They're now under the impression that I'm involved in collecting rubbish from bins. Sigh. My hair doesn't help here, either, lol (I have one of those tangled, unruly mops of hair)

This will take time to explain.

If Java had true garbage collector it would delete itself.

Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)

Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.

(2 hours later)

N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.

This guy is collector.

The time my Java EE technology stack disappointed me most was when I noticed some embarrassing OutOfMemoryError in the log of a server which was already in production. When I analyzed the garbage collector logs I got really scared seeing the heap usage was constantly increasing. After some days of debugging I discovered that the terrible memory leak was caused by a bug inside one of the Java EE core libraries (Jersey Client), while parsing a stupid XML response. The library was shipped with the application server, so it couldn't be replaced (unless installing a different server). I rewrote my code using the Restlet Client API and the memory leak disapperead. What a terrible week!

java garbage collector...

Damn girl you're java!
Hot as hell still a garbage collector🔥

The mysterious all 0s number called yet again.

I had my headphones on so I answered during class, but didn't talk.

It was a "debt collector" and she used my mother's maiden name saying that we should pay or something like that.

The woman was human, but used a computer generated voice to say my mother's maiden name.

So... I guess it's a scam caller.

A Developer is desperate: his java application servers are unresponsive, thousand of dead zombie threads are sucking all cpus, memory is leaking everywhere, garbage collector has gone crazy, the cluster sessions are fucked....

The Developer goes to the closest bridge, ties a stone to his neck and gets ready to jump.

Suddenly a bearded old man with a fiery look runs toward him, yelling:
- stop stop!!!! Your application is not scaling and misconfigured, your servers are melting, cpu usage is not sustainable anymore, but don't despair

The Developer, puzzled, looks at him:
-I've never seen you...how do you know...
- Hey, man, I'm the Devil. I know everything. All your problems are solved. I'll give you magic functions. They are called Lambda.
You'll never have to worry about your servers, scalability, security, configuration and shit.

The Developer seems astonished but relieved:
- Ok, sounds great! let's try it - suddenly suspicion creeps in - hmmmm but you are the Devil....so...you want something back, don't you?
(the Devil nods lightly with a diabolic smile)
- ...and...you want my soul, I guess...
- your soul??? come on!!! - the Devil burst in a laugh - we are in 2019. I don't care about your soul. I want your ass.
- What!???!!!?
- yes, I want to fuck your ass

The Developer, evaluates quickly the situation.
Few moments of pain or slight discomfort (?) in exchange for magic lambda. It could be worth. He accepts.

After a while of rough anal fucking, the devil asks
- Hey, how old are you anyway?
- 45, why?
- Oh jeeez...45!!!??? and you still believe in the devil?

- hang on for a second
- why?
- The garbage collector should pick you up any minute now

If Java had true garbage collector, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. -Robert Sewel 😂😂

A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill

Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!

Feeds text related to database security....

Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter

rant, but not an IT kind... okay, maybe not even a rant, more like depressive rambling:

in 3 days, I'll turn 29.
i'm living with my mom, in the apartment where I was born, in the room i've been living since I was born (with the exception of 2 attempts to move out which together lasted 9 months).

my theoretical monthly income should/could be around 4000€, based on my skills and experience.

but I'm a (manic)-depressive, chronically lonely idiot loser (and the manic phases come more and more rarely in recent years), so
my practical average monthly income fluctuates from 0 to about 200.

i am unable to keep a job for more than 4 months, so after being fired from about 20 or so of them since I was 18, it takes immense amounts of mental and emotional energy to even start looking for one now... so I usually don't.

i've been about 12000€ in debt for the past 8 or so years, half of which is just debt collector fees.
it's kinda funny, for years, i've been unable to solve a debt which theoretically amounts to 3 months of my theoretical achievable salary.

my father, who just left without a word of explanation when I was 18, has decided this is not viable anymore, so I'm supposed to move out by 10th of next month, "either to some cheap rooming house, or under the bridge, I don't care", as he put it.

I can't remember how it feels to exist a single hour without feeling existential dread and dreading each next day, not knowing what to do or if i'll even be able to try and do something, because this feeling is so strong that it often blocks me from being able to do anything. i just shiver most of the time that i'm awake, feeling like you feel few minutes before puking and crying at the same time. and that feeling is my "how are you?", "you know... normal".

i can't remember what it feels to feel any other way and can't even imagine it, and can't imagine that I'll ever achieve any less shit feeling.

literally all of my social contact consists of going out once to twice a month with the only 2 friends and 2 aquaintances I have who have the time and will to spend it with me.
oh, and hiding in my room, avoiding talking to my mom, because each time we talk she just reminds me what a piece of shit failure I am, and tells me how it's not that hard to change it, I just have to stop being lazy and start working for it.

she's... kind and caring about it, which somehow maybe makes it even worse.

i have about 10 almost complete game designs, each of them at least 50% more original and interesting (at least to me) than the things that are coming out for the past 10 years, being lauded as "the most original and unique".

I have been trying to make them, ANY of them, since I was 18, but I always lose all the drive and resolve and energy in like 4 months, because it's like trying to build a city on my own on a deserted island. too big for one person, but there was never anyone to help me. closest I ever got was one of my friends telling me "i've been thinking many times that i'd love to work on some project with you, if I had the time".
and second time, when I actually found an artist I was going to pay, and he was awesome, and after two weeks of me telling him how awesome what he does is and how it fits the project and my ideas perfectly, he backed out saying "i'm afraid I can't do the quality you require from me".

never ever in my life did I get actual help with something I actually wanted or tried to do.

i have no idea how it feels to have someone working with me on something I actually consider interesting and meaningful, on any of the things which I wanted to make, which made me learn programming.

I've learned graphics and animation and everything going into game making pipeline on my own because I realized nobody will ever help me, so I'll have to do all of it on my own.

I've tried to make a kickstarter once, but I started crying hysterically in the middle of writing it, because I felt like a begging piece of failure shit, even more than usual, so I deleted it.

most of people treat me like shit failure unworthy and undeserving of living, precisely as I myself know I deserve to be treated, because that's what I am, but when I ask for permission to kill myself, since I see no other solution to stop being a burden, they get angry at me that I'm just emotionally blackmailing them. when I afterwards ask them "so help me in any way to do any of the projects i want/need to do", they respond they've got no time for that.

when I talk about all of this, I get told to stop whining.

happy 29th birthday, me, a piece of shit who should've never survived this long, who should've never been born in the first place.
yay.

also, I know this is not the kind of crap that's supposed to be posted here, but i've got nowhere else. sorry.

There needs a garbage collector in real life, for those who pass in front of you, walk in front of you, and light up a cigarette to smoke it while you're behind them.

"Yeah, but isn't it worse than those entering the tram after having smoked?"

Here's a better question: where's natural selection when you need it?

Clean your country be like garbage collector 😀

Why is starting a C++ project so overly complicated and annoying?!

So many different compilers. So many ways to organize the files. So many inconsistencies between Linux and Windows. So many outdated/lacking tutorials. So many small problems.

Why is there almost no good C++ IDEs? Why is Visual Studio so bizarre? Why are the CMake official tutorials literally wrong? Why can't we have a standard way to share binaries? Why can't we have a standard way to structure project folders? Why is the linker so annoying to use?

Don't get me wrong, I quite like the language and I love how fast it is (one of the main reasons I decided to use it for my project, which is a game almost comparable to Factorio)... But why is simply starting to write code such a hassle?

I've been programming in Java for years and oh god I miss it so much. JARs are amazing. Packages are amazing. The JDK is amazing. Everything is standardized, even variable names.

I'm so tempted to make this game in Java...

But I can't. I would have a garbage collector in the way of its performance...

Stop calling people by their old occupation titles. .
Please address them by using their new titles accordingly
and they will like it their job more.

OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist*

OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission engineer*

OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Controller*

OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*

OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*

OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*

OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*

OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Director*

OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*

OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Director*

OLD: *Prostitute*
NEW: *Practical Sexual Relations Officer*

OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Officer*

OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*

OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestics Managing Director*

OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Chemist*

OLD: *Gossip*
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Director*

Which one got you more?

I don’t like to judge people based on what languages they like (because I like all of them). But I can’t deny the pattern anymore.

Smart people know and enjoy smart languages: Smalltalk, OCaml, Clojure, Lisp, Haskell, etc. They may use JavaScript or PHP to make money, but ask them to code in their smart language and they’ll be more efficient. Getting old, some of those people say “screw it” and find a Haskell job.

You, my friend, are not one of those people. You are VSCode-dwelling goblin who thinks lambda calculus has something to do with JS arrow function notation, is scared of reduce() and not even good at the single fucking language they know.

Insta coders and that mechanical keyboard collector dorks are not “superstars” you got to be like.

I propose that the study of Rust and therefore the application of said programming language and all of the technology that compromises it should be made because the language is actually really fucking good. Reading and studying how it manages to manipulate and otherwise use memory without a garbage collector is something to be admired, illuminating in its own accord.

BUT going for it because it is a "beTter C++" should not constitute a basis for it's study.

Let me expand through anecdotal evidence, which is really not to be taken seriously, but at the same time what I am using for my reasoning behind this, please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, for I am a software engineer yes, I do have academic training through a B.S in Computer Science yes, BUT my professional life has been solely dedicated to web development, which admittedly I do not go on about technical details of it with you all because: I am not allowed to(1) and (2)it is better for me to bitch and shit over other petty development related details.

Anecdotal and otherwise non statistically supported evidence: I have seen many motherfuckers doing shit in both C and C++ that ADMIT not covering their mistakes through the use of a debugger. Mostly because (A) using a debugger and proper IDE is for pendejos and debugging is for putos GDB is too hard and the VS IDE is waaaaaa "I onlLy NeeD Vim" and (B) "If an error would have registered then it would not have compiled no?", thus giving me the idea that the most common occurrences of issues through the use of the C father/son languages come from user error, non formal training in the language and a nice cusp of "fuck it it runs" while leaving all sorts of issues that come from manipulating the realm of the Gods "memory".
EVERY manual, book, coming all the way back to the K&C book talks about memory and the way in which developers of these 2 languages are able to manipulate and work on it. EVERY new standard of the ISO implementation of these languages deals, through community effort or standard documentation about the new items excised through features concerning MODERN (meaning, no, the shit you learned 20 years ago won't fucking cut it) will not cut it.

THUS if your ass is not constantly checking what the scalpel of electrical/circuitry/computational representation of algorithms CONDONES in what you are doing then YOU are the fucking problem.

Rust is thus no different from the original ideas of the developers behind Go when stating that their developers are not efficient enough to deal with X language, Rust protects you, because it knows that you are a fucking moron, so the compiler, advanced, and well made as it is, will give you warnings of your own idiotic tendencies, which would not have been required have you not been.....well....a fucking idiot.

Rust is a good language, but I feel one that came out from the necessity of people writing system level software as a bunch of fucking morons.
This speaks a lot more of our academic endeavors and current documentation than anything else. But to me DEALING with the idea of adapting Rust as a better C++ should come from a different point of view.

Do I agree with Linus's point of view of C++? fuck no, I do not, he is a kernel engineer, a damn good one at that regardless of what Dr. Tanenbaum believes(ed) but not everyone writes kernels, and sometimes that everyone requires OOP and additions to the language that they use. Else I would be a fucking moron for dabbling in the dictionary of languages that I use professionally.
BUT in terms of C++ being unsafe and unsecured and a horrible alternative to Rust I personaly do not believe so. I see it as a powerful white canvas, in which you are able to paint software to the best of your ability WHICH then requires thorough scrutiny from the entire team. NOT a quick replacement for something that protects your from your own stupidity BY impending the use of what are otherwise unknown "safe" features.

To be clear: I am not diminishing Rust as the powerhouse of a language that it is, myself I am quite invested in the language. But instead do not feel the reason/need before articles claiming it as the C++ killer.

I am currently heavily invested in C++ since I am trying a lot of different things for a lot of projects, and have been able to discern multiple pain points and unsafe features. Mainly the reason for this is documentation (your mother knows C++) and tooling, ide support, debugging operations, plethora of resources come from it and I have been able to push out to my secret project a lot of good dealings. WHICH I will eventually replicate with Rust to see the main differences.

Online articles stating that one will delimit or otherwise kill the other is well....wrong to me. And not the proper approach.

Anyways, I like big tits and small waists.

Practice "garbage collector": relax by keeping your eyes closed for exactly 10 minutes when you feel tired (you won't fall asleep).

I usually do it once (after lunch) or twice a day (and mid afternoon).

Benefits are huge: just try it.

Devs: *talking about coronavirus
Sysadmin: well it looks like the garbage collector in action

So i was working on ruby gem that wraps the libarchive C library which can be used to read and write archives of many different formats.

I was stuck for few days with a segfault and for the life of me, i couldn't find the problem.

So, i took a break and went to visit my grandparent, grandpa saw me so zoned out. So he was like, whats happening? I was like, "Frakinn program, keeps crashing".

He looked at me and said, "Garbage in Garbage out, Computers don't make mistakes" and went back to finish his game.

Then it him me the FRAKINN Ruby Garbage collector is freeing in-use objects and suddenly everything make sense.

Thank you grandpa :D

I was talking to a friend of mine(more of an acquaintance really) about our shared interest in Go and how I am trying to see if I can implement it more and more into my daily activities(simple CLI utilities, maybe a web app or two) and he mentioned how much he likes it after being part of a Java shop for such a long time. He said that he got tired of the verbosity of Java and how Go was such a "breath of fresh air"

var i SomeShit
do.SomeShit(&i)
if do.Error != nil {
panic(do.Error)
}
fmt.Println("Could not agree at all")

On how bullshitty it is to say that one switched over to Golang because of the verbosity of other languages, specially when anything meaningful that you might do with the code requires constant checking.
And let us not

forget := lol.bullshit(); forget != nil {
about some of the other bs you get to do
oh look scoped errors
}

.....like I get it man. I like the language, no, It ain't replacing C or C++ for low level shit, not with a garbage collector are you fucking high?
But yes, I do like the language, they got a lot of shit right, the thing is, I feel like I know everything about it already since A) shit is way too simple, simple enough to be used by anyone really and B) other than goroutines this language does not really bring anything new to the table, far as I can tell.

I mean shit. I thought I was at odds with Python disliking syntactical whitespace enough to make me try and not use an otherwise perfectly good lang(Python I love you but hate syntactical whitespace) but Golang really puts me at odds. I love it but dislike it at the same time.

People caught using emojis in code should be driven into the sea.

Otherwise one day its gonna just be straight magic, without reason or understanding.

You're gonna type a bunch of moon runes into a glowing floaty interface, pour the blood of a chicken into a collector tray (totally not a pentagram) and "shit just happens" (tm).

And "scholars" (neckbeards) will spend all their time shape-in-wrong-hole idiocracy-style button mashing their mystical ouija board IDEs in the grim dark future, looking for combinations that do something useful.

Every time it glows red? Compile error.

Every time it glows green? Christmas is near, congrats it compiled.

Every time it sets off a mystical air siren (henceforth known as "fusrohdah"), runtime error. And probably explosions.

In the grim dark future of Apple 40k. A.D, there is only war, warp demons, and pending VSCode updates.

*Gives the list of top three candidates (All women) to hire to HR Manager (A Lady)*
HRM: Ha, I always knew it, women are always better than men. Alas, you are realising now.

*At that moment, it felt as if all my hard work to judge all the candidates abilities without any prejudice whatsoever, just got collected by the garbage collector*

Why does it have to be Men Vs Women, why does there have to be any comparison at all, except the question that how does this individual compare to the rest.
I really don't care whether one is old, young, male or female or whatever other factor that can be used to separate humans into groups. Why can't it simply be: Does this individual produce the end result required? Period.

Java's garbage collector is so bad that if it was good it would have collected all of my code!!

Since when does the garbage collector running actually increase the memory used??!!!

i remember doing this stupid thing in java which would instantiate some object every frame or something like that which would make your computer run out of memory in a few seconds

do you want to know what my genius solution was

run System.gc() every frame

i was like 8 fucking years old i didn't know what i was doing

So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?

And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(

Oh you're a real programmer because you use pointers.... Big man you are. Meanwhile I'm at home because I use a garbage collector and don't have any memory bugs.

A friend came to me whether i want to do a project on c++(someone asked him to find a c++ guy).
Me needing money didn’t refuse. Even though i am a Java developer with 0 skills on c++, but wanted to give it a try.
So project started, and it was about a plugin for rhinoceros app(3d graphics app).
The plugin was simple, had some views and some services to upload a file into s3 and some api calls, not something complex..
So i ended up working on the project together with my friend(web dev).
So long story short, we had a lot of issues, but considering we both had no knowledge on c++, we were really lucky to finish the product almost on time(3 days after).
Did no memory management even though i’ve read that we have to do that by our selfs and that c++ doesn’t have garbage collector.
But the plugin worked great even without garbage collector.
Had a lot issues with string manipulation, which almost drive me crazy.

PS: did a post here before taking the project, to ask whether it is a good idea to take the project or not, had some positive and some negative replies, but i deleted the post since i thought i was breaking the NDA i signed 😂😂

PS2: just finished OCAJP 8 last week with a great score😃

garbage collectors' lifestyle matters!

Ever eyeballed the abyss of your memory leaks? Shit, garbage collectors deserve a raise.

Unsung heroes, janitorialing thru that VM like a dung beetle, silently fucking up your perf so you can do that delicious spaghetti. Indiana-jonesing the fuck out of that memory trash can and euthanizing all that disgusting heap of pointers hanging, dangling, like... well, like garbage.

At the very least they're deterministic, unlike that Markov chain we all had the displeasure of fucking up. Amen? Amen! 🙌🏻

You gotta wonder, though, what goes through their nuggin. Do they reminisce about the potential of that half-ass-written class? Do they weep for the elegance of a forgotten function bottlenecking their job? Nah, probably just counting down the nanoseconds till their next full GC cycle. Aaah, like cold beer in Saturday barbecue.

So next time your program miraculously avoids a memory error, take a moment, put your hands up in the air and say a prayer to your garbage collector.

Silently covering for your fuckups

inherited a glossier brand lip balm when my friend moved. the balm itself is cool, but my GOD zoomer-oriented marketing BS is sooo obnoxious. “Spread the lush balm over your lips for the moisturizing, nourishing goodness”, my god, something like that. I don't know for sure because I can't read it — immediately tried to clean it off with acetone, but after that failed, I painted all over it with an industrial-grade paint marker. And I don't remember that either, as my brain's garbage collector immediately displaced that cringe.
Can I just get a damn product? With the packaging saying nothing than a brand name and how to use it?

what kind of dumb fuck you have to be to get the react js dev job in company that has agile processes if you hate the JS all the way along with refusing to invest your time to learn about shit you are supposed to do and let's add total lack of understanding how things work, specifically giving zero fucks about agile and mocking it on every occasion and asking stupid questions that are answered in first 5 minutes of reading any blog post about intro to agile processes? Is it to annoy the shit out of others?

On top of that trying to reinvent the wheels for every friggin task with some totally unrelated tech or stack that is not used in the company you work for?

and solution is always half-assed and I always find flaw in it by just looking at it as there are tons of battle-tested solutions or patterns that are better by 100 miles regarding ease of use, security and optimization.

classic php/mysql backend issues - "ooh, the java has garbage collector" - i don't give a fuck about java at this company, give me friggin php solution - 'ooh, that issue in python/haskel/C#/LUA/basically any other prog language is resolved totally different and it looks better!' - well it seems that he knows everything besides php!

Yeah we will change all the fucking tech we use in this huge ass app because your inability to learn to focus on the friggin problem in the friggin language you got the job for.

Guy works with react, asked about thoughts on react - 'i hope it cease to exists along with whole JS ecosystem as soon as possible, because JS is weird'. Great, why did you fucking applied for the job in the first place if it pushes all of your wrong buttons!

Fucking rockstar/ninja developers! (and I don't mean on actual 'rockstar' language devs).

Also constantly talks about game development and we are developing web-related suite of apps, so why the fuck did you even applied? why?

I just hate that attitude of mocking everything and everyone along with the 'god complex' without really contributing with any constructive feedback combined with half-assed doing something that someone before him already mastered and on top of that pretending that is on the same level, but mainly acting as at least 2 levels above, alas in reality just produces bolognese that everybody has to clean up later.

When someone gives constructive feedback with lenghty argument why and how that solution is wrong on so many levels, pulls the 'well, i'm still learning that' card.

If I as code monkey can learn something in 2 friggin days including good practices and most of crazy intricacies about that new thing, you as a programmer god should be able to learn it in 2 fucking hours!

Fucking arrogant pricks!

Learning Rust.

Holy brainfucking brain melt, those references, scoping and borrowing and cloning and whatnot, because there is no garbage collector, but also no direct memory management.

It's cool, but also hard for a noob coming from the JVM/Android. The compiler error messages are helpful, but I immediately found some cryptic ones that don't help me at all.

Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?

Other: But why, what's the problem?

Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@

Your mama so dereferenced she dates the garbage collector

once my boss said: if it's lagging just clean the god dam garbage collector 😎
p.s. he's cute

I'd tell you to use a better garbage collector, but I think it might collect you

Worked 2 weeks on hunting a memory leak on a product.

Ended up writing object tracker to find the leak(ironically it was in garbage collector). Found the leak and fixed it. It sounds cool but what I pushed was 9 lines commented out 1 line added for 2 weeks work..

Doesn’t feel very fulfilling to work for 2 weeks to comment out few lines. Only silver lining is that I might turn my object tracker into a library for colleagues to use.

P.s: not a linux or windows environment so tools like walgrind aren’t available.

Gold Center aka Garbage Collector

Following my first rant, my boss had the brilliant idea of running the old and the new architecture in parallel. I had advised that it won’t be ideal since the same Scala code was ingesting into 2 different Kinesis streams and one was running an old KCL written in Java where as other was consumed by a Firehose delivery stream(eventually we will be ingesting it into Firehose directly). I had told few manual + automated tests on Code as well as from a functionality of the new architecture and a set of tests for checking the integration of the new Producer code with Consumer.

The statement I got from my boss was “This is the test, we test it on production in parallel”. My boss had a brilliant idea to fucking test the new code on the production directly but running them in parallel without accounting for undefined behaviour it might cause in the current production system. I mean my boss should get a Nobel peace prize for shattering our mental peace.

Anywho, we started the deployment today at 5AM in the morning. I had all the aws services deployed. Was just waiting to deploy the new Collector code which we did at 5AM. Immediately after 5 minutes the system went bonkers, there was fire, blood, demons and I was smoking a cigarette with the biggest “I told you so smile” on my face. I’ve just written an email to my boss and have told him calmly that “Listen motherfucker, 90 percent of the software companies aren’t idiots to focus on testing and quality. We need to start spending time on testing and quality else we’ll again be in the same soup after few weeks again”.waiting for his reply

Books. I love them, I buy them, where ever I go. My favorites are the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, but I will read any sci-fi/fantasy-styled book I come across. I would attach an image, but my phone's camera is pretty shitty, so just imagine some shelfs filled with books.

Music is imortant to me too. There will always be music playing when I'm around. I'm trying to make some myself. It's not that good but still fun. I am also a collector of vinyl records.

And then there are games of course, because sitting at a pc just for coding is not enough :D

So, I need to search for a new job again. The thing killed my project.

15 years of Java experience in my resume, I look a like a sterotypical 35 years old programmer, I’m applying for expert roles. But every remote technical interview starts with:
- what is the difference between ArrayList and LinkedList?
- what is a hash map?
The hardest part is to keep smiling to the camera, pretending I don’t have the answer memorized by repeating it for the last 15 years of interviewing, and not rolling my eyes.
And before you ask, I do know what garbage collector is.

Fuck golang, apparently enums are too complicated for the human mind. Someone looked at C and decided to make it shittier, like now I have to deal with C shit, and use a garbage collector on top of it or use fucking C++

FredBoat, largest open source discord bot.
Making all the things work + making it scale when demand kept climbing was a challenge where we had to learn simple stuff like postgres, working with 3rd party apis, generally good coding patterns and maintainable code, but also rather advanced stuff like making the garbage collector play nice, profiling memory leaks and optimizing the hot path, as well as high level topics like cutting the codebase into scalable domains and services.

I know I am probably late to the facebook drama, but I think taking out of this all is just how genius and evil all those collector companies are.

I would have probably never thought of collecting data off of mechanical turks and quick jobbers, but they did not only think of it, they deployed their system across multiple jobs, scanning more and more data in from all those connected logins, for less than a dollar per profile, which generates atleast 300 profiles on average.

The real question is why is it allowed for a third party app to actually access all that? even if there's a permission for that, why would such exist?

I really can't see why any application would need access to likes, shares, all friends, all their profiles etc.

Damn, looks like the garbage collector is using a new algorithm because it missed you.

So I just read up on what the language D has to offer. It seems quite good!
- Active community
- Multiple compilers
- Modern (no header files, garbage collector, etc.)
- No VM or framework needed to run it (like C# and Java)

Looking forward to trying it out!

Does anyone have any experience with it? What are your thoughts?

So I recently finished a rewrite of a website that processes donations for nonprofits. Once it was complete, I would migrate all the data from the old system to the new system. This involved iterating through every transaction in the database and making a cURL request to the new system's API. A rough calculation yielded 16 hours of migration time.

The first hour or two of the migration (where it was creating users) was fine, no issues. But once it got to the transaction part, the API server would start using more and more RAM. Eventually (30 minutes), it would start doing OOMs and the such. For a while, I just assumed the issue was a lack of RAM so I upgraded the server to 16 GB of RAM.

Running the script again, it would approach the 7 GiB mark and be maxing out all 8 CPUs. At this point, I assumed there was a memory leak somewhere and the garbage collector was doing it's best to free up anything it could find. I scanned my code time and time again, but there was no place I was storing any strong references to anything!

At this point, I just sort of gave up. Every 30 minutes, I would restart the server to fix the RAM and CPU issue. And all was fine. But then there was this one time where I tried to kill it, but I go the error: "fork failed: resource temporarily unavailable". Up until this point, I believed this was simply a lack of memory...but none of my SWAP was in use! And I had 4 GiB of cached stuff!

Now this made me really confused. So I did one search on the Internet and apparently this can be caused by many things: a lack of file descriptors or even too many threads. So I did some digging, and apparently my app was using over 31 thousands threads!!!!! WTF!

I did some more digging, and as it turns out, I never called close() on my network objects. Thus leaving ~30 new "worker" threads per iteration of the migration script. Thanks Java, if only finalize() was utilized properly.

Garbage collector?

Any minute for the garbage collector.

Friend asked him if I could test his program.
I help him test his program and found a memory leak.
He investigated the issue...
After a few hours, he found out that his garbage collector had a memory leak :^)

So, I was doing some basic engineering project at uni with a teammate but we didn't realize that we were working in a detacted head state in git (due to poor set up of the working environment on his part).
After a 3,5 hours of work, we need to push to the repo and we get an error.
I take control to try to understand what was going on, and in doing so, I (mistakenly?) check out to another branch.
Git garbage collector kicks in and we can't checkout to the previous branch anymore (where all the work was made).
My friend panics and calls the professor, who explains to us how we lost everything and there is "a 100% no hope of recovering our work".

Felt like poop. But wasn't satisfied. I had read somewhere that you don't lose stuff so easily on git. Went home.
After five minutes I was able to recover everything through git reflog feature.

Moral #1: professors should know about the existence of reflog

Moral #2: please use git plug-in in your bash /zsh. Please.

The garbage collector is here for you.

I'm not proud of this, but I'm not sure there's a better way of doing this.

Context: texture sheets are massive, so I wanted them to be gced when possible. Problem is, during init, the gc kept collecting the sheets, which added a full 5-10 seconds to load times.

This ensures that the sheets stay in memory until everything is initialized.

Things nobody told you when starting to learn a new programming language:

Congratulations! You became a collector. From now on you will collect websites, books and a ton of related software.

There should be a garbage collector for IRC channels. If there's no activity for a given period of time, then just cancel it from above...

I love how all foreign people around this floating piece of shithole rock in the middle of nothingness always get flabbergasted when i tell them i earn $3.75 an hour as a software engineer with computer science degree. Trust me I'm flabbergasted beyond you

Garbage collector, toilet shit cleaner, waiter, barber, mcdonalds worker, all of them earn way more than me, as a software engineer with computer science degree

I'm having a dilemma.

I currently hold a position as a Data Collector for one of the biggest tech companies around.

I have picked up a bit of programming by myself over the course of a year, hoping that I would have an opportunity to prove myself in said company for a more permanent position.

Thing is, I don't think they'll be able to take me seriously enough for a more technical position as long as I don't have a degree, which I don't.

So, I was thinking of pursuing a BSc in Computer Sciences, to increase knowledge and at the same time, increase my career prospects.

However, this means that I would have to leave the company, effectively giving up any footholds I have made there already.

Any advice?

I have a love hate relationship with the Java garbage collector I love it when it works but when I notice it gcing in performance tests I know bad days are ahead

Wanted to add alerting for systemd services in Prometheus today, which spontaneously turned out to be a huge pain in the lower human backend.

For some reason, on Ubuntu 16.04 systemd adds services without unit files for software, that isn't even installed on the damn server (in this case for mysql-server / mysql-common and mysql-client are installed) and lists them as "not-found" and "inactive". The prometheus node exporter that we use, has a little bug in the systemd collector that makes sure that the states of *all* services are collected - even those without a unit file.

so those metrics are pulled by prometheus and now I have to take with those faulty metrics in the condition logic of the alert, because I'm trying to trigger that one on a service which is listed with state "active" = 0 or "failed" = 1.

now guess. right! If the unit file doesn't exist, the regarded systemd service is marked as "inactive", which is another possible state of the metrics in the node exporter. the problem is that the value 1 for state "inactive" means, that "active" has the value 0 (not even wrong) and the alert is triggered.

so systemd fucks up somehow, the node exporter collector fucks up because systemd fucked up and I have to unfuck this with some crazy horse shit logic. w.t.f. to that.

the only good news is, that it works like a charm on Ubuntu 18.04, as far, as I can tell.

while writing this little rant, I thought of a solution.
I could try to change the alert condition to state "active" = 0 AND "failed" = 1.. but that will wait till tomorrow.

one does not simply patch monitoring conditions at midnight..

Java's garbage collector must be broken - it failed to get rid of this dumpster fire another dev called "source code". But, hey, at least the profiler works.

Say, you have a huge system with tight memory constraints. Almost every programmer who's created an instance of any object now has that instance in contention for resources on this system. The free memory is going lesser and lesser and other resources are also facing the heat. The garbage collector is not very effective (as garbage collectors we know are). There is a very large pool of objects that do not have any reference and are left to their own. Now instead of instantiating your own objects, you can simply request one off the pool and work with it however you like (regardless of what type the object was) and change its type to the type you want it to (coz they're all after all instances of the same base class).

Now the question is, would you still instantiate your own object or just request from the pool? If it were a fact that once this system is down, you'll never be able to develop and deploy a single program ever again, would you still not care for it?

If only my mom was a programmer, I could have easily explained why I want to adopt a kid and not make my own. :/

1) IList doesn't have an AddRange.
2) WPF bindings must be ObservableCollections
3) Comboxes using Event Notification on PropertyChange are originally developed by some dope at Microsoft who still doesn't comprehend Big-O
4) LINQ can only do so much...

It's Christmas. My gift from Santa is trying to get through an end of year crunch on a project that is made entirely out of hot sweaty year old garbage, and the garbage collector is a halfwit who comes seemingly only when they want to, regardless of when I call Dispose().

It's 12:26pm here. That means it's time for bourbon and a good bit of "F*** this, I'm done for the day."

My nose you shouldn’t see
it behaves like protocol UDP
But with my faculties I should be considered a hero
my mind feels like I just divided by zero
I feel like a Java applicated newly created
with the garbage collector just activated
But I try to keep everything on the positive side
same as the COVID test I just tried…

Why do you have to use pointers in C++? Why doesn't C++ have a good garbage collector? Surely it has to be more advanced than C it has two more +s.....

Changes with Java 14 are:

Records is available (preview), a new class java.lang.Record. The java.lang package is implicitly imported on demand, that is, import java.lang.*

The G1 garbage collector now supports NUMA-aware memory allocations.

The ZGC (Z Garbage Collector) is now available as an experimental feature on macOS and Windows.

Improvements to Parallel GC.

The following methods related to thread suspension in java.lang.Thread and java.lang.ThreadGroup have been terminally deprecated in this release.

If i shit too much then that should mean i eat too much, but how come im not fat then? 🤔 Im normally looking. Normal weight for my height and age. Unless my body shits so much that it auto balances my weight. Holy shit. My body is a Load Balancer! And my asshole is a java garbage collector! It all makes sense now

Some really motivated guy.

He apparently wants to monitore his opensource application on his spare time.
His application is likely to have no users though.
But well, that guy looks like kinda montivated.

For professional purpose, guy already did monitore with newrelic.
Seems like he was not satisfied and switched to datadog 3 years ago.
But liking digging dirt, he migrated to self hosted telegraf/influx/grafana (which he likes to about)

Today that guy is not in his company but on his potatoe machine in the cloud. So he wants to be minimalistic, datadog should do.

Now you got it, random ff*** is me, on a weekend, a shinny saturday for that matter.
Actually now it is night.

Now let's start the fight.

I have datadog scripts!
But datadog be sneaky as well. datadog upgraded to v6 8=)
-> scripts ain't working. outdated.

I check the logs. Too bad!
-> datadog removed dogstatsD.log in v6!

Well I have nothing to do in my life it is too cold outside as they say. I read the (sluggy) datadoc and tries some shell command (given in doc) to upload some events to dogstatsd (via udp).
-> Nothing happens, neither in local nor in remote.

ok maybe command not up to date, so let me try some official library. datadog from python. Feels like a nice try!
-> only available for python >= 3.5. 3.4 on my good ol' jessie. Upgrading os for datadog not acceptable.

Maybe dogstatsD not started... doc says it is by default, but well, not the first time doc is wrong... I put datadog as log verbose. Guess what: as per standard: shitload of error.

Digging... kubexx, docker and whatsoever apparently preventing collector to do its normal stuff
np, I am gonna check that on github! Goog, people have the same errors. They seem to fix it by trying some settings, with. or without luck
-> I am not that warrior to check every stuff

Ok, let's stop the datadog events, it works. It does not anymore. You know that sentence. We all know it.

Still not enough!

How about testing that uber super nice feature of v6. The logs. After all I want to make events out of my applicative logs.
How about reading the log again. Configure the yaml log as they say. Done. Make some pattern. Read the best practive. Done. Configures the yaml. Done. Now testing.
-> remote datadog interface be like: no logs for you dude you need to pay

ff***f*f*f

Fuck datadog, fuck that v6 version, good old tail -Fxx | someaggreate.js|sendmail will do...