Person: What do you do for a living?

Programmer: I'm an etymologist

Person: What does that mean?

Programmer: I work with bugs

I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.

I told him : "I am a full stack developer"

He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?

Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.

He: Like facebook?

Me: yes, exactly.

He: So you work for windows?

Me: What makes you think that?

He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?

Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

Interviewer: Any plans on pursuing Masters?

Me: I haven't thought about it so far

Interviewer: You know what, work here for 1-2 years then go do your Masters, then join Google or Facebook

Me: Ok :|

I work for my university's IT Helpdesk, I asked a customer what browser they were using and they said WiFi.... How do these people have six-figure jobs?!

<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**

Girl I met asked what I do for fun outside of work and training. Brain threw nullreference exception.

*company introduces no overtime pay during coronavirus*

"I've hit my monthly hours so what we doing for the rest of the month?"

Boss: "basically, we thought you could work for free" 😂 😂

"and what do you do for a living?"
"I study software engineering and work as a software engineer part time"
"Really? You don't look like it!"
"Excuse me? What do I have to look like?"

The stereotypes are strong in development...

Was just asked to take on even more work. Asked for a raise. "there's no room in the organization for a new position". Yes, but you can still pay me more.

I'm not comfortable enough to do more work without more pay. Sorry.

We'll see what happens.

New paradigm for assembly programming: WYSWNW - what you see will not work

Fucking clueless products owners.
Him: "I want a mobile app - how long"
Me: "Depends, what should it do?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Well what problem should it solve?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Who's it for?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Well I can't help you then!"
Him: "I need an estimate for my business plan"
Me: "OK - put 'eternity' down, and we can work backwards from there"

Jackass

I finally get in the mood to work on my side project and GUESS WHAT? THE API IM USING FOR IT IS FUCKING DOWN 😂🔫

Take a break folks,
From work,
From code,
From tension,
From bugs,

Take a car, drive to the country side, breathe the fresh air, ride horses,
Have a meal, stay for a day or two, without internet, and then Be back to work.

This is what we all need now :D

Friends brother: So what do you do for work?

Me: I am a DevOps engineer

FB: *blank stare* 😐

Me:I work with computers and fix servers.

FB: Awsome. Well my laptop been acting up lately. Can you..?

Me: NO

Credits: nixcraft

When someone at work says your Java multi threaded code is too advanced for other people to understand so you have to dumb it down. What part of constant learning in software they don't understand?

Someday in an embedded course:

Lecturer: "You'll want the following drivers and SDK for this lecrure. With some tweaks it'll also work on Windows."

Guy with shiny Mac infront: "What about Mac?"

Lecturer: "WTF? You don't use Mac for embedded systems." o.O

Me: lol 😁

I’ve finally gotten a desktop for work. So I don’t have to use my own mbp.

I think I’ve got enough screens, for now.
What annoys me is that none of them are same type, size or brightness

When I say I want to work for EA, this is what I mean.

You get paid to watch and analyze athletes. Fucking awesome job.

It's weird reading about everyone bitching about their PM / manager, and I'm here and have the best boss anyone can ask for. I work from home whenever I want, if I work extra I can always take that extra time off. If I work weekends I get 100% overtime pay. If I want to learn new tech for a project he tells me to go nuts.

What I'm really trying to say here is.. in all yo faces I guess. \o/

Just read that EU may planning regulating Algorithms...

What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?

They want that programmers make their Algorithms public accessible for transparency and say what algorithms are allowed to do, because people are scared of them?!

MY BRAIN HURTS AFTER THAT FUCKING GENERAL DATA PROTECTION BULLSHIT THEY WANT TO REGULATE HOW OUR PROGRAMS SHOULD WORK?!

AHDHSHSJSDHJABDJS SHDNSBDBSNSN *RAGEQUIT*

-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."

1. When you are inexperienced, probably you’ll need to accept any job.
2. Learn and discover what you prefer to working on.
3. Become an expert on you desired field.
4. You can choose where you would like to work.
Remember friends: Life is to short to work for an asshole.

Oh, i have to get up in about 5 hours for work, but hey, now i know what microservices are 😅

Me : For the last time, I am not a window cleaner!
Old Friend : Oh, so what do you do ?
Me: I work at IT.
Old Friend : With computers and stuff ?
Me : YES.
Old Friend : Woah like with apple computers ?
Me : Nah, I work with Windows.

Pun intended.

Neighbor: So what do you do for work?

Me: I'm a software engineer.

Neighbor: Oh I don't even know what that means. What exactly do you do?

Me: I write code for Fortune 500 companies while sitting on my couch in my underwear.

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

After deciding to do what I love every day nothing feels like work any more, because continuous change and improvement is what I live for.

That is all. ✌🏼

!Rant

Meanwhile I work 1,5years for a company which makes AutoCAD plugins. I have created a dozen of plugins now, some very complicated.

Yesterday I started on the simplest plugin, a tutorial for new colleagues. It literally prints "hello world" after giving a command.
Guess what... I can't get it to work 😖

After struggling for weeks with SSL settings I finally asked @linuxxx for help.

Guess what, he made it work in about 5 minutes!

My boss has no idea what he is doing. Scary for a senior programmer, with 20 years of experience. The guy keeps calling methods statically, in a object oriented project. And can't understand why it won't work.

when you work for a place that has plain text passwords in the db. lol
I asked head of department if he knew what salting/hashing passwords was and he said no.... is this real life?

I took leave from work for a couple of days and guess what... 😁

After working for 5 years after getting my bachelor's, I have moved country and started work on a Master's.

Nothing is more humbling in CompSci than realising the depth of what you /don't/ know. Imposter syndrome, anybody?

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"

Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes

Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.

Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.

Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.

Is coding a hobby for you? Or is it work? For me its a hobby! What about you?

I work for Google and Facebook.

Well... is that really true?

Uh... well, does a cow work for a farmer?

Hmmm... not really voluntarily... the cow just kinda gets milked and then the farmer sells its milk.

Yeah. That’s what I do. They milk me for my attention - and then they sell that to corporate advertisers.

Yeah... Hmmm... well, I guess you do work for them... but you don’t get paid...

I can still put it on my resume though, right?

Applied for a company and received a contract today. I can't believe what I'm looking at. (Graduate software engineer)

- £30k starting salary
- 28 days annual holiday
- no benefits whatsoever
- no work schemes
- reserve the right to tell you to work overtime without extra pay
- reserve the right to work you from home on weekends in emergencies
- you will only work on what they tell you to and nothing else

This company has awful reviews all over the internet which I didn't see until after applying.

Going into their offices for interviews, all I saw was a bunch of slaves on their screens, no one talking, no one smiling.

Spoke to the CTO whose words were, quote: "we only care about making money, we don't care what people are saying about us as long as they are using our service and paying us."

What the actual fuck?

1. Aim is to complete work as soon as possible and not worrying about good coding practices.

2. Senior Engineers take credits for everything that Junior Engineers work on. And that Junior Engineers are just shadows

3. Credits? Team lead and senior engineers take. Complains/issues/delay in product delivery? Junior Engineers are blamed

4. Testing? Test cases? What are they? Why do we need them? That's what my team lead asked.

5. Take work without even knowing what it is or what is to be done and then just keep carry forwarding it.

6. Junior engineer dares to point out any mistake, he/she is very rude and is taunted forever

And many more.....

I feel like a man out of time and space.
I can work from anywhere so I am nowhere.
I work all the time, and I have no time to work.
Hours, days, and weeks. They all feel the same. The gentle barrier of sleep that denotes when one day ends and another begins is barely remembered if observed at all.

What the fuck did I sign up for.

Tracing thousands of lines of codes at work to find something for almost 2-3 hours.

All of a sudden I can't remember what I am looking for anymore.

#StartingAgain :(

The thing is that I have told my family a few times what I really do at work. But I have to be honest: explaining what a backend dev does is hard without showing a GUI 😂

Sometimes I even think for myself: wtf am I doing here... 😁

My first time working with Java and SQL queries(SQL with little/no knowledge): created separate db for each entities and hoped it to work together after the coding was finished.

what a noob!

Look what I got!
I don't know what do to with it, except for work related stuff.

It was a girl who made the interview...
Girl:bla bla bla work stuff
Me: just staring and answering dumb questions..
Girl : do you find me attractive..?
Me: wtf like aaa what I'm gay sorry.
Girl :so you became gay because of me...?
Me: these questions aren't related to work... Will you continue or what?
Girl : looked me bad....
and went to the next room and a guy came. Fast forward...
im working with her for 4 years now...
(hope you don't hate me for this)

With all these posts lately about raspPi’s and I’m just here waiting for mine to arrive 😞

Stop taunting me with your Pi!

Now to work out what to do with it before it arrives.

Fun drinking game: work on a legacy system for a few hours. Every time you say "what the fuck?" equals 1 shot.

Several minutes waiting for site to work after clicking on "required cookies only". Is this really what privacy laws were aiming for?

1) Glassdoor

2) Only work on open source projects so you can see what you're getting yourself into.

3) Avoid job postings that use the words "polygot" and "passion" in the same sentence.

4) Work for yourself. Build a product or service to make you money, and if it doesn't pay for itself sell it.

What happens if you break your hand/arm/wrist and it requires an arm sling (picture attached)? Can you still work or what? I'm assuming it varies from company to company or something. Do you have anything in place for preparation for this event?

Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)

Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU

typical conversations with nondev coworkers.

so what r ur hobbies?
le me: i code and stuff..

for fun?
le me: i code and stuff..

i mean, like what u do after work.
le me: i code and stuff

but isnt that what you do for work?
le me: Oh My Fckn God You're Right!

I have finally started to work on my personal site, just made the best photo for the background in my opinion

Any tips of what I should add or remove on the photo and any tips of what sections to add on the website

I don't get what people don't understand about how monthly bills work.
"But I already paid you once!"
"Yeah, for the work we did two months ago. This is the bill for the work we did last month."
"... But I already paid you once!"
"Yes, and then you asked us to do more work"
"... ... But I already paid you once! Why are you trying to rip me off!?!"
*sigh*

I'm an idiot. I fully acknowledge it. I paid a deposit online for someone to do website work for a client and that person has now completely disappeared. At least I have what I think is his address. Time to call law enforcement on his ass.

*clears throat*

Building turn based enemy AI for a strategy game can go fuck itself...

I'm normally able to work out other forms of AI but as soon as I try to work out how to build AI for TBS, I just seem to have my brain exit my body....

I've been at this for fucking hours and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing .-.

I can't tell what bothers me the most about this ad... The font size in the IDE, the random mix of unrelated computer equipment, the amazing opportunity to "work for free", or the mirrored displays

Today:

Rando Person: Also this doesn't work, and this, and thi----

Me: Wait, what doesn't work and where? Show me...

Rando Person: Here see-

Me: Stop ... see how that says 'beta' and not to use it?... and how did you find this / get access to this?

Rando Person: Yeah the customer is using it.

Me: For fucks sake....

Germans get made fun of for being focused on work and not wanting to have fun (at work).

But it's exactly what I like about them. I would join and work at a German company in a split second.

Fuck all the small talks and fun Fridays, let's just get the work done, get paid and go home and have fun at home.

What the fuck is wrong with you Windows?
Why the hell do you take so much time to load?
Actually, FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU FOR BEING THE ONLY OS WHERE HIGH END GAMES WORK.
FUCK YOU FOR BEING SO SO SO SLOW LIKE YOUR GRUB.

That feeling when you about to leave at work and ready for the long holiday, and suddenly there's a 🔥. You need to investigate and fix the issue. What a day!

Here with my books just bought these new 8 monitors just to use them for my marketing analytics work, but do you know what i love more than these books and 8 monitors that i just bought for my marketing analytics work? My brand new lamborghini

Once again, what kind of idiots work for UNILAD?

What is this hate towards fullstack developers ? I suppose more you know the better ? I think you can specialize later, based on your work task.

Fullstack is the way for learning addicts as me.

I have found the solution to my general distaste for frontend work:

Bourbon

You see, i generally dislike working on the frontend. Mostly due to it being what I do every week at work. But during my xmas break I decided to look more into some advanced css to get shit done in more effective and better architectured ways.

SCSS makes it somewhat better. But what really makes it awesome is the bourbon.

Yay for alcohol.

In my defense, I barely ever drink. A couple of glasses before a coding session serve me pretty good.

What the fuck is up with interviewing these days. Now I have to invent a video game and work for free for ten hours just to find out I have no idea what the fuck video programming has to do with frontend. You kids need to figure this shit out. It’s really fucking annnoying.

Just found out my child’s after school care has been cancelled right before the new term, for fucks sake, how about some warning! Fuck knows what to do about work now. Oh and here is a desk

Boss: Where should i put this piece of code so the android app will work correctly?
Me: Maybe here and we run some tests.
Boss: What? You built the app so you have to know where I should write the code for the endpoint and your app will work. No time for tests. And no update.

Fuck you boss.

Just lost 2 hours of work because XCode decided to crash for no fucking reason. What a hot piece of garbage. Fuck XCode. FUCK.

Yesterday hr called me for a meeting 1 on 1 that lasted for over 1 hour.

Me: i work on my side project when i get home every day

Hr: ohhh.. so you do have time to work on another project aside from ours?

Me: what? I said i work at my project after work when i come hom-

Hr: so you have that much free tim ok how about this. Would you like to work on another project for our clients? So you'd be working on 2 projects-

Me: ...

Hr: one day you work on this primary project the next day you work on the secondary project

---

Corporate people really think giving me MORE work with NO increase of payment is a REWARD???? Go FUCKV yourselves

When small things get big and don't work and you wonder for hours what is wrong with your code ... only to find out the problem is in the framework you use.

Ubuntu: Lulz your trackpad drivers don't work and there's no solution other than compiling them yourself or something it might not even work because it's for a different model but just hope and pray ok? also your wifi obviously fucking won't work. What, are you retarded?

Manjaro: Ye I gotchu. Mouse works outta the box. WiFi too

When you become or became a programmer / software engineer, what are or did you reward yourself with for your hard work and success? For me, I want a Subaru STI😁

Do you think that "Work From Home" or "Remote Work" tends to reduce the work life boundary for the employees?

What I think is that Managers feel fine pinging employees at any time of the day. And as employees either you get good at ignoring messages or work outside the working hours.

a lot of devs just don't have the first clue of what they are doing

they haven't put in the work

they'll blame absolutely everything else (language, framework, pattern, etc.) instead of actually putting in the work and making it easier for themselves

sad

"The great thing about personal work is that it can shape your commercial work. Clients see what you create for yourself and that can be the starting point for a new project, which closes the cap between the work you love making and the work you get paid for." - Gemma O’Brien

Left my previous cushy job for a start-up and a paycut. Can't work in a project that still uses CVS and being the only one who knows what git is.

I see a lot of rants about Project Managers (PMs). As someone who might work as that in the future, what are the some do's and don'ts for that role?

I work for a consulting company, my boss comes into the room full of engineers trying to work on Adwords campaign and asks us what words to use. "Should I use blockchain, I heart that's popular. What about AR?" None of us have ever touched any of those technologies and he's going to try and market us as such to some poor potential client he's going to B.S to. Get me out of here.

How do you guys deal with work that doesnt really care about what you do?
I mean everyday i come to work i make my own schedule and think of things to do, then do them and at the end of the day noone really cares.

I’ve created a huge inhouse analysis tool and that was my job for a long while untill the project was mostly done. Now it feels like i just go to work to sit there for the hours and collect the paycheck, i watch youtube for half of the day and noone cares. Noone really knows what i do there. I feel like shit because i need to fight with myself everyday that i didnt finish something, but noone besides me really even knows of what i do though. I work alone and I think thats a big part of it. What should I do?

Looking for a random pic for work I typed "img" on DuckDuckGo and child pornography appeared.
I sent an email to report the crap, but no reply back.
What should I do more?

Being on personal leave for a funeral but can't stop thinking of what I have to do when I get back to work 😣

"customers don't know what they want until we've shown them"

Is it just me that feels this a lot? I build a lot of tools for my own use at work, and then suddenly everyone wants it after seeing what they can do...

It's kinda nice to have a long weekend for a change to work on my endless list of unfinished side projects and code what I want to code, and not having to use fucking Windows 11 on a slow-ass work laptop.

Got a senior dev at work.

The guy is good at his job, no doubt, but his insecurity drives me up the wall.

- Constantly double checks work done by non-seniors.
- Setup a policy where only seniors can code review.
- Tells non-seniors not to give out advice as they don't know what they're talking about.
- Edits pull requests for you.
- Demands unobtainable quality for insignificant pieces of work.
- Patronising teams messages on the regular.

We're all just trying to get work done and he's always acting like we haven't got enough stripes on the badge.

I've been using python in my work for about the past 2 years. I came from c++ and I still don't know how I feel about it. What do you think about python?

I started searching for a job as I'm insecure at my current position because of this pandemic. What I found is ridiculous.

Companies are looking for junior developers with an experience of a senior developer ready to work for a salary of an intern 😭

Sometimes I feel like I have to hire a boss for myself. I would tell what shall I work on, and his job would be schedule my time and make deadlines.

Found file called 'bullshit' in my work folder with list of packages and no comment whatsoever. I wonder what did my past self wanted to do with those packages... What was this list for? Sounds important. And back then (month ago) I thought it was obvious. Sometimes I wonder what games is my past self playing with me...

its 2:30 here and ill have to wake up for work at 7:00 and im trying to figure out what the hell is redux

love helping users that can describe their problem and then we have the "other" side of users, the life sucking golems of collective stupidity.

You get "software does not work!" and asks for error message or description of what doesn't work and get same response "it does not work".

After a few rounds in the "what is wrong support circle" it ends with user has changed PC to one were the software is not installed...

"it does not work" no effing shit sherlock you want me to install some IQ with it?

What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??

Things I get paid for but shouldn't:
Yesterday afternoon with an extra half hour staying late trying to work out why my code doesn't do what I think it should be doing.
Things I don't get paid for but should:
The 5 minutes in the shower this morning when I worked out what I'd fucked up.

So here I'm, going for an interview but I'm not allowed to show my previous work, since it might give compatitive edge to the organisation interviewing me. But still it does not matter if my supervisor boasts about the work in public forums like conferences.....what kind of secrecy is this :'(

After 3 weeks of interviews, emails and preparation, I've finally been turned down for an internship at a local company that would have been fucking rad to work at.

What am I drinking tonight fellas?

Worked 2 weeks on hunting a memory leak on a product.

Ended up writing object tracker to find the leak(ironically it was in garbage collector). Found the leak and fixed it. It sounds cool but what I pushed was 9 lines commented out 1 line added for 2 weeks work..

Doesn’t feel very fulfilling to work for 2 weeks to comment out few lines. Only silver lining is that I might turn my object tracker into a library for colleagues to use.

P.s: not a linux or windows environment so tools like walgrind aren’t available.

What worked for other might not work for you, so be your best self 🤓

What got you into programming?

For me, it were the games. I was and still am amazed by how games work, from one side of the planet to the other side, how good the visual effects are...

What is this? A flow chart for learning how algorithms work?
Nope! I call it: dynamic timetable 😎

!rant well that was it. Had my last day at work yesterday - let's see what the future has to offer for me :)

What is the best PC spec for development?

Things I mostly work on: Node frameworks, React Native and some Java and C++ (QT)

I know that even a dual core is enough for this but it takes a while even for a webpack build to complete in my current build.

I fucking hate my job so much. I feel like I work harder than anyone at my level, yet I can't get promoted. I'm so fucking sick of putting in effort for nothing. We all get paid really well, and yet no one seems to give a shit about the work. Meanwhile I'm busting my ass, for what? No promotion.

For promo to next level, the projects I work on aren't supposed to matter, just the execution. And yet, I get told I don't have enough impact when I'm interested in promo? How can I, I have no fucking choice what I work on you fuckers.

Fucking bullshit job.

Seriously,
when a company asks to recruit a developer, but only female developer for a regular post.
What IS exactly the work to do? 🤔

Guys, I have an interview Friday to a company I don't necessarily want to work for but I need the job because I just finished a coding boot camp not too long ago. What are some templates for Fintech, business macho companies that I can work on? Also, my resume sucks ass. Any advice is appreciated.

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

Boss expects everybody should be bullied by her and that we work extra hours for free. What?

Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.

Every developer I know from work and uni uses either Linux or Mac for development (most of them are web devs), never seen anyone using Windows for development purposes :/

How, what and why do you develop on Windows? Not bashing, just curious

When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.

Developers are the only people that knock off for work at 8pm, and at 7am your project manager wants to see something new on where you left off. What happened to fairness?

If I'm not productive during the day, idk what you expect holding me 3h after work will do.

Maybe not keep your employees in perpetual crunch for 2 years, and then berate them for missing the deadlines that YOU SET!

Say what you want about imposter syndrome - I just realized why I'm cut out for this line of work.

My intelligence is artificial.

Programming excel macros is the worst thing one could do to himself. VBA is the most cancerous anderen inconsistent language I had the "pleasure" to work with. I have problems like the following all the time for no apparent reason. For example: you script something, test is and everything is working just fine and dandy. Next day when you run the script, guess what...i doesnt work anymore. For no apparent reason what so ever. Maybe its just me, but i just want to hang myself working with it.
Anyone else has had such "Love story" like mine?

You're working on a project, your boss has set you tasks to complete. You complete all the tasks and make pull requests of all the work you've done. Your boss is busy and you don't know what to do next? What do you do? Is it unethical to work on personal projects in work hours, because you're not being paid for that? How do you find other stuff to do?

project-manager : what are you doing ?

me : just having some coffee .

project-manager : stop all shit go to work .

me : ok sir . got up and went for my laptop .

my mother screamed at me and screamed "what
are you doing ?"

i then realised it all a night_mare

YES!

Finally got our CI/CD line working correctly after two days worth of intensive work.

Got me thinking - what do you use for CI/CD?

Wouldn't it be kinda cool to have a project section in devRant? Like the collab section but for projects that are finished/work in progress. I'd love to see what people here make and it would be a great way for people to get exposure and feedback on their work.

!rant

What kind of Easter eggs have you guys added to your projects (personal or work)?

There was one I added to a command-line utility for work that, as long as you ran the right command on an OS with a GUI, would open a browser and navigate to "Never gonna give you up" on YouTube. 😎

What if we had a universal distribution with pre-made hardware that could run software from any operating system such as macOS, Windows, Linux, Android, and iOS without the need for dual-booting or emulation?
Would it be possible for this to work perfectly?

Working on something...

-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?

Attempt a few fixes...

-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?

Attempt other changes...

-Why is it still not working!?

Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...

-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?

Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...

-...Why does it work now...

What is it like to work for respected software companies? Most of my career I've been doing bullshi@ work I started to hate the entire field. Is there hope out there?

In this project we're working on, there are so many abbreviations for so many things.

+ "Hey, can you help me test XXX through YYY API?"
- "Sure. But may i ask, what do XXX and YYY actually stand for?"
+ "Well, no one knows"

So people can work on something for months without really knowing the name of what they're working on. Good to know.

What hours do you work?

I work 9-6, most people at my office work 7-4 or 8-5. I have the flexibility to work when I want, but never get to bed early enough to start earlier than 9. I feel behind when I get in the office because most of my coworkers and clients have already been at for an hour or 2.

When do you work and why? Can you tell if it’s impacted your career at all?

What do you do when you don't have any assigned work in office and idle for 2 weeks..?
I'm already frustrated. And I don't know to pretend I'm working infront of manager 😁

Now... I understand 2FA is to make things more secure, and I do appreciate it. BUT can we please work out a damn solution for people who work in an agency for other corporates which only have one shared account across the agency that bundles one phone number or mobile app.

What if people are on leave or sick? I need stupid 2FA to be able to login/work. uhhhhhhh.....

Me: "I have sent my resignation letter, What happens to my Saturday duty, which will be converted to Vacation Leave?"

HR:"Vacation Leave is for employees who have rendered for 1 year only."

Me:"Then what happens to my Saturday work?"

HR: 🤷‍♀️

FUCK YOU, FUCK THAT COMPANY. I HAD TO WORK FOR SATURDAY BECAUSE IT GAVE ME BENEFITS, BUT INSTEAD I HAVE TO WORK WITH NO PAY!

Heyo fellow i3wm-users.
Please give me some inspiration for my next setup.
What are your color-settings do you have,
What applauncher do you use,
What programs work really well with i3 or something completely different?

If the corporate work life needs to be taught in school, what do you think the subject would look like?

For example, I think time management and people management should have been there.

Looking for development work in my country Fiji is really hard. I really don't know what my options are.

Oh, you've found a work around for your browser caching? No problem, here's DNS caching so you can fuck with your code again... and not know what the issue is

~ Sincerely, ISP

What is windows actually looking for when it's "looking for a solution", it's like a kid trying their hardest to spell a word. There's a chance it'll work, but realistically there is no hope.

Indie game devs: I have a couple of questions for you guys, sorry for my naivity and the subjectivity of some of the questions.

Is it as fun as it sounds?
Do you work as a team?
What tech/language do you use?
What platform/os do you produce games for?
Is your primary income from making games?

Im asking because I would like to get into it, but want to get a realistic view of what it's like.

Thanks guys. Please also take this chance to post your work.

I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*

What you sitting around on devrant for. Dont you have work to do?

Compiling..

Oh ok, carry on then :)

Really not in the mood for work.

But since that is not an acceptable reason to ask for a day off, I wonder what excuses I can make to get out of working today... 🤔

Rant

Team lead has no idea whats going in project , who is doing what work , nothing at all. Come to our team once a week and got award for successfully managing the project.
Real bullshit

Project manager: "we need someone who isn't busy to work on the database for a few weeks"

*Fullscreen picture of Windows blue screen of death*

Me: "what the fuck bug after bug"

Project manager: "ouch you better work on that ASAP we are behind"

Coworker: -_-

Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lately I've been feeling really demotivated to work on my own personal dev project and its been like this for weeks now. I really don't know how to change that 😣

So I want to find out what motivates you to work on your own dev projects? 😊

On Sunday nights I hate doing what I love for a job. Lying in bed for hours too excited to sleep. Brain won't switch off about the cool things I'll be too tired to work on properly in a few hours

To have a genuine passion for what you do even if your work impacts that positivity.

Anyone working remotely here? What kind of work do you do? I have been doing gamedev for 4.5years and want to go remote, thinking of transition to webdev/backend, good idea?

As a novice programmer, learning about the logging package in Python and how to utilize it is really exciting to me. It's basically what I've been working with recently (besides the script for macOS that won't fucking work).

"The great thing about personal work is that it can shape your commercial work. Clients see what you create for yourself and that can be the starting point for a new project, which closes the cap between the work you love making and the work you get paid for." - Gemma O’Brien

So that laptop I got for R100 can do 4k... like wow..

For those who missed the first rant, we had an auction at work and I bought and old HP Elitebook for R100 which about the same as what a Big Mac meal costs...

adding curve balls to my baseball app today.

What are you doing today for work?

I have dual-boot Windows and Linux and use Windows just for gaming. After a hard day's work, I'm like "Let's relax by playing Witcher 3 for a couple of hours". So, I restart, select Windows and guess what? Updates... Mother. Fucking. Updates...😭😭😭

Senior developer :: So, how's the work for maintaining the code base going.

Me(Intern) :: It's pretty easy because I have treasure

Senior developer :: what treasure ??

Me(intern) :: Stack Overflow.

Senior developer be like

!rant

I love to work on my machine, and being it
my work-horse for school and side-projects, I have a neat dualboot of Windows 10 and (driver-related) Ubuntu Mate.

Ditched Mate because screen tearing, got Cinnamon, but I have to say, that W10 UI appeals a lot for me, so... what kind of Windows is this?

!rant
I have a (imo) great idea for a small game, but I have no idea where to start or in what order I should work on certain features...
My programming skills themselves should suffice, I just have no idea what to begin with...
Does anyone here have any suggestions?

Ok, so we know you've not had any work to do for a week. Here's what we'll do - pick up this task to copy & paste shit code from one project to another. Don't worry yourself with what it does.

FMDL

What was the worst team work experience you ever had?
Before I share my Dark experience that has been gone for 4 years! Let me have some of yours!

When you learn to work with unix but you forget what "man" stands for because english is not your native language so you man man...

Its "manual" btw...

Working on a project in which the work is planned around what I'm already good at, isn't much use.

Yes, the person who is paying for the project, would want only someone with experience (good experience) to work on the project.

But really I'd like to work on stuff which will be challenging (in terms of learning new stuff). So yes, I'd like to get paid for learning!

When client says "i think its sth small" does not mean he knows what he's talking about. It means "i'm not gonna fucking pay for the extra work"

When you first start programming:
"I know how all of these functions work, now what can I actually use that for?.."

Haven't ranted about anything for quite a while... So, is everything perfect in my work and life ? Or, is something reallllly wrong that I haven't even realized what it is ??

I was watching cards @ rams on Monday. Commercials were on so naturally I was using my phone when suddenly I hear the slack's notification sound from somewhere in the room. I look up thinking what teammate is messaging me and what could they possibly want, only to realize there's a slack advert on and the notification sound came from it. Why would slack show ad mid NFL games AND put a sound that everyone associates with work? I am 🤏 close to suing slack for causing work trauma outside work hours

I really hope copilot can make us have the discussion about what right companies have to exploit publically accessible work as fodder for their machine learning systems that they earn money on. Copilot is 100% about trying to monetize githubs users without paying for it.

client asks me to setup a form that emails on their site... no problem. didnt know what they actually wanted was for me to set up an email server.... im a terrible terrible sys-admin. no one should hire me for that kind of work.

Shut the quack up!!
Quack you!
For quacks sake!
What the quack?!
Jesus quack!
Good quack!

Ok, scratch the last two.. but others..this might actually work.. o.O

Styling Newsletters is like time travel..time travel in a retarded past that doesnt knew what beauty modern css is, also fuck your sincerly MS Outlook for being a propritary cunt.

display:block will not work for MS Outlook, cause, well reasons.

*writes function*
*doesn't work*
*adds more shit to function*
*now can't think of what more you would need to add for it to work*

*changes random signs around for 30 minutes*

A sub company of the company I work for is about to be shut down. It makes me sad because I developed everything on the platform. All my work just gone.. at least I learned a lot about what NOT to do though

So I started work as a software developer during college, and the people there were really nice to me and endured my constant absence from work because of college stuff.
Now that I graduated, I got an offer as a software engineer for 1.5 times the salary I currently have.
Should I take this job and forget what the people at my current work did for me?

How do you background work in Android? Easy, just use one of the following (which may or may not work as expected depending on what version of Android it's running on, or how long it happens to run for, or what's in the background or foreground, or what triggers it, or what wind the direction is blowing in, or how long since you last gave a fuck)

background Service, or foreground Service, or IntentService, or AlarmManager, or JobScheduler, or WorkManager, or FUCK YOU ANDROID

I'm a web developer for a year and I have a work experience girl coming in on Monday that I have to babysit.

she probably won't know how to code. what to do?

Devs with gaming mice.
What hotkeys / macros do you use?

For years I've been using gaming gear with additional buttons to map various hotkeys and macros to speed up my work flow.

Let's share the use cases here.

I assigned work to my minions aka Jr. Devs for the first time. Feels great. Is this what being a CEO feels like?

I'm curious about what @dfox and @trogus do for work.

1. Finding what I really am
2. Time out for Travel out of country from work
3. Buy own Car
4. Marriage 😜

Ive installed php before but for some fucking reason it just refuses to fucking work. Im not installing extra bullshit like some people tell me because I had it work exactly how I wanted it to on my desktop but now fucking hell what the hell is the damn deal

If boss doesn't like you, what would you do ?
1- try to make him happy with your work?
2- search for new job.
p.s boss insulting too much after anything goes wrong.
What is the professional way to deal with that kind of situation?

Not a rant!

But I want to know how much do programmer make? (Money wise) and would it be better to be a freelancer or to work for a company? What are some pros and cons for working in a company and for being a freelancer.

If you could have devRant for one platform, or a tool for devRant. What would it be?

I'll work to get it done.

Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.

What coding at work is supposed to look like:
class myclass {
public:
void myfunc;
void.... And so on so forth.

What coding at work actually looks like:
class myclass {
pub--"Hey can get line one? <name> is asking for you."

(20 minutes later)

public:
void myfunc;
vo--"Hey <same name> wants to talk to you again."

Programming doesn't give me gray hair, distractions do.

Next month I am going to work as a tester(1rst work in IT), have no expiriance at all.
I would like to prepare, but what should I prepare for, what should I learn/repeat/exersice?
Thx

When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...

in the beginning I had the order to only work on my local machine. After my boss told me to work with him in a "team". I have asked him what version control system he uses for his project. He's been in this bussines for atleast 30 years, and he asked me with a serious face what in the world version control is. I couldn't resist to giggle.

Client deescalation needed and intervention by company leader...

Client refuses to test - too much work they say.
Client wants a lot of changes - but cannot define what.
But most frustrating... Even as we tried to with all patience that was left to find out what they were doing aka how they work, what work flows, documents and so on were involved, they basically started a team discussion and seemed to work all differently...

And the project should be a complete sale and warehouse solution, suited and written for their needs.

Really? How can a company like this work?

It's not the first time I've dealt with hard projects or 'weird' customers, but really the first time I have no fucking clue what I should do.

Can someone please summon Ctulhu?

I have a job opportunity that would require me to move cross-country. The process would be that I do contract work for them for about six months while I work out the details of moving my family. The position is remote, even once I move.

Does anyone have experience being a contractor and/or remote employee and would like to share your knowledge? What's it like? What don't you like? What pitfalls should I avoid?

What laptop do you use for your Linux work machine? My Lenovo is dying after just 6 months.

!dev
I usually don't get attached to the company I work for. Rather I'm more attached to the work what I do.

But I don't know what happened to me today! When I resigned from my company, somewhere deep down, I felt bad! 😥

Hey, freelancer programmers, web developers, etc. I need your help. I’m writing a “Mother of All Blogs” post about why clients should a) pay you for your work and b) expect to pay you your asking rate. I’m trying to make the argument more forcefully that you get what you pay for with this work and that when you cheap out you only hurt your business bottom line. So, what are your experiences (positive and negative) or points that you would make to a potential client, who wants you to work super cheap or even for free, that you find are irrefutable about this topic? I want to include as many as I can! Thanks.

What would you do if for one day the ctrl, v, c keys didn’t work?

What drop shadow did DevRant use for their UWP app, Microsoft recently released blog theme shadow, but it's work well with the rounded elements. I guess DevRant use different technique.

Today a colleague copy pasted the question from stack overflow in his code, wondering for half an hour why it didn't work. It was quite amusing to be honest seeing him rant around knowing what he did

"The whole essence of good drawing—and of good thinking, perhaps—is to work a subject down to the simplest form possible and still have it believable for what it is meant to be." - Chuck Jones

worked on a couple projects at work for a week. Forgot to back them up to the svn. The time comes to show my boss what I've done and the files are gone. woops.