I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

Real HR policy ...

HR Manager in Heaven!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "

"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules."

And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies

Hey everyone!

devRant will be going down on Friday, July 7th around 10:30pm EDT so we can do some database maintenance and restructuring of our cluster. It hopefully won't be down for more than about 30 minutes or so, and during that time you should see our "down for maintenance" message.

If you usually use devRant while you're on the toilet (we know many do!), we apologize and suggest you try to schedule around this!

Please let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience.

Production is down

Me to Customer :What did you do?
Customer: Nothing
Me blurt out: The fuck you didn't!
Customer: ...
Me: ...(fuckfuckfuck)
Customer:... Well, I did run these scripts..
Me: (oh thank Christ)
Me: ok, I'll get right on it (Click)
Me to TeamLead: client called. Their prod is down!
TeamMate: did he say he didn't do anything?
Me:Yes
TeamMate: ..... Every fucking time...

For 2 years I tried to make my boss pay me what I know I should be worth. Over the same time the team morale took a nosedive down into an avalanche.
Today I told him, that I am sick of being kept waiting and listening to excuses. I want the payment I know I deserve and I want it before the end of the year. I believe to have stayed perfectly calm and factual, even told him "I am sorry, I really tried it, but I cannot take this anymore".
He found a way to put a (literal) "fuck you" and a verbal middle finger into other people's mounts, so he "didn't say it himself" and shut down the meeting telling me to look for another job.

Actually I have not felt as satisfied in my job for a long time, as I have in that very moment.

Time for a new start.

The worst bad practice I do is I keep going to work.

Many years down the road I will probably look back and say I should have spent more time with my wife (who are you?) and children (wow, you are tall).

Never let your computer know that you are in hurry. Computers can smell fear. They slow down if they know that you are running out of time.

recruiter:
I see you worked for 5 years at xyz and you used c# but your CV says you used other technologies like sql and you did testing.. So how much of your time was spent writing c#?

me:
Most of the time.. Maybe 60%.

recruiter:
Ok, let me work that out... ok I will put down that you have 3 years c# experience.

Dual booting: for when you're not advanced enough to use Linux all the time, but you know windows will let you down

One time I wanted to use my mouse and it didn't work, the light was on and everything seemed normal, I flipped it upside down and I found a troll face sticker on the laser led ...

*Corona Virus Lock-down*
-University Prof: "Now You have lots of time to do your projects. from now, you will have 1 project each week"

-Boss: "You are at home all day! can you increase your working hours?"

-Me: "Fuck Corona"

Also a big “fuck you” to whoever decided under any circumstance holding the power button down on a computer case meant anything other than shut this mother fucker all the way down and try the fuck again.

Gahhh. When I hold the power button I don’t what you to sleep, I want you to die! I’m electronically smothering your bitch ass. When I’m holding down the power button to restart, the computer should feel like it’s being waterboarded! Like these may be it’s last moments on Earth if it doesn’t act right and get in compliance! No it’s not nap time, it’s time to shut up or shut down...forever!

One of our CEO: “we dont have the internet speed that we have paid for - I will check it out”

Developers: “please dont, remember last time?”

CEO: “the net will only be down for a couples of minuts”

Developers: “please dont touch anything, and do it after hours”

1 hour later we still dont have the internet restored.

FML!

Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.

Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"

Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉

My lil girl has a habit of bringing me her rubber ducks whenever she sees me sitting down and just chilling. But this far she has (funny enough) done it twice whilst I am coding.

This time she got me super duck!!!

:) i love my lil girl

2 devs in the office:
- Man, Stackoverflow is down. :/
- Time to take a day off ...

Lecturer :" Never ever create UML diagrams because it is a waste of time. Only people who can't code create these stupid things. Just sit down and start coding. "

plot twist
linuxxx is some of the most advanced and efficient AI ever developed, and actually uses devrant to scope out security-aware devs and take them down 1 production server at a time

Rantish story time!

Today I impressed myself. I was told in all seriousness by a PM "couldn't we do this API in HTML?" and kept a straight face. Even though he doubled down, following with "oh, do you think the language isn't powerful enough?".

Good times!

You absolute piece of shit.
Fuck you.
I hope your sleeves slide down every single time you wash your hands.

I'm redoing my setup right now and getting genuinely scared that when I turn on my server, the power will go down.

I'm using so many devices at the same time 😅

I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to all the pressure at work, and my boss sat me down one day and said "Don't take it so personally, it's only work".
He explained that you simply cannot make all the people happy all the time, you can only do your best, and that is good enough.

LISTEN UP! This is a robbery 🔫👺. We wanna harm no one. We're after devRant's 500++ - not yours. Your 500++ is protected by dfox. You're not gonna loose a stress ball. Think about your code. Don't try be a hero. Now shut up, and stay down. And this will be over in no time!

My Sunday night:

8p.m. “finally, down to one small function.”
9p.m. "shit."
10p.m. "why......"
1a.m. "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa finally done! Time for test cases."
1:15a.m. "shit."
2a.m. "why TF..."
2:36a.m. "Done, done, done!!!!" *Submit
2:37a.m. writing this post.

3 years, part time, $0.

I used to volunteer my time to an old text based rpg, handling code changes, sysadmin maintenance and the likes - back when those were a thing in the mid 2000's and money wasn't my issue in life - free for them, experience for me - win win!

Was something to get my hands dirty back in the day and contribute to an active community, but since then that place has shut down and been disbanded.

If Katie calls one more time, I'll hunt her down.

I said I don't want to be on your stupid caller's list. She said okay, then proceeds to call me 50 more times today.

!rant

My laptop feels complete again. I'm back up to 32gb RAM after being down to 8 for a few months...

Now i can have all the virtual machines open without worrying about maxing out my system... time to go break things while I learn what they do! 😄

* me listening to something while coding
* something goes wrong, trying to fix it..

Takes time and no solution.

- ok this is serious *put headphones down*

Ebay app: Hey, look at this offer, you can save 30%!

Me: Urgh, alright, let me have a look
*Clicks notification*
*Offer seems alright, took me by surprise honestly*

*Scrolls down a bit*

Ebay app: ITEM DOESN'T SHIP TO YOUR LOCATION *evil laugh*

Fucking gets me every time

Told the recruiter about 4 times before my lunch interview that I was a working student (I could only take part time jobs).

Just as we sat down and got our food he asked me where I currently worked, and I gently reminded him that I was still, in fact, a student.

He had this weir look on his face as I had tried to trick him into a free lunch, as all the positions he had was for full time jobs.

Still ate the lunch and had awkward small talk the entire time.

I just rewrote a linq-2sql query which cut the execution time down from 17 minutes to 20 seconds! I felt like a genius for all of five seconds, until I realised it was me who had written the original query... Now I don't know if I'm an idiot or a genius...

So our company's internet was down. Network admin was really pissed as there is suppose to be a notification from the ISP about down time. Network admin called the ISP customer services to inquire about the problem and they said "Sir, we wanted to email you but our network was down too."
Admin turned from being really angry to laughing out loud real quick...

When I die I want whoever wrote this excel program to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one more time.

Me: *tries to debug JS code for 5434910946th time on colleagues computer*

Me soon after realising: clears cache

Both of us: look down in sorrow

Best decision ever was to have my phone muted all the time. My overall stress levels went down significantly. I encourage you to try the same. At first is kinda weird as you actually miss the fuss o having your phone vibrating or ringing all the time, but then all you have is peace.

Just optimized a bottleneck function in a program down from 160ms to 3ms. First time I've ever used a profiler, and it feels awesome.

Working with clients Across the globe.

12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.

3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.

🙄 Windows asked me to install the update thrice. I asked it to remind me later. The fourth time it just shut my system down and started updating..

This is what you call a constructive and understanding OS-User relationship 🌝

Had a great time yesterday explaining a C++ dev on a UNIX box that yes, he actually has to shut down his machine before adding this new extra 8gb memory...

Fuck i love regex... managed to replace a series of loops and if statements with regex and cut execution time from 60ms down to 5ms

My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"
I commented on that post

"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".

When the boss believes that adding more devs to a project in the last week of a three month stint will "get it out the door faster".

Because baking that cake at twice the temperature for half the time worked so well last time, we'll do it while the oven is rolling down a cliff.

Advice for all future developers: for every project you work on - write down the time you've spent on it, which technologies (eg. Languages, stack, DBMS.. ) you used and what the subject of the project was. You'll likely gonna need it for future job applications and it's hard to come up with every detail after 6 years if you haven't written it down...

Finally I am home . Time to code something nice ...
*starts PC*
*10 mins later power went down*

Just got a call about a site I made fo someone being down. It's 3am on a Monday morning. I have school in 6 hours. My client knows this. Go fuck yourself I'm not getting out of bed at 3 in the morning.

Note: we live in the same time zone.

Hello devRant, a question for you.

I'm looking to redisign/setup my server 'infrastructure'.

It'll exist out of:
7 vps's (6+gb ram/500gb+/100mbs up/down per vps)
2 dedicated servers running as virtualization servers. (16gb/4tb/1gbit up/down and another one but let's leave that one out for now because it's gonna take a shit ton of time to solve that clusterfuck)

One server will function as an entry point for all websites I run, multiple database servers and multiple backup ones.

Any advices/tips/ideas?

Just a very serious hobby thing :)

Internet went down at the office, was 10pm so probably time to stop working anyways.

Get home, Internet is down. Text friend, their Internet is down.

The isp for this entire area is offline.

Has anyone else noticed a amplification of battery drain..?

Like... You start at 100%. It takes about 30mins to drop to 99%. And to me, it seems that for each % you go down, the next one comes faster. By the time I hit 5%, It's nearly a second counter.

Just recalled the time we sent the new apprentice developer to HR for a "verbal agreement form" to request his birthday off. HR Came back down with him unsure as to where to find the verbal agreement forms.

"Well, that's not very funny." - HR

I'm so scared of the people on stackoverflow that my method for debugging a problem is to write up a question by which time I'm shocked into finding a solution. I'm just too scared of being ridiculed by some narcissistic dev (who obviously never makes any mistakes, ever) or, heaven forbid, having my question down voted and closed.

So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.

I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"

*i look at the graph*

"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"

Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.

Bookbinding, it takes time and it gives me an opportunity to slow down. I appreciate the different textures of each paper and technique for each binding/stitching method. Plus this way I never have to buy an expensive notebook 😁

you fucking idiots

why do you always base your library components on some dumbass clown fixed width / height system?

everything should be flex by default, anything else is absolute amateur clown town pile of dumbass horseshit...

...i'll brawl and take down anyone who says otherwise

you waste my time, you waste other's time, when everyone has to go hunting around for your stupid library's unorthodox way of styling

thanks again for wasting and making my evening a living hell

Me: Right, time to sit down and write some code.

Also me: I think I need to try a new IDE to see if that makes me more productive.

Productivity tools are my own productivity anti-pattern...!

I fucking love how the Cyberpunk 2077 disaster goes down... and then, silently, Kerbal Space Program 2 pushes their launch date back again by another year.

Lol, is someone a little afraid? Take your time, boys.

*coding*

*notices coffee is cold, puts it on stove with flame burner on low, to warm up*

*sits back down, goes back to coding*

*hears fizzing popping sounds... coffee overflows and boils*

FUCK - every other day for the past month ,every single time... lol

Is it bad ive got a mental count down to when I'll reach 6969 ++?

I'm not planning on growing up any time soon so judge away lol

2038 because of integer overflow we can finally start time travel and maybe a few satellites will fall down.

My school's servers can only support 100 connections at the same time. So they are always down. It's so lame

Microsoft Azure down on a Friday at home time? Whoever tripped over that cable is probably trying awfully hard to slink out of the building unnoticed right about now

The great thing about coding is, every problem can be solved with logic. And the simplest solution is often the best one.
Often when I don't know what to do, I just keep thinking about what I want to have and break down what I need for that and in the end I always come to a good solution. And it gets easier from time to time.

Oh, my boss never fails to amaze me...

Every fucking time he talks about changes to someone outside the team he says something like:
"we always gotta be prepared for breaks because it is always like that, you change something here and when you see you broke something there"
All in a manner that *tries* to bring tensions down.

And every time I explain to him why the fuck automated tests are important and wtf they do he always manage to understand it as a waste of time...

I'm never gonna give up, motherfucker.

My ISP can suck the biggest, sweatiest pile of dicks.
First of all, our normal service is garbage (1mb down, 0.1 up).
On top of that, for some reason, the Internet access goes down for a few minutes every time the public IP changes (2-3 times a day) which is fucking annoying.
And THEY FUCKING BROUGHT FIBRE TO MY NEIGHBOUR (20 METRES DOWN THE STREET) WHO IS AN OLD COUPLE WHO HAVE 0 INTEREST IN THE INTERNET, BUT THEY REFUSE TO BRING IT TO ME.
Fucking Vodafone, get your shit together.

1. Remove chairs and tables.
2. Limit everyone to two minutes speech time.
3. When everybody got used to stand-up meetings, get down and plank.

Everybody will have a very strong interest in a quick and productive end to any plank-down meeting. 😁

Fellow devs,

If your boss asks you for an estimation don't follow your gut coz your gut sucks. Ask for time to analyse before giving any estimation. And yeah don't forget external factors such as :
- third party tool down (github I'm looking at you)
- updates (windows, IDE, etc.)
- 90% of the time it doesn't work
- if it involves front dev just go ahead and double your estimation
- YOUR BOSS THINKS YOU OVERESTIMATED

Sincerly.

SO is down, guess it's time to call it a day 😂

Product managers who breathe down your neck all day because they literally have nothing else to do with their time

Currently quadruple booked for meetings at this time slot. I'm picking the one where the most smack down needs to be laid down.

Boss: Did you get that trivial change I requested completed?
Me: No, I've been busy trying to fix a critical issue with a production app.
Boss: I don't want other people dictating how you spend your time.
Me: ...

Let it all burn down, then, I guess!

It seems Microsoft have taken my critique of Azure last week to heart. Last week, I insinuated that perhaps hometime on Friday was an inconvenient time of day for major downtime.

This week they've rectified their previous fault, and in their great mercy have decided to take down service at the busiest time of the day on Thursday instead.

Can I just say, this community is awesome. All Dev talk, all the time. It's like Facebook but not complete s***!

PS: UK Dev rant meet up has to go down. We can't have the yanks outdoing us.

accidentally pressing Bixby button instead of volume down the 173726th time

Stack overflow was down..
I don't know why, but it developed some kind of respect for senior developers who don't had access to stack overflow in their time.

Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.

Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏

Every time I search something on Stack Overflow, I get excited when it's word for word the issue I'm having. Giddy with excitement, I click the question and scroll down.

Every damn time "Question was closed due to being off-topic".

Even when it's totally on topic!

Anyone get this or do I have the worst luck on the planet?

People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.

60 hour work week deserves down time....no code, just immersion...feel like I'm being watched though

So i was bitching about some cron task few days before

and guess the issue

Fucking Client just shut down the server by himself for night and cron job scheduled for night time :(

I fucking waste 2-3 days to debug the function whats wrong with them until one day I checked server is closed at night :(

Do you ever get anxious and do some work to calm down but then you forget about time and stay up until 6am finishing two features which were due in a month?

So excited! My brand new drive finally shows up in the mail today so I naturally want to install it right away.

Power down, install drive, power up.

Windows decided now is the perfect time for an update! 30 minutes and counting....on 84%....for 30 minutes....

FML

No rant here but just wanted to remind the ladies and gentlemen to take that break and spend time with your family or friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, and pets. If someone s been meaning to do it and got bogged down by work, I hope this serves as a reminder.

Just got stood down today.

The company I'm assigned to at the moment gave my employer a days notice that they are halting the project.

Time to hit the vodka.

- the first time I have to touch a GO codebase
- it's the day GH goes down

come on, what's happening here! First dR, now GH? Tomorrow what - SO's turn?

Fuck it.

If Torvalds completely steps down and shit starts to absolutely suck in our beloved kernel then it might be high time to start paying close attention to Minix or Hurd :P options peeps. Options are good.

I think it's time for you to power down.

Can't believe it's 2021 and building websites is still such a pain..

Do we really need to build a login page every time? have a refinement session to break it down to tasks?
("Oh right, we need a forgot-password link!")

Can't the damn thing align and look the same on two/three browsers?

2008 problems for life...

Do I want to continue?
Y -> vacation lost (Production server is down).

N -> Ok, I will gather more packages for you to update next time.
😭😭

Me sitting down to code for the first time in months after having an extended focus on design

Normal peeps: I wasted time in that relationship
Me: I wasted time to fix "unable to access gitlab.com please check if you have access to the file" only to realize the site was down

Why thank you! 😁

Much appreciated! And let me just say while I'm thinking about it, devRant is hands down the best community I've been apart of in a very long time. Keep up the rants!

Writing clean code.
Writing useful comments.
Commit before experimenting.

Just anything to prevent Technical Debt. Just because it works doesn't mean it should be kept as is. Later down the line you'll need to add a new feature and you'll spend 2x more time fixing the things you took for granted.

So a typo brought down large swaths of S3. Programming is a merciless profession. No wonder I am stressed all the time.

Cutting down on coffee and trying to stop smoking at the same time as working on a close deadline... not a great combo

"No my phone is faster then yours. I prove you"
Puts Android Device and iPhone next to each other and opens Facebook app at "the Same time" by clicking on the app icon after counting down from 3.
"See its way faster"

*Facepalm*

me: Hey. This looks like a cool component that will save me lots of time and effort in the project I'm kicking off next week.

/* Two months later */

me: WTF was the name of that component that did that thing?

======================

I really should write things down more often.

When I'm scrolling through my feed here for a long time and see a rant I want to comment on, I always scroll down, comment and then realize the rant is a month+ old.
Ugh.

I would say that I have good parents and my dad also supports what I do (most of the time) but could my mother please calm down and let me do what I enjoy doing while not yelling at me to learn Latin saying that it is 'the most important subject'.

I just had a professor unironically ask why students are stressed all the time. Education has changed. The insane assessments and workload make a healthy work-life balance impossible. There's no love of learning when the pace is shoved down your throat.

During my 2 weeks of vacation I thought I shouldn't spend all the time on private projects but should get my head clear a bit. Wanted to extend our kitchen a little for a long time now anyways!

But obviously DevRant is always on my mind cause after laying down the jigsaw I saw this little guy.. 😜

Happy holidays to all of you! :)

You get to work, things have broken down in the night, you have no access to production or even test environment and you have to guess why. You do the same job as somebody in other countries for less pay while everyone else has this laid back approach where the time they actually spend working is negligible. Until the sheer amount of entropy in your organization wears you down and you just become part of the problem.

Lesson learned the hard way: Remember your SSH Ports or write them down...

On the bright side of things, i had backups this time! Tyy DigitalOcean :)

My cousin a recent graduate who just joined a company told me that he took down production today.
I said "Child it is a rite of passage as a developer, you always remember your first time".

Ahh this brings back memories of my first time I took down production. I would often look at my email that whole week to see if I was fired.

From an old time Windows user (3.11), coding on a fucking Mac is coding the way its meant to be. Hands down.

Unifi switches are so fucking bad.
For the third of fifth time it activated spanning tree by itself, causing alot of shit to go down.

It is only a expensive shelf from now on, fucking crap

...and they said AWS never goes down. Well developers this is a good time to sleep or catch up on tv-series. Enjoy!

Jesus fucking stupid backend developers that don't listen when you tell them their shit doesn't work. So you end up wasting time again and again tracking down these fucking obscure issues that are caused by THE SAME FUCKING BACKEND ISSUE

CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.

Fucking Windows.

Before everyone starts saying that I should switch to Linux, I prefer Windows as my primary OS and Linux as a secondary OS.

Anyways, I updated my Windows a few days ago and ever since, instead of fucking shutting down it acts like it goes into hibernation. If I tell you to shut down, that means to shut down, not save everything and reopen everything when I turn you back on.

Besides that, why the fuck is it trying to install some Canon printer driver, that I don't even have! Thus leading it to fail every god time I turn off my PC, and then it says "Updates failed to install."

Seriously, had no problem with Windows until a few days ago. Simple terms, fuck Microsoft right now.

Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...

All day long I'm adjusting this chair up but it just keeps slowly going back down. Time to go back to a standing desk I guess.

FUCCKKKKK WHY DOES LINKEDIN HAVE TO REFRESH THE FEED EVERY TIME I SHARE A FUCKING ARTICLE! NOW I HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN YOU MORONS! WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY LIFE HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE??!!

Me: DMs coworkers that appear online after their working hours to check on them and make sure they’re not feeling like they’re obligated to work more/encouraging them to take time for themselves

Also me: Can’t sleep at 4am, so immediately start trying to chase down the genesis of an error someone complained about

I'm a developer, but also a father of 2 kids. I love spending time with them, but sometimes I also like to work on my side projects. And besides that, after a long day of work, even if I have spare time, I also like to lay down on the couch and watch Netflix.

How do you other full time developer / parents out there cope with your own personal projects?

Why is it so hard to convice coworkers (other programmers) to use source control? Yes it's an extra step every day or so but it can be so helpful and save so much more time tracking down versions and when the bug first appeared. Also, piece of mind if your computer every gets hosed.

So I'm called down to the office the other day for a meeting, I get there and my boss says "hi this is John Doe he has applied for the developer role, can you give him the technical interview" had no time to prep, my boss didn't even give me a copy of his CV

--- Visits stackoverflow for an answer
. You find the accepted answer amazing... Yep this is what I'm looking for. (You copied the code into your source)
.
.
. scrolled down a little bit
.
.
. You saw another answer with a higher upvote. Ooh lala, this is fucking cool. (You copied and replace your source again)
.
. scrolled down once again
.
. You noticed yet another answer which is the most recent and a lot shorter implementation of what you just copied. (No shit! You copied and replace your source yet another time)
.
. scrolled down for the last time maybe and it looks like the previous was the last.
. But then...
.
. you saw a comment with lots of upvotes even more than the accepted answer and this comment points to a link.
.
. You clicked the link with your mouth salivating waiting to see what holds at the other side of the world which amount this so much upvotes.
.
. And Tadaaaa 404 not found!
.
. You feel hunted by that mysterious link for the rest your life...

My current co-worker takes this prize. He's quiet, good at what he does and only communicated with me when absolutely necessary or when we are both obviously on some down time. Cheers to you, mate!

Rant.TYPE_REAL_LIFE

So I go for a run for the first time, well, ever. I put my keychain in my pocket and I'm off with my headphones on. Come back home I FUCKING LOST MY WHOLE KEYCHAIN. Key to my house, my apartment, the garage remote, .. fucking dogshit man. Tried to track it down by going down the same path twice but no luck so now my only hope is the police but what are the odds :/

If you do `log.error("blah: " + e.getMessage())` rather than `log.error("blah: ", e)` then I will personally hunt you down, come to your house, and give you a bloody good talking to as to why stack traces are free, useful debugging tools, and you've just wasted my time by omitting it.

Decided it was time to grit my teeth and actually bunker down and learn a bit of C++...

Im 1 hour in and hinestly am not sure whether I hate Pyton or C++ more at this stage .-.

I don't understand why someone who's totally sane and careful could forget to turn off MySQL general log over Christmas vacation. Of course Disk out of space caused us down time :/

My internet connection is down, I guess it's time to die

I'm currently watching the "it was my idea, I should get half the revenue" conversation play out in real time... For someone else.

I had the sense to turn down this "fantastic business opportunity"

!rant what do you ranters do when you're not ranting or coding? Me? I work on cars. Car in the picture is my gf's mini.

Me: Writes down 'npm install '

Me: Copies the install command and pastes it

Me: Run 'npm install npm install package'

Every fucking time

The course videos were done in November 2022.

It's May 2024 and i'm still shuffling paperwork to get the damn thing published.

"Course authorship is down on our platform! Why is it taking so long for our authors to publish!? Whats going on here?!"

Maybe because nearly all of the authors you have full time jobs and a family like me and don't have time for an infinite revolving door of new tools and frameworks!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHGHGHGHGHTHTHTHTHHHHH

Never again.

Phone is slowing down to the point of unusability. Guess it's time to "accidentally" wipe my data partition again. Yay Android woes.

Every time I sit down to look at WebGL

!rant

Remember the time when I couldn't go to school because they were upgrading the internet?

THEY DELIVERED
200 megabits down, 200 megabits up. And guess what - NOTHING IS BLOCKED!

YAS

My face when PM checks the project day before the deadline and list down time consuming changes that needs to be completed the next day (Deadline day) before 10:00AM.

- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer

= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4

The first day back to work after almost 2 weeks off...

And Slack is down. Time to make it a 2 weeks + 1 day vacation.

Ok so apparently somebody at Google gcp thought it would be a great idea to be able to select more than one instance at a time and select something like delete and it goes ahead and deletes it without any sanity checks.

3 days down the tube

Wi-Fi down due to thunderstorms.
Me: Aah...time to get some sleep maybe !

Any devs have to track their time down to 15 minute increments? Do you get used to it? Does it fuck with your flow? Any tools to use to make it easier?

If you ever decide to become a manager, I hope every time you sit down, your chair makes a farting sound, but just once, so you can’t repeat it to demonstrate that it was in fact your chair and not yourself.

Not 3 weeks have passed and I am almost at where I was in the SwiftUI version of my app but this time in UIKit. Conclusion? SwiftUI slowed me down, significantly.

There are a couple of things I like to do before sitting down to code for the first time on a project. Throughout all of this I'm (sometimes unconsciously) planning out the project.

- Clean the house;
- Buy groceries;
- Buy/prepare food & eat;
- Arrange everything on my desk so that everything looks slick as fuck;
- Actually sit down to do something;
- Realize it's past midnight;
- Go to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if I have OCD...

So, after crashing and burning during my last interview I’ve applied for another job, this time as a Technical Support Engineer.

Bringing my aspirations down slightly to spend a bit more time building up my experience.

But, the job is for a good company, and I can work from home.

Firewall is down. That means no access to developer environments. That means more time for DevRant.

That moment when your arrogant client arrives at your office and you have a fire drill at the same time ...and you see him running down 5 floors for no reason at all 🤣🤣🤣

Man emotions are funny
One day you're up, one day you're down

Sometimes I don't even know why I'm still trying anymore. Just to waste more time

Genius UI design: the text next to latest news changes between 2 and 3 lines, and every time that happens the entire website gets pushed up and down. I thought my touchpad was going crazy for doing phantom scrolls, but no, it’s that same incompetent designer from my previous rant.

My boss keeps telling people to make sure to write stuff down during meetings. I feel like im in school.

Furthermore shes making our testers read application traces. And making me email it to them every time they want it because they don't have acess to our system.

And so.. I have noticed.. every time I ignore Windows updates for a little while.. the laptop just starts shitting. It gets so fucking slow that you can’t even move the cursor properly. So you have to force shut down the laptop and turn it ON.. and Windows starts updating!

Not at all irritating 😊

What did you do the last 20 minutes?

I watched the timer on my browser slowly tick down as it downloads 550mb over a flimsy school wifi connection in the hopes that my constant watching helps it not time out or crash.

When it is Friday and you want to be productive, but you have spent the entire time since sitting down at work fixing Visual Studio and its bullshit.

I ask myself whether there is a connection between people proudly proclaiming they don't need to get a decent education and people posting rants about being impossible to get their projects to work and have to trace down bug all the time.

First time me ranting about PHP.

First time. I still really like the language.

But what the fuck.
I am debugging, I narrowed down bug to my validator.
I played with php console and debugger and narrowed down to that one offending line.

Narrowing down to smaller and smaller examples when it dosent work, confusion and tension grows in me.

And then it hit me.
Confusion got to apogeum.

Anyone, if you know the anwser, please tell me.
WHAT THE FUCK?

maybe thats task for stack overflow? Hrm...
No, I dont have time to explicitly tell what I tried to google and spend 4 hours to have all checkmarks ticked before asking lol

Generator functions should be treated like sorting algorithms: Not worth your time if all you have is 4 or less async instructions.
Callback hell is actually kind of nice and warm when you're a just a few levels down. If you're really confused by your obfuscated code, you suck at node.

The senior developer on my team is leaving, and I'm dreading what's coming down the pipe. Basically everything he's responsible for now will land on me when he's gone. I guess now would be the time to reevaluate my salary.

Hmm.. I've noticed a trend in teams at companies: they always seem to have similar personalities, rather than similar skills.

For example, if the team leader is a pathetic, pretentious, sarcastic, frigid, lifeless loser who pretends he's happy, then he usually has a herd of equally pathetic and frigid losers following him. I notice that every time I apply to a company that has such a group, they instantly disqualify me as a member. Interesting, interesting..

The same goes for a company that has down-to-earth people like myself, then the team is usually a down-to-earth manager and down-to-earth, warm-hearted colleagues.

It all makes sense now.

I love working on legacy products. You just need a good shower and possibly a therapist after.

- Sensitive data sent over the internet encrypted with DES (not even 3DES). Guess it doesn't matter that the key (singular, for the last decade) is basically 0123456789ABCDEF.

- Client databases with open default port, admin/admin superuser.

- Critical applications (potential for substantial property damage, maybe loss of life) with a single point of failure and without backup.

Suggestions, to slow down a bit with sales, so we have time to rewrite this steaming pile of crap are met with the excuse: be more pragmatist, this is standard industry practice.

Some of this shit can be fixed on my own time if my conscience nags too much, but others would require significant investment of time from multiple developers, which would slow down new business.

Guess the pay is ok, so that's something...

Nothing better than walking out of the examination classroom, opening up your phone and being flooded with emails and messages about production servers being down

It's that time of the week again

Luckily, now that everything is in place everything is 100% automated with ci/cd 😎

Currently have this issue where I just want to try out all the cool things I see, so my project is not going anywhere and instead just gets rewritten over and over but with a different tool or architecture or framework each time. Can't lock down on something I like, because I like everything 😅

Spent all day refactoring lots of confusing code down to just a few lines. I am satisfied, frustrated and drained all at the same time.

Trying to explain to people why 6GB of RAM on a phone is overkill.

Seriously, you do know your phone can only do one thing at a time right?

And Android still shuts down the app after certain amount of time even if there is enough RAM.

I'm down to write multi dimensional Git. I'm tired of losing the code that I wrote in my dream to go up in smoke every time when I woke up.
I just want to commit and push it to the dimension that I'm livin'. So that I'll have access to the code that I wrote in my dream.

Oops accidentally created this Angular component in the wrong directory. Better run the Ng command to remove the component so I don't need to remove the files and references in app.module.ts otherwise it would take an annoying amount of time to track down the right lines there and it also opens the door to human error!

......shit

You

know

what

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love

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When

rants

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really

long

and

devRant

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scroll

down

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Not sure if this will actually
show and sorry, kinda~

So i am stuck, i have assignments to complete, i know what i need to do, but every single time i sit down to write them up, my mind goes blank and i get extremely fustrated any advice? thanks.

Do you ever just sit unable to start, hating yourself for it?

Ugh, I feel like I've been running on autopilot lately. I just can't get myself going. Down time doesn't feel like down time either

The first time I accidentally activated multiple cursors(multiline editing feature) in my editor I thought this was a bug rather than a feature and was trying to figure out a way to get the cursor back to normal.
Few years down the line this feature has improved my coding speed a lot and I just laugh at myself remembering the first time I used it 😂
P.S. Screenshot attached for reference

When you come back from work after filling up jira, talking with colleagues during too long stand ups and writing documentation it's time to finally sit down and write some pure code.

Only now just realised I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks and even longer since I had an iced coffee... Guys I think I've discovered why my rants are down!!!

Time to go get fucking hammered and try to build the world!

Deliberate and fully conscious procrastination. Distract yourself deliberately every few hours. Do something completely different in your free time and when procrastinating.

Also, take your time, think things through.

When debugging obvious typos and "impossible" causalities that you still not see after reparsing the code the tenths time - calm down, procrastinate a bit, and restart debugging - discarding assumptions and result from the previous tries.

First time used the TDD approach. I knew I needed to use it but never quite used it cause I thought it would slow me down. I was so wrong!
Mocha and chai js rock 🤘

At a time in my life where I am turned down for minimum wage part time jobs but am expected to go for a graduate role that pays more money than I've ever known.

Weird times, man. Weird times.

Finals szn....

The time where I down 2 energy drinks in half an hour and look at math for 8 fucking hours straight

Yay for decommissioning an entire building network. Had plenty of time to prepare, yet we are now frantically shutting it down on the one day we have to do it. 😒

4 different software areas face issues I am experienced in resolving. I somehow feel like the down time these last few months is about to come to an abrupt end.

Just as soon as they figure out which one gets me, let's hope it isn't all of them at once.

Having to work for clients sucks. They are so rude. "We sent an issue over yesterday and it's still not fixed". You think you're our only customer? You think this shit is automated and takes no time to fix? You think you have resources working on you stuff 24/7. You don't man. Get in the queue and be grateful a load of time and effort goes in to your website. Sit down and stfu. Ahhh... that's better.

Ah, the strange world in which a fresh Windows 10 install boots up roughly twice as fast as a fresh Arch-Deepin on the same laptop. Also noticed the same behaviour with Arch-GNOME 3. Guess I have to dive into configs to get the boot time down.

I Have got a lot of swags going to events and meetups! Shirts Pins IDs Stickers ! what is your most Treasured swag of all time??
BONUS IMAGE down

Fuc* you Android studio, slowing down my pc every fuc*ing time. I hate you, go and die please.

fml. too tired to learn something new. after staring at the screen for half an hour i give up, shut down brain and await to wake up more frustrated because lack of creation.
thought i'd spend a good time coding during my vacation but instead i am exhausted of home restauration. i can hardly remember when was the last time i did something just for fun and not because it simply had to be done.

I take a task, break it down in smaller tasks which can be done in one day, more if some problem came. But let's say if it finishes within a day and I have free time, I don't start the next thing instead I feel good that I'm done. Is it only me? 🙄

I had a config option where some shit would either be dimmed down or switched off. I called them "fade-out" and "hard-off" in UI and documentation.

Luckily, it dawned on me in time that I'd better rename the latter option to "cut-off".

Going off the grid tomorrow for the first time in a long while. Will be in the middle of nowhere Maine floating down a lazy river drinking beers with friends. Anyone else off grid?

Pissed af at my idiot teammates for dragging down my project grades. But I believe this won't be the last time as there are more idiots out there.

I need the credits to graduate .. sigh...
: /

The "just do it" mentality that comes with tight time constraints.
It's been way, WAY too long since the last time I just sat down and thought about design with patience and well-intentioned dedication.

Its that time when the bug count is like a stock price. Up and down...up and down...

Been at the same company for 2 years, this has been the worst day, hands down. Probably going to be fired soon, or end up quitting. Yaay more time for personal projects, yaay not having money.

Production goes down because there's a memory leak due to scale.

When you say it in one sentence, it sounds too easy. Being developers we know how it all goes. It starts with an alert ping, then one server instance goes down, then the next. First you start debugging from your code, then the application servers, then the web servers and by that time, you're already on the tips of your toes. Then you realize that the application and application servers have been gradually losing memory over a period of time. If the application is one that don't get re-deployed ever so often, the complexity grows faster. No anomaly / change detection monitor can detect a gradual decrease of memory over a period of months.

Back on my university internship.

I knew nothing about web dev and it was a full stack role. I was taught nothing and just sat down and ran entire solo projects for websites and web apps. Everything was down to me including client contact.

Taught nothing and had to learn the entire stack on the fly whilst trying not to get fired or lose clients. Company had no version control for these projects, no quality assurance/testing, no frameworks or anything.

The first 3 months were not a good time.

When you have done way to much coding and thinking... Its time to bring the roof down

I'm logged into my box at home via ssh and coding in vim.... On the bus, using my phone.

I need more spare time, I get to sit down in front of my computer for maybe 1-2 hours a week.

!Rant

Just for blatant curiosity; how many people would ++ this just to help me get a stressball to get through this day.

Rant
So today I woke up to a message that my jobs webserver was down; and that all personal webpages for the Uni went down with it. We had no idea why or how it went down but eventually someone got it up- just in time for our Proxmox server to go down; which runs our new web server (thankfully it's not live yet), our print server, our PXE server, and more... Loving today. Such stress. Very shit.
We have a memo on the window "Watch your FPMs" (fucks per minute)

I've gotten to the point devRant is taking free time away from my personal projects... 😢 What should I DO??? Guess it's time to make an effort to cut down on devRant time
¯\_(ツ)_/¯