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Brain: hey kiddo, want to stay home and work on your side project today? I'm feeling good.
Me: fuck yeah finally!
*call in sick.
*open laptop. Tabs and editors already waiting.
*play music, no sound.
*system is all laggy.
*fuck, restart.
*
*Installing windows updates...
*leaves for work.18 -
Co-worker: Hey man, what's up with your code?
Me: What do you mean bro?
Co-worker: It's generic man...
Me: Isn't it supposed to be like that?
Co-worker: Yeah...
Me: ... so what's this about?
Co-worker: hmmm... Mine is kinda specific, do you mind changing it so that it can work well with mine??
Me: That's why I made it generic though
Co-worker: yeah I see that and I dnt want mine to be and we have a deadline tomorrow. I already pushed mine to develop so, happy fun-time while modifying your code to accommodate mine...
Me: *fuuxuuuuuuuuuuuux*6 -
It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.6 -
Reviewing coworker's code:
Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.
Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*
Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️21 -
Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"6 -
Me: *reinstalling windows10 using the recovery disk.
"Your partitions will be reformatted if needed... warnings this, that... Continue?"
Me: do it already!
"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Sorry cannot recover. We didn't change anything."
Me: *reboot
.
.
.
.
"No bootable drive found"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIAR! *throws away the thumb drive with the laptop attached out of spite22 -
Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!
So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.
Him: So what are u going to show me?
Me: A walk through of the app.
Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)
Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.
Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)
Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"
Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!
Me: (smiling) Yes!!
Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--
Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.
Him: If u leave, ur done!!
Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)
Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!
Me: Happy 😁😁😁13 -
When the coffee you had in the morning kicks in all at once.
Now my heartbeat is faster than my keystrokes4 -
Truth:
Windows updates have nevah annoyed me !
And
My computer never restarted by itself while i am working!
Is it because i am lucky or you guys dnt know update setting exists?13 -
Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.
He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.11 -
DevRant makes me really proud how well developers can act together as a group. Makes me think what we could accomplish if we would take all the world's developers and programmers to one place and make our own country. Our currency will be devCoin. World domination follows shortly afterwards11
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How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:
Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;
Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;
His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"4 -
That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)10 -
Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!22 -
Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.5
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I got a bug report with a typo in it. The subject read "...action X takes long time thank expected."
The thank is supposed to be "than".
I chuckled and immediately created a snapshot that shows the result of the action and the success message says, "Action successful, thank you for your patience."
I shared it with my team but no one even acknowledged it. 😞2 -
I hate the idea of a programmer's day.
I like the logic (256th day) but hate the idea.
It feels full of bullshit. It feels fake.
I guess it had that wannabe impersonator vibe to it that makes me nauseated.
I have similar feelings towards other kinds of such days.9 -
Every time I have to recall how to LaTeX, it's a huge pain in the ass. It's like learning to code in Greek (I don't know Greek). Happens every single time (it can be months before I need to use it again).
However.
Every time I finish my creation, I fall in love with LaTeX all over again.5 -
Slapping idiots around.
This needs to be a trend.
---
Actual rant :
I'm sitting in this idiot haven completing my mandatory hours doing nothing. Earlier I would spend this time learning stuff but I'm too fed up to do anything. This place is driving me mad and just today I had to suffer through more madness that is blocking me from resolving a bug.(I don't have the license to run the product I'm supposed to be fixing)
The number of inept idiots is too damn high. I try not to be bothered but I can only try so much.4 -
Our teacher just told us to share our code via drive or dropbox or something like that, and I was there like "hey ever heard of git?????"8
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Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
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Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8 -
'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'
Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.
'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'
Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)
' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'
Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.
What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.
Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!4 -
I get a feeling nowadays that a lot of u guys here know each other well.
I dnt knw if that made sense. I’m half asleep.33 -
Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.
Okay, I guess.8 -
What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!
Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link
Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.
WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!
Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!
What the actual fuck?!11 -
What the hell is wrong with using GitHub, or Git??? A client told me he’s concerned because it’s been, in his words, “compromised” and the admins can “see our code for trouble shooting purposes” and he doesn’t feel comfortable with that…🤨 like…no one wants this code my dude, like the fuck!?! We’re already using a skeleton project from someone else’s git, yet you dnt want this project on there??? Ooooor, is it because you dnt know how to use it??? Nor do you want to take the time to learn it??? 🤨 fuck boy. 😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬17
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Analog mail still works!
Stickers finally arrived! Thanks @dfox and @trogus for this amazing community !
1 -
How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?
I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.
If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.
My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.1 -
Big tech hates Apple for introducing Anti-Tracking features into IOS14.5,
https://gizmodo.com/how-to-block-ap...
But...... this isn't what I expected to fall through after that happened.
Google is introducing a similar feature into Android 12 😱
https://gizmodo.com/google-will-let...3 -
If Skype 4 Business could stop changing the control names for their input fields, randomly, that'd be great.5
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How many of you wear shades at work?
I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄12 -
Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".
Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?
I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁8 -
If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content. -
I carelessly took a freelance project to make an app.....there was a friend involved so I was careless, shared all the code....and they refused to pay, ridiculed me too..... and I could do nothing...... I dnt care about the money; but I feel so insulted and I was being so nice and civil, and they behaved this way,..... anything I can do to their stupid website? https://spasgo.com
Nothing major...just a little something to annoy......9 -
The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.
3 -
Started coding HTML, CSS and JavaScript as part of my multimedia design studies. Lecturer would throw up a simple 960 page on the projector, said "make this" and left the room. Being thrown in the deep end is definitely a way to learn that taught me a lot
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Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?2 -
Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎8
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Still waiting for that confirmation email. Multiple resends and still nothing. My inbox has nothing from devrant. Now I can't ++. I want to ++. Seems like I can't have anything I want at all.
.
.
.
.
That's old. I deleted and created my account again but the rant was still saved so I thought why not start with it.8 -
I've been meaning to sign up on dev.to for a while now.
Finally started the sign up process. They require you to agree to follow their code of conduct which states that they will prioritize empowering the marginalized communities and in order to do that they will *not* act on complaints of reverse-isms. Reverse (sexism | racism), cisphobia, etc.
Am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? I'm all for empowering people, tolerance and not getting trolled but outrightly rejecting complaints on topics that seem politically incorrect sounds superfluous to me. Am I interpreting something wrong? (I hope I am because in general I find the community to be nice and positive)3 -
!rant, just asking the wise devRant community for advice:
What is a good laptop that works well with linux? Thanks in advance :)11 -
Buy dell, hp, lenovo and any other craptop company out there and fire all the numbnuts working there so that they slowly die of unemployment in the fucking gutters where their useless asses rightly belong. Oh and castrate them too so that they don't reproduce.
I'm considering going full Lannister on them but that might be too harsh.5 -
Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.
Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.
There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.4 -
Finally I have something decent for my résumé.
I was going through some LaTeX hell before someone started a cv tools discussion. It was good to learn that json cv is a thing. But it was too late for me. LaTeX posed a challenge and I was bored. It became personal.
After a lot of kicking around and landing on XeLaTeX, I finally have a decent layout. I had to compromise a tiny bit but that's on me for having little content.
(I wanted a graphic résumé but I'll need to do more to sufficiently fill a page. Besides I'd need to design icons and shit for it.)
Now it's done and my job hunt can start!3 -
Worst disturbance? This person who sits behind my back. I've gotten used to them not minding their own business and snooping into mine but to counter that they've taken to distracting me and others all the time.
Sample this incident from just a few moments ago (inspiring the rant).
Me: *debugging while listening to some ambient music channel
Them: *rushes to my desk, putting a hand behind my back
Me: *politely takes off headphones asking, What?
Them: *after peeking at my screen, nvm, I'll tell you later, I have a meeting to go to.
Fucking hell, idiot! It already takes me hours of pushing myself to come to work at this good for nothing place and then actually get to working. Just flush your head in the toilet so you don't take a dump on me with your shitty restlessness.1 -
Last rant update:
I won't have to take a leave after all and won't have to force myself to a wasted day full of useless awkward interactions or roaming around in a park.
Phew! -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.4 -
I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.
Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.
The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.
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Schoolproject teammate refuses to pull my changes in git before applying his because he thinks we're going to have conflicts ?!?!?!1
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Pretty recent one. I found that I can use Perl to edit files using a single cmd line (with regex search and replace). Loved it.
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Weekly drama call 1.
(the number reflects the devrant broadcast count not the actual count).
We work with a remote team and the project manager there just loves to talk. It started as something adorable(?) but it's just plain annoying now. He keeps on talking and talking and talking. We just muted him, had a good laugh and missed nothing. Nobody has any idea when he'll stop.
:/
.
.2 -
It's too late for this but I just realized it so I'm sharing it anyway.
How do I get through tough dev days?
Depending on how tough it is going :
House music
Soundtracks for focus
Soundtracks for action (any Assassins here?)
AC soundtrack with chocolate.6 -
What do you think of online tests (for hiring) with a mandatory webcam?
The webcam part is making me anxious enough to back out.24 -
WASTED MY ENTIRE DAY AJD ENTIRE NIGHT.
MY flutter app isn’t running on iPhone simulator!!! I cleaned and deleted derived data and cleaned thousand times but it crashes at startup without error! What the fuckkkkk do I do!!????
Oh and my iPhone is not being recognised by any IDE Idk why. :((((((((( pls m so miserable pls dnt :(4 -
Best: rediscovering auto hotkey. It's weird how much it pleases me. 😳
Worst: Oh so many. I've tried to overcome these with varying success rates but there's one that is still a big pain: job.1 -
There's a game called Virtual Beggar. I don't usually like these mindless games but since it was so easy and I wanted to see what jokes the developer has hidden in it, I played it for a few days. I got to a point where you're asked to make the ultimate donation and restart the game. That's apparently asked multiple times in the game. You become a millionaire and then restart. Billionaire, again restart.
That's what I see now when I see people deleting their accounts and returning the next day.1 -
LORD AM I PRON TO THESE KIND OF PEOPLE AS A DEV!!!?
[09:21, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Bro
[10:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Wasap
[10:25, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Im good fam hwu
[10:37, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Um good bro how is it?
[10:43, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: All good.. i need help fam... i want to creat application form but dnt knw how to fo th out look appearance
[10:48, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ummm haven't used out look
[10:51, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nooo I mean appearance of the app. .. not outlook windows no
[10:55, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 🤔
Wat you up to
Want to create a form using outlook or you want to create an application? ??
[GUY SENDS VOICE NOTE]
[11:21, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Is it web app or desktop app
[11:22, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: I thnk its wise to hv it a web app
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ok so is this a thing chitone market or?
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And outline all it's functionality
[11:25, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And the price😋🤑
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Na. Its just fr records n logs ... for reference
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: 👀U want to thug me now
[11:27, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nigaaa👀wait
[11:42, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 😂 its yo idea
I can't make something I have no idear what information it should take in
What format to generate soft copy
Etc5 -
I am wondering what secure app do you guys use for texting/voice/video.
I know Signal but I am looking for something that uses a username like devrant instead of a phone number.6 -
!rant
I'm dreaming of a web language that is as close to the English language as possible.
Imagine:
<html>
nav bar with 5 links
slider with 3 images that runs automatically
Section with 3 images next to each other
Paragraph with first word in red
Footer with menu and sign up form
</html>
This would be the shit!6 -
Dvorak users, how do you manage your shortcuts, like in vim?
I can't quit it anymore! 😜
I am too scared to remap everything.6 -
Update to my last rant:
I wrote a reply to the person. Not scathing (as I'd have liked it to be) but firm and in a no nonsense way. My manager supported me. My project manager talked with the person to in order to convey what the issue is and to undo any misunderstandings due to written communication (we have different native languages).
I have not received a reply but my project manager told me that they are analyzing the problem now. I was also told that they are not a bad person. ^^
I think I'd like to believe that. We all make mistakes after all. -
I have a choice to either take a leave without me wanting to or to go waste my day with the people in a theme park that I already don't much like.
All because someone wants their picnic figures to look good.3 -
Anti climactic story time (as in there's no promotion in this story):
Sometime ago there were some organizational changes happening in my company that put me in a very tricky place. Theoretically, I was put on a level that was supposed to be an upgrade from my previous level. Practically, it didn't come with any benefits and it was actually a downgrade because anyone who joined the company in the six months before these changes was in the same level as me (who'd been in for roughly 2 years).
It felt really insulting because I was about to be actually promoted. My manager and his manager tried to gaslight me into believing that I'm not at all affected in any way, before giving in and agreeing that a mistake was made. I was promised that next year it'll be corrected and I'll be promoted two levels. Even the HR assured me of that. I knew it was too good to be true but I was too demotivated to find another job.
Fast forward one year. My bosses are all praises for the work I put in. But, no two level promotion. Reason? They tried but couldn't get the management to agree. The boss apologized to me and asked me if I wanted him to try again. What an insolent arse!
Fast forward one more, extremely glum year.
This time I am part of a different team so the team lead is different but the manager is same. The team lead really went all out with showing appreciation for me. He talked for almost an hour(!) about how I exceeded his expectations and went on to claim that his app's release would have been impossible if it weren't for me, the new team member. It was really humbling and satisfying. But what did I get? A limp handshake from the manager with fucking loose change.
Silver lining. At least the manager did away with the 'well wisher, on your side' pretense this time. No mentions of failed promises, just regular empty promises for the future.
Fast forward 3 months.
Still here. Recovering. I am mulling over a much better offer than what my current boss can give me. Thinking about how long it takes before I'm in the dumpster again. I have stopped giving any fucks about anything here. I try to do the minimum required unless it benefits me in some way.
The end.4 -
There weren't enough barbed poles in my sorry ass apparently. For I have inserted in a big one by deciding to use blender. 😬
Zero background in animation but I want to create a little animation and PowerPoint isn't proving enough for it, and after fucking around with Synfig I realized I actually need a 3d animation tool.
So yeah. Basically, fucked myself. -
Shit is when u write code and dnt recall why u wrote certain lines a few hours later n when u remove them, u get in the shitter3
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