browsing application source, found this beauty of a method 😶

So, I’m a software engineer at one of the FANG companies, and a “friend” from college that I haven’t talked to in years suddenly messages me, asking for my work email. I’m like, why would you ever need that? And he replies, “I’m gonna send you an email with a link, can you open it from your work computer? I’ll pay you for doing that, and it’s totally legal.”

Yeah... how about fuck no.

He blocked me after I refused.

Me: so glad it's Friday!
Coworker: it's Wednesday...
Me: FUUUUCCKK. This is bullshit

fellow from the team was asked to do the estimate by manager - he said 2 weeks

then manager asked what if we add one more developer - he said, again 2 weeks and maybe add day or two

I was asked same question without knowing that they already asked fellow from the team same question - I said around two weeks, maybe day or two more! XD

as manager was confused and not satisfied with the estimates, goes to our team leader with the same questions - team leader said - 2 and half weeks and if you add one more dev to it, 3 weeks minimum

we didn't know that all of us were asked as manager did that behind our backs, in the end manager learned lesson in greed as we got to stick to team leaders estimate!

also that was very rude of underestimating someone's ability, same manager did had personal bias and frequently mocked us, for example when we said that that we will implement ML for cropping images at the right place (ie. crop part of the image where the face is) on the backend. Response was something like: 'You guys will do the ML? Are you shitting me? You're not /insert FANG company/!'

best team win ever!

second best team win ever is when whole team left the company in matter of weeks

There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.

Anyone else get a little freaked out when someone tells you a website works BEST on IE?

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

In Germany some say
"killer games make one agressive".
Those have never developed for Magento.

Can ppl stop bitching out about their ides not running smoothly with 8gb+ ram? I mean 8gb ram wise is enough, unless you have 20+ browser tabs open, watching some casual porn, downloading some more porn in the background and maybe running some benchmarks just for the sake of not letting your dollars go to waste...

*Rant*

Dear current manager,

You wouldn't know real talent if it hit you in the face.

Sincerely,
Your employee who's leaving for a FANG

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods

Any one else has 100+ browser tabs open? I have problems, I know.

POV: You fixed a hairy bug at a FAANG as a:

L3: "You're a technical wizard!"
L4: "Good job."
L5: "Why did you allow this into your team's code base?"
L6: "Why didn't you delegate that?"

Time to swag up that laptop

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

Had an intern go configure a bunch of workstations for our employees over the summer - we gave him a checklist and let him loose.
Several months later... Try to support a user with their workstation and find out that $software isn't installed on said workstation. Check other workstations. No $software on any of them.
Ask intern "did you follow the checklist we gave you??!"
Intern: "Yeah, I followed it."
Ask intern: "So why is $software not installed on the workstations?"
Intern: "Oh I didn't have a copy of $software so I skipped that step."
What.
So he's probably getting shitcanned soon...

Why devRant cats are overweight? 🤔

If you're currently in college and wish to get placed in a major tech giant like Amazon or Facebook:

Don't learn React.js, instead learn Linked lists.

Don't learn Flutter, instead learn Binary search trees.

Don't learn how to perform secure Authorization with JWTs, instead learn how to recursively reverse a singly linked list.

Don't learn how to build scalable and fault tolerant web servers, instead learn how to optimally inverse a binary search tree.

These big tech companies don't really care what real world development technologies you've mastered. Your competence in competitive programming and data structures is all that matters.

The system is screwed. Or atleast I am.

Dafuq... I might prefer other way around though

Final project senior year...
Mistake 1: Chose a project suggested by the prof, who did not initially make it obvious that the project beneficiary would be a personal friend of his.
Mistake 2: Nine of us thought this project looked cool and all signed up for it.
Mistake 3: Looked at the code-behind provided for us and discovered that the web-app we were building was... programmed in Java, using StringBuilder to append HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and create its webpages. Which was then decoded and built into a webpage using some obtusely designed compiler.
Mistake 4: Decided to question the reasonability of said project to the prof.
Mistake 5: Did not quit the project as a group and do something else

We all graduated, I think, but a lot of C-'s were had. Fuck that class.

Next generation programming language

When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

Rolled out a new application I built almost entirely by myself 2 days ago... But my dev group is understaffed and has a project manager who is literally the most clueless person I have ever met, so as a result, we don't have a functional/useful dev/test/prod framework and no standards for how to deploy apps. So my past 2 days were comprised of fixing bugs in the live system that could probably have been caught if I had the time and resources to get everything thoroughly tested. It's stable now, but damn our management for being generally idiots. Our motto appears to be "Fuck it, we'll do it live"

Got hit up by a FANG recruiter on LinkedIn. Almost went for it, but then I remembered I'd have to spend 3 months prepping for it, since it's been 5 years since I've manually reversed a linked list, back when we did that for funsies in college...

Plus how do you tell your manager you're quitting to "prep" for an interview...and moreover, how do you go back and sheepishly tell them you didn't make it...

Like, that one simple LinkedIn message caused me to re-evaluate my life and seriously consider leaving my comfy job to do something insane like try to work at <insert FANG company here>. And I wasn't going to quit until I had made it.

Wanna be dev data scientist tried out vim... Took 2h for him to exit vim.

The saddest and funniest side of our industry is (atleast in India): someone works hard and makes it to the best colleges, do great projects on AI, ML; get a good score on Leetcode, codechef; gets a job in FAANG-like companies...

Changes colors in CSS and texts in HTML.

And, why is there so much emphasis on Data Structures and Algorithms? I mean, a little bit is fine, but why get obsessed with it when you never write algorithms in production code?

Now, don't tell me that, we use libraries and we should know what we are doing, no, we don't use algorithms even in libraries.

Now, before you tell me that MySQL uses B-tree for maintaining indexes, you really don't need to solve tricky questions to be able to understand how a B-tree works.

It's just absurd.

I know how to little bit on how design scalable systems.
I know how to write good code that is both modular and extensible.
I know how to mentor interns and turn them into employees.
I know how to mentor junior engineers (freshers) and help them get started.
Heck I can even invert a binary tree.

But some FAANG company would reject me because I cannot solve a very tricky dynamic programming question.

Frustrated... had a signed job offer disappear right before start date after jumping through a ton of hoops, turning down a competing offer, and wasting 3 days of PTO on their process, so back to interviews again.

How do you all determine what salary to ask/look for? Current job has pretty concrete pay bands that I'm pretty sure aren't market, but most of the site (glassdoor, etc) are all OVER the place, as titles can get so fuzzy from one place to another. From people I know I've heard everything from 20k less than I make to 70k more than I make (moderately high COL area, but not CA level). Levels.io seemed promising, but the one FANG offer I had didn't nearly match up with there, so I'm not sure how much of that is bluster or whatever... Blegh. I absolutely hate job hunting.

working against a database over a bugged VPN connection, which gives you periodically timeouts, after the request takes 15 minutes 😑

Thoughts on Apple making their own processors for Macs. Ready, go!

Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass

copying field data from one table to another,

wondering why the execution takes so long,

since your copying only data from three rows,

realising you forgot the WHERE clause in the SQL while working on a live database and overwriting all data with the last statement 😨

Maintaining a C# .Net application as a Java developer
with a 30k line auto generated soap service.
Where each service gets its own objects...

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.

Bruh, tbh, this is kind of going to be a sad rant.

tl;dr: LEETCODE THE FUCK UP AND GET INTO FANG.

For all the people out there, just stop fucking around with small companies/startups early in your career. Leetcode up and get into FANG. Once you have that validation, these startups will be much easier to get into.
I have gone through this first hand.

After amazing on-sites with multiple startups, where everyone said that I'm the kind of person they're looking for (background wise: CS grad, startup experience, 2+ YOE as a fullstack Dev using Java, py, js and all the famous frameworks you could name), they rejected me.

Heck, a company flew me out to SF from Seattle where I think I had had my best on-site ever. They rejected me today. The sad part is that I actually for once really believed in the mission of the company.

At this point, I have wasted so much time reading about the xyz startup that's about to disrupt pqr industry (to prepare for behavioral/cultural interview), practiced for such shitty interviews like pair programming etc., worked on numerous take home projects (completing all those "bonus" parts) and deploying it and spending money out of my own pocket for that.

I'M JUST FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT.

I have given mock interviews with ex bosses and friends and they told me that I'm good. Heck, I even solved a LC medium in 20 minutes (optimal solution) but still got rejected.

I'm kind of writing this for myself and people who are on the same boat as I am:
Get into FANG and then think about other shit. STOP looking for smaller companies and being scared of getting your ass kicked by a Leetcode interview. Any company who would not take LC interviews will prefer someone from FANG unless you're lucky as fuck. You don't want your career to be based on luck, man. That shit's not gonna take you anywhere.

Leetcode style questions are fucking cancer .

the moment you realise:
you blasted a quarter of your mobile quota instead using your wlan while browsing YouTube. 😣

trying for three hours to understand why an error occurs. adding one log statement. reloading. everything works... 😡

Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?

For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...

Thanks mobile provider for selling me a 4G card but having the same time a over used network...

I am 13 y/o dev, not in college
two years of experience as an ML intern at a startup, a year of experience contracting as a SWE

I go and try to get internships at a larger company, and just get rejected
people say my resume is fake (nothing to say except IT IS NOT)
they cite labor laws (this I get)

the most frustrating thing though is that I see all these devs with much less experience than me, the only difference being that they are older and in college, getting internships at FANG COMPANIES. most of these people have never had an internship or worked as a developer in any way

one of the most frustrating cases came on a contracting project, where there was this other college dev, who was the worst I have ever worked with
he needed help with EVERYTHING
his python env,
"wHerE dO I IntEgrATE my CoDE?",
1.5 months into the project, he had not pushed a single USEFUL line of code that was actually what was needed from him

and guess where he is heading this summer?
jane street

and yet I cant even get a single interview, with internship season coming to an end?

Just started reading Cracking the Coding Interview and I just can't help but think this whole thing is a joke. The author can't even give a convincing argument why learning algorithm is important for interview. She simply states word for word: it is what it is.

I google her a bit and find that she started her venture Careercup.com and the website is such a joke. How can you even call yourself a software engineer with a website like that. I am pretty sure she using some kind of wordpress engine.

I can't imagine how many people that work at FANG companies that think like her..

!rant

Red Fang and Mastodon on the same night, !FML!