She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Credits:Unknown

Someone replied to the Christmas party invitation using REPLY ALL... his family personal details sent to hundreds of people. Wait, it gets even worse: he works in the SECURITY DEPARTMENT.

Since every piece of software is developed by us, I sincerely request everyone to keep dark themes as the default theme.
Thanks.

Sex talk between programmers.

She: I'm a virgin.
He: Don't worry. They call me the virginslayer007.
She: Oh! So how many virgins have you slayed till now?
He: That would be ONE in a few minutes.
She: So u r also a virgin then..
He: Don't worry. I watched so many video tutorials. We just have to do exactly as they did. Best thing is that it can be done both for testing and production purposes.
She: Let's stick to testing purposes for now.

I hate YouTube recommendations. They just show you the same videos again and again after some time.

Why the fuck does a game need access to my contacts?

Once I watched a 30min YouTube video on functional programming just because the presenter was cute. 😘
Anyone ever did this ???

And btw the video is Functional programming by Anjana vakil.

Keep a tab on people who use spaces for indentation.

?notFullScreen=false

Finally YouTube implemented something from the porn websites. I'm talking about quick video review on thumbnails.

Hi guys, this is my first rant so bear with me..

Stupid Indian fucking institutes doesn't give a shit about the things we learn in the institute. This curriculum is like from the 90's. I learnt NodeJS recently and I thought wow a new concept, not even my professor knows about it. I must be on top of the world or at least any way near it and then I see these video tutorials on the internet which are posted 2 years ago. OH MY GOD!! The thing is that my department's HOD doesn't know about that and the funny thing is that I'm doing a project under him "SECURITY OF WEB APPLICATIONS" and the only thing he knows is PHP. And FYI I'm not studying in an institute which is oblivious to the outside world. It's called an NIT, an institute of national fucking importance. At the end, I blame myself though. I should have been on myself not being completely dependent on the professors for knowledge.
I could fill the entire text area with the rant.
But then people will start ranting about the rant.
I will be posting more Indian-devRant soon so.. peace till then.

( I bet they don't know about Git/Github too)

manager: we had great feedback last week, real users were testing our app! However, we have noticed a lot of issues regards database performance and data replication...

me: oh, that's great news!! How many users? Like hundreds?

manager: no, 6 users so far

So my HP laptop got a weird problem lately.

It doesn't charge when I plug in the charger(yes, i turned on the switch). So I began searching forums for a solution and then found out that there are so many people like me out there.
Then I was like ok, chill. There are many people like me, there must be a solution somewhere.

And after doing lots of research and trying all the solutions in the internet, the only thing that worked out is this ....

Step1 : turn on and the laptop and plug in the charger.
Step 2: Turn off the laptop.
Step 3: Now turn it back on and poof there you go, the laptop's charging.

And then I improvised the solution myself, which is u can replace the switch off part with Sleep which saved me some time.

And then whenever I try to show something my friends somethjng on my lap and the battery gets low, I do the ritual. For a brief moment their face becomes like dude I'm gonna kill you off, why the hell did u bring me here and now u r turning that off. And then I explain the history of my laptop.

Why HP whyyy ?

I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.

Everyone's on my watch list.

Sincerely
Boss.

The only reason I'm still using WhatsApp or Facebook is because my classmates have a social group in which they share important information and tbh that's easy than dealing with emails.

Have to deal with bullshittery for one more year.

So recently I started to observe a little upgrade in the Google's searching algorithm. The next suggestion in Google's search box is depending more on my immediate preceding search. It's so good that its starting to creep the hell out of me.

Wow thanks play music for the handy navigation shortcut. Now I can hear the previous songs again and again! 😑

Fuck exposure!
May be you should get some exposure of how things work😒

this kind of pull request reviewers.. lol

Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!

Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!

Also money later isn't a good thing.

So this came up when I was trying to search for length property in JS.

- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??

Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.

Epic comment:

1+2+3+4+....infinity = -1/12
SRC: Numberphile

Dear god, id like to file a bug report(see attached video)

Joined the dark side.
Used to think (),{},[] meant the same. Just a type of brackets they said
Started counting at 0
Designer/Developer perspective to every website/app I visit
Rubber ducks were children bath toys
And for the love of LINUS! Stop asking me to hack your bf/gf 's social media accounts.

When you know you should be writing your tests first, then your code. But you secretly do it the other way round anyway.

Postpone this one last time!???
The fuck you think you are Windows.

I is sad.

Legit comments on a Facebook Hacker cup solutions post. Like wtf ?

I am so much into technology and also play CSGO frequently, that sometimes I get a dual image when someone says CACHE.

That moment when you hire someone for a small part of the protect and they suggest you to re-write the entire project using a different language/framework.

I know this is supposed to be in bossRant. But hey not all bosses aren't developers.

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my mail address
So spam me maybe

meanwhile I have all the love in my python code:

total = len(sys.argv)
if total < 3:

Ok, Just Imagine this. You are assigned to add a simple function in an application, using which the company can download user data which was provided by user in that app initially.

Now first twist come, when you realize the Auth system of user is not working. You fix it, and again realize email verification process is not working, which is preventing user to get registered on a first place. You again fix it, and again new problem occurs that user cannot enter detail because he/she is restricted. What the hell, is this some kind of bhul bhulaiyaa or what.

And this shit modern web frameworks, they are meant to make life easier, but half of the time i have to fight against them.

And last honourable mention to continuous disturbance of internet connection. Whenever i am installing any dependencies or want to have quick google search, it goes away. All thanks to work from home state.

I really think now to be a monk and go to do meditation in himalayas. What a life goss !

Sometimes NVIDIA fucks up big time.
Last time I was a writing a UI application in Java. I took some break and updated the NVIDIA drivers so that you know it will 'increase' gaming performance. Next day I was trying to launch the app and the UI doesn't show up. It took me over half an hour to realise that there was no fault in my code and it was the fucking update.

So what is rubber duck debugging?

Whenever I hide warnings during compilation, I feel like SUPPRESSING FIRE!!!

Debugging a program is nothing but playing the game WHO'S YOUR DADDY ?

Boss!!!
Boss isn't a person.
It's not a name.
It's a feeling.
It's an emotion.
It's something that you are afraid of even in ur dreams.
It's something that pushes you, shouts at you, criticises you, shouts at you again, but at the end he gives you appreciation, money and fame(sometimes).

No matter how shitty the pay is, it is something. Better than nothing.
If you don't like it, go to another boss.
or better
BE YOUR OWN BOSS.

Dear ranters,
Keep in mind that while ranting on a topic the human mind's ability to write a long sentence with perfect wording will decrease slightly, so my sincere request to Grammar NaZi's is Fuck off bro..

Itd be great if there is a section where some posts can be pinned so that everyone would see them.

I'm still doing my bachelors.
Anyone with a 9-5 job with 10+ years in the field not bored of everything in the universe and spending valuable time with family ?

On a road side bench. I was testing a GPS application I did back in college. The application stopped working when I get to the destination. I figured the problem right away and couldn't resist fixing it immediately.

[ Few hours later...] (It was a small change but you know, Android studio on a low end laptop)

Tested and completed the app successfully. Oh and by the way, it was 11 in the night. I can just imagine what the people that saw me that night could have thought. 🤣

Anyone ever passed docker builds between stages in gitlab ci?

I'm googleing my ass off and doing it via caching atm but it's unreliable. Artifacts are no option either for 2gigs of image.
It'd be nice to drop this `docker save --output image.tar` solution altogether..

Am I the only one trying to have seperate build, test and deploy stages for their docker builds?

"Fuck with me and I'll fuck with you"
- A badass dev

Hi All, I need some advice.

I have been working my ass off for a foreign client for 2 years(2018 college passout). I'll be getting an onsite opportunity in some time for a few months. I'm planning to study masters in Germany after I come back. The main reason I want to go onsite is because the pay is good and it could cover a lot of my expenses.

Would it be unethical to go onsite, work, come back and resign immediately(with notice period)?

Any suggestions how to tackle the situation because I also need some recommendations from my work place to apply for Masters and I'm not sure if they'll give me in this situation?

I hate it when devs use value attribute instead of place holder especially when you know that input text is definitely going to change.