My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Going through Master Card API docs to see how to integrate it, saw that they have sample code, checked Java sample code and found this:

String data = MessageFormat.format(
"'{'\"apiOperation\":{0},"
+ "\"sourceOfFunds\":'{'\"type\":{1},\"provided\":'{'\"card\":'{'\"numbe\":{2},"
+ "\"expiry\":'{'\"month\":{3}, \"year\":{4}'}',\"securityCode\":{5}'}}}',"
+ "\"order\":'{'\"reference\":{6}'}',"
+ "\"transaction\":'{'\"amount\":{7},\"currency\":{8},\"reference\":{9},\"targetTransactionId\":{10}'}'," + "\"customer\":'{'\"ipAddress\":{11}'}}'",
apiOperation,
sourceOfFundsType,
cardNumber,
cardExpiryMonth,
cardExpiryYear,
cardSecurityCode,
orderReference,
transactionAmount,
transactionCurrency,
transactionReference,
targetTransactionId,
customerIpAddress );

FOR FUCK SAKE what happened to JSONObject (for Android) class, I'm sure it is a waaaay better solution than that mess ...
And from Oracle:
JsonObject value = Json.createObjectBuilder()
.add("firstName", "John")
.add("lastName", "Smith")
.add("age", 25)
.build();

I guess that is a cleaner understandable solution than what master card has.

From my work -as an IT consultant in one of the big 4- I can now show you my masterpiece

INSIGHTS FROM THE DAILY LIFE OF A FUNCTIONAL ANALIST IN A BIG 4 -I'M NOT A FUNCTIONAL ANALYST BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DO-

- 10:30, enter the office. By contract you should be there at 9:00 but nobody gives a shit
- First task of the day: prepare the power point for the client. DURATION: 15 minutes to actually make the powerpoint, 45 minutes to search all the possible synonyms of RESILIENCE BIG DATA AGILE INTELLIGENT AUTOMATION MACHINE LEARNING SHIT PISS CUM, 1 hour to actually present the document.
- 12:30: Sniff the powder left by the chalks on the blackboards. Duration: 30 minutes, that's a lot of chalk you need to snort.

13:00, LUNCH TIME. You get back to work not one minute sooner than 15.00

- 15:00, conference with the HR. You need to carefully analyze the quantity and quality of the farts emitted in the office for 2 hours at least
- 17:00 conference call, a project you were assigned to half a day ago has a server down.
The client sent two managers, three senior Java developers, the CEO, 5 employees -they know logs and mails from the last 5 months line by line-, 4 lawyers and a beheading teacher from ISIS.
On your side there are 3 external ucraininans for the maintenance, successors of the 3 (already dead) developers who put the process in place 4 years ago according to God knows which specifications. They don't understand a word of what is being said.
Then there's the assistant of the assistant of a manager from another project that has nothing to do with this one, a feces officer, a sys admin who is going to watch porn for the whole conference call and won't listen a word, two interns to make up a number and look like you're prepared. Current objective: survive. Duration: 2 hours and a half.
- 19:30, snort some more chalk for half an hour, preparing for the mail in which you explain the associate partner how because of the aforementioned conference call we're going to lose a maintenance contract worth 20 grands per month (and a law proceeding worth a number of dollars you can't even read) and you have no idea how could this happen
- 20:00, timesheet! Compile the weekly report, write what you did and how long did it take for each task. You are allowed to compile 8 hours per day, you worked at least 11 but nobody gives a shit. Duration: 30 minutes
- 20:30, update your consultant! Training course, "tasting cum and presenting its organoleptic properties to a client". Bearing with your job: none at all. Duration: 90 minutes, then there's half an hour of evaluating test where you'll copy the answers from a sheet given to you by a colleague who left 6 months ago.
- 22:30, CHANCE CARD! You have a new mail from the HR: you asked for a refund for a 3$ sandwich, but the receipt isn't there and they realized it with a 9 months delay. You need to find that wicked piece of paper. DURATION: 30 minutes. The receipt most likely doesn't even exist anymore and will be taken directly from your next salary.
- 23:00 you receive a message on Teams. It's the intern. It's very late but you're online and have to answer. There's an exception on a process which have been running for 6 years with no problems and nobody ever touches. The intern doesn't know what to do, but you wrote the specifications for the thing, 6 years ago, and everything MUST run tonight. You are not a technician and have no fucking clue about anyhing at all. 30 minutes to make sure it's something on our side and not on the client side, and in all that the intern is as useful as a confetto to wipe your ass. Once you're sure it's something on our side you need to search for the senior dev who received the maintenance of the project, call him and solve the problem.
It turns out a file in a shared folder nobody ever touches was unreachable 'cause one of your libraries left it open during the last run and Excel shown a warning modal while opening it; your project didn't like this last thing one bit. It takes 90 minutes to find the root of the problem, you solve it by rebooting one of your machines. It's 01:00.

You shower, watch yourself on the mirror and search for the line where your forehead ends and your hair starts. It got a little bit back from yesterday; the change can't be seen with the naked eye but you know it's there.

You cry yourself to sleep. Tomorrow is another day, but it's going to be exactly like today.

Java 11 is out!

" I wish to have a job where I can sit all day and still have a salary " said the 9 years old me not really considering the consequences. 11 years old later, here I am with *a dream come true* along with a constantly killing back and knees pain at my 20's writing some java codes.

!rant && rant

I've been doing random HTML/CSS/JS crap since I was 11 (I'm 20 now). And worked with NodeJS/Swift/Java/Typescript for the past 4 years. For some reason, I've always been interested in public transit and the combination between public transit and Development seemed magical to me. I've tried making Departure time apps and trip planners for a few years now. And for that you need open data, for which we have a national data source and a Google Group for support with that.

I quit my study two years ago after a year doing nothing and I was on the edge of getting into depression because I didn't do anything useful for two years. Didn't see myself do anything useful in the next few years apart from some random dev crap (still public transit related).

About half a year ago I ranted on that Google Group about shit being not efficient (weird standards, weird documentation but mostly lack thereof).

For some reason a business saw that rant and sent me an email about two months ago and told me they 'potentially' had 'some' work for me. So I had some really informal conversations with that business but I still was very insecure about myself (had some shitty experience with tons of unfinished projects) and I was worried that they had higher expectations for me than what I could give them.

A week later I received an e-mail with a proposal for an actual, full-time job as a back-end developer and obviously took the opportunity.

I started a month ago with a month-long probation period and after three weeks told me I had passed the probation period.

I'm a super happy boy right now. I got a job, being super insecure, without any certifications, without finishing school (Everyone in the Netherlands tells you you NEED a diploma to get a job), more than double minimum wage (minimum wage is quite high in the Netherlands), and most important, at a business that does a lot of public transit stuff.

Apparently ranting about stuff, not finishing your school and being depressed gives you a well-paid job. :)

Desperately frustrated since my little brother started studying Software Engineering in college. I was so happy that he wants to do this, but they study 10 types of math and Java.
When he gets home from vacation watches movies for weeks and weeks. Haven't seen him write a single line of code for a year and some. I believe he thinks the outdated stuff and the piece of math they study will get him a solid job with the diploma.
I am a self-taught developer and for the past 11 years I have gaps in top of a week where I wasn't studying/coding/working and by watching him throw his good years ... this is not how I see good dev raise.
I was super pissed, because he started looking for a job last month (for me he has 0 knowledge to lend a job) after 50 applications he got 2 calls (one because of me calling an HR friend of mine and the little brat refused it). I tried giving him a part in project of mine - quick piece of work 2-3 days tops so he can add something to this one page empty CV and yet he refused.
I don't know what to do anymore. For me he has no real future if he relies on the stupid college education and the piece of paper with no real knowledge for the past 2 years of studying.

Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.

Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!

Now back to programming...

Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!

Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.

So there is this really cute guy in my class and he recently started to learn coding. Since I am 'the computer guy' in school, of course he got to me and asked for help. I introduced him to C# and for the next two weeks helped him learn and understand the language. It was so neat and he was so cute, doing all the mistakes I did too (1+1=11, that kind of stuff)

Now he informed me today that he switched to Java. Of all the languages, Java!! Guess I'll need to search for a new Padawan, fml

"No you can't use Java 11's `var` because other developers will [be boomers about it and unable to check types by hovering over variables for half a second]" - my team, basically

When I was 11 or 12 and I found a magazine for kids that for some reason had an HTML tutorial to build a personal site with Microsoft Frontpage. I think it was 2006 back then and for a few weeks I learnt a lot about HTML, managed to create my site and upload it to a free host. I was fascinated. That was my first close up, at least, to something related to programming. From that day, I knew I was going to work with computers. Now I'm a Java dev but I'm still seeking the language for me. Maybe Javascript.

Right so I'm new here. I don't really bitch much. Just want to see what it's like.

So I was hired supposedly for my java skills. I've been here 11 months. I've written exactly 0 lines of Java. On plus side I have gotten the opportunity to learn c# on the job but on the downside I spent my first 6 months fighting to get admin rights. I'm on my fourth company laptop (don't ask) and every time I have do the fight again. So I wound up doing a lot of not-programmer-stuff while I was waiting on admin rights. Apparently a lot of this is now permanently part of my job.

I was chatting to one of the more senior guys in another team here and he said he hated the first few years of his career, just doing "stupid front end stuff, move this box over there, make that button look pretty" meanwhile I'm sitting here wishing I could have the chance to at least be writing code

To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!

1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6 
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!

We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!

76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer) 
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.

WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)

Java 11 is amazing they said, Jigsaw will make things much easier they said, JavaFX is now just a simple Maven dependency they said...

Previous command to launch app in Java 8:

java -jar T10ReleaseFinal.jar

New command to launch app (not including the custom jlink command to produce the custom bundled JRE) in Java 11:

java --module-path "lib/javafx-fxml-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-web-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-controls-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-controls-11.0.1.jar;lib/javafx-media-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-media-11.0.1.jar;lib/javafx-swing-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-graphics-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-graphics-11.0.1.jar;lib/javafx-base-11.0.1-win.jar;lib/javafx-base-11.0.1.jar" -Dfile.encoding=UTF-8 -Dprism.dirtyopts=false -Dglass.accessible.force=false --add-modules javafx.base --add-modules javafx.controls --add-modules javafx.fxml --add-modules javafx.graphics --add-modules javafx.media --add-modules javafx.swing --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.sg.prism=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.scene=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.util=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.base/com.sun.javafx.logging=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.prism=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.glass.ui=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.geom.transform=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.tk=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.glass.utils=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.font=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.application=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.controls/com.sun.javafx.scene.control=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.scene.input=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.geom=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.prism.paint=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.scenario.effect=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.graphics/com.sun.javafx.text=ALL-UNNAMED --add-exports javafx.media/com.sun.media.jfxmedia.events=ALL-UNNAMED -jar T10ReleaseFinal.jar

I was 11, I picked up a Java book out of interest. I was fascinated from minute one. I got interned at a tech company 3 years later.

I'm really not sure. When I was 7-8 years old, I liked to view source in IE, then I somehow managed to use Javascript in the browser. First only some dumb opening of windows. And I liked Batch, so I made some files for copying, backup and stuff.

Then I got to PHP during the years from some online tutorial about making dynamic websites. My website was more static than stone, but yeah, I did page loading with PHP! Awful experience anyway, because I had to install Xampp, get it work and other stuff. 11 years old or so. (and I used Xampp only as a fileserver between laptop and desktop later, because.. PHP4... just no.)

As 12 years old or so I experienced my first World of Warcraft (vanilla) on a custom server in an internet cafe and I thought it's a singleplayer game. When I found out that no, I googled how to make my own server (hated multiplayer back then and loved good games with huge storylines). Failed miserably with ManGOS, got something to work with ArcEMU. There I learned some C++ basic stuff, which I hoped would helped me to fix some bugs. When I opened the code I was like: "Suuure." and left it like that. I learned what a MySQL database is, broke it like four times when I forgot WHERE and still rather played with websites i.e. html, css, js and optionally php when I wanted to repair a webpage for the server. With a friend we managed to get the server work via Hamachi, was fun, the server died too soon. Then I got ManGOS to work, but there wasn't really any interest to make a server anymore, just singleplayer for the lore. (big warcraft fan, don't kick me :D )

I think it was when I was 13y.o. I went to Delphi/Pascal course, which I liked a lot from the beginning, even managed to use my code on old Knoppix via Lazarus(Pascal). At this age I really liked thoae Flash games which were still common to see everywhere. So I downloaded .swfs, opened and tried to understand it. Managed to pull some stuff from it and rewrite in Pascal. Nope, never again that crap.

About the same time I got to Flash files I discovered Java. It was kind of popular back then, so I thought let's give it a try. I liked Flash more. Seriously. I've never seen so much repetitiveness and stupid styling of a code. I had either IDE for compiling C++ or Pascal or notepad! You think I wanted my code kicked all over the place in multiple folders and files? No.

So back to Pascal. I made some apps for my old hobby, was quite satisfied with the result (quiz like app), but it still wasn't the thing. And I really thought I'd like to study CS.

I started to love PHP because of phpBB forums I worked on as 15 y.o. I guess. At the same time I think there was an optional subject at school, again with Pascal. I hated the subject, teacher spoke some kind of gibberish I didn't really understand back then at all and now I find it only as a really stupid explanation of loops and strings.

So I started to hate Pascal subject, but not really the lang itself. Still I wanted something simpler and more portable. Then I got to Python as hm, 17y.o. I think and at the same time to C++ with DevC++. That was time when I was still deciding which lang to choose as my main one (still playing with website, database and js).

Then I decided that learning language from some teacher in a class seriously pisses me off and I don't want to experience it again. I choose Python, but still made some little scripts in C++, which is funny, because Python was considered only as a scripting lang back then.

I haven't really find a cross-platform framework for C++, which would: a) be easy to install b) not require VisualStudio PayForMe 20xy c) have nice license if I managed to make something nice and distribute it. I found Unity3D though, so I played with Blender for models, Audacity for music and C# for code. Only beautiful memories with Unity. I still haven't thought I'm a programmer back then.

For Python however I found Kivy and I was playing with it on a phone for about a year. Still I haven't really know what to do back then, so I thought... I like math, numbers, coding, but I want to avoid studying physics. Economics here I go!

Now I'm in my third year at Uni, should be writing thesis, study hard and what I do? Code like never before, contribute, work on a 3D tutorial and play with Blender. Still I don't really think about myself as a programmer, rather hobby-coder.

So, to answer the question: how did I learn to program? Bashing to shit until it behaved like I desired i.e. try-fail learning. I wouldn't choose a different path.

Fuck me. Upgraded a java project from java 11 to java 17 and now the shitload of power mockito tests are all failing because they locked down reflection. Now I have to upgrade to junit 5 and waste my life looking at these stupid unit tests. I sense a large purge approaching.

When I was young I'd play games and around age 11 received an Xbox for my bday. Hated the case, so I painted the case. Since I had it open looked into getting a replacement fan.Thats when everything changed. I discovered the modding scene and without having any computer background/literacy got to studying.

The program that caught my eye ran on Linux. *shrugs thinking how hard can it be? * Read about Linux and discover dual booting. To do that I needed to resize windows partition. Learn more about partitions and get to it. Finally prepped... Backup in case of the worst, resized windows partition, working Ubuntu bootable USB, and printed install tutorial. Check, check, and check. Install was good. Sort of.

While Ubuntu worked, the broadcam wireless chipset driver did not. Fast forward a week and I feel that i had mastered the terminal basics. And WiFi worked! Go download the aforementioned program and FTP into the Xbox and BOOM... It doesn't work. More days and hours spent researching. In the end it all chalked up to not setting a static IP address on Xbox.

After all was said and done I had a bitchin Xbox. I think the only thing I didn't put on it was some gold spinning rims.

Sad part about that Xbox is that I never used it after. Instead I just kept messing around with Linux and learning more about computers. Taught myself HTML/CSS. Learned more about shell scripting. Then Windows cmd basics. Tried programming languages but felt a little overwhelmed. Only messed with <10 lines of code to tweak existing programs.

Now I'm learning C# and loving it. Planning on C++ or Java next!

CircleCI:
- Ensuring work has meaning: "Let's make yet an other dashboard webapp that going to replace all of our dashboard webapps which we made to replace all of our dashboard webapps"

-Solving interesting problems: "Let's make this with java 15 instead of java 14!!!! Also add graphql to ADD interesting problems nobody had since the nineties!"

- Gain meaningful value from talent: 'Bitbucket and the whole pipeline died fourth time this week, I'm going to drink a coffee or two..."

- Developers in flow: "Joe went to have a lunch around 11:00, you probably should not look for him until 14:30."

- Bring buying decisions closer to the engineering team: "The boss tried to bring up the pros and cons between aws and azure... The police eventually had to break the ensuing fight in the meeting room. The survivors reported things got truly out of hand when someone mentioned line-endings"

- Bring leadership closer to the engineering team: "There was yet an other agile coached hired, when she asked how should we measure velocity one of the lead devs managed to actually wake up and told her that the wifi is still pretty fucking slow"

My older brother introduced me to linux and android custom roms when I was like 11. So I flashed my old sony Ericson phone with custom roms from xda and tried Ubuntu live CDs on my mother's old 40gb hdd laptop.
But my introduction to programming was when I saw some videos about the raspberry pi on YouTube.
I was like 14 and programmed basic scripts for my raspberry pi in nano over putty or notepad++.
At first I didn't even knew to intendent but in the process of my first project (Python sunrise alarm clock with tts) I learned many valuable things about Python and Linux/Debian.
The years after that I learned more with my now multiple RaspberryPIs, Arduinos and other hardware.
So in conclusion RaspberryPIs, the diy/open source community and especially my brother introduced me to programming.
I am now doing bigger projects with my brother and have (really basic) knowledge of java,Javascript,php,html,Arduino/C++ and Python.

Java 8 to Java 11 all in under a year. Convince me this isn't the Angular team working on Java. There are the ones with a knack for teleporting versions. Honestly I could give less care on what newer changes occur cause....Kotlin baaby!

Changed db host from sles 11 to sles 12...
Users had to set a new pw...
And there is this guy, who is longer in this business,than i am on this world...
Yet i had to show him passwd...
And now he gets back to me with the following:
C: "since the pw reset my password doesn't work"
> Cutout from the error message, which clearly says ssh algorithm negotiation failed
Me: "just to be sure, are your pws set correctly? And what client do you have, where does this message come from?"
C:"i checked the pws, they match. I still get the error."
...
Me: "... And whats your client? Does putty/cygwin still work"
C:"yeah they still work"
...
Me:"and what throws this error?"
C:"uhm Ant"
*Fyi: some version as old as the brown coals used to do some shady db2 and java stuff"
*Me doin a quick googleing for the error and Ant"
Me:"yup... It appears, that the java lib has some problems with the ssh algorithms.. here are some stackoverflow links, which described your problem." *at least make me try, please*
*Waiting for his response, which will surely result in pure enlightenment and bliss for me...*
Seriously... How dares java to fuck this up...

wtf is java now free or not?

who the fuck overviews this shit anymore?

If languages had slogans...

1) Java -- Buy one get two for free on your delicious NPEs.

2) C -- I burn way too much calories talking, let's do some sign language. Now see over there... 👉

3) Python -- Missing semi-colon? Old method. Just add an extra space and watch the world burn.

4) C++ -- My ancestors made a lot of mistakes, let's fix it with more mistakes.

5) Go -- Meh. I can't believe Google can be this lazy with names.

6) Dart -- I'm the new famous.

7) PHP -- To hide your secrets. Call us on 0700 error_reporting(0)

8) JavaScript -- Asynchronous my ass!

9) Lua -- Beginners love us because arrays start at 1

10) Kotlin -- You heard right. Java is stupid!

11) Swift -- Ahhh... I'm tasty, I'm gonna die, someone please give me some memory.

12) COBOL -- I give jobs to the unemployed.

13) Rust -- I'm good at garbage collection, hence my name.

14) C# -- I am cross-platform because I see sharp.

15) VB -- 🙄

16) F# -- 😴

Java jdk 10 just came out, but I only just started moving my projects over to build under jdk 9.0.4.

Oh Java 11 is out in beta as well?

Version numbers mean nothing to me anymore.

When I was about 11 years old I got my my own laptop and got interested in learning about computers. Started learning batch and could make some pretty fun text based games. Then as I got into my teens I stopped paying attention to the computer. But now that I'm older I see a bright future with Java development, with it being so multi-platformed. I'm now restating my passion for code and learning java. :)

Since you started your job, how many programming books have you read to get ahead in your job?

Examples:
- You're a Java programmer, so you read the OCP for Java 11 and then you get your OCP cert
- You're a .NET consultant, so you read another .NET book

In my native language the word Java means Week, so a couple of years ago when the second year of uni started there was an introduction to the distributed programming class and the professor had made some slides to present the syllabus. It went
Java 1 ...
Java 2 ...
Java 3 ...
.
.
.
Java 7 ...
Java 8 ...
Until here it was all good, then came this
Java 9 ...
Java 10 ...
Java 11 ...
Java 12 ...
Java 13 ...
Java 14 ...
I was like .... oh shit, I'm way outdated.

C++ is the building blocks for many high-level programming languages, and since 1984 its first appearance in the markets the C++ core committee developers have introduced its 4 new versions which are C++03 (ISO/IEC 14882:2003 second edition), C++11 (third edition), C++14 (fourth edition) and C++17 is the fifth edition. With each new version, developers introduced new features, libraries and APIs in it.

C++ introduced as the extension of C programming language which made C++ as a compiled programming language, which means the developer required a C++ compiler to translate the C++ code to its equivalent machine or byte language, so the Operating system of the computer can execute the program.

There are various C++ compilers in the market and most of them are open source and free to use, however conventionally when we say C++ compiler, we basically talk about GCC which stands for GNU Compiler Collection.

What is GCC?

GCC stands for GNU Compiler Collection, and it is a collection of programming compilers which induce C, C++, Objective-C, Fortran, and some versions of Java. The first version of GCC introduced in 1987 and it was also known as GNU C compiler which became the standard compiler for C programming language, in that same year GCC also provided Compiler support for the C++ programming language.

Now GCC has various versions and each version give specific support for C++ versions, by now if we look at all the versions of GCC, we have a stable GCC for every version of C++, but there are some exceptions with C++11.

C++11:

C++11 introduced as the 2nd update version of C++, it suffixes 11 because it released in 2011 or because on August 12, 2011, ISO gives official approval to it. Formally C++11 known as C++0X because developers were expecting the new update released in 2010, but with its release in 2011, the core committee developer of C++ changed its name by C++0X to C++11.

C++ 11 replaced the old version of C++03, and it also brings many new features for the C++ developers. The main aim of designing C++11 to stabilize and maintain the backward compatibility of new C++ version with the C+98 and C programming language and that’s become the main reason why core committee developers only introduced new features in the old standard library rather than extending the core language.

 

GCC does not give Full Support to C++11:

GCC version GCC 4.8.1 purpose the first feature-complete implementation of the C++11 standard, however, the 4.8 and 4.7 does not give the full support for the C++11. The current version of GCC provides the major support for all the standard features of C++11 but if you are using the GCC 4.8 or 4.7 versions then your GCC only provide you with the experimental support for the C++11.

To use the Experimental support of GCC you need to enable it first before you compile or run you C++ 11 version code.

use code std=c++11 or -std=gnu++11 to enable the experimental support for C++11.

Hia! I’ve been asked to have a talk on Java in the near future. Right now I’m not quite sure what to talk about - it can br all things Java - Spring, Java9-11, Modules, architecutre and what not. Any suggestions on good topics I could cover?🔥

Really long story. It begins when I was 11 years old, Harry Potter was kind of a hit (it was the beginning) and a lot of site based of the universe where popping everywhere on the internet. I wanted to make mine so much I subscribed to a french website which offered free tutorials on differents languages. The site is still up, it is now called OpenClassrooms and it saved my life a lot.
I tried to learn HTML (4 at the time if my memory's good) and CSS, but my mother didn't believe in my project and made me quit.
Nine years after, I was looking for something to do in my life: I tried a cursus in art history and archeology, I made a Baker school, but my life didn't feel filled.
I heard about a formation in a town near mine, and was for everyone, newbies or veterans, who wanted to have their diploma either in networks or in code.
The coding classes where fantastic. We learned VB.net, Pascal, php, laravel, C#, SQL, PL/SQL (we had a teacher who was absolutely fan of Oracle), I topped my class and now I am in the next formation for my Bachelor. Today I learn Java, Symfony, Android.
The ones who taught me to code? Internet, my teachers, books. But my teachers were the most important, because they gave me the confidence.

Rant 1
---

Thank fuck im working from home. Out of nowhere i had the biggest urge to take the shitter and shit the meanest shit that i could possibly bullshit. As soon as i sat on my shitter and opened the asshole wide a Waterfall of shit started flowing out ⛲️🌊💩💩💩 if i was in the office i wouldnt be able to hold this in. Their shitter would be my shitter all covered in bullshit

Rant 2
---

How then fuck do i install openjdk on RHEL8 machine? As root i tried yum but doesnt work. I tried using wget from Nexus repo to download openjdk zip and now what. I gotta configure the shit to be adapted to the migration from RHEL7. Also does RHEL8 even support java 8? Or can this shit handle only java 17? Cause this would be a beyond of a clusterfuck since the legacy code project is built to support only java 1.8.0, and for special cases java 11! How the fuck do i handle java 17. I fucking hate legacy code!

Java 11 released with two types of licenses 🤞🏻

I started programming when I was 11 and tried to write scripts for my gta San Andreas "server" in a language called pawno. It was fun but there were only few tutorials so I bought a book about c and immediately was hooked.
Now 8 years later I'm studying informatics and I learned a few other languages including c++ and java during those years.
I'm happy I played gta as a kid : D

Oh yeah ... Java is cool in an utterly sick way even that i can't seem to find a non-retarded built-in stack data structure
Call me a racist, but java.util.Stack has a removeIf() method in case you want to remove odd numbers:

import java.util.Stack;

public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Stack<Integer> s = new Stack<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.removeIf((n) -> (n % 2 == 1));
System.out.println(s); // [2, 4, 16]
}
}

Stop using java.util.Stack they said, a legacy class they said, instead i should use java.util.ArrayDeque, but frankly i can still keep up being racist (in a reversed manner):

import java.util.ArrayDeque;
import java.util.Deque;

public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Deque<Integer> s = new ArrayDeque<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.removeIf((n) -> (n % 2 == 1));
System.out.println(s); // [16, 4, 2]
}
}

The fact that you can iterate through java.util.Stack is amazing, but the ability to insert element in a specified index:

import java.util.Stack;

public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Stack<Integer> s = new Stack<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.add(2, 218);
System.out.println(s); // [2, 4, 218, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19]
}
}

That's what happens when you inherit java.util.Vector, which is only done a BRAIN OVEN person, a very brain oven even that it will revert to retarded

If you thought about using this type of bullshit in Java get yourself prepared to beat the disk for hours when you accidentally call java.util.Stack<T>.add(int index, T element) instead of java.util.Stack<T>.push(T element), you will probably end up breaking the disk or your hand, but not solving the issue

WHY THE F*** CAN'T WE HAVE A WORKING NORMAL STACK ?