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> Bang head against issue for days
> Finally get help from lead
> Watch them bang their head against it on video for 40 minutes
> Watch them shake their head in disbelief at how difficult to follow and objectively wrong the existing code is
> Talk through approach to fixing it and patching in the new functionality
> Listen to a short recap
> Ask question, get answer
> Chat about next company meet
> Meeting adjourns
> Jot down implementation notes before I forget
> Remember answer to question, forget everything else
FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU 😭7 -
I fucked up.... Pretty big today, biggest in fact I ever have 😓
I sent an HTML Email to the wrong... List 😢
As true to my last post. I told the truth to the client. They are cool with it...
I'd of fired me
Happy accident thou... They got more activity then they ever got...
😢 Going to curl up in a corner for a second ...6 -
It has been bugging the shit out of me lately... the sheer number of shit-tier "programmers" that have been climbing out of the woodwork the last few years.
I'm not trying to come across as elitist or "holier than thou", but it's getting ridiculous and annoying. Even on here, you have people who "only do frontend development" or some other lame ass shit-stain of an excuse.
When I first started learning programming (PHP was my first language), it wasn't because I wanted to be a programmer. I used to be a member (my account is still there, in fact) of "HackThisSite", back when I was about 12 years old. After hanging out long enough, I got the hint that the best hackers are, in essence, programmers.
Want to learn how to do SQL injection? Learn SQL - write a program that uses an SQL database, and ask yourself how you would exploit your own software.
Want to reverse engineer the network protocol of some proprietary software? Learn TCP/IP - write a TCP/IP packet filter.
Back then, a programmer and a hacker were very much one in the same. Nowadays, some kid can download Python, write a "hello, world" program and they're halfway to freelancing or whatever.
It's rare to find a programmer - a REAL programmer, one who knows how the systems he develops for better than the back of his hand.
These days, I find people want the instant gratification that these simpler languages provide. You don't need to understand how virtual memory works, hell many people don't even really understand C/C++ pointers - and that's BASIC SHIT right there.
Put another way, would you want to take your car to a brake mechanic that doesn't understand how brakes work? I sure as hell wouldn't.
Watching these "programmers" out there who don't have a fucking clue how the code they write does what it does, is like watching a grown man walk around with a kid's toolbox full or plastic toys calling himself a mechanic. (I like cars, ok?!)
*sigh*
Python, AngularJS, Bootstrap, etc. They're all tools and they have their merits. But god fucking dammit, they're not the ONLY damn tools that matter. Stop making excuses *not* to learn something, Mr."IOnlyDoFrontEnd".
Coding ain't Lego's, fuckers.36 -
Putting chatgpt to some good use. Writing a complaint mail to the idiots maintaining my banking app in the style of shakespare.
Hark thee, App Support Team,
With grave disquiet and vexation doth I write to thee concerning thy recent update of the application. As a software developer, the option to enable developer settings on mine own mobile device is of paramount importance for mine work. Yet thy latest update hath impeded mine access to mine own bank account until I disable this setting. Upon launching the app, it doth redirect me to a browser tab, where I am compelled to deactivate the developer setting to avail of thy services.
This conduct of thine is most unacceptable and unprofessional in mine eyes. It doth seem a transgression of privacy, for thy app doth dictate what settings I may or may not have on mine own personal phone. How canst thou deny me access to mine own bank account information merely on the grounds of having enabled developer options? How doth this option interfere with thy application, such that thou must needs coerce thy users to forsake their phone settings to utilize thy app?
I beseech thee to rectify this issue with all due haste, so that I may access mine own bank account without hindrance. If thou art incapable of doing so, then prithee, might thou recommend a more user-friendly banking application to which I may gladly switch?
With frustration and discontent at this time,
A locked-out person.
Backstory : So recently one of my banking app stopped working and forced me to update to their latest version. As soon as i opened the newer version , it shut down and redirected to my browser with a shitty html page with just one message : Disable developer options on your device to continue using our app. I was extremely frustated and couldnt understand what kind of idiots were maintaining this app.So i decided to write up an email hoping to find some solution for this.11 -
FFUUUuucccckkk me sideways. So I decided to look into USB type-c's power delivery and alt modes. Cause I kinda want to make an adapter card to run my displays over a single cable. TLDR of the rest: USB-C has some huge capabilities which noone is interested in using since its way to complex to handle for what its worth in the end.
Now PD alone is kinda ok to deal with since a lot of powerbanks use it and some hobby guys documented how to work with it. I find it really odd thou that you NEED to use a dedicated IC for using the configuration chanel to negotiate how much power you can draw. Why the USB standard didnt use some simple 5V low speed signalling? Also the standard says that you only have to implement 5v 0.6A with every other power level being optional. (This is also true for cables. Most manufacturers use only the USB 2.0 standard for them and brag about how fast type-C is. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) )
Now to the alt modes. These motherfuckers are a real shitshow to deal with. First you need a Mux to deal with USB-C's two way insertion, so your signals wont get flipped. Next thing is that you have four lanes at your disposal in alt mode. Which you can either use for four Display Port Lanes or two DP lanes and two USB 3.0 lanes. (You always get USB 2.0) Now you may think that there would be one simple chip to do it all? Nope you need atleast two at the price of 6$ each. One for PD and one for Alt modes. Both are very hard to solder (QFN, 0.5 mm pitch 40+ pins) TI ended up being the only one with a decent offering of IC's that do what I need. As for working with them, you would think that you just slap a simple MCU on there that communicates over I2C or SPI to configure the chips? Nope! You program the chips memory from which it configures itsself. And the programming is done with some TI tool which gives me no idea as to how you can handle everything whith no control logic behind it.
Looking into alternative IC's leaves me with cypress semi. And their documentation is basically a total mess. I wanna know what that chip is good for and what I need to do to make it work. I dont care about technical details mixed with marketing jargon nobody understands. And I really despise that I have to register just to download a datasheet. Especially since there is no info about it on the main page.
And this whole rant hasnt even touched the topic that USB-C only uses DP and nothing else. So you better hope that you have DP++ so you can use a passive conversion.
This was my Ted Talk about USB-C. Some info in it may be subject to my stupidity and errors as it currently is 02:15 in the morning and I need some sleep.14 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!
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Keeping my face straight as I ask them why are they asking me DS&A questions for a backend development job in which damn near everything will be taken care of by a package or a special config inside of something like spring boot or netcore and where damn near most of my requests will be of the form "can thou make tis button LARGER?"
Then watching their sad faces as I terminate the interview because I don't play those fucking games for web development jobs.6 -
Fuck windows. Fuck windows and their stupid old OS.
Sure. I want advertisements on my start menu.
Nope, don't mind getting a vague description of some update and having to wait to restart my machine. Don't need to know what your changing.
What better way to upgrade an OS than to DL 6 gb of stuff that's probably mostly unchanged code.
Bing. I'll take 2 please.
How come stuff on mac and linux is always different than the way windows does it? Fuck those OSes! Visual Studio is only like a 50 gig install and I can develop iOS apps on it... plus it has C# AND F#.
No viruses with windows defender. I upload my personal files so MS can scan them just to be safe thou.11 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
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Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
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This MOTHERFUCKER was hiding from me for three FUCKING DAYS now! All the damn time I had corrupt display memory cause of it!
Context: CS and DC were accidentally swapped on the PCB! Not a hardware issue thou. The pins can be remapped in software.
7 -
I just found this in my "Religious views" info on FB, thought I would share it even tho it's just a paste from somewhere. Don't slaughter me if this is a reoccuring thing on here😂
THE 0x17'RD PSALM
The Computer is my taskmaster; I need not think.
He maketh me to write flawless reports
He leadeth me with Computer-Aided Instruction
He restoreth my jumbled files
He guideth me through the program with menus.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of
the endless GOTO,
I will fear no error messages;
For thy User's Manual is with me.
Thy disk drive and thy Pac-Man-they comfort me.
Thou displayest a spreadsheet program before me
in the presence of my supervisor.
Thou enableth the printout;
the floor runneth over (with paper).
Surely good jobs and good pay shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I shall access your CPUs, forever.1 -
Manager was a douche again.
I mean not that it's anything new but this guy seriously has an issue with being respectful to coworkers and me. Has this pompous, I'm better than thou attitude. It completely ticks me off.
Guy needs an attitude adjustment stat. As a leader I expect better. I get you've been in the industry 20 years. I get it, but you don't have to be an asshole about it. I'm doing my best, I may code a little slower, but I'm not fucking stupid.1 -
Oh, gather 'round fellow wizards of the code realm! 🧙✨ Let me regale you with the epic tale of software sorcery and the comical misadventures that come with it! 🤪🎉
So there we are, facing the dreaded Internet Explorer dragon 🐉 - an ancient, stubborn beast from the era of dial-up connections and clipart-laden websites. It breathes fire on our carefully crafted layouts, turning them into a pixelated disaster! 🔥😱
And then, the grand quest of cross-browser testing begins! 🚀🌍 One moment, your website is a shining knight in Chrome's armor, and the next, it's a jester in Safari's court. A circus of compatibility struggles! 🎪🤹
CSS, the arcane art of cascading style sheets, is our magic wand. But oh, the incantations can be treacherous! A slight misstep and your buttons start disco dancing, and your text transforms into a microscopic mystery! 🕺👀
But fear not, brave developers! We wield the enchanted sword of Stack Overflow and the shield of Git version control. We shall slay bugs and refactor with valor! ⚔️🐞
In this enchanted land, documentation is the mystical parchment, often written in the cryptic dialect of ancient monks. "This function doeth stuff, thou knoweth what I meaneth." 📜😅
And meetings, oh the meetings! 🗣️🤯 It's like a conference of babbling brooks in the forest of Jargon. "Let us discuss the velocity of the backlog!" 🌿🐇
But amidst the chaos, we code on! Armed with our emojis and a bubbling cauldron of coffee, we persist. For we are the wizards and witches of the digital age, conjuring spells in Python and brewing potions in Java. 🐍☕
Onward, magical beings of code! 🚀 May your bugs be few, and your merges conflict-free! 🙌🎩3 -
Beware of those who give you garments and do not allow to mend them, for sooner or later thou shalt find what needs mending.
But beware also of those who give you badly rotten garments and say “Thou shalt prefer that above everything, for thou art allowed to mend it”.4 -
Day 1:
Optimizing huge problems for the company. Get mail. *sigh*; Why is your script using up half the CPU on our thin clients? *place in complaints folder and go on*
Day 2:
Boss asks about it during scrum meeting. *Oh shits*
Need a cluster. Been asking for it for months...
Day 3:
Start runs on all thin clients. *Thou shall feel my wrath*
Complaints folder floods.
Day 4:
Expect rage from boss.
"IT seems to have found a cluster for you at last."
Finally! -
So, I fixed this shitty code, real shitty, inlined some shit and shaved off some other shit and it was fixed...
The reviewer says we'd better request a review from the dude that's actually responsible for that piece of shit code - what the fuck...
Here comes this bossy fucker saying they don't really understand that shit so they don't know for sure if there could be a better way...
Me, ignorant as always, popped a vessel figuring out a cleaner way.
I tell those sick fucks that we'd need to change some shit over at another repository, also maintained by the latter turd.
The latter turd says they like my second suggestion better, to which I reply,
'ok, I agree.'
In my mind that pull was done, should be closed and water under the bridge but oh how clueless I was...
SIX FUCKING MONTHS later the same shitbag pops out of god knows where asking if I still wanted to work on the pull....
"Motherfucker, my pull was for this fucking code, not for doing work on the other, obviously I'm not interested in doing that or else I would've opened a pull there instead of here, dumb-dumb" - I thought
Thou what I said was:
"No, I don't. I agree it's a problem better solved at the other repository."
Maybe I was a bit mean, was I? I don't know, honestly, people confuse me2 -
Thou shalt not talk while I'm pooping.
-- New Commandment after the floor Karen confronted one of our colleagues about her talking on the phone while washing her hands.3 -
Windows... Thou art a fickle mistress...
How dost thou survive the most deadly code written by the most wearied devs yet cannot survive the adding of one of thine own features using thine own "turn windows features on or off"?
Thine face now turns blue each time thou art awakend only to again enter the sleep like death.
Leaving naught but the riddle of "service_critical_failure" each time before departing to the realm of dreams.2 -
ARPAWOCKY
Twas brillig, and the Protocols
Did USER-SERVER in the wabe.
All mimsey was the FTP,
And the RJE outgrabe,
Beware the ARPANET, my son;
The bits that byte, the heads that scratch;
Beware the NCP, and shun
the frumious system patch,
He took his coding pad in hand;
Long time the Echo-plex he sought.
When his HOST-to-IMP began to limp
he stood a while in thought,
And while he stood, in uffish thought,
The ARPANET, with IMPish bent,
Sent packets through conditioned lines,
And checked them as they went,
One-two, one-two, and through and through
The IMP-to-IMP went ACK and NACK,
When the RFNM came, he said "I'm game",
And sent the answer back,
Then hast thou joined the ARPANET?
Oh come to me, my bankrupt boy!
Quick, call the NIC! Send RFCs!
He chortled in his joy.
Twas brillig, and the Protocols
Did USER-SERVER in the wabe.
All mimsey was the FTP,
And the RJE outgrabe.
D.L. COVILL
May 19731 -
Working on a webpage. Using Flexbox for a 1-column layout. Now I need to display two Divs next to each other and I regret every lifechoice.
Why is it such an impossible task to put two divs in perfect alignment next to each other. Why oh lord have thou forsaken me.14 -
Well today ended in a bang! Had a typo in a dd command and nuked my entire work VM. Last VM backup august 2020. Time to retrace the entire work environment for a year. Not much work was lost thou as most of it was already pushed.2
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Bugs*, why do thou love me as such? Whenever I launch Windows^, thou art there!
* physical living bugs
^ actual glass window2 -
my biggest lol moment was talking to some hardcore always bring in your own algos and ds games to the table, always going to the core of the world devs, better than thou my shit is better than you ass, my point of view is the best in the world devs, cite papers and algos to you devs, shit like that that were making way less money than some dudester ruby on rails dev sitting at the the conf sipping on his drink.
Really, all that comp sci shit is legit and fun as fuck. But if you are not getting the green for it and living the life then what is the fucking point. Even then, those that are are normally fucking morons. This shit ain't some art, or a personality trait, it is a job.
Fuck me i am so tired of the whole hacker news reddit ass SO mentality of devs, then again I am also tired of mfkers with no knowledge of actual engineering publishing medium articles left and right.
As long as you cannot take human error out of this computer equation you will always have a shitfest of opinions, because regardless of correctness you will always have a shitfest as long as some dickwad has a difference of opinion in an otherwise young ass scientific field such as computer science.
Language wars, framework wars, editor wars you name it. This field is so fucking broken and so full of shit it ain't funny, made less comedic by the fact that it runs the world.
If we are going to die it will be by some massive kernel panic made possible because somewhere, some morons could not mergr a repo due to conflict in ideas. As if being right was going to bring you closer to not being an ugly fat nerd and getting pussy, or dick, whatever your flavor is you fucking losers. -
I'm officially convinced that my computer is cursed by now:
I get a Oculus Touch Bundle. Connect it to the computer, both sensors through USB 2, HMD too. One of them on an extension cord, experimental 360 degree setup (and yes, I'm covering the lenses when not playing).
Works great for a couple weeks, then I start getting 8603 and 8609 errors (USB connection bad or too little bandwidth. Usually happens when you do something else on the same USB controller).
Trying all of the setups that comply with the setup manual, none works...
... Thinking "fuck it, can't get any worse now", I connect both sensors to the USB 3 ports on my board (A big thou shalt not according to the manual).
Works perfectly. No lag, no loss of tracking.
Well, I guess if something applies to 99.9% of all computers in the world, mine is among the 0.1%. I'm a living corner case, 🤣
Guess I'll move to the Netherlands and become a Ganja farmer.2 -
I hate those "simple DIY" instructables. Just had to build something I had to get. Found out one "simple DIY". It requires owning a power drill with a table mount. And a pipe threading machine. Yes, I surely have a drill mount for drilling thru some steel, I know how to use a CNC machine, and maybe have a little metal foundry in my flat. But hey, it's a DIY not 'go to nearest store and buy that friggin piece you need' so you should have prepared yourself for some difficulties.
It's not supposed to be easy!
I still wonder why the author not assumed everyone own a metal foundry, after all. It would be much easier for all of us.
And I ended using PCV, glue, and a spare bottle. Had to buy drill for glass, less than $3. Wasted few bottles to cut out what I wanted. Beer was quite good, thou.1 -
Current design philosophy is that the user should be presented with fewer options, fewer ways to do things. Users shouldn't be empowered to created what they want, but should be "guided" into building what we (software designers) think they should have. That is almost verbatim from our company's product and C level officers and is echoed without deviation by product owners and strategists in our company. Holy crap what a bunch of presumptuous, arrogant, idiots. That holier than thou attitude promotes disdain for the customer: "the customer doesn't know better, so let's prevent them from doing it any way but X." The focus is entirely on what's easier for us, not what helps the user solve their problems. That's not a service oriented anymore, that just a bunch of pretentious dickheads that are on the road to losing customers.4
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This is a true story when I was working as a application technician a couple of years ago!
Before I started working there, they had a couple of incidents with ppl with less knowledge accidently deleted stuffs in prod databases, and only a handfull of ppl get the full access to them. I started working in this team, and one day I was asked to run a snippet in one of the prod databases from a co-worker with less privilege.
Loged in, run the snippet and the server STALLED for a couple of minutes! When the snippet was finished I looked at the screen and saw the output "1724217 rows deleted". The fun part here, was that we went to a coffee break right after this, and after a couple of minutes we started to hear ppl mumbling that the network was slow as f*ck, servers didn't respond etc etc.
Well, I responded that I got a snippet that deleted 1724217 row in a table and we ran back to our computers and started to work backwards to solve this.
The best part in this story is that:
* Was not my fault! Even thou I was the one that executed it.
* The tables was deleted from a live prod server that was not heavily used!
* I asked for a life line for us in this team, that we needed a prevented output so we can "match" the actual output after we ran it in prod from the ones from the developers!
Even thou it was not my fault, this is the worst mess up I have done working in IT over 10 years. O_o
8 -
For credential errors on login forms..
Do you guys follow the “OWASP standard” and won’t let the user know which field (email or password) was incorrect, just a general message or the more UX-way and let them know that it is for example the password that doesn’t match with given email (if it exists)? 🤔
Had a minor “discussion” about this with our sales-guy this afternoon why that I’m (as the full-stack, and only, developer there) not that of a fan about the UX-way.. (even thou ‘security’ is a “myth”). 😁9 -
Devrant lost it content, cuz there is nothing more to complain about. Everyone has already told their story. So normies come to fill the void. People who know nothing about technology except getting likes. Mostly with lame to mediocore posts that are rather far fetched in order to be called dev related.
Also a lot of good ppl seem to vanish over time. AlexDeLarge, Alice, Jase, Linuxxxx (thou he's back for now) and dfox/trogus.
Looks like we are soon going to hit a devrant depression.4 -
How many languages do you really know... I'd say 7 for myself
"Html" "CSS" JavaScript php "SQL" c# Julia c++ python
bit of c an java (count them as 0.5)
Get on my level 😉 seriously thou, what would you guys say you really know?33 -
We are all a little .. odd aren't we ... With all our quirks...thou that might be because other people are just ... Sooooo stupid
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Jesus God. This feels kind of tacky!
(Yes, I use "thee" and "thou", as well as the "-st" suffix. They maximise the clarity of statements.)
People who resemble me are rare, but I intend to form with someone who is extraordinarily similar to me an alliance. Because I have failed to locate anyone who meets my criteria by simply performing on-line searches for people who bear a resemblance to me, I am publicising this document.
I have an unusually dry sense of humour, one which is dry to the extent of often being interpreted as being extremely malevolent. I am a polymath who studies ornithology, various fields of computer science, electrical engineering, mechanical engineering, general biology, neurology, physics, mathematics, and various other things. I am more than capable of withholding from others information, i.e., I am capable of keeping a secret. Being politically correct is hardly an act of which I am guilty, and, in order to provide an example of my politically-incorrect nature, I cite in this sentence my being a eugenicist. I am the servant of the birds. I greatly appreciate the breed of philosophy which concerns interactions and general wisdom, as opposed to questioning the purpose of existence and otherwise ultimately unimportant things. I have been described as being paranoid about security. I do not in the slightest like meaningless crap, e.g., art. I often venture in an attempt to shoot tiny birds, because I adore them and wish to develop a greater understanding of them. I am proficient with most computer systems when a manual is available to me. This was a small assortment of pieces of information concerning me which could be used as a method of judging whether or not thou art similar to me.
Thou art, however, required to possess some specific qualities, which include being able to maintain confidentiality, i.e., not being a whistle-blower or anything similar. In addition to this, consciously believing that logical reasoning is better than emotionally-based thinking, and thou needest to be capable of properly utilizing resources which are available on-line, e.g., Encyclopedia Britannica. I also demand that thou writest coherent English sentences.
If thou believest that thou bearest some resemblances to me, please send to me an e-mail which describes thee and is encrypted with the PGP public key which is available at the following URL: http://raw.github.com/varikvalefor/.... I can be reached at varikvalefor@aol.com.17 -
maybe I've changed
I'd get jump scared from suddenly barking dogs trying to bite me...
Today I got surprised
Surprised by the fact that what I felt this time wasn't fear.
I felt hate, hatred so vile and bloodthirsty it instantly triggered a bug-eyed kobenz, murderously eyeballing the mutt
for the first time in my life a dog owner pulled back the leash and scolded their hellspawn
Cats are so much nicer
---
I hadn't, yet, taken my adhd meds thou, so maybe that's what bipolar BPD people do because now I'm actually surprised with my reaction4
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