My teacher’s Duckspear
Or maybe it’s Hamduck...

Imagine a world without Ctrl + Z ....

Long rant, sorry.

I’m pretty upset, or let’s say: I want to kick asses and chew gum but I’m all out of gum(The duke TM).

Yesterday we had a discussion in the office about salary basically.

Context: The company has about 150 employees and earns a lot of money. I’m the lead dev for about 1.5 years since I joined.

So I talked to our CEO/HR about a raise since I was hired as a normal fullstack dev(title is lead dev now) but have to:
train my junior(PHP), frontend guy(react), our QA(Automation with cypress atm), our junior devop(gitlab, jenkins, docker) and even assist marketing with GTM and adword campaigns.

I’m a jack of all trades basically since I was a freelancer for big brands for a long time.
I’m fine with helping/training, I like it a lot but I still have to watch everything and be fast with my own stuff. If anything goes wrong, people call me.

That will change since I train them all(They will all be independent soon) but still, doing everything for the same pay feels wrong.

Bottom line: CEO told me it’s cool that they can use all my skills but I won’t get a raise.

The worst/strangest was: My coworkers heard about that(as always in an office) and were like: Everybody should get paid equally because we’re all a team. Uhm, ok?

I just contacted the head hunter which got me that job. I guess I’ll just see what the market has to offer.

It should never be about money but this was confusing. People telling me we should all be equal who are on their mobiles 3h a day and feel underpaid. Check yourself, really.

People who think their pure presence is enough.. Germany -.-

Boss: Can you do Task#1?
Me: Ok *start coding, building..

*15 minutes later

Boss: Hey, that client need some fixes and it's urgent, please do Task#2
Me: sure, *switch to the new task

*30 minutes later

Boss: anything new about Task#1, I told you to do it almost one hour ago..
Me: Oh sorry, I forgot my other 3 hands at home..

Boss: what?..
Me: Because those fuckening two hands are working on Task#2, which is urgent as you said..

Boss: *walks away..

That moment your dad posts a programming joke on your Facebook haha

GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.

From a sad true story.

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

Best joke I have read this week...

Apparently USPS tracking numbers are case sensitive... I missed a delivery today so went online to check the status.

The code was RAxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTR
x=numbers

I first typed the letters in lowercase and it said package not found...

Really???!!!!!! Don't you think all those numbers are already too long...

I was doing something in Git, switching and I guess another process was doing a fetch and now all the files no meter what bench I'm in says Unstaged/Untracked.

I tried deleting the main branch and checking it out again from remote but nothing.

I have no idea what I did or how to fix... Seems like I need to delete the whole folder... But then I'd lose any changes in feature branches out local branches which afternoon checked in....

Was motivated to do a project with ReactNative for Android but already stuck.

I need to read a SQLite DB file from /data/data/some.other.app/database/DB.db

Yes I am rooted.

1. How does I request root from the App (Android Pie)
2. What SQLite npm package can load from an absolute path. I found a few libs but they don't seem to be full access, just for dbs in the app's own data folder.

Wow... Google screwed up in data collecting

TLDR why do I need to be like a competitive coder just to get a good job?

Why does being very good at technical interview questions beat having a portfolio of actual apps built using technology, tools, and skills that are much more relevant to the needs of doing the actual jobs?

I think Google's spam filter got hacked... Got 2 spam emails with those fancy printed subject texts... In the past 1hr

Life Coach: "I want a website where I can charge $5,000 for 6 weeks of coaching for [weird life problem very few people have or think about].

Me: "That'll be $5,000."

Life Coach: "That's too expensive for a website."

Me (inner voice): "tHaT's ToO eXpEnSiVe FoR a WeBsItE."

Me (real voice): "Consider it not as a cost but as an investment necessary to obtaining your first customer. Once the first customer is realized, you've paid for the website and the future customers will make you profitable.

Go die in a hole, Eclipse you stupid-ass dumbshit.

Wellp, I just had a cowoker send me a screenshot. By that I mean a .pdf of the application we both work on that looks like she somehow manifested the program into the physical world and ran it through an early 90's copier, scanned the resulting piece of paper, and sent me that.

"Hey boss, could you look over this reply to this support case before I send it? I just want to clarify a couple of things first."

"I haven't got the time to look over support case replies - you need to be proactive in deciding what's right, and then just sending them on."

"Ok, no worries."

5 minutes later...

"What the hell have you written on this support case? This isn't correct at all. Now they're going to be really confused. You've completely contradicted what I told them yesterday on the phone."

At home, on standing desk made mostly out of cardboard and hope, with 5 month old daughter asleep and attached to me with a sling

Finally, an explanation

So today I arrived on Ireland to hike for three weeks. Tomorrow I'm heading out together with one single other scout to walk 160 km from point A to point B, both of which are unknown until the minute we start. I'm not quite sure how much internet coverage I'll have, so perhaps there won't be so much ranting, commenting and ++'ing. Sad to leave for almost a month with just a couple of hundred ++'s left to reach the magic 5 digit score. Well, anyways. Unless I appear earlier, have a nice few weeks!

top categories of people screwing my job:
- consultant
- fake positive thinking attitude

We just hired a fake positive thinking consultant

Summer is coming, and i suppose all of you will buy a new barbecue to cook some meat, but i have another economic alternative.

How to make a homemade bbq:

1) Take an old laptop
2) Turn it on
3) Install Android studio (also works with intellij)
4) Add a lot of gradle (or maven) depencies
5) Code something cool (or not)
6) Build and compile it
7) Now you can put your meat on your laptop
8) Enjoy your meal

being programmer in movies is like:

Do developers have to get everything approved from the product manager. Even the name of a function and explain why you chose to pass something as a parameter? Isn't this micromanagement?

Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when a team member says "Hi" via slack/messenger etc. and then nothing else until you say "Hi" back, and only then describes what they want?

Dahhhhhh. Stop wasting my time. Just ask what you want.

ultimate debugging machine :D

(Original)

Wife: commit, and come to bed..
Me:
> git commit -m "wife wants me to go to bed"
> git push origin master -f

Brain crashed during live technical interview

Fml