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IT Manager: What kind if attachment did you send me in that email?
Me: A .zip?
IT Manager: ...?
Me: A zip file? Zipped Folder?
IT Manger: ...?
Me: Umm... the data file you needed has to be sent in a zip folder because 6 different file types combine to make it? Just download the .zip and extract?
IT Manager: I don't know how to extract the files?
Me: ...14 -
I'm hiring and I'm fucking done with recruiters buttering up skills etc and sending me BS candidates.
Interview earlier today...
CV: MySql skill level 10 (out of 10)
Reality: Can't write a simple JOIN!
Yesterday...
CV: PHP 6+ years exp, self proclaimed ninja/jedi/oracle.
Reality:
[Me]: Write me a function to map an array to x.
[Ninja]: What's an array?
I've come to the conclusion that the type of dev I want on my team is highly unlikely to be looking for work much less using some piece of shit shady agent to find work so I need to hunt him / her down personally and can use the phenomenally large recruiters fee as a hiring bonus / incentive.
Only problem now is finding quality full stack devs in the area (Johannesburg, South Africa).
I'm thinking of posting a 'challenge' job add to filter out good candidates - some kind of code challenge to be solved that gives them my contact info. Any one have any creative ideas I could try?31 -
IT Requests:
"I need (insert vague IT related need), because otherwise we can't do our job."
- What have you been doing up until now?3 -
Lecturer who is supposed to be teaching us to program somehow cannot debug his own code, instead I am telling him how to fix it... 🙈3
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A company on my LinkedIn is looking for a Jedi programmer to hire again... I guess their first Jedi didn't fair so well.9
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Having a co-worker who I consistently must support with using the basic funionaity of our software, getting me dragged in to a senior management meeting to tell me and my boss that I am too incompetent to do my job. All because something out of my control was taking longer than they would have liked.
This same co-worker deleted a folder on a server full of live data because they "wanted to see what it would do" then wondered why I revoked their Admin rights to that folder.
I want to scream at them every day.2 -
Well yesterday I had the absolute joy of marrying @GIS-Jedi.
I think I have gotten more Facebook notifications today than I did in all of 20184 -
A manager who felt that it was okay to come and speak to me about something that they were unhappy with in my conduct towards a member of our team, in a public place, loud enough for others to hear.
The conduct that made the manager feel the need to do this was my response to something another team member asking me to do. I had a lot on my plate with work, and had been given at least 3 additional tasks already in that meeting and my response to having to do yet another thing for this other team member because they "hadn't any idea what to do" was simply that I was quite busy and if it wasn't high priority it could wait one week as I have 3 other higher priority tasks that week to do. This resulted in me getting a warning and in a very public place.
Shouldn't have let it get to me the way it did, but the stress I was under and the way in which it was conducted just broke me and I cried. That nearly pushed me to leave my job and industry entirely.6 -
I have just started learning C# having previously known only Python. It's a learning curve - why is there so much syntax!? 😬18
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Sometimes I feel like a Jedi:
My boss says: Look the app is not sending any notifications.
I just have a feeling that he deactivated notifications in the app settings.
I check that and it was deactivated
Does that count as Jedi skills ? Or just programmer intuition5 -
When I realized "I" could change a computer's code. It was a very strong "I am the master now!" moment. I could be Jedi or Sith and control the destiny of this calculating machine for good or ill! I was the master of the computer universe! Also, I wanted to make games and graphics and sounds!
Now I write software that could legit kill someone really really if done wrong. Unlikely, but possible. Not the power I wanted...
One of the first computers I ever wrote code on was a 286. Quick Basic!13 -
Cannot believe I am paying for a course with a lecturer that doesn't even teach the students what a foreign key is, or the concept of a join table to breakdown many-to-many relationships in a database. Literally telling me "If thats how you interpreted it, it's ok to add that in, but you dont have to." In relation to adding a new entity into the ER Diagram as a join table.
It isn't up for interpretation, you are literally joining tables based on foreign keys that will create duplication and make no sense. I mean, you are teaching people who have likely never worked with DB's before... you cannot teach them this. 🤦♀️1 -
HR people on LinkedIn. What the fuck? Do you seriously believe you can attract qualified developers by telling them you’re looking for ninjas, jedis or life savers? I for one am still fairly new to the job so I don’t consider myself to be by any means a coding wizard, and I don’t think any strong senior developer is gonna be seduced by your catchy terminology (I may be wrong about that). Come on, talk to us like any recruiter would in any other line of business. No need to replace the words "qualified" or "experienced" with your stupid magic words, unless you want to sound like you’re desperate7
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A manager who asked me to research and produce documentation on findings on a new system upgrade we could apply. Report on the risks, the amount of resource and time that would be needed etc. And the benefits of upgrading. Then after recieving the documentation and taking 1 month to read it, refused to make any form of decision without asking managers 2 levels above them who respond with "It is your decision". Then deciding it's best not to upgrade at this time. Okay, no probs.
6. Months. Later. That thing I said I didn't want you to do? I want you to do it now, could you get that done by the end of the week seeing as you have done the research already? Oh yeah and I will be off for the next two weeks as I am off on a ski holiday, so good luck with that. -
I have always believed that clean code is readable code, and if your code is readable, then it shouldn't require masses of comments to explain it. However, in the course I am being taught, we are being told that in programming, comments are massively important to help another developer understand your code and what it does. So what is the consensus of the dev community?
Do you feel comments are key, or redundant if your code is written well?20 -
On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....
I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.
This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....
Either this or the rubber duck method. :) -
Part of my job requires me to use SQL in SQL Server and databases and Python and utilising Javascript APIs - so I was thrown in at the deep end. But my fiancé is also an amazing help as a software engineer he helps to spot my errors and encourages me to take on new challenges.
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"What you mean I have to get a log on for a sequel server? What's a sequel to a server?"
#IDontDoICT #CodeIsntMyThing #ServersAndSQL #GISConsultantInICTServices #ArcGIS -
When I was younger I went to computer camps. We would basically play LAN games the majority of the time.
One year we played Jedi Knight Dark Forces II.
This game was super easy to hack since you would just save a local version of the file and it would override the game.
There was a god mode that you can download which would give your character 1 million in health and never die.
I then modified it so I had a health of 500. This way if I wanted to prove that I could be killed I would just call the kill command 4 times to bring my life back down to 100. -
This hack is totally shameless. I quit smoking a couple years ago just to start vaping. And I always was allowed to vape at my office desk.
No stressballs Jedi this needs. -
I work within an ICT team, but my role isn't ICT specific. However, I still had to explain to my Team lead how to create a .zip and what the purpose of it was. He's been working in the IT industry for 15+ years... how...?5
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I really want to marathon-watch all of the Star Wars movies in order before The Last Jedi comes out, but I'm putting it off because I'm dreading having to watch The Phantom Menace.3
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I just realized that I didn't post anything since the premiere of Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
But I'm a force ghost now, so I should use devRant more -
ESRI's ArcMap...
Run a geoprocessing tool, now don't dare move the map, or click ANYWHERE on the interface! Don't even breath on the mouse pad! Oh... wait... too late... "ArcMap is not responding". At this point it's a 50/50 of whether it freezes for a long period then successfully completes the task, or it crashes.
Doesn't matter what you are doing - open the editor tool bar, create a database connection, make a table join. All will result in the same issue, such an unstable piece of software with no real market competitors to make the organisation build anything better (ArcGIS Pro wasn't much of an improvement, just another GPU Junkie).2 -
When the server doesn't recognise a folder it hosts locally... even though you have mapped it every way you can think of. Hello! This is your own drive!? Didn't anyone ever tell you you're name? 😣 #Server #ArcGISServer #HowDoYouNotKnowYourOwnName4
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How can you avoid becoming a knowledge silo if everyone you train and upskill ends up leaving for another job? 😩 So frustrated that over the last 5 years I have tried my best to ensure the whole team is skilled in my specialist area so, that they can manage it on their own.... Yet... here I am... a silo again.4
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Technobabble really bothers me… if I don’t try to overwhelm you with buzzwords and overly complex technical jargon within my industry, then afford me the same courtesy!3
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Submitted my first ever assignment for Computing today 🎉🎉 I'll admit I am surprised how little written code assignments I have on the Programming module though...
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I would consider myself a Jedi Knight when it comes to using Visual Studio, but has anybody done any work that sounds like this description? I don't think I've ever wrote code that integrated systems like this.. I'll certainly ask for more information but I'm always surprised by the experience this community has and wanted to see if someone can scare me away from this
4 -
I'm not really a developer... but my Mum and Dad did both say "You are managing servers and coding? You are a geographer? Not a computer Scientist?" x1
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Funny, I just said to myself "Of course, the developer does it right. anyone else doing it differently is simply wrong" on how to pronounce SQL.
Yet, when it comes to gif, I totally disregard the developer.
I guess I have to either start saying "djiff" or stop thinking that whoever invented something gets to decide it's pronunciation :D2 -
Microsoft Python Language Server SUCKS in both Visual Studio and VSCode. 😵😩😠
Doesn't provide suggestions for relative imports like "from ..".
Sticking to jedi... -
Part 2 of the .zip file saga. Staff member this morning emails me to say they can't get past the following step of my instructions.
*Screenshot showing them downloading the .zip file and not saving it anywhere, instead trying to open it*
... really starting to think that everyone in this place needs training in basic ICT tasks again. I was taught how to open and extract files from .zip when I was aged 11 in school.1
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