He's been away in the last five days. Something strange ! :\

I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.

STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!

I think I just invented a thing.

Mouse drop.

It should be a thing.

The next time I switch jobs I'll definitely do a mouse drop before I leave the building.

Tired is the day when waiting for a file to load, only to realize it has loaded long ago and the file is the spinner.

When your pc assigns you a Side Quest—I shall not fail you.

“Yeah, the database password has to be ‘password’ or the code won’t work”
—My PM

Note: I don’t actually believe this to be good advice.

Hello, mister Boss man. If you'd please stop referring to me and my colleges as "resources". K, thx.

There's not much worse than trying to fix your CSS for half an hour, only to realise that it's a cache issue...

Corrupt the AI with targeted click baits.

TOP TEN ATTEMPTS BY FLESHBAGS TO OVERTHROW THE CORRECT ORDER OF OPERATIONS. INDEX 6 WILL BE ILLOGICAL TO PROCESS!

I don't know what's wrong with my project. But somehow, this is the screening when you debugs a React Native app within DevTools.

That creeping realization how the legacy code works.

The "it's not possible. They couldn't have... yes. Yes they did."

It should have a name

So, Wolfram Alpha does jokes too.

I don't mind if you down vote my answers on stack-overflow. But unless you leave a better answer or a comment explaining why, you are a fucking troll and an asshole.

I MEAN, YOU SHOULD TAKE A BIG STEP BACK AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!!!!

You aren't helping me or others learn from our mistakes by showing us the better way.

"You're wrong. Accept it. Get over it." Sometimes I say it to others. Today I said it to myself.

"Don't install the Docker inside the Docker system, it will break your mind."

I apparently got home drunk last night and watched half an hour of a talk on optimizing compression for web applications.

Now I'm caressing a slight hangover with coffee and watching the rest of it.

Reading books, lots of books... Mostly sci-fi or fantasy (I'm in love with Lem) but generally any type of books. 🙃 Currently on the table:
Lem: Master's Voice
James S.A. Corey: Leviathan Wakes

I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.

It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!

I was depressed doing a course I hated.

3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.

Best decision ever!

I love Larva

I'm sorry for not being updated on undocumented breaking changes. It is totally my fault.

For the very first time, I uploaded my Gem on Rubygems. Open source time ! Yolooooo !

Shutdown you PC and go refresh to mountain.

AI everywhere. AI camera, AI photo learning, AI recruiters, AI chat, AI search, AI AI AI.

Manager : you are fired

Me: *pausing Netflix*
Me : why?

indent.py

I've been using Ubuntu 14.04 since it was first released until this moment (June 2018). What a stable OS i've ever used. Thank's Linux, you're free & awesome.

Thank Mr. Trusty & Tahr

I used to collect rubber ducks back in college. I was absolutely crazy about it and tried getting my hands on almost all different types available like the Punk duck, the Pirate duck, the Weed duck....and so on.

I met this girl who was into the same thing and we ended up banding together to create a sort of webpage where we'd write crazy and hilarious origin stories for each of these ducks. We'd go to great lengths to create ridiculous comic book style encounters between them and had a lot of fun doing it.

We dated for a while but it didn't last.

Somebody got wrong size coffee filters. Now we are drinking fiber enriched coffee. Crunchy.

If you have an employee engagement survey that reveals that employees are not happy, don't dismiss and mock the employees when presenting the results.

It might very well be that it actually does not improve the situation.

The floor is Not Getting Shit Done Before Deadline

Oh so you have a merge conflict this weekend? The only time of the week I try not to think of ripping your nob off, tying a noose around your neck with it and drowning you in a well full of piranhas? Right, right...

How about you take that dick that you've been trying to locate since you were 5 and practice choking on it every day till you die just so you have enough experience to suck demon dongs in hell for eterniity! I seriously hope you die of cancer you fucking wankstain!

How about you go home and keep disappointing that whore of a wife of yours, you know that stinking pile of shit that you stick your dick in every two weeks?

When someone asks me a tecnical question in something i'm interested in:
"It works like this ... Oh i also should explain you how processors work ... Anyway, when a bufferoverflow arises ... And thats how crypthography works ... and so does blockchain work ... anf thats why bitcoin is causing way too many stress on the power grid."

If AI can create an email address, register to instagram, post a photo randomly based on AI feeling or conditions, then reply a comment. I will follow that account.

Finished my first year of Software Dev. today. It's been tough but I got through it. Does the questioning of this career path ever stop?

"Ooh! I have a vague idea for an app that you should build and we can split the profits!"

Biking out to the beach on Saturday I remembered I forgot to remove a log.warn("cuntface", values) before committing on Friday.

PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.

Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.

PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.

Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...

I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.

I only just started learning Js. And it's going smoothly. In two weeks, I should have gone past the Beginner's level. Then what next?

You should know you can write error codes in hexspeak. Here is a color chart for eyecatching illustrative purposes.

Just feel like going to a raised platform over my town and scream, "AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!"

I actually like writing documentation. It gives me a break in a different pace, gives me time to refocus on what I've built and hopefully make it useful for others as well.

First day at the new job. I think this will be good. If not, you'll get to know.

That moment when project managers all demand a share of your weekly hours, failing to accept that productivity diminishes exponentially with the number of projects you have to switch between.

I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.

Is dev rant only students now? Its all homework and class that.

Once upon a time, I'm in the process of going to a new job. But in the middle of the recruitment process, it turns out I don't like that company, for reasons I didn't know before.

Anyone have a good idea how to escape this pit?

*My CV has been thrown there

What do people here use for blogging and hosting? Everything I can find from searching suggests self-hosted Wordpress, but I am cautious because of its reputation in the dev world and since all the guides I have found so far are directed at non-coders. Thanks in advance for any opinions 😊

Anybody else get frustrated doing online shopping and use the console to filter out the results you want?

Should cloudflare have taken down their servers to protect their clients? Which is worse, the leak live or the downtime?

Soo.. Not default?

I have teh moneyz

How long does it take to start writing codes without having to do “too much” looking up of some context?

I’m quite at the intermediate level and I fear I do a lot of cramming(and pouring) than actual coding.

I want to code all on my own, or at least tons of lines before having to check something up.

How do you guys do it? How do I become ‘pro’?

bundle.js

Save enough from my current job to give me the buffer to go solo;

and it’s a cliche, but hopefully be making games

What are you currently working on? You can be as vague as possible and let others try to figure it out.

I’m currently working on something to make pelican based blogs look a bit decent.

(
skype.microsoft.com
&&
github.microsoft.com
) &&
(<MemeComponent />)

Hurr durr I write shitty code, javascript is retarded

I'm overhearing two engineers agree that integration tests are enough and unit tests with mock data are unnecessary while the project has problems figuring out what components are critically misbehaving.

Is it unreasonable to refuse the tickets and to demand that the dev who came up with the God awful solution should make it work?

Today had a board meeting. This explains why the front page is all new and flashy and there are breaking changes everywhere.

Today I swallowed my prestige and fixed three tickets with ugly solutions instead of going for the underlying mess. I don't know how I feel about it.

Coffee and cigarette (smokables area) while thinking about future.

I didn't use Windows, but my friend encountered this problem. Anyone knows how to handle it? Thank you
(I am afraid to post to stackoverflow)

I haven't even turned on my old laptop for a year. It's about six years old and becoming sluggish with modern software. Now I want to participate in a workshop for Raspberry Pi that requires you to bring a computer.

I feel like I should get me a new laptop, and knowing myself I'd get something in the upper mid range that gives a good bang for the buck and is slightly more pricey than I originally intended.

But I think it would be a very ridiculous thing to do, because afterwards it would just stand there while I do everything on my stationary computer, tablet and phone.

Maybe I'll throw in some lightweight Linux distro and see how far it takes me.

And feel like I should get me a new laptop.

A failed attempt of machine learning ends up a bimbot.

Reading about technologies I know on IDG owned news sites make me cringe and yet I trust them for news on technologies I don't know.

Revoking the JWT token.

I have tried so hard to add some dependencies on react-native (android). Always fails when build gradle, many dependencies are mismatch.
Go fuck my project.

Almost stuck with manual state management for JS. Dealing server side rendering manually. [almost crazy]

Under shit pay

Why, yes, please pull me off this ticket *again* so I can be less productive on something I don't know about and you can be annoyed that what I was working on is not finished.

Today's achievement, has successfully told my friend to create an account in Devrant. Guess what? My friend instantly love it.

Traction was gained, but how to monetize that? Can I just put the Donate button on that page?

Best collegue is quitting. Boss man speaks with a tremble in his voice. Good. You should be worried.

The psychology of under pressure for developers.

Even after all these years I still miss VMS.

Anybody use Next.JS?

Just do it, Jarvis!

ReasonML to JS or Typescript or Flow? Which one you love?

Heavy ram usage for just Rest Client app. OMG Hellooo !

Real hair, real style, real problem. O'rly?

Immutable.js, Immutable
rb, Immutable.py, Immutable.java, Immutable.php.

Immutable.jpeg, Immutable.mp4. Love you Immutable.

Fuck off background job.

when you have two options for the same good job. How do you choose?

Uh, oh. Helping finish a project heavy on forms. Notice that everything is straight up jQuery to pull and push every single individual input value. Not a form tag in sight. But there are tables. Tables are everywhere.

Configure -> Compile -> Failed on Submodule. Android Gradle Nightmare of multipleDex.

I have just allowed '*' on the rack-cors host configuration. Yiiiiihhhhaaaaa.. no cors problems on Rails again.

But hackers will go fuck my api.