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My biggest dev blunder. I haven't told a single soul about this, until now.
👻👻👻👻👻👻
So, I was working as a full stack dev at a small consulting company. By this time I had about 3 years of experience and started to get pretty comfortable with my tools and the systems I worked with.
I was the person in charge of a system dealing with interactions between people in different roles. Some of this data could be sensitive in nature and users had a legal right to have data permanently removed from our system. In this case it meant remoting into the production database server and manually issuing DELETE statements against the db. Ugh.
As soon as my brain finishes processing the request to venture into that binary minefield and perform rocket surgery on that cursed database my sympathetic nervous system goes into high alert, palms sweaty. Mom's spaghetti.
Alright. Let's do this the safe way. I write the statements needed and do a test run on my machine. Works like a charm 😎
Time to get this over with. I remote into the server. I paste the code into Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio. I read through the code again and again and again. It's solid. I hit run.
....
Wait. I ran it?
....
With the IDs from my local run?
...
I stare at the confirmation message: "Nice job dude, you just deleted some stuff. Cool. See ya. - Your old pal SQL Server".
What did I just delete? What ramifications will this have? Am I sweating? My life is over. Fuck! Think, think, think.
You're a professional. Handle it like one, goddammit.
I think about doing a rollback but the server dudes are even more incompetent than me and we'd lose all the transactions that occurred after my little slip. No, that won't fly.
I do the only sensible thing: I run the statements again with the correct IDs, disconnect my remote session, and BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP FOREVER.
I tell no one. The next few days I await some kind of bug report or maybe a SWAT team. Days pass. Nothing. My anxiety slowly dissipates. That fateful day fades into oblivion and I feel confident my secret will die with me. Cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯12 -
Just saw a microsoft ad saying:
“Six reasons for switching to SQL Server on Linux“
Well done microsoft...7 -
Attended one of the best meetups ever. To give you an idea how awesome it was..
Speaker took the first ~20 minutes introducing himself.
His intro card deck kept referring to himself in the third person (he is the only employee in consulting 'company'). Ex. "Mr. Smith began his humble career .."
The powerpoint presentation began with him clicking each page, not executing the slideshow (ex. pressing F5).
Finally someone asked "Can you make slide bigger?"
S:"You can't read that?..um..sure...I guess .."
Starts fumbling around the zoom ...
Dev: "No, can you start the slideshow?"
S: "I don't know what you mean...there...I zoomed it, is that better? Now I can't see my notes..just sec.."
<fumbles again with the zoom>
Dev: "No, not zoom, start the slide show, press F5"
S: "Oh...you want me to F5 it...OK..."
<he *clicks* the slide show button>
Finally getting into code, trying to get out of powerpoint ...
S: "How do I get out of this fullscreen?.."
Dev: "Hit escape"
S:"No..um.."
<keeps trying to click on 'something'>
S:"I see visual studio, but its not on the big screen... "
<keeps click on 'something', no one is sure whats going on>
Dev: "Hit Escape to stop the slideshow"
<finally hits escape, then able to put Visual Studio on the big screen>
S: "Ahh...there, I figured it out."
Speaker had no end of making wild/random statements like:
".Net Core is the future of Microsoft, if you're using .Net 4.5...forget it, its not even supported anymore."
"When I was at Microsoft Build, I asked them why not put all the required .Net assemblies in one directory. Looks like with .Net Core, they listened to me" (he was serious)
"I don't use SQL Server Mgmt Studio. Its free and it sucks. I use <insert a very expensive SSMS clone>, its great, you guys should check it out", then proceeds to struggle to open a query window to write some SQL.
"When you use .Net Core and EntityFramework, you have to write your own stored procedures. If a developer can't write stored procedures, he shouldn't be in this business."
I was on the edge of my seat, hungry for the next crazy bat-shit thing to come out of his mouth. He did not disappoint. BEST MEETUP EVER!9 -
1. Connect your laptop to prod-vpn
2. Open SQL Server Management Studio for debugging
3. Walk away
4. Find your 3 year old at your laptop
5. Panic.
6. Thank Microsoft for locking the screen when the laptop sleeps.
14 -
(I wrote most of this as a comment in reply about Microsoft buying GitHub on another rant but decided to move it here because it is rant worthy. Also, no, I'm not a Microsoft employee nor do I have any Microsoft stock).
Microsoft buying GitHub makes sense. They contribute more to the open source community on GitHub than any other company. (Side note, they also contribute/have contributed to the Linux Kernel).
Steve Ballmer isn't running the show anymore. Because of that, we have awesome things like:
* Visual Studio Code - Completely free and powerful light weight IDE for coding in just about any script or language. This IDE is also open source, hosted on GitHub. It can be installed on Win/Mac/Linux.
* Visual Studio Community Edition: fully featured flagship IDE free for solo developers and students, can be installed on Win/Mac.
* Fully featured Sql Server running in a Docker container.
* .Net Core, which can be compiled to native binaries of Windows, MacOS AND Linux. You can't even do that with Java, you have to first have the JVM installed in order to run any kind of Java code on any of those operating systems. .Net Core is also an absolutely beautiful framework with so many features at your disposal.
...and more.
Yes, they've done bonehead things in the past but who/which company hasn't. Yes, they have Cortana. Yes, they force Bing on you when searching with Cortana (does anyone actually regularly use Cortana? Or Bing?). Yes, their operating system costs money. Yes, their malware-style Upgrade-to-Windows-10 tactics were evil and they admitted such. Yes, they brought ads and other unfortunate things to Skype. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about that Skype bit translating over into GitHub. BUT, the fact that so many of their employees use GitHub daily means they are dogfooding the platform, which is a positive thing.
Despite the flaws, from the perspective of a software engineer they really should be given a lot of credit for all these new directions they are moving in now. They directly aim to help and contribute to the developer community. Plus, Windows 10 is finally getting a dark theme! haha.
I think Microsoft buying GitHub makes a lot of sense. Of course do what you want about it, feel how you want about it, but casting the same ol' shade at them for anything they do seems a bit like automatic reflex more than anything else.
I'm bracing myself for the impending wave of angry hornets from the nest I just kicked. In all seriousness though, I welcome discussion on the topic even if you feel differently than I do. I'm not saying there's no reason to dislike them, just saying there are lots of new reasons to hate them less and/or appreciate what they are doing now.19 -
I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.
VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!
While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!
Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!
Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.
F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!
I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.
*Takes deep breath* need to say that.10 -
I've been pleading for nearly 3 years with our IT department to allow the web team (me and one other guy) to access the SQL Server on location via VPN so we could query MSSQL tables directly (read-only mind you) rather than depend on them to give us a 100,000+ row CSV file every 24 hours in order to display pricing and inventory per store location on our website.
Their mindset has always been that this would be a security hole and we'd be jeopardizing the company. (Give me a break! There are about a dozen other ways our network could be compromised in comparison to this, but they're so deeply forged in M$ server and active directories that they don't even have a clue what any decent script kiddie with a port sniffer and *nix could do. I digress...)
So after three years of pleading with the old IT director, (I like the guy, but keep in mind that I had to teach him CTRL+C, CTRL+V when we first started building the initial CSV. I'm not making that up.) he retired and the new guy gave me the keys.
Worked for a week with my IT department to get Openswan (ipsec) tunnel set up between my Ubuntu web server and their SQL Server (Microsoft). After a few days of pulling my hair out along with our web hosting admins and our IT Dept staff, we got them talking.
After that, I was able to install a dreamfactory instance on my web server and now we have REST endpoints for all tables related to inventory, products, pricing, and availability!
Good things come to those who are patient. Now if I could get them to give us back Dropbox without having to socks5 proxy throug the web server, i'd be set. I'll rant about that next.
http://tapsla.sh/e0jvJck7 -
Not a rant about anything in particular. Just a summary of some feelings stored in the hateful part of my heart.
Developing for Android: Add this third-party library to your Gradle build. Use (this) built-in Android class to make the thing work.
*Clicks link
Deprecated since API version SUCKMYDICK-7. Use (this) instead
*Clicks link
Deprecated since API version LICKMYBALLS-32. Use...
Developing for Windows: Please use (this) API call. It was literally already available before Bill Gates was born. Carbon dating has placed this item to older than the universe itself and it is likely the entry point for the big bang. It is also still the best way to accomplish (task).
Developing for Linux: "Hmm, I wonder how to use this"
> > > Some shitty mailing list in small blue monospace font tells you to reference a man page that is three versions behind but the only version available.
What? Those three sentences didn't explain it enough? Well, maybe you aren't cut out for this type of thing.
JavaScript: you know how it is.
SQL: You expect a decent-quality answer from stack overflow but you always get an outdated and hacky response and it's using syntax from Microsoft SQL. You need MySQL.
C#: A surprising number of Microsoft forum results ranking high on Google. You click on one in hopes that it will be of any sort of quality. You quickly close the tab and wonder why you ever even had hope.
Literally any REST API: Is it "query" or "q"? "UserID" or "user_id"? Oh, fuck, where's the docs again?
You thought you escaped JavaScript, but it was a trick!: Some bullshit library you downloaded to make your other library work redefined one of the global variables in the project you inherited. Now you get 347 "<x> is not a function" errors in your console. Good luck, asshole.
FontAwesome/ Material fonts/ Any icon font pack: You search "Close" for a close button icon. No results. You search "Simplified railroad crossing sign without the railroad". You get a close icon.
I think that's all of my pent up rage. Each of them were too small for an individual rant so I had to do this essay.2 -
Why are all my classmates building their web applications in PHP for our thesis? I know it's used a lot but for smaller projects there's tons of better ways to build a web application. Besides myself and another guy in this class (I'm using Java and mongoDB, he's working in ASP.NET and Microsoft SQL), nobody else wants to use something different. We only did PHP in one class so this seriously can't be the only language 2/3rd's the class knows.
Oh God it probably is.
8 -
"We're going to need to migrate our database and reformat it so it works with the new app."
Translation: we've been using Excel up until this point and need you to convert it to SQL. Oh god, people.2 -
I interviewed to this small company. It was a position requiring a lot of experience they said. They did Microsoft SQL server and their technical interview questions were so easy it took me a lot of time to answer them because I was looking for traps, like for real. Think I might've answered too complex for them as well.
In the non-technical interview they joked about how they'd need to reserve two saunas in team events (Finnish thing) as they were all male and I would've been the first female.
Then they asked questions about my *children*. "Who takes care of them when they're sick?" Ummm, yeah, illegal much.
In the end they didn't hire me but they took two interns from the vocational school (or applied sciences). Yeah, so hard a job a Master of Science in Software Engineering with (at that point) three years of full-stack experience couldn't handle but some not even graduate interns could do?
Oh, and fun thing was. A couple months later a recruiter called me about the same company. I told *her* the story and she said she's gonna drop that company from her list and said no wonder they complain about not getting people for them. xD
I also send a tip to my unions discrimination department. They used my case as an example in presentations so suppose this experience served a purpose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.
* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions
I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.
I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.
😶6 -
Employee: we have 15 years of Stored Procedures
Boss: just because we been doing it for 15 years doesn’t mean we should continue.
Boss coming in clutch.3 -
I hate SQL Server so much, don't matter how Microsoft say they improve themselves at SQL Server.
There's a lot of fucking bloat, messes your system and your services, adds tons of crap in your system registry, while more advanced SQL engines such MariaDB/PostgreSQL are more contained, and its very small.
Why SQL Server has to mess with Windows' ACL and his own privilege systems?.
Uninstall it and a lot of components remain hidden and tons of registry entries, not even TotalUninstaller or CCleaner can help.
I hate it since my technical high school and my goddamn college is forcing us to use SQL Sever for EVERYTHING, instead of good alternatives, messed my computer entirely requiring to format.
I try always to convince my freelance clients to use open-source alternatives, and say how SQL Server is so crap, (i had variant degrees of success).13 -
Dear Microsoft Kusto Query Language (KQL)
Screw you. You suck like more than a sudden depressurization event in an airplane. Creating your own freaking query language is bad, the people who invented SQL based it on a the principles of mathematical relational algebra, which although confusing, and not suited for all use cases is at least consistent.
You were invented by a bunch of oxygen deprived halfwits based on the principles of sadism and incompetence.
The only situation in which I would voluntarily use KQL as my tool of choice is if my purpose was to extract a Dantesque style revenge on someone who had committed grievous harm to myself and my family members. In that case forcing them to work with you day in and day out would still border on cruel and unusual punishment.
Sincerely, A developer who has spent the past 2 hours dealing with your Lovecraftian madness.
P.S. I hope you choke on a raw chicken bone and no one gives you CPR.3 -
Taking a database class, prof insists on using Microsoft Sql server 2014. "Okay cool" said the Microsoft surface fan boy inside me as I installed it. "Holy shit this is using 6 fucking GBs?? Eh it's okay I trust" again said my Microsoft fanboy self. Finished installing, makes queries and it works. Cool.
Go to run Sql server again next day and get an error (nothing displayed, just a box pop up and then a crash) I use some Google skills. Change a bunch of shit and still it persists. "Just uninstall it and reinstall again" says my prof. I do so except random errors during installation saying Sql already exists even though I just uninstalled it. "Maybe it's some registry keys messing with it!" do some digging, remove unneeded registry keys and try again. Installation finished but a whack of features say failed to install.
I sit and try to work this shit out for the next four hours (not paying attention to my class) and still can't get Sql to completely uninstall itself. I try iobit uninstaller, command line uninstalling, fucking everything but still not working. Slowly my fanboy side is wishing that the windows symbol on the back of my machine was an apple.
I ended up having to backup all my files and reinstalling windows to get it working properly. Holy sweet fuck. The worst part is when this class is done ill probably need to reinstall yet again to save the 6gb it's sucking up. So if you're not sure whether you need something as heavy as Microsoft Sql server or not for your application, don't use it! It's a fucking virus that is super difficult to remove.
Tldr: life long Microsoft fanboy becomes apple convert in a day of using Microsoft Sql server.
9 -
I called it "Microsoft S.Q.L" but Bobby argued it's Sequel not S.Q.L then I asked Bobby "PostgreSQL" and also he said "Postgre Sequel". Hehe sequel my ass then cus I'm sticking with my abbreviation.7
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I'm trying to code here and can't do find/replace in SQL Server mgmt studio because fucking "antimalware" malware uses most of my CPU. I'm sure Microsoft is mining crypto
4 -
In our databases lesson, we are going to use Microsoft SQL Server throughout the year.
This shit's setup fails at random, doesn't even start (empty error box??????) on some machines, and when it, uh, works, kinda, it's a convoluted mess.
Help.9 -
!rant
I've had a personal project (commercial idea) I've been meaning to get started on for a while, and today I started...
Kudos to the team at Microsoft, they've really gotten .net core and asp.net core to a fantastic place.
And the team at JetBrains have done an amazing job on Rider.
I've been able to get a docker container running SQL Server on linux, as well as Web API projects for an API and an identity server all running with local HTTPS and communicating quite happily, with barely an issue in sight.
Bodes well for the future I hope.
Now I just have to commit to the project and actually finish it 😂1 -
You want oracle database ? Load OCI.dll
You want microsoft SQl ? Load sqlsrv.dll et dotnet.dll
You want mysql ? Its already install
xD why the project have 3 different database :O with less then 2 table each !!! Ffuuuuukkkkkk7 -
Was running low on ssd space, so I decided to have a thorough look at what was occupying all of it. First I found out that I had about 5 gigs (!) of leftovers from microsoft sql server which I unfortunately had to use once (thanks microsoft for your shit uninstallers). Then I found I still had a .gradle folder (uninstalled a while ago, maven ftw) with another 5 gigs of cache. That should give me some room to breathe.4
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The Universal Windows Platform is really efficient. Visualizing a 13MB database literally takes 750MB of RAM. Thanks Microsoft❤
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When I began my sandwich course in a big French company, I was dreaming about cutting edge stack, rocket computer and stuff...
I was disappointed when I came to my office with an old Windows 7 computer, coding via LANDesk to an old server with Windows Server 2008 on it, with Eclipse ... INDIGO...
I have to use Java 1.7 ...
Tomcat 7.
PRTG for monitoring...
Microsoft SQL Server 2008 ...
One screen...
Coding on a codebase where, indubitably, MVC pattern was just a weird thing in books.
No UT.
Lasagna code.
Well it really disappointed me.
Luckily, the Information Service was very open minded and gave me a laptop with Fedora, 3 screens, updated the servers, and let me update the stack, with Java 10, Angular for the front, they are okay for using Docker.
So ... even if it seems to be fucked up, there’s still hope !!3 -
Whole class: makes an sql database using phpmyadmin. Simple, easy, meets the requirements
Me: fuck it. Use python with pyqt5. And Microsoft sql server Spend unnecessary hours on making repetitive functions, cause my stupid ass can't figure out how to pass more than one parameters in class methods.
All in all, it looks good. I feel like I did something, learnt something new. Took on a challenge. Its a wierdly good feeling, somewhat rewarding.5 -
-- This is my first rant so sorry if it's bad--
We have a nice project that I am working on that needs to store and interact with location data. It is a .NET Core API using Entity Framework Core to interact with the database. All good and well. Until today when I started working on the implementation of storing location data we retrieve from mobile devices.
SQL has a nice data type named: "Geography" which can store a location and do calculations on it with queries. Such as proximity and distance which is what we need.
But then it turns out that EntityFramework Core does not have support for the Spatial data types. even though version 6 did have Spatial support.
Then i found the following issue on GitHub: https://github.com/aspnet/...
Turns out this feature has been requested since 2014 and is even on the "High-priority" list and is still not implemented to this day. Even though in the issue many people are asking to have this implemented.
WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG MICROSOFT!!
So now i have to figure out how to work around this. But that is an issue for tomorrow.1 -
I am now a certified "Microsoft Technology Associate for Database Fundamentals". 😁🎉 Had to do this certification for my "Berufsausbildung".21
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Does anyone else find it super-confusing how Microsoft refers to SQL Server versions by both product year and version number?
For instance, we primarily use SQL Server 2012, 2014, and 2017, which are versions 11, 12, and 14 respectively.
The slight mismatch between the product year and the version number creates a lot of ambiguity. If someone refers to SQL Server "14," we always have to double-check: do you mean 14 as in version 14 as in 2017, or 14 as in 2014 as in version 12? Does SQL Server "12" mean 12 as in version 12 as in 2014, or 12 as in 2012 as in version 11? It's ridiculous!3 -
nobody :
Literally nobody :
Microsoft : Great news ! We added integrated blockchain in Azure SQL !
How about fixing :
performance issues
Stability issues
Reservations issues
Pricing
vCore counting16 -
Yesterday, microsoft showed me once again, what it means to "obey".
I tried to install Microsoft SQL Server 2012 on a virtual machine with OS Windows7.
The installation-center asked me to choose an installation-folder for SQL-Server.
No matter what, for any folder i had chosen for the installation, the setup replied with the errormessage "The installation-folder is invalid"
So i considered asking our platform-services team, whether they gave me administrative rights for the vm.
They did. I had full access to the components of my vm.
After a few days i finally recognized, that i had picked a wrong iso for the installation of sql server.
Instead of sql server 2012 + Service Pack 3, i picked sql server 2012 ServicePack 3.
So after all, Microsoft tried to tell me by showing the message "The installation-folder is invalid", that the setup weren't able to find an installation of Microsoft SQL Server 2012.
God damned!!1!3 -
!Rant
A couple hours ago I had an "interview".
It was like that:
- Show me your SQL skills, select from 2 tables, aliases, groups
-- Passed
- Ok, Now you have to learn Visual Basic .NET for getting this job, your first task is to create a simple calculator
My mind just exploded. Visual Basic?!? Noooo.... Really? I don't want to learn that Microsoft shit.... But it's good paid work so I'm trying it right now.
To be honest? I'm suprised, it's not that bad and I think that problems are not in languages, it's about cooperation, flexibility and enthusiasm to solve problems.
So don't judge programming languages and solve problems with them.
Still hate pascal and my English🤔
P.S.: Boss is amazing, smart....2 -
Well well well.
Story time.
Since we are working from home for the past 4 months, I finally decided to install a Microsoft SQL server on my home server. (Mostly was using Azure)
My server is running Windows Server 2012 R2.
Tried installing SQL 2019 : fail, 2016 : Fail, 2012 : Fail. Some obscure message about some DLLs not being at right version. (And a warning that it is no recommended to install SQL server on domain controller, but I know, it is my home setup, not roduction)
“Ok fine, I’ll install it on my PC instead”. Windows 10 PC. NOPE. “Cannot install on a compressed drive”. Welp, wtf ? (Of course you cannot select destination install folder, I could’ve put it on another drive).
So here I am. Working 100% on Windows, installed Ubuntu server 20 LTS in Hyper-V, Installed Microsoft SQL server on it (BTW, install is very easy compared to windows). And that shit is working. And new “Terminal” app does support SSH out of box, no need to add Putty !
So as a Windows user, I needed Linux to make Microsoft SQL techno work.
Nothing will ever surprise me anymore. (BTW it’s fucking fast. I like SQL server on Linux)2 -
I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop. -
Interns have degree's in 'Computer Science'.
I do not, Just a microsoft crash course on C# and SQL.
They are 3 - 4 years older than i am, yet they don't know how to use CSS.
I wonder what they learnt in that 4 years?17 -
Dear Microsoft,
I really like SQL Server, but my dbms (ssms) is like 2 years old, I installed it from a predownloaded exe we had.
Can you please let me download the update without asking me to register?
Everyday for the last years I had to see the update notification and resist the urge to click it and be prompted with a login page
Dearly, a Linux user who develops in .NET, sometimes12 -
Microsoft Dynamics NAVision DB Backend - 22000+ Columns of pure cancer. 7 booleans for determining what day it is... fuck off...
4 -
Microsoft: Do you know dateadd from SQL?
Devs: Yes of course.
Microsoft: Well you can also do that in our brilliant DAX language.
Devs: Ohhhhhh.
Microsoft: It only works with a special date table, though, and it doesn't work with a non-continuous set of dates, so please don't filter too much.
Devs: Please what??? 🤯😵
Why Microsoft, why? -
I thought I had seen some poorly named fields in tables. Then I discovered this Microsoft documentation for a table in SharePoint: https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/...1
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I feel like we we not only 'advanced' various fields by pulling people off some lord of the flies island who only wanted to dance around with a severed pig head in reality and training them, but also depleted and destroyed many essential fields by removing all valid motivators from our environment by spreading so much cynicism and unguided lust for power over others in the absence of any of the unifying beliefs of former generations that the professions are going to implode in the years to come.
so I wasn't very experienced when i went to work some place years back. I'd worked on my own. and I was criticized by their 80k per year team lead as having 'only done some simple things'... when his project didn't work, and par for the course their criticisms were coming from people who took a standard backend on a very large project that actually had been designed to function and something else likely needed fixed, to 'HEY LETS USE LINQ TO SQL APPARENTLY WITHOUT TESTING RELATIVE PERFORMANCE !!!!! AND WE'LL THROW SOME AD HOC QUERIES GENERATED BY MICROSOFT AT OUR SERVER INSTALLATION AND WATCH THE PERFORMANCE 'GAINS' THEN WE'LL BACKTRACK AND PUT STORED PROCEDURES BACK AND GENERATE HOOKS TO THEM LIKE A CLASSICAL DAL. JUST USING LINQ TO SQL'S CONTEXT OBJECT ! HURRAY I HAVE A BACHELORS AND 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE !'
There are so many details to fill in teaching the mindset of how to do things right in the first place is kind of expensive to begin with and you don't necessarily learn that in school working on common comp sci projects in academia. But they should have known better. I'm actually embarassed to list linq to sql on my resume as I think back.8 -
So, do any of your poor fuckers have the opportunity - nay, PRIVILEGE of using the absolute clusterfuck piece of shit known as SQL Server Integration Services?
Why do I keep seeing articles about how "powerful" and "fast" it is? Why do people recommend it? Why do some think it's easy to use - or even useful?
It can't report an error to save its life. It's logging is fucked. It's not just that it swallows all exceptions and gives unhelpful error messages with no debugging information attached, its logging API is also fucked. For example, depending on where you want to log a message - it's a totally different API, with a billion parameters most of which you need to supply "-1" or "null" to just to get it do FUCKING DO SOMETHING. Also - you'll only see those messages if you run the job within the context of SQL FUCKING SERVER - good luck developing on your ACTUAL FUCKING MACHINE.
So apart from shitty logging, it has inherited Microsoft's insane need to make everything STATICALLY GODDAMN TYPED. For EVERY FUCKING COMPONENT you need to define the output fields, types and lengths - like this is 1994. Are you consuming a dynamic data structure, perhaps some EAV thing from a sales system? FUCK YOU. Oh - and you can't use any of the advances in .NET in the last 10 years - mainly, NuGet and modern C# language features.
Using a modern C# language feature REMOVES THE ABILITY TO FUCKING DEBUG ANYTHING. THE FUCKER WILL NOT STOP ON YOUR BREAKPOINTS. In addition - need a JSON parsing library? Want to import a SDK specific to what you're doing? Want to use a 3rd party date library? WELL FUCK YOU. YOU HAVE TO INDEPENDENTLY INSTALL THE ASSEMBLIES INTO THE GAC AND MAKE IT CONSISTENT ACROSS ALL YOUR ENVIRONMENTS.
While i'm at it - need to connect to anything? FUCK YOU, WE ONLY INCLUDE THE MOST BASIC DATABASE CONNECTORS. Need to transform anything? FUCK YOU, WRITE A SCRIPT TASK. Ok, i'd like to write a script task please. FUCK YOU IM GOING TO PAUSE FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES WHILE I FIRE UP A WHOLE FUCKING NEW INSTANCE OF VISUAL STUDIO JUST TO EDIT THE FUCKING SCRIPT. Heaven forbid you forget to click the "stop" button after running the package and open the script. Those changes you just made? HAHA FUCK YOU I DISCARDED THEM.
I honestly cant understand why anyone uses this shit. I guess I shouldn't really expect anything less from Microsoft - all of their products are average as fuck.
Why do I use this shit? I work for a bunch of fucks that are so far entrenched in Microsoft technologies that they literally cannot see outside of them (and indeed don't want to - because even a cursory look would force them to conclude that they fucked up, and if you're a manager thats something you can never do).
Ok, rant over. Also fuck you SSIS1 -
I know a lot of people aren't fans of Microsoft here, but does anyone have some extended experience with using powershell?
I've been using it for creating a script that handles quite a large set of tasks for setting up and configuring some application servers and so far I have been really digging the language. Being able to invoke the script against remote hosts in parallel like ansible has been a really cool learning experience.
Admittedly it's verbose as fuck, so getting the same thing done in something like python/perl might be like half the lines of code. And I know that some of the commands illicit a "WTF?" every now and again. But I think one of the powershell tutorials I watched early on in attempting this helped make using powershell not suck ass.
Every command is basically 'verb-noun'. You don't know what the command or switches are:
> get-help "command" -showwindow
It will give you a list of options if you didn't select the exact command with get-help.
It feels* amazingly buttoned up as a scripting language and it's really cool to be able to take advantage of lower level stuff, like you can run alternative shells (we have cygwin installed on some of our servers), you can run C# code, you have access to interfacing with .NET api's. I haven't messed with anything azure yet, but being able to interface with products and services like SQL/Exchange/O365/azure/servers/desktops from the same language seems pretty cool.
Admittedly, the learning curve feels terrible though. I felt like a dunce for the first couple weeks, couldn't navigate the language at all, and was always in the docs trying to figure stuff out. I think I just needed to understand how the people developing powershell intended for it to be used. Once I was able to put two-and-two together about the verb-noun structure and how to find information/examples about the cmdlets it's been quite easy to work with it.
If anyone else has any extended experience with it, please share your thoughts/opinions. Curious to see if your experiences are/were similar to mine.
If you don't have Powershell experience, please feel free to share your opinions of Micro$haft and me for using Micro$haft products too! It's all good 😎9 -
[CONCEITED RANT]
I'm frustrated than I'm better tha 99% programmers I ever worked with.
Yes, it might sound so conceited.
I Work mainly with C#/.NET Ecosystem as fullstack dev (so also sql, backend, frontend etc), but I'm also forced to use that abhorrent horror that is js and angular.
I write readable code, I write easy code that works and rarely, RARELY causes any problem, The only fancy stuff I do is using new language features that come up with new C# versions, that in latest version were mostly syntactic sugar to make code shorter/more readable/easier.
People I have ever worked with (lot of) mostly try to overdo, overengineer, overcomplicate code, subdivide into methods when not needed fragmenting code and putting tons of variables.
People only needed me to explain my code when the codebase was huge (200K+ lines mostly written by me) of big so they don't have to spend hours to understand what's going on, or, if the customer requested a new technology to explain such new technology so they don't have to study it (which is perfectly understandable). (for example it happened that I was forced to use Devexpress package because they wanted to port a huge application from .NET 4.5 to .NET 8 and rewriting the whole devexpress logic had a HUGE impact on costs so I explained thoroughly and supported during developement because they didn't knew devexpress).
I don't write genius code or clevel tricks and patterns. My code works, doesn't create memory leaks or slowness and mostly works when doing unit tests at first run. Of course I also put bugs and everything, but that's part of the process.
THe point is that other people makes unreadable code, and when they pass code around you hear rising chaos, people cursing "WTF this even means, why he put that here, what the heck this is even supposed to do", you got the drill. And this happens when I read everyone code too.
But it doesn't happens the opposite. My code is often readable because I do code triple backflips only on personal projects because I don't have to explain anyone and I can learn new things and new coding styles.
Instead, people want to impress at work, and this results in unintelligible, chaotic code, full of bugs and that people can't read. They want to mix in the coolest technologies because they feel their virtual penis growing to showoff that they are latest bleeding edge technology experts and all.
They want to experiment on business code at the expense of all the other poor devils who will have to manage it.
Heck, I even worked with a few Microsoft MVPs.
Those are deadly. They're superfast code throughput people that combine lot of stuff.
THen they leave at you the problems once they leave.
This MVP guy on a big project for paperworks digital acquisiton for a big company did this huge project I got called to work in, which consited in a backend and a frontend web portal, and pushed at all costs to put in the middle another CDN web project and another Identity Server project to both do Caching with the cdn "to make it faster" and identity server for SSO (Single sign on).
We had to deal with gruesome work to deal with browser poor caching management and when he left, the SSO server started to loop after authentication at random intervals and I had to solve that stuff he put in with days of debugging that nasty stuff he did.
People definitely can't code, except me.
They have this "first of the class syndrome" which goes to the extent that their skill allows them to and try to do code backflips when they can't even do code pushups, to put them in a physical exercise parallelism.
And most people is like this. They will deny and won't admit, they believe they're good at it, but in reality they aren't.
There is some genius out there that does revoluitionary code and maybe needs to do horrible code to do amazing stuff, and that's ok. And there is also few people like me, with which you can work and produce great stuff.
I found one colleague like this and we had a $800.000 (yes, 800k) project in .NET Technology, which consisted in the renewal of 56 webservices and 3 web portals and 2 Winforms applications for our country main railway transport system. We worked in 2 on it, with a PM from the railway company.
It was estimated 14 months of work and we took 11 and all was working wonders. We had ton of fun doing it because also their PM was a cool guy and we did an awesome project and codebase was a jewel. The difficult thing you couldn't grasp if you read the code is if you don't know how railway systems work and that's the only difficult thing.
Sight, there people is macking me sick of this job11 -
Grr.
I have been struggling with schema compare and editing anything SQL related in Visual Studio for a couple of weeks now. Cursor constantly flickering, can't click on anything, and actually running the compare results in Visual Studio disappearing in puff of smoke.
I'd put it down to an update, but then this week's update didn't fix it.
Turns out it is a "feature" that Microsoft has been refusing to fix for over a year now, where none of the SQL stuff in VS works properly on a 4k external monitor. And of course I only started trying to use that stuff on my 4k monitor since I have been working from home.
Dragging VS across to the laptop screen solves the problem (and is the Microsoft fix), but I think I now need to visit the optician to get new glasses to see WTF is going on. -
Is there anyone here who is expert in Microsoft Sql server. Am getting error while connecting to local database.8
-
The whole windows server + ms sql server ordeal is the biggest fucking joke I've ever seen in my time being a dev.
The ms sql dashboard uses a hidden user to access files and stuffs, so I spent 1 hour trying to make the dashboard's explorer to find the database dump file, only to find out that the file need to be owned by the hidden user. So
I spent about 1 hour trying to set the correct owner of the dump file, but to no avail, the explorer still couldn't pick it up. Then I spent another hour to set the correct owner for the containing folder. Finally, a 6 years old answer on SO point out that I should just put the fucking .bak file in their default folder, and voilà, the fucking thing works like a charm.
I can't get why Microsoft has to go out of their way making permission management on their os so fucking convoluted. The fucking usernames are a fucking mess, you have to go through a bunch of form to change just the owner of a file (please don't start me up with that running some command on powershell bullshit, I would rather deal with bad GUI than a badly designed CLI)
If I were to being positive though, Microsoft is actually one of a few tech companies having a good technical decision of moving their shits over Linux. -
Why has nobody at Microsoft thought of implementing optional parameters for functions in SQL Server? I guess backward compatibility is something they haven't heard of. I mean hell, Postgres can do it easily.2
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