Boss : How do you access code at home ?

Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand

Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?

Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.

Someone replied to the Christmas party invitation using REPLY ALL... his family personal details sent to hundreds of people. Wait, it gets even worse: he works in the SECURITY DEPARTMENT.

?notFullScreen=false

manager: we had great feedback last week, real users were testing our app! However, we have noticed a lot of issues regards database performance and data replication...

me: oh, that's great news!! How many users? Like hundreds?

manager: no, 6 users so far

Seriously? Javascript is the best?Javascript is the future?

Dont get me wrong. I have to use angularjs and nodejs in my work so I am quiet familiar with them. Js csn be usefull and make things easier and simpler but it comes with a price... You can do someting in third amount of effort but you have to debug three times more. Yes you can use typescript but thats not an option always. What about single threaded design yes you can use callback and promises but really? Thats the way it is should be working? And what about that if you need one functionality than you dowbload a module but with that you are started to depend from other 737373737 packages.

I am just simply not getting this hype around JS.

" What's the big deal ?
It's just an if condition right ? " - Every manager / product owner ever.

And all the devs be like #facepalm !

0.1 + 0.2 ≠ 0.3

That's JavaScript.

And it caused me two days of agony and irrational bug fixing.

this kind of pull request reviewers.. lol

After the end of Sprint, well, the QA people came up with this defect ( mind it 'defect' ) : "The exclamation mark is not very red" [ sic ]

Cancer died a death that moment.

- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??

Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.

! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.

1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.

I was asked to update the whole confidential, financial database by exporting it as excel, and using Macros to edit its content. Much akin to adding one extra attribute per row.

The truth is, the table originally had 6.3k records. After updating and putting the data back to NoSQL database again, I realized I ended up creating 7k rows of data. Yet it works just perfect !

*HAILS TO ALMIGHTY FOR THE MIRACLE*

Sometimes, I still wonder where did those effin 700 rows come from, even after I skipped an excel while uploading

Got Familiar with MO.JS
Felt in Love with Animations it can generate...

Hi guys!
How much sleep do you need to have enough energy for the day?
Specially interested about the daily sporting coders.

Hi fellow devs!

As a developer it is a crucial to be productive. Obviously the most effecient way is to get in the flow.
What is your rituale to reach this state?

! wk95

My project back in university, where I used bash and NLP and Python to create a utility thay would execute sentences written in English. Much like typing "change my wallpaper to abc.jpg"

Even though the tokenizer took almost five minutes to tokenize a sentence ( longer than five words ), and the parser took even longer, I still love it, for it was my first dive into ML !

What's the fruit we often see, and find faults in ?

Pear.

Because pear review.

meanwhile I have all the love in my python code:

total = len(sys.argv)
if total < 3:

The product owner, cum our solutions architect is dumb.
It takes him ages to explain one shit.
Also, he is an expert on triggering useless chaos and panic, thanks to his innate abilities to misinterpret shit.
He thinks everything should happen at 3×10^8 m/s.

You've developed APIs. And they're working locally.
What's the issue in giving that to the front-end team to consume them ?? ( Said in angry raised pitch )

Somebody please let that dumbfu manager know that the codebase needs to be DEPLOYED on a server somewhere. Without that, you just can't magically build code from codebase and give it to people like code fairy !

Do you guys know brain.fm? Its superb making you more productive. I have found it yesterday and it is look promising to my productivity.

!wk94

Those meetings.

Those bloody meetings are nothing but time suckers. Much akin to some family event where they bring everyone together, regardless of their relevance to the agenda.

Also, the fact that we have been scheduling some important meeting always since 2 fucking months, only to be declined ALWAYS. The bloody meeting has been floating as an action item for 2 months, but none gives a fuck.

But no, we want to have meetings about meetings, and meetings about why a meeting didn't happen.

Also they ask us to stretch and accommodate, sucking time out of dev.

W H Y ?

Working on an epic of financial gateway transfer. Following what our douche onshore guy had proposed, we realized there was a can of worms ahead.

Discussing the flow ( aka which service calls which, which file calls which ) with him over the call, we had to literally remind him the entire script of flow he had proposed.

At the end, he says, set up a call right now to discuss the ALGORITHM.

And at that moment, CLRS laughed their asses off.

Why the f--k, to coercely sound technical, does he say ALGORITHM to a FLOW of modular components ?

Just askin:
If you have a method which returns a value from an array. What do you prefer in a case when the item is not found?
A)Throw an exception
B)return null
C)return a special value like a null object or some primitive type edge value like Integer.MIN_VALUE

Q).How does one try to understand how or what a programme is in a third world country with no basis of proper infrastructure?

Apart from using raspberry pi which not only requires a person to help yiu understand it but cost a lot.......Something that Completes the circle , from bundling the the hardware with seamless software out of the box and for the fraction of the cost of a raspberry pi

[Open to all sorts of input.....from this thing has no practical use to lets do something]

I dont see any advantage of TDD. I use integration tests and unit tests for very complicates modules.

Change my mind.