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Not a windows hate rant, just a funny encounter at work.
Was configuring KDE on my work pc and got the windows key to work after a little configuration.
Me: YAY I finally got the windows key to launch the application menu bar thingy!!
Colleague 1 (fellow support engineer): WINDOWS?! Thanks for the ear cancer mate 😞
Colleague 2 (fellow support engineer): Hey stop swearing!
Colleague 3 (senior Linux engineer): *grabs nearest waste bin, pulls it open, puts head in and starts to make vomiting noises* *pulls head out: don't do that again 🤢"*
Colleague 4 (senior Linux engineer): *gives me a death stare for about a minute"
Me: *completely losing it* 🤣
I fucking love this place 😊24 -
Me: hey dev, my in-app purchase isn't reflected on other phones with your app
Dev: *cricket noises*
About a week later...
Google Play: an update for this app is available
20 minutes later...
Dev: nope, that isn't an issue.
You updated the app minutes ago after being silent for so long. No mention of it being fixed in the changelog, no mention of it being fixed in the reply.. nothing. But I'll eat my hat if you didn't silently add it in and shoved it under the rug. Dickhead.
At least the issue doesn't exist.. anymore.
Please don't be like that...6 -
Mum: Tom time to do something get off your computer
Me: *continues staring at computer*
Mum: Tom?
Me: ...
Mum: TOM
Me: Whaaa? *moves head slightly up but still doesn't take eyes off computer"
Mum: Please get off your computer there's stuff you've gotta do
Me: *finally looking up* OK just let me fix this one thing I'm so close
Mum: fine, 5 mins
*5 mins later:
Mum: come on Tom time to get off
Me: uuuggghhhhhhhh I'm nearly done please
Mum: hurry up
Me: *tries to hurry and finish as to not upset her* please I'm so close
Mum: *furious glance*
Me: *furiouser typing noises and frantic clicking*
Me: *finishes, attempts to run the program*
Program: *runs just fine and problem I was trying to fix was working great*
...
...
*something else breaks*
Me: ok mum please just this one thing
Mum: OFF28 -
Got basically nothing done yesterday because I was absolutely exhausted the entire day. Thanks, doxxing thread. But I couldn’t sleep anyway so whatever.
Told everyone at home that I wanted a really productive day tomorrow (today) because of it.
Guess what happened?
Endless fucking distractions.
Because of course.
• Cooking since apparently it’s my job.
• Extended computer repair and maintenance, since that’s apparently my job even when it’s not my computer.
• Conversations.
• Children following me.
• People paraphrasing politics.
• People summarizing stupid fail videos.
• People relating stupid prank videos.
• More conversations.
• Endless random nonsense comments from children.
• Endless noises from children’s toys, tablets, playing, etc.
• Children following me when I leave.
• Taking half an hour to order food instead of five minutes.
• Cleaning since nobody else ever does.
• Picking up toys since nobody else will and I’M FUCKING TIRED OF STEPPING ON AND TRIPPING OVER THEM.
• More fucking food prep.
• Endless random nonsense comments from children.
• More conversations.
Is it any wonder I’m so fucking pissed off every workday?
I can’t wait to move so I can have a fucking office with a fucking door and a fucking lock. And you know what? I’m going to splurge and install some fucking soundproofing, too.
WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!? I’M PAYING FOR YOUR FUCKING EVERYTHING. FUCK THE FUCK OFF!19 -
Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.
Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").
So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:
"Should groceries really do that?"
He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.4 -
OMFG
Waking up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling in my ear and noises. Started shaking the head, which did nothing except panicking because of intensifying scratch noises in my head.
Getting the fear to be eaten inside out.
Get the phone and call sister to get me to the doc but her phone is powered off. Starting to Google "consequences of an cockroach in your ear", reading this is not as bad as I thought and that some people do not even realize it !??
Laying down for 3 minutes in the dark, *heating up and feeling my pulse* hoping it will crawl out. Which obviously did not fucking happened, this sucker just squatted my ear.
So I go to the bathroom and start filling up the tub. While it is filling up, I Google "how to get cockroach out of your ear". Finding an article that you should pour oil in your ear to suffocate the squatter. So I go to the kitchen, grab my sunflower oil, go to the mirror and start pouring. I am starting to shine like a bodybuilder and hear the noises again. After what felt like an eternity, I hear even more scratching in my head, this is the moment I do half a headbang and *wush* *flap* something hit the ground. I look down in the hope it wasn't just the sunflower oil and see this little thing which is clearly a cockroach. I am fucking relieved, not hearing any noises anymore.26 -
I decided to build a garden and not type for at least 12 hours, I needed a break.
I got a lot of flowers, they attract bees. The bees are out doing what they do best, I'm a supporter of bees. While cleaning off one flower, I freaked a few bees out, and my hands got stung.
12 hours just turned into 72 hours, and my colleagues are making buzzzz noises. I still love bees.4 -
I'm hereby quitting as a dev and decide to become a maid in a maid cafe cos I just witnessed someone break my code with their hacky fix
seriously, fuck him. Now excuse me, I gotta don a maid uniform and chant cute noises3 -
Today a colleague was making weird noises because he was modifying some data files where half of the data needed to be updated with a name field, there were 4 files all about 1200 lines big.
I asked how he was doing and he said he was ready to kill himself, after he explained why I asked why he was doing if manually. He said he normally uses regex for it but he couldnt do this with a regex.
I opened VS code for him, used the multiselect thing (CTRL+D) and changed one of the files in about 2 minutes. Something he was working on for over half an hour already.... He thanked me about a million times for explaining it to him.
If you ever find yourself in a position where you have a tedious task which takes hours, please ask if somebody knows a way of doing it quicker. Doing something in 2 minutes is quite a bit cheaper and better for your mental state than doing the same thing manually In 3 hours (our estimate)4 -
Namecheap: *cricket noises for over a year*
Today: "hEy ThErE cOnDoR, yOuR dOmAiN WiL eXPirE iN 24 hOuRs!1! rEnEw NoW, yOU rEadY?"
Me: "No you motherfucking bastards, a bank transfer takes 3 days at least. Oh wait you don't even accept bank transfer, how convenient!"
And what if I didn't see that email right after your fucking craptacular automated notification system sent it to me, hmm? Don't you Namecheap of all companies know how fucking *vile* domain squatting on the .com is?!!
MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!!! Jeopardize my domains like that *one more fucking time*, and guess who will be taking his assets to the sexist bastards that I tried avoiding for so long, GoDaddy! FUCKERS!!!21 -
A friend got a "new" (several years old) pc from an other friend. The pc made strange noises, so I open it and found a little speaker connected to the USB pins on the mainboard. Not an USB speaker but a simple mini speaker with two cables (see the picture). Why would someone do this?
16 -
The wife and I decided (together) to change our daily habits and get up early again (together).
It's 6am now, I was rudely awakened by overtly excited dolphin noises (the alarm I set), crawled out of bed towards my coffee machine (for an intravenous pick-me-up) and now sit here, in the kitchen, half an hour later and alone, all while she's sleeping like a beautiful perfect little angel.
I am contemplating whether or not I should powerbomb back into bed to wake her up or just brush my teeth and leave for work, letting her sleep.
Which would be worse, because she'd sleep till, like, 10am, be late and all that.
Well guess what.
21 -
My laptop started making faint high-pitched noises - I hope I misheard and it's actually just some coil singing inside the power-supply and not one of the disks/something else - also, I seem to have dropped 4GB of RAM suddenly where there should be 8GB.
(Also, I should really wipe the messed up dual-boot still residing on disk from last semester and replace it by a fresh arch-only install. (No time and joy in debugging that right now.) Probably something for tomorrow evening.)
The device is ~8 years old by now and starting to fall apart - nothing duct tape can't fix - but I'm somewhat worried about the rest right now. D:
Meh, I really need that laptop during the next two weeks, I just hope the hardware doesn't die on me in the meantime because I can't wait for an order to arrive, let alone afford some cheap replacement.11 -
Saw a silent mouse. No clicking noise.
Ohhh thats pretty cool I guess.
Tested the silent one and normal one.
Liked the normal one because it has clicking noises.2 -
> be me
> spend 0.02 Ether (about €5) on one of those old-school MUD-style games
> send to the same Ethereum wallet from a previous purchase
> realize that the destination wallet changes for each purchase (probably to mitigate the fact that transaction history and contents in Ethereum wallets is entirely public)
> send an email to the game dev asking to return the transaction or pass it on to my player account
> *cricket noises*
About a week later, i.e. now:
*checks that Ethereum account that I accidentally sent that transaction to*
> $0 on it, transaction has been withdrawn
Now I couldn't care less about the €5 - it's only 2 beers worth - but what I do care about is honesty. Dear Chat Wars admin, that money wasn't yours. Also, I am one of those players that plays very few games but tends to commit to those I do play. The last one I played, I spent several hundreds of euros on over the couple of years I played it. I could've probably paid for your servers, spare time development and then some. But obviously not anymore. Choosing a quick grab of €5 over a relatively steady source of income from someone that tends to financially support what he likes... Re-evaluate your life choices.
Just like that incident with the stolen flash drive that was worth only €10... I couldn't care less about the raw value of them, but I do feel very disappointed in humanity when people go for a quick grab of such worthless things.5 -
I hate open space offices for following reasons
- bright environment (I cannot turn off the light just for my own)
- noises (talking, discussions, chewing)
- requests and questions
- people
But I still cannot afford to be in my own office room yet.
Now I have to wear a cap inside the office like a mad-hatter and plug my ears with earphones even without playing any music.11 -
The guy that sits opposite me eats with his mouth open and makes "onming" noises.
Also when he needs to call people overseas he goes on to speaker, and sometimes eats lunch while on calls!
I forgot to mention he's incredibly loud, that with my headset (Siberia V2) I at some points max it out :/
Bad for my ears3 -
Nowhere near my worst co-worker, but still funny.
The Dev team were all in a separate glass walled room with the business & support staff out in a bigger room outside. As is our wont, we wore headphones while working a lot.
One of the non technical folks asked me why and I said it helps me focus by keeping out distracting noises.
"Oh, I thought you were listening to code or something"
😮
It was kind of an eye-opener as to how little clue a person sitting just 4 meters away had of what I did or how I did it. And actually it helped explain some confusing interactions...4 -
A few hours ago I decided it was a good idea to to clean up my keyboard. I did so and took a walk leaving the keys to dry.
After I came back I hoovered the -board and decided to put back the keys. I started with the special keys since they were the easiest to find (and some required a metal thing).
Now, I was quickly made aware of something that I had never known nor noticed before. Bear with me here as I'm not a person that cares too much about hardware unless I need to. (Hardware here meaning stuff like mice, keyboards, headsets, and stuff like that). But I learned that
Not all keys are the same size. They look really similar to someone like me. But I manned up and put the keys back.
A little under 1.5 hours later and I now posses a keyboard that is in uncanny valley. It doesn't feel like it though, and it shouldn't be that big of a problem since I never look at my keyboard anyway.
Messaged one of my m8's about and this was his reply
"nope
one kind per row
usually says the row on the underside"
Now fantasize about the elasmobranch fish which is characterized by a cartilaginous skeleton of which I am the proprietor at what he said. I pulled a key out and, sure enough, "C28 R1".
Now I am not sure about the 28th column, but it did fit in the first row.
Fuck me
9 -
Let's install some Addons! Hmm where is that menu item... oh could it be called Extensions? No? Wait... maybe Plugins then?
Maybe it's inside of a Settings window. Oh there's nothing called settings in this endless menu I think. Or is it called Preferences? Options? Properties? Configuration? Ugh and should I look in the File or Edit or Extra menu in this App, Application and/or Program?
Maybe I can Search for it?
OH YOU FUCKING NAMED THAT FIND INSTEAD OF SEARCH, YOU PRESUMPTUOUS PRICK, I CAN'T FUCKING FIND ANYTHING IN YOUR BLOATED GOO OF A GUI.
*scrambles back into his bash-shell like a hermit crab, making soft defensive noises*8 -
!dev-related
Didn't think that'd ever happen, but I got back together with my girlfriend.
We hadn't seen each other for a while due to... let's call it a "very unfortunate combination of circumstances", which made me sad (and her too, apparently).11 -
I absolutely fucking HATE having to sleep with either a full nose or a throat making odd noises everytime I breathe
There is NOTHING (including eating noises) that agitate me more than having to use my mouth for breathing because my nose is full. I'm already addicted to nose spray because I'm sick and I can't breathe at night, but FUCK waking up at 3 in the morning because I can't breathe properly or have too much snot up my canals.
FUCK IT
I can tolerate mouth breathing normally, just so I can control the amount of nose spray I take while I'm sick, but LEAVE ME A LONE AT NIGHT PLEASE
I NEED SLEEP OKAY
>:(6 -
Do you guys dream about programming?
Tonight I was dreaming that I was building a client for some API and suddenly it started responding with 500 and then sent me a 50X "metal sound" (I don't remember the actual number), that meant the server was doing noises because of a mechanical failure.
I thought it was cool (because metal 🤘), until I realised the server was running on my laptop.
I started panicking and then woke up.4 -
Am I the only one who can't take the IT nonsense in TV SERIES (especially crime series) anymore? ANY UI shown on an arbitrary screen looks like garbage! And in addition to the f*cked up screen designs, every damn action of course makes weird beep noises, which would be totally annoying after like 3 secs IRL. How the heck are we supposed to take such BS seriously? This totally destroys so many TV series for me!
(Also, I have to explain to my wife why I'm laughing all the time! :p)8 -
Say hello to <name to be determined>.
Apparently it's tradition to ask for naming suggestions so let's hear em.
13 -
covid is making life hard again. I can't just stop in the middle of a research project because I can't access the robots anymore. *makes angry noises* I already canceled a human study because of covid, so this feels super unfair.
but you know what pisses me off even more? the govt complaining about numbers being high but not doing jackshit about active disinfection of air and public spaces (China did that, btw) or providing cheap disposable masks for people.
Also, I'm not as much afraid of getting covid as I am afraid of giving it to the head of the department who is a 70+ yrs old genius in his own right.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
... This is shit.39 -
Apple macbook engineering department hard at work:
1) Some app freezes
2) Then the Touch-bar freezes
3) I hit cmd+alt+esc to force close it
4) Touch bar is frozen so esc won’t work
5) *confused noises*8 -
*Me studying at the library*
*dead silence*
*A guy sits across the table with his laptop*
*starts typing*
KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK
Inner Me: :-| *wth*
You couldn't type any more louder tha..
KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK KLACK KLACK...
Maybe the big "Silence Please" sign doesn't count keyboard noises
His laptop had one of those soft touch keyboards, that no one would hear anything if you type on them.
I guess he was trying to be a pretentious hax0r or something lol
He left soon enough, so, that was fortunate.. 😅3 -
Company calling for support. Printer in machine room makes unusual noises. There are 5 loud 90 dB machine roads forming metal. And the first thing they hear through the hearing protection is....... a printer making silent squeaky noises...
-
I barely ever drink, so.. Almost every holiday party I've been in was awkward :)
there was this Christmas once where one of my family members got unexpectedly wasted and embarased me and himself in front of my newly wedded wife. A few next christmas in the fam were awkward.
There was this christmas party in my student days with othet students. Like they say, medics study hard and party hard. Everyone got wasted and fel asleep a few hours past midnight. We had lectures next morning so I didn't sleep [as I was the only one sober and had] to wake everyone up for 9am lectures. Never ever had I attended such parties since.
At even younger age [high school] I was in a new year party. Incidentaly only couples were there. Soo.. After the fireworks went off - the lights were turned off and all I could hear were kissing and other noises of this kind. Everyone's wasted ofc, but me
needless to say now I'm very picky who to celebrate with. A closest family, a glass of bubbly or some hot wine is enough and I'm comfortable with everyone.1 -
Renting a flat above a kindergarten.
I hate Christmas songs and I am very sensitive to high pitched noises.
It's a bad time in the year to be working from home...3 -
The bartender stole one euro from me. (Just didn't give me the rest of my money)
So like the awkward nerd that I am, I left and will just sulk and never go back there. I thought this was my new nook. Turns out, no more.
Sad Friday evening noises in distance.9 -
So I tell my coworker how ticking noises of clocks can annoy me really bad. It is an OCD thing where I will not notice a clock, then I notice the ticking and it annoys the hell out of me.
He leaves the room after a while after turning on a fucking youtube video with 11 hours of ticking clock.
I am like, "You fucker..."
Then another guy we work with comes into the office and pretends like he is wondering what the ticking noise is.
I said, "Yeah right, he sent you in here to ask about didn't he?!" He was like "maybe..."
Anyway, that must mean I am part of the team now. They are screwing with me. All in good fun.2 -
Fuck WFH. I'm so tired of kids yelling. people eating, fucking noises and people leaving their desks for hour, and sayigg I'm sorry I was speaking on mute. Fuck WFH. Everybody needs to get their asses back to the office, and actually do the damn work.
WFH only works if you have kickass passionate people who love their job with an ounce of responsibility.10 -
I'm definitely not a person who says or thinks of those things liberally, but.. I think I might have a ghost in my apartment :)
I have no other sane/rational way to explain all those noises...7 -
Today tragedy has struck, I forgot my ear phones
I couldn't get into the zone, had issues with bugs and had to listen to people breathe and make mouth noises in the train.
I had to resort to playing songs in my head which didn't draw out any distracting noises3 -
Coding at night with noises that bring about focus is the best. I use noisli.com
Fellow devs, check it out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
Dude on reddit was hearing weird faint noises from his phone.
You'll never guess what he found out!
(Cant find source tho 😭)
2 -
Playing horror games
| Lights on -> cant see shit on the screen and more vulnerable to jumpscares
| Lights off -> the atmosphere of the room is generally spookier and i get scared of misc. noises
Oh well13 -
endor's first magical adventures with PostgreSQL
"Alright, got the docker image up and running, and I'm connected to the db, both from console and from Datagrip! Cool, let's get started with the tutorial!"
*cue montage of me using Datagrip to create my first schema, then the first table, then insert a bunch of data to try things out*
"Cool, now let's see if I can view my data from the console"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
"*Ahem*, I said:"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [cricket noises]
"Wut, why can't I see the data that I inserted? Wtf is going on?"
*30 minutes later*
"Alright, I have no idea what's going on, so let's try inserting the data from console and see if Datagrip can see it"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
ERROR: syntax error at or near "SELECT"
LINE 2: SELECT
^
"Wait, what?"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
INSERT 0 2
"Wtf? Haaang on... "
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1;
id | name | field2 | field3
----+------+--------+--------
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
(4 rows)
*eye twitches*4 -
Covid-19 quarantine checklist:
> isolate yourself ✓
> wash hands ✓ // duuuuh
> work from home ✓
> buy normal quantities of TP ✓
> get attacked by a bat (from Wuhan?! O.o) ✓
> buy some favourite bar soap
> ...
W8 wut?!
Yeah...I saw a bat fly by the balcony.. I thought: oh, how nice, they never fly so close.. Wait...a bat?! Aren't bats supposed to start all this shiiii...O.O
Thoughts interrupted by a bat flap tap (sound it makes when it hits something) behind my back..
Quickly pull hoodie over the hair..and jacket hood to, just in case.. friend once got a bat tangled in her curly hair.. I didn't wanna test if straight but longer hair also make problems for them.. Some more flapping & scratchy noises (I think it fell on the umbrella) then nothing.. OMG did it die on my balcony?! How the fuck am I gonna explain a dead bat to the authorities who remove dead wildlife?! >Yeah, a funny thing happened the other day, I got a message from Wuhan and the messenger dropped dead on my balcony..< Yeah, this would totally work.. o.0 Anyhow, once the noises stopped, I turned around to check on it..but couldn't find it.. so I just hope it managed to fly away and I won't find it after 3 days in the middle of my apartment... o.011 -
Do you think you can start all your weekdays' 730am to 9am with continuous honk noises every 5 to 10 minutes interval?
If you think you can, please teach me how to survive that shit. This much craps on daily (and especially as the start of the day) is definitely killing my mind and productivity for the rest of the day.2 -
Headphones on, but no music playing on the headphones, because it'd give other people the illusion that I'm listening to music and leave me alone (Also, I wouldn't be humming along, so more productivity). Plus wearing headphones muffles all the ambient noises and I can really talk to my inner rubber duck.
-
I'm very short tempered at the moment.
A lot like Dr Cox in Scrubs.
And really ... You mother fucking stupid idiotic developers with your tendency to discuss absolutely everything just to not have to work for a dozen more minutes...
But ok. Let's discuss.
But even that seems to be absolutely impossible for you little shitheads.
Instead of discussing solutions, nooooooooo....
We're grown up developers so we discuss how the baddy manager hurt our lil feelings by saying that we're morons for wasting all the fucking time without coming up with a solution.
Now my lil cry babies, once the baddy manager got your pacifiers so at least once in an hour my migraine finally calms down for not hearing your bitching pathetic lil whiny noises...
Face it. Over the years you collected a huge ton of mother fucking tech debt because no one of you actually took a bit of time to use that empty space in your head to think at least a mu further than the dumb jira task you were given.
And yes. That ends badly.
And yes. As it is now in a state of cluster fuck, guess what. You have to work. You get money for it, remember?
And yes. if you would stop moping and bitching and crying and being a pathetic lil piece of shit, you'd realize we could come up with solutions very fast.
But nooo... Let's talk about our feelings.
And how we are over worked.
And how nothing works.
Cause yes. That will be the hail mary that saves us all.
Let me give u a hint: it's a mother fucking waste of time bitches.
I think it's time I put a pacifier not only in your mouth, but arse too. Maybe it helps overcoming the anal and oral phase of childhood so we can at least have something close to adult talk.
*breathes in*
Gooozfraba.3 -
A recent post by someone else regarding dial-up made me wonder: Why did it have that specific, trademark noise when connecting?? What was the purpose of that? It's not like it was useful or anything, right?6
-
What you're about to read is an horror story based on real facts.
Our story begins one week ago, when a dev who calls himself "Arfmann" (what a loser, the f* means arfmann?) decided to take his dev skills to another level.
He always has been scared of databases. He made really bad dream about them. Like, they were screaming at him "SELECT useUs FROM database" while he was crying in some shared preferences noises.
A week ago, he decided to overcome his fear. He learned the basics of SQL. Everything was going well. Until, he decided to implement it on Flutter. A Google's technology.
At first, he decided to appeal to documentation. Went on Flutter web site. Flutter documentation. Sqflite documentation. Started reading. Started doing tests with the code written by Google's engineer.
Everything was fucked up. Dozens of errors, the documentation started to blow up and his PC went on fire, due to Android Studio.
He used a sample project made by Google's engineer. "Maybe if use directly their code it will work. Maybe I was the problem". He wasn't.
The whole documentation was wrong, every single line of code was a spaghetti code (yes, every single line was an entire spaghetti code). Everything was put in the main. If you wanted to try to keep things organized, you would end up punched and beaten up from the code itself. It would become a sentient entity that will beat you the fuck up.
Really scary. -
*revving chainsaw noises*
Today I started nuking leftover project code.
At the end, some projects shrunk by roughly up to 40 % .
Can anyone explain to me why programmers have such an awful hoarding syndrome?
Why do you keep shit that might unleash complete havoc cause it hasn't been touched since years and noone knows id it still works?
It's like having a leg with gangrene and keeping it cause "it doesn't look that bad".
For fucks sake. Clean up and remove shit when it's not necessary anymore.
Reason why I did a bloody gore massacre in nearly a dozen projects... After all the rework of networking, it's finally evident which projects have a bad / nasty behaviour of "fucked up" connection handling (HTTP 1.1).
And when my gory massacre removal goes life, I think 25-35 % of persistent connections on the loadbalancers will vanish. Maybe even more, since some very nasty stuff was in some projects.
Like "let's implement monitoring without having any clue about how monitoring works and even less clues about how TCP/ HTTP works."
*Bangs devs heads on table*
Stop. Doing. Stupid. Things.
For fucks sake.
:@ :@12 -
That feeling when you walk in a room, make a few steps on the floor and hear how all the walls are making cracking noises...
And some people choose to live in apartments/houses like that one.. Where walls can be punctured with a finger
what happened to firm, sturdy constructions...? What happened to strong walls and steady floors?
No way.. My house is gonna be built with rocks. Or at least a better part of it -
So I had to give my old laptop to my cousin who is in 9th standard for his online exams and classes .
(Just for context : I had installed manjaro on that old machine)
When I heard from my mother that his parents are coming to my house to borrow it from me I had to install windows because my cousin is not into tech that much and he barely could use windows 7 . ( The old laptop was shut down for a month or so) When I tried to install windows 10 . Machine started making beep beep noises . And I couldn't Install the windows because I had 30minitues to install a good os that my cousin could use . But guess what the Bastard windows , didn't get installed . I then installed manjaro and guided him the basics of how to navigate .
I hope he'll like it.
Again proved : Windows Sucks like hell.2 -
Back in the old days, ie. before facebook, I used to save all my funny email attachments to a folder. I got talking to one of the support guys. Seemed a nice fella. So, I network shared my folder and told him to how to connect. I did suggest that he probably shouldn't share it with everyone else in support as some of the material was a tad risqué.
I realised he hadn't taken notice of this advice when I walked in the office and all the support PC CD drives were randomly opening and closing and the PCs playing farting noises. (Anyone remember that?)
I had to go round all the PCs and kill the process.
I then returned to my own machine and disconnected the shared drive. -
!dev
I just had one guy coming back to the house at 4am, again, and he made his usual grand entrance, slamming the doors, stomping on the wooden floor making all the creaking sound as he walk all the way to his room, which is right beside mine. And when he went into the bathroom, which is on the other side of my room, he slammed he motherfucking lid on the toilet bowl which was so fucking loud I literally jumped out of bed. I ended up not being able to sleep (I have a lot of trouble falling asleep), and when I tried to sleep in the afternoon to catch up on the missed winks, another motherfucking bastard started blasting fucking hardcore electronics in the living room which is right below my room. The same bastard also plays loud movies or music at 2-3am. I’ve told that bastard that comes home late to watch his noise but man he only minds the noises I told him and nothing else. As for the other fucker, he’ll say he’d keep it down but continues doing what he’s doing anyway.
I moved here cause I know that it’s usually a quiet place and away from the party kids, but I somehow ended up with a party kid and an insensitive fucker (This motherfucker had the loudest sigh of frustration when I knocked politely on his door last night. Yes I calmed down before I talked to him, but ended up deciding to not utter a word at all when I hear that sigh).
I should move out, but I can’t find a place before next term cause it’s way too late at this point. I am on a lease, but my landlord understands my situation, and he seems okay with breaking the contract.
Having been here as an international student for almost 2 years now, and having moved 5 times, this has been the worst nightmare of a bunch of people to stay with.
For those that has read of me ranting about this elsewhere, yes it’s that same fucking bunch that doesn’t clean the house.9 -
bae: hey,do you know where did the word 'oops' came from?
me: object oriented programming? 😋
bae: no, its from the noises that we naturally make when we slice our palm with the Night Cheese knife 😝
me:(quick search on the stack exchange app meanwhile) 😑 it's an alteration of upsy-daisy blah blah
and then she's like GOOD NIGHT!
😂😂 -
"Most electronics work better while turned *on*. The rest are made by HP"
Fucking printer will not only *not* print my stuff but will also make hellish noises, print the same "hello world!" page six times in a row, jam paper in the seventh and spit expensive ink on its own mechanism while there is not even paper in it.
Fucking outdated cellulose-based bureaucracy. Govt' websites are far from perfect but yet are closer to it than presenting fucking tree-meat slabs unecessary covered in colourful liquid gold.2 -
I cant keep this inside anymore I have to rant!
I have a colleague that is an horrendous loose bug-cannon. Every peer-review is like a fight for the products life.
Now I understand - everyone makes bugs me included and it is a huge relief when someone finds them during peer-review. But these aren't the simple kind of bugs. The ones easily made when writing large pieces of code quickly. Typing = instead of == or a misshandling of a terminating character causing weird behaviour. These kinds of bugs rarely pass by a peer-review or are quickly found when a bug report is recieved from testers.
No the bugs my colleague makes are the bugs that completly destroy the logic flow of a whole module. The things that worst case cause crashes. Or are complete disasters trying to figure out what causes them if they are discovered first when the product reaches production!
Ironically he is amazing a peer reviewing other peoples code.
But do you know what the worst thing of all is! Most of the bugs he causes are because he has to "tidy up" and "refactor" every piece of code he touches. The actual bugfix might be a one liner but in the same commit he can still manage to conjure up 3 new bugs. He's like a bug wizard!
*frustrated Aruughhhh noises*9 -
When entering a one-holer restroom, someone didn't lock the door, and you have already seen more than you wanted to see. What are your options to react?
1. Say "excuse me" and quickly leave.
2. Chew them out loudly as you walk out.
3. Make really loud horse noises and leave.
4. Use the sink.
I have had this happen to me twice at my current work place. Now, when opening the door I have this procedure:
1. Open door a crack to see if the room light is on.
2. If light is on wait a few seconds for audible notification of occupation.
3. If unoccupied continue to enter.
If you are in the one-holer using the restroom and someone tries the door you also have options:
1. Stay silent Dark Brotherhood style.
2. Laugh maniacally really loudly.
3. If door opens scream like a girl.3 -
The printer in the open space makes some beep noises when used.
All I hear now is "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP." because someone made lots of copies.2 -
Log 1:
Day 10 of crunch time. I have entered a sleepless zen state. Lord willing, I will be able to get 7 hours of sleep Saturday night. The building is terrifying at night, as there are a lot of noises. Security guards are nice, but curious to see me all alone. Must not show weakness in case they think numbers will give them an advantage over me.
Supplies are low. Only one type of energy drink left in the machine, and coffee gone for the night. My phone is out of fast data so Pandora is spotty at best. I have battery to get me through the night at least.
Tomorrow and Saturday decide the fate of the project. My team lead has not slept in at least 2 days. I feel guilty napping when I do, but she is driven like Ahab so I will let her obsession carry her.
If I am alive tomorrow I will report in.1 -
You know it's time to get some sleep when your coffee starts making weird unexplainable hissing noises.
Everyone in the offices ended up looking at me why I was holding a cup next to my ear...1 -
My laptop just went through a BSOD and I've been noticing a noise from the hard disk even before the BSOD. Dump says the process that failed is ntoskernel. That's no help.
SMART test said hard disk state as OK but crystaldiskinfo says the following which confused me even more. Is it supposed to be this way?
7 -
hdparm -y /dev/sdb # to the rescue for the silence
turns out I could simply reorganize my mounts and spin down my hdd. Now at last can I enjoy the silence...
If I try to listen carefully I can only hear street noises from across the river and a few 9-stores buildings [something ~600 meters] through a closed plastic window and absolutely nothing from my PC.
Now.. Next mission: how to silence those street noises...5 -
As I've mentioned in a company-held course about this topic: Construction work noises.
I quote:
"Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."
At least there's earphones that help prevent this from ever reaching my ears. -
>be me a tech nerd
>see sexy women
>try to engage in conversation but only make werid gurgling noises
>never live it down3 -
More network/hardware than dev but anyway: I use OPNsense as a firewall at home on an embedded system. Had everything set up nicely and appearing to be working fine, quite a lot of things set up (static leases, VLANs with various firewall rules etc. - a fair bit of stuff involved). I noticed my remote system was failing to back up to my local one. Turned out port forwarding wasn't fully working (initial packet got through but nothing else). I noticed this at midnight.
Ran an update to see if that helped - nope. Reboot time then! It made its shutdown noises and I waited 15 minutes before giving up (no noises, no ping response). Took SD card out. Copied a fresh install onto it, thus wiping all settings. Booted up fine, set up my internet connection, all good. Proceeded to configure it. Noticed I couldn't access the internet from my PC, but could from the firewall itself. Rebooted the firewall. It didn't come back up. Argh!
Reinstalled AGAIN. Attached a serial cable and it was complaining about something which sounded like it couldn't read the SD card. Tried another. Nope. Looked online (using phone): known issue to do with boot delays.
Gave up and went to bed at this point (4am).
Next day: Installed it in a VM instead. Still no internet from my PC! Another known issue to do with default gateway not being the PPPoE interface. Got into shell, manually changed the default route. Was then able to update to the latest version which fixes the gateway issue. Rebooted the VM. All good.
Put all my settings back in, this time taking a backup afterward.
Only to discover....
....port forwarding wasn't working properly. Back to square 1.
Poked around with some NAT settings (outbound ones), made no difference, undid those changes and suddenly it started working.
WTF? /waves arms in the air
OPNsense folk were very helpful, producing a new build for me to try within a couple of hours of me asking about the problem.
But days like that, I start to question whether I really enjoy technology as much as I thought I did... -
(a slide acoustic guitar plays on the background and the cowboy starts speaking)
It was a dry october day, back in good old 2017. I had this job from a client that I never met and was doing some coding for money.
After days of no sleep, no food and no rest, I finally decided to take a nap so I paused my music.
It was at this moment I found out my machine was making funny noises. Like a dingo makin' a run from it's enemies with a whelping noise.
Clicked on my computer and tried to find an ol' file from the archive drive but the machine won't let me, sayin' the disk ain't ready yet.
I tried disk manager, disk scanner, whatever the tools at my disposal all in vain. Then I said what the hell, I'll just restart my machine and it'll be alright.
The machine rebooted but the disk was gone. It was dead like a deer I ran over. I was upset, but not aware of the calamity headin' my way.
In just a few days my other 2 disks died suddenly. The loss of data, all the effort, none of them mattered. I felt numb and decided it was time for a fresh start.
Plugged in a Windows install disk, started the sequence, a screen came up askin' me which damned and alive disk I wanna install the fresh OS. I had two same make and model SSD disks, chose the one thinkin' it was the Windows drive, hell it wasnt... It was with all "my documents", "downloads", "pictures" folders and now I had two SSD drives with two Windows installations and nothing else.
The folks in town took a dab at me for months, even the bartender of the salloon refused to give me a drink. Sayin' it was a matter of reputation...
Turned out the bastard who fried my disks was the Madde Dog PSU Tannen who had a bad temper so here I am, tellin' my story to milk breathers and cherishing old days of data...3 -
okay, it has come to it.
Yes, I most likely have a faulty audio controller in my laptop.
Yes, I understand that that's probably why my speakers are making unusual background noises.
And yes, I realize that this might be the reason why I can't hear anything in my 3.5mm earphones.
But, why, dear Cinnamon, WHY do you have to keep me from any kind of system settings GUI? I can no longer launch the System Settings, Network settings, sound settings, etc -- no Settings at all.
And why did you have to freeze the whole Cinnamon the first time the problem appeared? The X didn't mind it, ffs! I could move the mouse around... but that's pretty much it. Apart from switching to TTYs and moving the mouse I couldn't do anything else in the UI.
That's pretty annoying. It's not like I can remove my audio controller... (I don't think breaking off the corner of my MB where the audio region is counts as 'remove the audio controller').
This first happened when I fried my wifi µPCIe card. That's alright - I could replace it and use system settings again. But now...? How the fuck do I go around that NOW???1 -
Colleague trying to create a Visual Studio project and getting the error message that the file path name is too long. (Raging noises of agony)
Me laughing inside because I was facing the same issue a few days ago.
Now I am using VS on mac. Still a pile of crap but at least no issues with file paths anymore 😔5 -
I don't know if someone has noticed but I haven't been on DevRant lately. It's not that the community is awesome. In the last month or two, I've had a blast of an experience here. I've just been avoiding screens, specifically texts in screens. I think something snapped on my head last week. Here's why:
As I've said in other rants/comments, I study history, and at the moment, I haven't found any career that has to read more than this one. Sometimes I've had to read about 1200 pages in less than three days. Last week I had to read 6 books which accounted for about 3500 pages. I was actively reading more than 600 pages a day. Now, this was for an investigation, and each of these reads had to be properly summarised with their respective arguments, thesis, etc. So I intensely read everything before Thursday, the day in which I had to present my work, in which I referenced about 10 books.
Apart from that, daily, I spent 4 hours coding. That's been the minimum I've done daily since I started learning.
I wasn't too tired. I'm used to read a lot, and coding is always fun. But the problem came in Friday when I woke up with a strange headache that spanned from my eyes to the back of my ears. Hurting especially on the sides of my forehead.
It eventually dissipated, but whenever I read something, the ache slowly came back. Loud noises and bright lights also brought it back. So you could imagine, everytime I tried to read a Rant, comment, etc, the headache came back. The same for coding and reading. For fucks sake I feel like I'm fucking crippled.
And no, the pain isn't the worst. Pain is pain and you can't do anything about it. The worst is that I'm developing some anxiety here. In all this time I have been learning daily nonstop. Coding was something I craved for everyday. Now I'm fucking wasting entire days in non-productive activities. I'm losing my fucking time here guys!
I'm afraid I have some anxiety problem with time. I've already fucking wasted entire years, now I don't want to continue wasting them and push my goals further away, I want to get to my goals as soon as I can because time and life can't be stopped and once time is lost, you can't fucking get it back. And, considering I'm still 21, I do notice this feeling is somehow irrational, but for fucks sake, I'm wasting fucking LIFE :( -
When I work entire night I use my short profile keyboard not to make any noise, but in holidays my mom wakes up and tries her best to makes all kind of noises, after I give up and wake up, she goes to her room to read her book!
Dear God! Please eat me!1 -
Anytime my fucking noisy neighbors stop making shit ass crazy noises like it's a FX set for a sci-fi movie.
-
I think I just woke up from a nightmare and inception.
I was dreaming about not being able to sleep because I was hearing loud noises all night.
Anyone else every had that?2 -
TODAY! Today in a fit of rage over my neighbor's construction I've super glued their door. I mean, they're basically making me wake up at 1am to work cuz I've a dislocated nerve on my ear and the noises literally turn to pain. So yeah, by 3am I thought, wtv, right? An eye for an eye and shit, so I glued that door shut.
Eagerly awaiting to hear that motherfucker's doorframe cracking. 8am can't come soon enough2 -
I hate relatable/anxiety/cringe posts, but I need to talk about this.
Sometimes when I try to sign and focus on hitting notes and making it sound good, I get a sudden flashback to something weird I did in the past.
It's either something extremely cringey/embarassing or just plain out asshole'y, mostly from when i was a teen.
It's weird how sudden and vivid the memory of these actions get. One second I'm singing, the other I'm clenching my stomach thinking "oh god why did I do that?"
I also make the signing turn into making weird fucking noises and going very off pitch.
Some people find it easy to let go of the past. Not this guy. -
*Sister comes into room*
"My TV makes strange noises"
Me: "Controlled all cables?"
Sister: "No."
Just why?4 -
Soooo many vendor-sponsored frontend frameworks.
Soon text-to-logic tools will be useful enough so that you only need a client, someone who is both rational *and* can speaks clientese, and a dog.
The client barks some nonsense, the rational person translates it into business logic, some LLM makes it into some nice UI and the dog makes random noises so that the client will feel smart, valued and appreciated.
That nullifies the reasons for so many frontend frameworks because either the LLMs all converge into a single way of doing things or they do not care for which one they choose.1 -
*Frustrated user noises* Whyyyy, Grafana, why don't you implement any actual query forgery checks?!
So long as a user has access to the Grafana frontend, they can happily forge the requests going off to the backend, and modify them to return *whatever* data they want from the datasource.
No matter that they're a read-only user. That only stops them from modifying the dashboard definitions on the frontend, but doesn't enforce any sort of immutability on the BE...
If anyone had any tips on how to further secure it, I'm curious...5 -
The *project* build succeeded so you decided to check in your code changes. OK? WRONG! Always build *the whole solution* before checking in code! Never check in something doesn't build unless you want to make me groan *making groaning noises*
-
Me: Why do we do this this time consuming, low value thing?
My tech lead: Because if we don't, a box becomes red on some executive report.
Me: Why is this deadline so important? It's not customer facing or any kind of critical bug/vulnerability?
My tech lead: Because it was a company wide mandate, and we'll show up on some executive report if we're late.
Me: *angry dev noises*
They must dole out lashings to the tech leads and the directors any time we fail to meet some completely arbitrary demand. The act like the world is going to end any time we get too close to a deadline 🤦♂️
Makes no sense that they then turn around and worship the ground senior leadership walks on. I wonder if it's some weird form of stockholm syndrome.5 -
If workspace has Macs connected in local network.
Use ssh to your colleague's mac and make Mac "say weird embarrassing noises" ( if you know what i mean ) -
the last several times i reached out to support there were at least 5 days of tumbleweed and cricket noises. fine with that while not accessing personal mails during the week. last time i got a response the next day with request for more information and case closed the other day due to lack of response. well played...
-
I know liquid-nitrogen-powered air cans heat up after getting cold during use, and boil in the process, extending use time, but do they really need to make disturbing noises that sound like a clicking creature in a horror movie???
-
Construction work at the office today.
Drill and hammer noises extremely loud.
I put my music volume up, but every time the drill stops I think I'm going to go deaf.2 -
So obviously, these days we rely a lot on video calls. But that has pretty much spurred my hatred for it, because basically everything is shitty about it and it annoys the hell out of me.
The voice quality is horrendous for the most part, it jerks around, and you have echoes and microphones picking up background noises. The video quality is the same basically.
It just drives me fucking nuts, you know.3 -
In my latest interview. It's the first in a overly morose process that includes many.
Me: So, about the scope of responsibilities...
Interviewer: <translated from fart noises> "we're a dynamic company"
<translated again> do any shit some big headed brass asks of you
Me: it involves many meetings?
Interviewer: <dismissive fart noises>
Me: Is it for an open field project or an ongoing structure?
Interviewer: We have many ongoing projects, and you allocation may be changed dynamically <so, fart noises>
Me: about the salary...
Interviewer: <Extra-stinky-fart noises>
...
It went on for an hour, never an straight answer. Not even for the name of the company.
...
Me: Have you noticed that, even that you are interviewing me, I'm the one asking all the questions?
Interviewer: <actual fart> yes, you really seem to have the knack for it!
Me: ...
Interviewer: so, any more questions?
Me: Yes. Are you flammable? <actual quote> -
Project Manager: Our employees are not receptive to the new internal app we built
Dev: Have you tried making airplane noises when you show it to them?1
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