She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Credits:Unknown

There are no bugs, only happy little accidents

Someone replied to the Christmas party invitation using REPLY ALL... his family personal details sent to hundreds of people. Wait, it gets even worse: he works in the SECURITY DEPARTMENT.

Since every piece of software is developed by us, I sincerely request everyone to keep dark themes as the default theme.
Thanks.

The art of happy programming

Sex talk between programmers.

She: I'm a virgin.
He: Don't worry. They call me the virginslayer007.
She: Oh! So how many virgins have you slayed till now?
He: That would be ONE in a few minutes.
She: So u r also a virgin then..
He: Don't worry. I watched so many video tutorials. We just have to do exactly as they did. Best thing is that it can be done both for testing and production purposes.
She: Let's stick to testing purposes for now.

I hate YouTube recommendations. They just show you the same videos again and again after some time.

Why the fuck does a game need access to my contacts?

Does anyone know if there's a Bob Ross of development?

I feel like I just need to hear someone coding or talking best practices in a chilled out relaxing way to help me through the day.

I am fed up working with unskilled software developers. Or to be more specific, working with people who have no idea of sofware architecture.

Most people I've worked with have simply no idea what they are doing in the broad picture, they can only follow patterns they see and implement their feature in the same way. They can't think about the abstract concepts which should be the foundation of the project.

They fail to write unit tests which are maintainable. They write one fucking test per method which is testing 50 things at the same time, making it often impossible to understand what is being tested.

They think putting stuff in private methods makes their class better and is some kind of separation of concerns.

They write classes and afterwards create interfaces for these classes named {Class}Interface, shoving all the methods into that interface. They think it's good design to do so.

They are unable to think about the reasons why things are done the way they are done and that you don't do stuff for the sake of doing stuff, but to achieve certain goals like interchangeability.

They don't undestand how to separate business logic from the application code.

They have no sense for naming things beautifully. They don't see how naming things is a major part of good software architecture.

They get layer concepts wrong and then create godlike {EntityName}Service classes, which do everything related to a particular entity.

They fail to shape the boundaries within a software project, entangling stuff which should live in individual modules.

All I want is to work in a team with professionals.

Once I watched a 30min YouTube video on functional programming just because the presenter was cute. 😘
Anyone ever did this ???

And btw the video is Functional programming by Anjana vakil.

Keep a tab on people who use spaces for indentation.

?notFullScreen=false

Finally YouTube implemented something from the porn websites. I'm talking about quick video review on thumbnails.

Hi guys, this is my first rant so bear with me..

Stupid Indian fucking institutes doesn't give a shit about the things we learn in the institute. This curriculum is like from the 90's. I learnt NodeJS recently and I thought wow a new concept, not even my professor knows about it. I must be on top of the world or at least any way near it and then I see these video tutorials on the internet which are posted 2 years ago. OH MY GOD!! The thing is that my department's HOD doesn't know about that and the funny thing is that I'm doing a project under him "SECURITY OF WEB APPLICATIONS" and the only thing he knows is PHP. And FYI I'm not studying in an institute which is oblivious to the outside world. It's called an NIT, an institute of national fucking importance. At the end, I blame myself though. I should have been on myself not being completely dependent on the professors for knowledge.
I could fill the entire text area with the rant.
But then people will start ranting about the rant.
I will be posting more Indian-devRant soon so.. peace till then.

( I bet they don't know about Git/Github too)

So my HP laptop got a weird problem lately.

It doesn't charge when I plug in the charger(yes, i turned on the switch). So I began searching forums for a solution and then found out that there are so many people like me out there.
Then I was like ok, chill. There are many people like me, there must be a solution somewhere.

And after doing lots of research and trying all the solutions in the internet, the only thing that worked out is this ....

Step1 : turn on and the laptop and plug in the charger.
Step 2: Turn off the laptop.
Step 3: Now turn it back on and poof there you go, the laptop's charging.

And then I improvised the solution myself, which is u can replace the switch off part with Sleep which saved me some time.

And then whenever I try to show something my friends somethjng on my lap and the battery gets low, I do the ritual. For a brief moment their face becomes like dude I'm gonna kill you off, why the hell did u bring me here and now u r turning that off. And then I explain the history of my laptop.

Why HP whyyy ?

manager: we had great feedback last week, real users were testing our app! However, we have noticed a lot of issues regards database performance and data replication...

me: oh, that's great news!! How many users? Like hundreds?

manager: no, 6 users so far

I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.

Am I the only one who when they are super focused writing code and debugging starts acting like Bob Ross painting a picture?(without a filter... of course)

And here we’ll add another little god damn breakpoint so we can watch our fucked up variables report the wrong thing..

Oh and over here will just add another little happy simple if statement.

Oh look at the happy if statements in a row.. maybe we’ll add little switch statement here.

Depression and anxiety is a major challenge in my work life.
I could remember vividly when I was at my last job, any time I felt depressed I'll call for sick leave. It was hard for me to pinpoint the cause of my depression because even while on most sick leave I still felt depressed.
I blamed it on my job, blamed it on my family, on my social circle, on my friends, on my lifestyle, on almost everything. At some point it all felt like it was me versus the world, a fight I could never win.
Thoughts came in... Maybe it's because John is now married with two kids, or because Stella is now the new manager, or that David just bought a new Ross Royce and I'm still riding an ice-cream truck, or its because Steve is always on vacation and PM always complaining about uncompleted task with no acknowledgement for the 2 months task finished in a week, or because Boss is always calling for stupid meetings. Different thoughts in my head... Jealousy, Envy, Disappointment, Tiredness, Confusion, all combined at once.

But I did found a cure for my anxiety and depressed nature...
During lunch hours I visit a beach close to where I work, it's called "Tarkwa bay". I'll sit at the rock formations and glare at the shadows of the rising sun, listen to the sound of rumbling waters and passive the complete overview of nature. The feeling I get there is really calming, It occupies my head with neutral thoughts and a love for nature. 🤗
I truly experienced an improvement overall and it's been a while I felt depressed since I started such a routine.
Nature is really a gift.

Everyone's on my watch list.

Sincerely
Boss.

The only reason I'm still using WhatsApp or Facebook is because my classmates have a social group in which they share important information and tbh that's easy than dealing with emails.

Have to deal with bullshittery for one more year.

So recently I started to observe a little upgrade in the Google's searching algorithm. The next suggestion in Google's search box is depending more on my immediate preceding search. It's so good that its starting to creep the hell out of me.

Wow thanks play music for the handy navigation shortcut. Now I can hear the previous songs again and again! 😑

Fuck exposure!
May be you should get some exposure of how things work😒

this kind of pull request reviewers.. lol

Playing around with dall-e and was inspired by the game: "bob ross cyberpunk 2077"

Tupac - Lyric king
Eazy - Gangsta rap
Biggie - Flow king
Eminem - Rhyme king
Dr Dre - beat king
Rick Ross - burger king
Me - COPY/PASTE KING

So this came up when I was trying to search for length property in JS.

Sitting at work. Just had a convo about older versions of Visual Studio. I was like "you youngins with you intellisense and backwards compatibility. In VS2005 we had to climb 15 miles in the snow. Uphill. And when we only had 200 compatibility issues with VS2008 we thanked Microsoft for the privilege. What Linux? You think my school provided Linux? Linux is for earners. Top sellers. Leaders of men. Cross-platform compatibility meant that it worked on a Dell with Windows and a Gateway with Windows. I tell you those were dark times."

"I rarely agree with what clients ask me to do." - Ross Lovegrove

Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!

Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!

Also money later isn't a good thing.

- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??

Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.

"If you see a snake, just kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes." - H. Ross Perot

Epic comment:

1+2+3+4+....infinity = -1/12
SRC: Numberphile

Dear god, id like to file a bug report(see attached video)

Do you have any annoying you want to get rid off, but you can't because of reasons?
I do. They are 4, but for now I'll talk about the gold medal winner.

When we met about 8-9 ago, she had just come back to town due to some very bad personal experience (not her fault). Anyway, she is polite, but her major flaw is that she is pushy. REAL BAD! And she gets mad when other people (including me) try to do it on her. Another one is having calls during random inappropriate times, because she had fight #N with her boyfriend, and last but not least, she will call when needs something out of someone.

Lately, her project is finding us a job, since we're both unemployed. Any job. The sad part is when she sends me job ads for dev jobs I don't qualify, e.g. Company X is looking for a dev with Y year of experience, knowing A, B, C & D technologies. I've told her that I don't qualify for most of the dev jobs she sends me, but she insists I should send my CV anyway, cause of reasons. Also, for some reason, I should be accounted to her for all my current choices when what I would honestly say is "BUG OFF".

Her latest endeavour is getting me one of her friends (a psychologist) as a "client". Her friend wants to have a professional website with writing posts/articles as a side dish. I'm not registered as a freelancer, so everything will be done under the counter, and her friend is OK with that. I'm no web developer, but I didn't refuse because of her backlash and also that would be a positive experience for me. Now, the juicy part. She gave her my phone number without my permission and she told me straight away. Her plan was having the three of us meet, though I don't know why and I didn't want her being around. I asked her to call me immediately, which it didn't happen. After being pestered by my friend for a couple of weeks if her friend called me, she finally did it on Monday. She didn't say to me anything I didn't know, but at least I have her phone now.

What I can offer her is a website skeleton with the usabilities she's asking. What I can't offer her is graphics/banner and security. And now I have to come up with reasonable price. Teams here ask 400-600€ for a complete website the way she asks, including VAT. I'm thinking around 100€ and I don't know when I can deliver the project. I've had some experience with Ruby and Sinatra, so I'll go with that, and I'll learn CSS along the way.

Thanks for reading till the end! 😃

Postpone this one last time!???
The fuck you think you are Windows.

Joined the dark side.
Used to think (),{},[] meant the same. Just a type of brackets they said
Started counting at 0
Designer/Developer perspective to every website/app I visit
Rubber ducks were children bath toys
And for the love of LINUS! Stop asking me to hack your bf/gf 's social media accounts.

"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything you are willing to practice, you can do." - Bob Ross

When you know you should be writing your tests first, then your code. But you secretly do it the other way round anyway.

"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything you are willing to practice, you can do. " - Bob Ross

I is sad.

Legit comments on a Facebook Hacker cup solutions post. Like wtf ?

I am so much into technology and also play CSGO frequently, that sometimes I get a dual image when someone says CACHE.

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my mail address
So spam me maybe

meanwhile I have all the love in my python code:

total = len(sys.argv)
if total < 3:

That moment when you hire someone for a small part of the protect and they suggest you to re-write the entire project using a different language/framework.

I know this is supposed to be in bossRant. But hey not all bosses aren't developers.

Debugging a program is nothing but playing the game WHO'S YOUR DADDY ?

Whenever I hide warnings during compilation, I feel like SUPPRESSING FIRE!!!

Sometimes NVIDIA fucks up big time.
Last time I was a writing a UI application in Java. I took some break and updated the NVIDIA drivers so that you know it will 'increase' gaming performance. Next day I was trying to launch the app and the UI doesn't show up. It took me over half an hour to realise that there was no fault in my code and it was the fucking update.

Boss!!!
Boss isn't a person.
It's not a name.
It's a feeling.
It's an emotion.
It's something that you are afraid of even in ur dreams.
It's something that pushes you, shouts at you, criticises you, shouts at you again, but at the end he gives you appreciation, money and fame(sometimes).

No matter how shitty the pay is, it is something. Better than nothing.
If you don't like it, go to another boss.
or better
BE YOUR OWN BOSS.

So what is rubber duck debugging?

I'm still doing my bachelors.
Anyone with a 9-5 job with 10+ years in the field not bored of everything in the universe and spending valuable time with family ?

Dear ranters,
Keep in mind that while ranting on a topic the human mind's ability to write a long sentence with perfect wording will decrease slightly, so my sincere request to Grammar NaZi's is Fuck off bro..

Itd be great if there is a section where some posts can be pinned so that everyone would see them.

On a road side bench. I was testing a GPS application I did back in college. The application stopped working when I get to the destination. I figured the problem right away and couldn't resist fixing it immediately.

[ Few hours later...] (It was a small change but you know, Android studio on a low end laptop)

Tested and completed the app successfully. Oh and by the way, it was 11 in the night. I can just imagine what the people that saw me that night could have thought. 🤣

What are the best Udemy classes for JavaScript?

"Fuck with me and I'll fuck with you"
- A badass dev

Hi All, I need some advice.

I have been working my ass off for a foreign client for 2 years(2018 college passout). I'll be getting an onsite opportunity in some time for a few months. I'm planning to study masters in Germany after I come back. The main reason I want to go onsite is because the pay is good and it could cover a lot of my expenses.

Would it be unethical to go onsite, work, come back and resign immediately(with notice period)?

Any suggestions how to tackle the situation because I also need some recommendations from my work place to apply for Masters and I'm not sure if they'll give me in this situation?

Hello! Could anyone please explain how can I limit the number of entries to the website with one login? It will be Joomla-based. I want to get a unique device id apart from the platform. What should I choose - php, javascript or anything else? Can anyone tell?
Thank you.

Greetings, I have a site with two two versions - mobile and desktop. I’ve introduced Schema.org to the desktop version of the site. Should I add it on my mobile site? How do you think?

I hate it when devs use value attribute instead of place holder especially when you know that input text is definitely going to change.

Is Angular.js or Ember.js the better choice for JavaScript frameworks?