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Dev1 - hey we need to run some test to ensure delivery on our emails, how should we do it?
Dev2- I dunno, just put {RANDOMSTRING}@somedomain.com and send it. Dont bother to ask @Linux about it, it is a good idea
Dev1 - sounds like a great idea! I'll send a couple of thousands, ok?
--------- TODAY ---------
Me: Hey why are we on blacklist?14 -
"Got a cool idea! Need to check if it is possible. "
*Proceeds to do some research on the internet*
"Oh great! A thread about it from two years ago! It must have the solution there!"
...
*It was me creating the thread two years ago*
Mfw12 -
Best prank I did to a office must be that one I did when I was 7 years old:
> Sat at a schoolcomputer and explored stuff
> Found alot of network printers
> Found one called "city hall front desk"
> Created a word-document with the biggest font possible
> Wrote "Dick"
> 2000 pages of the word "dick"
> Print 2000 copies
> Did the same to a kindergarten and a "rival school"
> Never got caught because I used my teachers novell account ( the password was his name)
I miss novell15 -
My wife is getting better and better each day writing code. And she is starting to really love the terminal too!
With this rate, she is going to know more GNU+Linux than me.
😎7 -
Wikipedia says that a nerd/geek lacks social skills. They should see this amazing community, thanks DevRant :)10
-
My wife = Best wife
Her: Is that the motherboard and CPU you wanted?
Me: Yes, you get alot of power for the money (Ryzen 7 1800)
Her: Alright, you should order thoose things next week if they are not on sale this friday33 -
At work
Me: I need to check something or your pc, with you account
Girl with PC: I wont give you my password
Me: I already have your password
Girl with PC: .....37 -
Why is it called RAID0?
Because the number 0 is standing for the number of files you can recover when a drive fails2 -
Two weeks ago:
customer - we need a small website, nothing special. Give us your cheapest option
*proceeds and give them the cheapeast offer, the accept and deploy their site*
Today:
I "notice" a spike in trafic, 20k request / second, and many sessions had 60-70 MB (big videos on the site) in size which cause the gateway to die and almost killed the entire hosting platform.
"Nothing special" turns out to be a website for a big campaign that they are currently running on TV, Radio, Paper and AdWord.10 -
*Showerthoughts*
Steam downloads games over plaintext, so can I whireshark a game and get it for free then?
*Showerthoughts*24 -
Wife - my site is not working, everything in the code looks correct. But it is only throwing me 404 all over
Me - "blaming the teacher for giving bad shit"
Wife after googling - I fixed it, you have forgot to enable .htaccess in the virtualhost
FFS how long have I been this stupid?12 -
Me to wordpress "developer"
- No, you are not a developer, you just drag and drop shit in visual composer
That felt good3 -
People are complaining about how to exit vi/vim.
They have not FUCKING TRIED EXIT TELNET ON A SWEDISH KEYBOARD12 -
So I recently joined a facebook group about "hacking" knowing that I would gather alot of lulz.
Thanks someone here on devrant that showed me this
20 -
My parents my whole childhood:
What are you *** doing in front of that screen?!?!
Stop playing GAMES and go out and do something with your life!
You are WASTING your LIFE on ****!
You will NEVER get a job.
Today I am payed more than 20th times as my dad was payed in my age.
They finally stopped complaining.6 -
The time my sister dropped the external HDD with every single picture of our family between 2000-2009.
I was 16 at the time, and it made me paranoid like I am today.
Three offsites backups, and three local ones currently and always trying to do expand.9 -
Got invited to a "roundtable", where we will discuss email security and the future and direction of where it is going.
Only 10 people in Sweden got a chair
I feel exclusive but also scared that they will find out what a noob I am lol4 -
I had my first nightmare in years:
I was at work, and suddenly saw that my NS has changed for my personal domain. I also saw that the domain has transferred to another provider and a company had bought it and had it for sale for $7000.
I woke up, but it took 10 minutes before I realized it was just a dream.3 -
One of the biggest e-commerce site's here in Sweden like to generate hundreds of thousands of sessionfiles every day.
That slows down their website alot, and the poor server is struggling hard.
They asked me if I could do something about it. So I mounted the catalogue with sessionfiles on a tmpfs volume. And suddenly the site is much faster. I guess storing sessionfiles directly into RAM solved it :P
And yes, they are aware that a restart of the server removes the files.8 -
I accidently spammed my own server from my other server, which caused fail2ban to go bananas.
Fail2ban sent ALOT of emails to my hostingproviders abuse department and they due to the amount of emails they got suspended my server.
I can't blame them :)8 -
Poweroutage in the area, suddenly thousands upon thousands of mobile devices is connecting to 4g.
Result? The 4g antenna in the area dies too4 -
So a friend of mine ran a Tor Exit node at home for a few month.
He upgraded to gigabit so he was able to push 950Mbit/s quite nicely. He has the oldest Tor Relay (11 years) and was the 2nd fastest exit node.
But he was sadly forced to remove the exit policy, because the police and some other government agencies knocked on his door today.30 -
To all the people that dont have the time, knowledge or anything but still want to self host stuff:
http://yunohost.org/
Check it out, install, contribute :)9 -
My Boss: When are you going to finish?
Me: There is a bug, I'm solving it, I need more time.
My Boss: Why have you introduced a bug in your code and now solving it? It were more simple if you didn't created any bug!
Me: WTF!!!8 -
Did you know, that adding the flag
"--libcurl" to you curl command, does actually create a .c file that you can compile and that tiny program will execute that exact command that you just performed in the terminal??
Example:
"curl http://linu.xxx/I_love_GOOGLE/4ever -# -k --libcurl"
It creates a .c file that perform that action when used.15 -
My mirror is now an Official Ubuntu, Alpine, Debian, qubes-os, linux-libre and linux mint mirror! :D21
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Last year, a customer bought a very expensive Symantec certificate for their website (that is not hosted by us).
They got the certificate and everything seemed nice. We got paid and all everything.
And yesterday, the customer called and said that their certificate has stopped working. I thought "that is strange" so I visited their site and what I saw was horrible.
The site has used and still used a Let's Encrypt certificate. The webdevs they have had not bothered to install the very expensive Symantec certificate for $1500...13 -
No, my family did not support me.
They complained about everything.
From how "Python was demonic" to how "Working with computer wont save you from the coming tribulation"
Growing up in a religious cult sucks.10 -
After almost two years working as a Linux Sysadmin, I have found out that every developer needs a Sysadmin.17
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My first AI program in the 1985 on Apple IIe (64kb ram computer) was answering simple questions with yes and no. Everyone were shocked with precision of about 100% when I was typing and 70-80% when others were typing. My parents were scared and skeptical. How it works? Store the time between the first key pressure and the following, when it is larger than 1 second the answer is yes, otherwise no. They say the question, you know the answer and type accordingly. When they want to write the question themselves, you try to force their typing speed if possible. I was 12 years old and it was very funny.3
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This day is the worst ever, I can't do anything. I feel useless and Im much less productive than I use to be.
I hate it when I forget me headphones at home6 -
> me on call
> had to much wine
> suddenly, phone starts making sound
> holy shit, I am on call and I am not supposed to drink
> Calls taxi because shit is looking bad at work. Everything look down according to the sms I get, I had to pay the taxi from my own pocket.
> 40 min later, arrive at work. Walk into the serverroom.
> Go to the the server that is monitoring everything.
> Check networkcable, it is loose. Push it a little.
> Goddamnit, that was it.
> Realize I never doublechecked if stuff really was down from home....5 -
Worst advice?
That must have been that time my boss asked me how to restart rsyslog (Windowsguy and I was on vacation)
- "just do rm -r /var/log haha"
And ONE SECOND LATER I SENT THIS
- "haha jk dont"
Waiting a minute and I get this:
- "well that did not work"
Damnit8 -
So many developer that does not know how to generate a simple .csr file. Here you go:
$DOMAIN=www.yourdomain.com
$STATE=State
$CITY=The city
$COMPANY=Company Name Gmbh
openssl req -utf8 -nameopt multiline,utf8 -new -newkey rsa:2048 -nodes -sha256 -out $DOMAIN.csr -keyout $DOMAIN.key -subj "/C=Your CountryCode/ST=$STATE/L=$CITY/O=${ORG:-$COMPANY}/OU=${ORG:-IT}/CN=$DOMAIN"11 -
Well, it is my turn to rant about the retards on Stack Overflow who are voting down questions only because they are not capable of understanding it.13
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Apache no doubt.
Reason? It is good, and it does not want to shove a commercial license into my throat like Nginx wants.14 -
Friday - yeaj its friday!
Saturday - *does whatever I want*
Sunday - *mentally prepare for monday*4 -
Being a sysadmin, I never write any code.
But I do want to learn that.
What is the easiest language to learn?
(I am lazy)54 -
Me: "What a stupid piece of shit documentation and software, it does not work!!!!!!!"
Also me: "Oh, this typo made everything _not-work_"4 -
Just got my data from Spotify that I requested.
1.1MB of data that should contain 10 years of usage does not seem right at all.
I have seen other that have gotten their information, and it container every from the brands of their headphones to what voicecommand was used to play a song.
My report did not contain any of that.10 -
colleague: My laptop wont start, I don't know what happend. It worked this morning.
me: alright, Ill take a look at it.
I walk down to another room and proceed to open it up. Some kind of smell is rising from the poor laptop. I know that scent.
The motherboard is completely soaked into coffe, with milk.
I walk up the colleague:
me: do you prefer coffe with milk och without?
colleague: haha, it depends on what mood I am in. ( she is obviously stressed about it )
me: that poor laptop of yours, is dead. You soaked it in your coffe
colleague: haha what? No I have not. It worked last night when I used it ( notice how she changed "this morning" to "last night".
I just walk away, and I hope that the insurance does not cover this shit.4 -
Me to customer, several years ago:
Your server is over 10 years old, and the support for it will soon be gone together with the possibility to take backups. You should upgrade your website ASAP.
Customer said:
ok, we will look into it.
This day:
Customer:
Hi, our site is down and we need backups from yesterday. Can you please fix?
Me:
Sorry, no. *send copy of the email several years ago*2 -
In Sweden, we say "someone has walked into the wall" when they have gone sick because of stress.
Damnit I hope I am not on my way9 -
I am running a small - but growing - ceph-cluster at work. Since it is fun and our storage demand is growing each day.
Today, it was time to bring another node online and add another 12TB to the cluster.
Installation of the OS went fine, network settings fine, drives looks fine.
Now, time to add it into the cluster.... BAM
Every Dell machine in the Cluster - Dead.
The two HP-machines is online and running. But the Dell-machines just died.
WAT!?19 -
Everytime I encounter cpanel or plesk
fuck that shit, I dont need that aids-software on any machine12 -
Where is the angry shit throwing rant against apple today? I expect the same treatment as Microsoft7
-
Im having vacation in a remote village in Austria, where internet is almost not accessible. Im glad that DevRant works with a shitty GPRS connection atleast :)2
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I wrote some simple rules so everyone with an iPhone, iPad or OSX device that is visiting my site is redirected to https://stallman.org/apple.html28
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I have joined a pretty exiting project that I think many of you here would like.
I'll probably announce something in the coming month when the product is starting to get ready13 -
Couple of years back:
"Hey, lets put all of our custom binaries in /bin"
Today:
"Hey @Linux, I updated my system and now some binaries is gone"9 -
With the growth of cloud services like AWS and Google Cloud, I feel like the quality of products is going downhill very fast.
Big providers dont care if the customer do stupid things, sends malware, ddos as long as they pay....2 -
Sad to abort a nice Minecraft session with fellow devranters in order to drive to work... Hopefully I am back before 4AM.19
-
Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.
Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are. -
I have really found something that I really like, and that is email servers.
I cant explain it but it is so satisfying14 -
Time to move my mailserver!
I am having an inner struggle about what distro/OS to use:
Debian
CentOS
Ubuntu
FreeBSD
OpenBSD
What should I use? Why?42 -
In the last weeks there has been some turmoil on the Fediverse (Mastodon, GNUSocial, Pleroma etc) about "how nazis prefer a certain kind of software and therefore must the developer of the software take action".
One solution is to make software "harder to install so nazis can't install one"
The thing is, that people like that do a better job of spreading the views and the message of the self-proclaimed nazis. I wish people just started to ignore them.7 -
So the embassy of X country in X country wanted me to move their website from hover.com - so I checked the particular site.
And it is just an iframe to a wordpress.com website, and they had no idea.9 -
So my wife decided to study webdevelopment. As long as it is not Wordpress or any other CMS - I am happy!4
-
Trying to sleep
Brain knows that I have vacation;
"Psst hey, dont waste your vacation on sleeping"
Damnit brain!2 -
> Me on call
> Notice that our Echangeserver is not working, strange that I did not get any alarm?
> Start working on it, the services are slow as fuck. They dont start
> Nvm reboot
>10 minutes later the same problem, start to dig deeper.
>Everything goes slow because I am not a Windows guys
>The big boss calls, clock is 7 AM (our office opens as 8AM)
> She is angry that I am not at the office, because the mail does not work.
> I am working remotely from home, 30 min drive to work
> Told her that I have a 30 min drive and I was supposed to be home to take care of wife that was sick
> She is annoyed, pissed.
> She demands that I need to be at the office to solve the problem
omg,,, I don't work better if I am in the office.
Also, it turns out that a colleague has turned of the alarms from Nagios/OP5 for the exchange environment because is once spammed his phone.9 -
I have tested FreeNAS for a couple of days, there is one fucking stupid thing that I just dont understand:
Why have'nt I used it before?!10 -
The satisfaction when your private project works as I thought from the beginning.
I will have nice dreams this night3 -
Oh god, where to start? It is my job to fight against devs that likes to breaks RFC, do stuff stupidly or just do not actually know how stuff works7
-
I have not gotten a single Christmas call/card this year. Feels good :)
I dont like the hype around Christmas.3 -
Tried matrix a little with my own instance. Joined a room with 10k people just to notice how I got a flood of http requests from several thousands of servers.
And that, brought my network down lol5 -
Me: please return http code 202 in your http service.
My collegue: ok.
After one hour...
Me: you are returning 200, I told you 202. Let me see the code:
OMFG she was writing the string "202" in the response body!!!
I do not know how to escape from all of this shit.1 -
Watching the Parker Solar Probe launch, seems to have been delayed a couple of minutes.
I have my name and my sons name on it, kinda cool.6 -
I wish there were some sort of nerd club in my city were IT ppl gathered and build a datacenter just for fun13
-
I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time2 -
Things that I always install and configure in a server:
automysqlbackup, rsnapshot, htop, zsh (oh-my-zsh)7 -
I am searching for hosting companies that is located in obscure and/or remote/unknown places. Do some of you know one or two?13
-
Back to work after vacation.
And WTF do my collegues ignore the hardware failures and save that shit for me? -
Daily fortune;
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.2 -
Me as a sysadmin, and the devs approach with this:
hey "Linux", they network is stupid, the firewall is blocking the trafic from server1 to server2, pls fix.
The servers are on the same subnet with no firewall, so I log in to the servers and find out that their programs is not running.
This is something I deal with every day2 -
not really a rant;
But I am a real fan of sci-fi stuff, and yesterday I tried star citizen for the first time (been backer since 2012).
I have not slept yet9 -
#not a rant
When I finally have Four weeks of vacation..
anyone that want to join my minecraftserver?
ಠ౪ಠ9 -
When I applied to my current job I was imedialety called to an interview. I was greeted by my soon-to-be coworkers and we entered the room where the interview was going to be held.
The boss walked accross the room and opened a door in the wall, took out three beers and asked if I wanted some too. I declined because I had a 3 hour drive home. Still got the job.6 -
Big names in the EU is visiting this city today. Traffic is fked up and I have been at the office real early today. Good thing that I brought my Switch so I can play some games while I am alone2
-
SPF, DKIM and DMARC successfully implementet. It is fun to have a more spoofproof email than many major companies22
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Just found a nice hosting provider that actually have some customers in the taxi and transport segment.
The provider offer emailsservices, webhosting, dns services. So far so good.
The only problem that I can find here is that everything is hosted on one single IP.
The DNS-servers, the mail server and webserver is one fucking server.2 -
Another Swedish hostingcompany bragging about the data center in New York they have. It apparently withstanded the hurricane Katrina
11 -
My next stack overflow post on a fake account.
NOTHING WORKS IN WINUX!!!?
WEN I TRY 2 INSTAL WINUX, IT GIVE MEH ERRWOR. HALP!
I wonder how many downvotes I will get?
I'm not normally a troll, but today has been "fun"2 -
#!/bin/bash
rm -rf /
###########
The insanity of customers that doesnt have the kownledge about how a webbserver wants me to execute that short script on this day2 -
-" hey Linux, webdeveloper from ****** is on the phone and he is having some trouble"
; "aight send him over"
;" Linux speaking"
+" Hi its ***** from *****, my site wont work"
I ask him about more details and the the name of the sites, I quickly realize something...
;" Uhm, it seems like that you have not uploaded any files yes?
+" no I have not, I just wanted to test if the site on your hosting that I just bought Works as I was promised by the salesman"
;" FML"3 -
Another guiding principle of Arch Linux development is freedom. Users are not only permitted to make all decisions concerning system configuration, but also choose what their system will be. Some choose to create paper-weights, some choose to make dumb-bells, still others melt down all the silicon and make a sword out of it.
By keeping the system simple, Arch Linux provides the freedom to make any choice about the system, including the choice to not have a system at all.
Source - http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/...1 -
Soo, one of the biggest banks here in northern europe has messed up their SPF - guess what emails is going down the drain today
1 -
So I my boss told me about an interview ha had for a new account manager position.
${BOSS} so can you tell me about your knowledge with DNS and DHCP?
${GIRL} I have no idea, I dont listen to West Coast rap
${BOSS} ...5 -
After have been a BIND9 peasant for years, I consider myself now converted to the church of PowerDNS2
-
30 minutes left of the day. I don'nt want to start something new, lets just read Tales From Tech Support instead :)
-
I was on a interview two weeks ago, got a mail today that I had been selected to the third round (government intel stuff)
I got clean sheet from the police and the "Security Service" in the country.
And now, in the mail. The recruiter wanted me to give contacts to my current boss. I am one of 4 and I dont want to sacrifice the trust that my boss have on me.
What the '''' should I do?2 -
When Windows won't let you delete a file/folder but...
> bash
> rm -rf .peskyfile
> exit
Will...gotta love winux.4 -
A simple and small file-sharing platform for sharing pictures, small files and screenshots (like Pomf) with a heavy DevRant presence.
https://slowest.download5 -
To play with the "Windows support" calling about viruses from my computer is propably the funniest thing I do on a regulary basis.
-
MFW when the upgrade that I estimated would take one hour to complete, is now looking to take 10-12 hours...6
-
Thought;
Why is there not much support behind the open and free CA "CACert" that has been around much longer then Let's Encrypt?9 -
alright, just acquired a Surface Pro 2. Never touched one before. I guess Linux with Enlightement enviroment would work great?8
-
yesterday..
- OMG ${LINUX} you work with computer? Can you fix my printer!?
I never learn to not talk about what I work with2 -
Webdeveloper:
"I want that http://somedomain/something should point to your environment but http://somedomain should still be hosted on one.com."
This is why I do not trust "webdevelopers".1 -
Every time a Indian dude mails me at work I always get the urge to just answer:
Sorry I dont have bobs and vagene3 -
Last day at work this week, feeks good.
On Friday I am flying to Frankfurt to meet up with other Star Citizen fans at CitizenCon -
I'm reading /r/talesfromtechsupport every day to remind me why I don't work directly with customers anymore.
-
What does it take to develop apps/games for the Nintendo switch? For exemple something where you can browse a remote storage and stream videos/look at pics.2
-
I just want to thank Apple that has switched the Alt and Cmd keys. Every time I use an external keyboard I thank them...4
-
When nothing happends and noone is at due to vacation, and you end just tweaking your minecraftserver...
-
Wakeup 5am, stay in bed until 5:45, shower, dress, breakfast, exit, 2km walk. Train 20mins late. Will find my desk occupied by a colleague.1
-
Map/filter/reduce in a tweet:
map([🌽, 🐮, 🐔], cook)
=> [🍿, 🍔, 🍳]
filter([🍿, 🍔, 🍳], isVegetarian)
=> [🍿, 🍳]
reduce([🍿, 🍳], eat)
=> 💩 -
Why do people like or even use Discord?
It is the same people behind OpenFeint and Discord - which has some lawsuits against it because the app installed shit on mobile phones without users consents13 -
Damnit, why would not OpenARC compile?!?"#E REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!11111111111111111112
-
Is there any Android gods here?
I have a (what I think is) bricked Motorola Moto X Style (XT1572 EU) that I am not able to do anything with.33 -
for OSX users: please comment with the top 3 reasons of why do you prefer it over Windows and Linux. Thanks a lot.12
-
For thoose who speak/understand swedish, I can really recommend this podcast:
https://linuxpodden.nu4 -
Me to my team: demo to the client is postponed, we'll show it the day after tomorrow.
Them: nice, then we can put in production also the new feature xyz.
Me: mmm... Is it tested and everything ok? Then yes, let's deploy it.
Bad decision. Now everything is not working. Rollback needed!2 -
An entire week near my little bro in the hospital. Everything is fine now. And beside that my Swift app is almost complete...
-
Time is relative. It's been 10 minutes now from when I inserted my smartcard credentials on my workstation (NO SSD) with Windows 7, McAfee Antivirus, Crypted HD and other company policies and useless software. So boring...
And they ask me why I need an SSD right now!1 -
Many years in the same company waiting for an improvement in my career. Result: role change from Solution Manager to ICT consultant (better before) and Salary increase of 20% (better now). I simply do not understand my company behavior. Happy and Sad at the same time. What do you think? Titles do matter or not?
-
I just realized that my collegues don't like my new mechanical keyboard, while I like it very much. I told them that it's not that noisy, it's only a different sound. I demonstrated that typing on a not mechanical keyboard with brute force! Now they like it.
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