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Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:
Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!8 -
My girlfriend sent me this error message from a BIM software which she uses at work. I would like to see more sophisticated error messages from a software with a 4K price tag.
6 -
Other people : she said yes :') :')
Me: the client accepted the first draft without asking for changes :') :')2 -
My boss thinks once the UI is made , the backend and integration shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.
I want to kick him on the dark side of his moon10 -
Rant!!
Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..
I answer the call...
Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..
Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally
Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..
She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet
26 -
Boss man: your code has issues , you should strive to have lesser bugs.
Me: GTA was made due to a bug in the their code.
*mic drop, leaves office, clapping heard in background*
😂
12 -
Making fun of a skinny/fat person working out is like making fun of an uneducated man trying to learn6
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Beep bop, I’m a bot.
Future CEO of GitHub Nat Friedman made an AMA on Reddit to respond to questions about the future of GitHub.
Of course, Clippy came up.
Source: https://reddit.com/r/AMA/...
6 -
This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML
To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard
13 -
When your colleague, who wrote the API is on vacation, the documentation is non-existent and you are tired from reading all-day long his spaghetti code, so you are just waiting for him to show up.
2 -
Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...6 -
So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!
It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ? -
People here are arguing about a guy using MS word as a HTML IDE,
My boss once showed me how blind people read "colors" by running his fingers over the phone screen.2 -
Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.
Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.5 -
What kind of dumb fucks are making these job application forms, initially I thought asking my “sexual preference” was weird but then I saw these !!!!
How does my earlier financial condition or what my parents did when I was 14 help my job application when now I am 28 !!
The fuck
8 -
The live devRant AMA/event thingy is in a few hours I think?
Gotta go to sleep right fucking now.
Don't want to get spoiled by the rants tomorrow morning.
This means nearly a whole day of no devRant 😫.
Anyways, good luck dfox and trogus!8 -
I feel like a e-hoarder, I keep tabs and sublime windows open and worry about closing them as they might contain important code...
FML4 -
Get projects from companies and let students compete to complete those projects ,
Projects could be basic , but the students would get a good chance to see what is being done in real projects what tech is used.7 -
The fuck did I do wrong?
So I had 11 vulnerabilities 1 high.
I just npm audit fix
Now it’s 44 vulnerabilities
14 -
Around 2 months ago, I worked at Subway. AMA (just joking. Don't do it.)
I worked there for a week (I could write a lot about the environment) and quit it because of how entitled, lazy, rude and crazy the boss was.
The boss was the usual crackhead woman straight from the dumpster.
She used the Subway Instagram and Facebook pages as her private personal pages.
She told us to follow the Instagram page, like everything and comment on every post.
I didn't do it. Instead I shared the page with my friends and we laughed our asses off.
End of story.6 -
Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.4
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CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .
Me: yep, it’s really useful
CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?
Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.
CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...2 -
Just received a job invitation for my first developer position. But I never wrote a line of code in my life. I guess my interviewer too.8
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I couldn’t get a dev duck ,
So here comes Dev Spider-Man!!!
Well he’s obviously good at coding , cos you know , he works on the web 🤣
3 -
!rant
I've been working for the last 5 months at this job and I'm getting promoted. My manager built a custom position after noticing my skills. I love my job. AMA!3 -
As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts
1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying
2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you
3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.
4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth9 -
So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ... -
Learning to use Lightroom,
First try...
The hardest part about editing photos is to not oversaturated them even when you feel warmer colours look better . I guess I overdid it
P.S. that’s me in the picture enjoying the sky pissing on my face (sarcasm intended)
5 -
Looks like the idiot changed their mind quite too early... This time ama do "1 != 1" cause I don't know what might come next. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
7 -
Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer
Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say4 -
Update !!
/**
I’ve been given the liberty to choose my job title by my HR,
Can you guys suggest a good one
**/
My current title is Sr. Product Engineer.
They have suggested product manager or technical manager , but I feel these sound bossy
/**
Any recommendations are welcome
**/36 -
Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣3 -
“You want to know the answer to that” is the answer I got to my question about a piece of code...
I guess he thought he’s too good for the job.
The dude had decent amount of knowledge but was arrogant as fuck.
Every time I asked him a question he would react as if I was making him work without pay that too on a Sunday (it wasn’t)
P.S. fucker got rejected2 -
As much as I love using a mechanical keyboard ,I fucking hate the taps it makes when others use it
It’s like this constant hammer,
FUCK YOU BITCHES , don’t fucking hit it likes there’s no tomorrow !!!5 -
FUCKING FUCK ANGULAR!!!!
LIKE FUCK IT IN THE ARSE AND BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER WHILE LAUNCHING A MISSILE ON IT TO BE SURE!
(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ ﾐ ┸━┸
So I am making something on angular and I got everything running in ng serve(development environment) , after handling all issues and showing it to my boss man he approves and asked to put it up on prod for a demo , doesn’t sound like an issue , I make the prod build on cli and BAM! 16 errors ? No issues right?, I’ll just google the issue. Googles.... there aren’t no clear solutions to it as the angular version keeps changing and nobody knows what broke it, I mean people have the issue,but like 100 reasons that can cause it,
HOLY LORD RELEASE A NEWER VERSION AFTER MENDING THE OLD ONE
But nooooooo!
Angular Dev:We fucked this one, lol what should we do boss man?
Angular boss man: lol just leave it, we need to build the new version with newer bugs,
P.S. I like angular, but it’s like a underdeveloped framework, too many issues and too many changes2 -
After working for months , I've understood that we should overestimate the time that will be taken to complete a task
But now it's getting annoying , I mean It's been a week I finished my project and am ideal ,
Btw, the project timeline was a week , ( I finished the work in a day ) -
I get anxiety when I have no work for days,
I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.5 -
Fucking managers
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow
Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.
Manager walks in
Manager: how’s function x going
Me: great , will be done soon
Manager: you need to finish it by today
Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)
Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help
Me: okay
We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be
P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know1 -
Detox for a couple of weeks.
Have been avoiding social media apps like Instagram and Facebook.
It’s day 3, already feeling positive and less stressed
Only downside is what to do in free time8 -
Years ago I was on the board for the European Student Card pilot.
What a beauty.
It went well and fully operating around three years later. Then escalated and got a new project name, myAcademicID.
Requirements became more political so I left.
I am still registered on the dev & sandbox. AMA4 -
Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.
Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “8 -
...It relies on the BouncyCastle cryptography library instead of OpenSSL, yet replicates OpenSSL bugs to guarantee compatibility.2
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Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself1 -
Finally , dual monitor , too bad am going on a vacation tomorrow.
Been cribbing about a single monitor since ages (1 year)
5 -
Biggest sin
Due to lack of time, I named all the variables in my project without logic,
Like temp1,str1, function dojson etc
Lord be with the dev who's gonna work on that project
PS I am not a bad person, it is the time that made do such things -
Hardest thing for me as Team leader is to teach people in my team, that task is done, when unit tests are written, pull request is created, approved and merged.
Not when their code compiles for a first time.1 -
Heiloo people!
I had this app on my device for a while now.. it's only now I explored what this is all about! It's AMA-IZ-ING :D4 -
A home designer ( a.k.a Interior Designer )
Ever since I got my home renovated 5 years ago, I love finding ways to make the houses look and feel better. -
Quit a shitty gig finally. Today is first day waking up and not having to turn up for this shit. There are so many mixed feelings I don’t even.
AMA?8 -
hi devrant!
about six months ago i posted that i was accepted into and starting at a coding bootcamp. next week is the last week of curriculum for me before i can choose to be a teachers assistant or finish my capstone project and graduate!
some basic info about the course i took:
- 6 months (3 months web dev 2 months CS 1 month capstone project )
- starts by learning the MERN stack
- includes noSQL and SQL dbs
- transitions into C and then python for computer science
- includes basic security info
- lots and lots of algorithm practice
- lots of job readiness stuff (resume writing, linkedin, etc, but i havent done that yet)
- lots of portfolio-able projects throughout the schooling experience
- previous cohorts have something like 40% (after 1month) and 70% (after two) job placement rates (rough estimate)
let me know if anyone is curious about anything related and id be happy to answer what questions i can! :)6 -
This cat is looking at me like how my manager looks at me when I say am gonna work a few extra hours of work because I like what I do...
Am the one who gave her the milk 😅
1 -
Fucking fuck !
I work with a senior Dev,
It’s pretty much like am working under him....
He’s like a great Dev no doubt about it
But !!!!
He’s a fucking dumbass when it comes to working in a team. He makes changes in my code without telling me. He says He forgot to tell me , every single time
When I ask him how a piece of code works , he says it’s pretty much obvious and acts like even a 6 year old kid Would know this ,
He doesn’t think 2 steps ahead before solving a problem usually creating another problem !
We were once working on a language which we weren’t very good at , so I suggested him to ask another Dev in our company about inputs on our code structure to which he completely Disagreed saying they really won’t know much and that he knows more than them..
Fucking dumbass thinks he knows more than most ...
I have tried confronting him multiple times but he feels but he just won’t listen...1 -
Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes2 -
To all those geniuses who keep a finger on my screen to show me what they wanted to be changed ,you need to remove your fucking finger first so that I can see what you are talking about. I fucking can’t see through your finger.
Worst part is when they have huge palms that cover most of the screen1 -
So if you’re planning on going to Antarctica sometime soon, well then don’t ,
Reference: earth.nulschool.net
2 -
If anyone can help
I need to copy 2000+ DVDs in 3 days. What are my options?
https://hn.premii.com//...
He’s ripping the national archives to make it freely available , he has the legal access but lacks the equipment.
Any help would be appreciated1 -
Heads up , not a tech rant
So I now know what you should say if your kid asks what kind of person you should or should not be
So in the picture (sorry it isn’t clear , was taken late night after work) was a common parking area , the bikes parked you see are parked leaving space between at least for 2 more bikes. The owners usually park it that way cos they are too lazy to “properly park”. I confronted them last month and they said they’ll look into it , they have been contacted by various people from my area about this mattter , but it seems they don’t think it matters
So kids , learn to be considerate and not a douche bag , learn to listen and act , not act and listen , and last of all , learn to be a better person , that’s what humans have been trying to do for hundreds of years
1 -
I'm a software developer, but I'm finding myself more interested bio and electro-mechanical engineering. And to top it off, I'd most like to be a bio-mechanical engineer — which is very different from the other two previous mentions. ...But, I'm well paid now, my last retail start-up failed, and money talks. For now my fogponic ecosystem (fish + biofilter + fog + plants) in my backyard will have to suffice. Now I'm actually interested in waste recycling...
Yeah... I get bored while waiting for parts to come from China. Can never have too many hobbies.
Anyways AMA, if you like. It can be about robots, fish, plants, IoT, apps, web, solar power, 3D printing, VR... You name it! -
How the fuck do Jr devs end up doing things someone specifically asks not to do.!!!!!
Fucks timelines up
So I asked my Jr Dev to leave a feature as it might not be required in this release and rather concentrate on the thing that is gonna make this release work , the “SAVE” button.
I mean how had is it to understand,
This dude goes ahead and “utilises” days on the thing that isn’t gonna be released(a dropdown) , and no, the dropdown still doesn’t work.
I understand the spirit of solving the bugs first. But what’s the point of solving it if it doesn’t fucking “save”
P.S. I’ve done this too as a Jr Dev :p7 -
Hey guys, I am implementing some integration tools for Blokchains and planning to make it SaaS ( Software as a Service ). The biggest problem for me is to generate a unique name for that project. Can you help me?3
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Forgetting to switch the git branch from master to back to Dev after committing. If I had a penny!4
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After I finished the university, I felt like I didn't know anything. I'm learning everyday something new in my work (I'm working 8 years as a dev), but I can't say comfortably that I'm good at programming. After work I'm going home, where I learn and practice new things and deepen my understanding of the core concepts, but again, I feel like I don't know anything. Will I ever feel that I'm a good programmer?2
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Bitch!!!!
I have started to hate stackoverflow
I mean I asked a simple question about how to download a PDF over JavaScript. The question is marked duplicate and down voted.
How stupid can some dumbasses be? Yes a similar question was asked and answered
But..
The duplicate post they’ve marked used to work,USED to , that code doesn’t work anymore.
I mean come on I’ve specifically written I tried that and it doesn’t work anymore. But some fuckers just want to look cool by downvoting other.4 -
Wrong place. . But ama rant
I think having a girlfriend and being a senior software engineer dont go together.
For the past 3 weeks I have a very terrible week product luanch after product luanch. . To top it up all product promotions keep coming left right center then you also need to support some system you wrote many many years ago because the company does want to hire support engineers. You go to office at 8am and leave 7pm some times 9 in the afternoon . There is no time to see your see your gf and weekends, its either you are working on some thing random. Try to explain that to her.. all she see are excuses not be with her. The moment I try to be unemployed I doubt if she can stay8 -
I just learned C and I have created some projects like Parking System and Library Management System. My problem is I don't know mathematics and I want to learn DataStructures & Algorithms and become pro in it. In the whole September I will still be focusing on C and create more projects. I have started learning Mathematics today from High School level to College level. I thik maths will take 1 year to complete. After September in the October I want to start learning C++ and finish C++ till the end of Dec 2019. I want to know that do I have to first finish my maths learning which will take 1 year then I should start learning Data Structures and Algorithms? As I said I want to become a professional in Algorithms. I think its not possible to learn DS&A yet I have to wait 1 year till I finish learning my Maths. I can't do more with C & C++ without knwoing DS&A? If I started learning DS&A with C++ in the future then I can't become good at algorithms? I want to do competitive programming and be at Top 1 of Hacker Rank and other sites like this.7
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Just ordered my first Alienware laptop.
As much as I want to be excited , I know devices and laptops don’t last that long like they used to years ago5 -
The best part about working on Someone else's UI bug fixes is that you get to look like a hero when you fix the bugs and make all their work look like a sham - asshole 101
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Devrant should have a "preview" image option for images uploaded on a rant. You could just end up uploading images of you and your vacuum cleaner doing some "cleaning"
@dfox1 -
I am done with this county where people are soooo radical and yet sheepish that they believe what’s shown on news.
Too many things to point out but won’t help .
So I am taking suggestions for countries to move.
Preferably Europe cos US is tiring to shit now20 -
(heading)How a programming language is created? Because I want to make my own.(heading)
I am learning C and next I will learn C++, SQL,DS&A, Assembley, Lex&Yacc,Operating Systems, Computer Arcticture, Computer Networks because I think it's enough for my goal. The only reason I am learning this, to make my own C++ clone with my own knowledge. But I really don't know how can I create my own programming language like C++ from scratch. Like what are the first steps to began with. As I know that C, first step is Preprocessor then Compiler then Assembler then (Loader/Linker).
Anyone please give me a step by step guide like learn this language first then this then this. So I can finally reach that amount of knowledge which I can implement to create my own programming language like C++.6 -
I'm in my first year of college, it's so much work and I just feel so tired but I'm really loving it (I just get bothered by how my classmates talk so much BS on our whatsapp group). nothing like some dig dug to relax
2 -
I just spent like an hour trying to fix some piece of code and guess what was the problem? a fucking TYPO! That was so frustrating LMAO (laughing but crying inside) T-T1
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I was just thinking about life and stuff and damn I play too much minesweeper, IDK why I like it so much -_-4
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Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working5 -
Wasted 2 years of my life working at a retail store den i decided fuck dis shit ama pursue dis web dev thing2
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So yeah, I am officially a product manager now!
It’s a hate love relation becoming a manager from a developer6 -
Fixing bugs is like scratching balls , if you're at it for too long and it hurts ....
It's probably time to try a different approach .... -
If you’re having a bad day , always remember , Poseidon loves you..
Reference - kiss of Poseidon
https://urbandictionary.com/define....1 -
!! WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE!!
So my Xbox one broke down and I want it to be replaced, since it is out of warranty , I don’t mind paying for a replacement(I heard somewhere they have an offer where you pay a small amount for a new one)
But those fuckers aren’t human, not metaphorically, I mean literally , you can’t call/chat with a human , the only time you can contact a human is after 7:30 fucking PM.
Royal fuck in the nuts witha hammer, you’re Microsoft , not some porn company which is only in one country ,please have a “working” customer service, recommend you guys, before going to buy a Microsoft product , just try to connect to microsoft , you’ll probably end up buying something else
P.S. the image below shows how the only time I can connect to a human is after 7:30PM - 7:00 AM, and no emails too don’t work
4 -
I am learning C++ and I want to develop my own custom ROM for android from AOSP which is Android Open Source Project. I don't know anything about how to do it help on internet is not clear and on the Android official website there is no section for documentation and people on other sites say read documentation.4
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I was working so hard on debugging a code that I started writing semicolon at the end of a sentence instead of full stop
FML -
How do I tell my “senior” co-worker that he’s a shitty person while working in a group , I just can’t tell my manager cos they both are good friends, I’ve tried confronting him but it didn’t make much of a difference. This is really frustrating me because I am always seen as the person who doesn’t know shit cos the senior co-worker keep changing the back end and my code 😓😓😓1
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What’s your take on engineering managers just focusing on delivering the product. Making sure the management happy.
TL;DR.
To begin, i want to clear it out that my EM is a really sweet person and tries to accommodate all of us and takes pressure off us whenever possible.
But he’s a really shitty manager. He’s the kinda guy whom you can give a weekend project and he’ll an excellent job. On the other hand, if the taks requires more than a weekend, he’ll probably fuck it up.
He thinks everything can be done in a jiffy and we don’t need to think about the edge cases.
His reasoning for not giving quality importance is that he wants us to focus on building the product and making it shippable. We can iron out issues once we get it done.
He’s decided not to let the tests run in the cicd pipeline because that might hinder making hot fixes.
I’ve tried talking to him but he believes that’s the only way management is willing to agree to.2 -
I recently un-boxed a pixel 2, though great on the specs side, I wouldn't buy it because of the looks and weight,
It just doesn't feel great in the hand, I mean if am spending that much, I should feel am holding a premium device at hand, but It feels like a dummy,
Camera might be great, but the bezel was too big -
Need some advice on RAM,
So I’ve a laptop with 8GB ram and I am planning on a upgrade, now if I remember correctly I CAN add a 16Gig stick and it’ll be 24gig, but is it a good call to have different sized ram.
PS. Suggest a ram
Current RAM : HMA81GS6AFR8N-UH
Hynix
P.P.S - I’ll obviously add RAM of the same frequency10 -
Hi, so I’ve made a site where I upload small(very) projects I work on in my free time, they aren’t huge animation based rocket ships , rather small but handy stuff like basic light-weight alert boxes.
Now am thinking if any one of you guys have some amazing plugins or things you wanna show, but are feeling too lazy to upload, I can give you a sub domain like awesomesheet.simplecode.in(you’ve to upload the files somewhere like 000webhist)
Just let me know in mohit@simplecode.in
So here it is.
https://simplecode.in
This was made in 2-3 days, so please be kind.
The place is still under construction2 -
What if parallel universe is real and all of us are just a copy of one person with a small differences just like parallel universe.
Food for thought17 -
Is there a desktop widget to monitor my websites if they are down, slow.
I know I can have web services for that to receive emails about down websites
But I really just want a simple widget with a simple ui that tells warns me when my website is down3 -
Need help/advice.
I’ve a raspberry pie 3B.
The pi boots up with the OS previously installed on it, theHDMI port works perfectly,
The problem is , I can’t get the USB ports to work, nor does the LAN port works. And the wifi also doesn’t connect automatically donno why , not sure if the wifi wasn’t setup or the chip is gone bad, just need to know what I can do with it4
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