Brain: hey kiddo, want to stay home and work on your side project today? I'm feeling good.
Me: fuck yeah finally!

*call in sick.
*open laptop. Tabs and editors already waiting.
*play music, no sound.
*system is all laggy.
*fuck, restart.
*
*Installing windows updates...

*leaves for work.

My gf tried to charge the pendrive, coz the pc said device not recognized.
How they do this ???

You always need to remind yourself that where you began :)

Reviewing coworker's code:

Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.

Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*

Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️

My internship at startup:
Dream: Lots of coding
Reality: Maintaining Excel sheets for API functions.😑

Me: *reinstalling windows10 using the recovery disk.

"Your partitions will be reformatted if needed... warnings this, that... Continue?"
Me: do it already!

"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Sorry cannot recover. We didn't change anything."

Me: *reboot
.
.
.
.
"No bootable drive found"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIAR! *throws away the thumb drive with the laptop attached out of spite

Noobs : Send Nudes
Programmer's : Send Scripts

Broke Up with my girl.
Can't focus on Project.
Plz help, tell me how you guys recover from this.

The only reason I use Linux is because I can't get a mac.

Starting on Dvorak today... Bglj vd ofuv!

Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.

He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.

I got a bug report with a typo in it. The subject read "...action X takes long time thank expected."
The thank is supposed to be "than".

I chuckled and immediately created a snapshot that shows the result of the action and the success message says, "Action successful, thank you for your patience."
I shared it with my team but no one even acknowledged it. 😞

I hate the idea of a programmer's day.
I like the logic (256th day) but hate the idea.
It feels full of bullshit. It feels fake.
I guess it had that wannabe impersonator vibe to it that makes me nauseated.
I have similar feelings towards other kinds of such days.

My girlfriend dumped me coz I named a js prototype on her, she said I treated her as classless.

Slapping idiots around.

This needs to be a trend.

---
Actual rant :
I'm sitting in this idiot haven completing my mandatory hours doing nothing. Earlier I would spend this time learning stuff but I'm too fed up to do anything. This place is driving me mad and just today I had to suffer through more madness that is blocking me from resolving a bug.(I don't have the license to run the product I'm supposed to be fixing)
The number of inept idiots is too damn high. I try not to be bothered but I can only try so much.

I trimmed my beard and now can't grow it back.
:/

When we know the listener is dumb.

Every time I have to recall how to LaTeX, it's a huge pain in the ass. It's like learning to code in Greek (I don't know Greek). Happens every single time (it can be months before I need to use it again).

However.

Every time I finish my creation, I fall in love with LaTeX all over again.

'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'

Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.

'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'

Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)

' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'

Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.

What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.

Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!

Now my facebook messenger app does it's updates inside the app without my consent to install an apk.
I'm scared

Family expectations from an engineer in India:

Go fix the ceiling fan, it's very slow these days.
😖

Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.

Okay, I guess.

What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!

Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link

Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.

WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!

Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!

What the actual fuck?!

My password manager!!
I use passwords I can never remember, stay logged in, next time I need to log_in I use the passqord forgotten button, reset it with my e-mail or better phone

How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?

I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.

If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.

My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.

Student Account Password at the university. No changes the default. It's their DOB and first two letters of the name.

Injection steps:
Open Database ( I am the Placement Representative )
Copy DOB
Paste
Add the first two alphabet
Unlocked

Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".

Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?

I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁

How many of you wear shades at work?

I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄

If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content.

If Skype 4 Business could stop changing the control names for their input fields, randomly, that'd be great.

Wanted to work as a Data Scientist, got a job of ruby on rails developer 😪

Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?

I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.

Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !

I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies

What should I do, fix grub or have an omlet.

Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎

Got a ++ within 10 seconds of posting!

My life was troublesome today, had to help a non programmer to run jar files.

The jar executed well from command line in Windows 10 but didn't work on double click.

Did all the tricks, registry edits, cmd commands and at last I found a miracle tool called Jarfix.

Just double click and all okay.

The root cause of the problem was 7zip.

This bug is reported in the Oracle bug reporting and they have closed it as " Will not fix" low-priority report.

Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.

Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.

There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.

Still waiting for that confirmation email. Multiple resends and still nothing. My inbox has nothing from devrant. Now I can't ++. I want to ++. Seems like I can't have anything I want at all.
.
.
.
.

That's old. I deleted and created my account again but the rant was still saved so I thought why not start with it.

Make the 14 year old me proud.
It's going to be a big task.
🎩

My office WiFi is freaking fast upto 25mbps, should I download Torrents using it. Is there a possibility that corporate networks are under more surveillance ?

Buy dell, hp, lenovo and any other craptop company out there and fire all the numbnuts working there so that they slowly die of unemployment in the fucking gutters where their useless asses rightly belong. Oh and castrate them too so that they don't reproduce.
I'm considering going full Lannister on them but that might be too harsh.

I've been meaning to sign up on dev.to for a while now.
Finally started the sign up process. They require you to agree to follow their code of conduct which states that they will prioritize empowering the marginalized communities and in order to do that they will *not* act on complaints of reverse-isms. Reverse (sexism | racism), cisphobia, etc.
Am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? I'm all for empowering people, tolerance and not getting trolled but outrightly rejecting complaints on topics that seem politically incorrect sounds superfluous to me. Am I interpreting something wrong? (I hope I am because in general I find the community to be nice and positive)

You know you hit rock bottom when can only comunicate with a chat bot.

Worst disturbance? This person who sits behind my back. I've gotten used to them not minding their own business and snooping into mine but to counter that they've taken to distracting me and others all the time.
Sample this incident from just a few moments ago (inspiring the rant).

Me: *debugging while listening to some ambient music channel
Them: *rushes to my desk, putting a hand behind my back
Me: *politely takes off headphones asking, What?
Them: *after peeking at my screen, nvm, I'll tell you later, I have a meeting to go to.

Fucking hell, idiot! It already takes me hours of pushing myself to come to work at this good for nothing place and then actually get to working. Just flush your head in the toilet so you don't take a dump on me with your shitty restlessness.

What do you think of online tests (for hiring) with a mandatory webcam?
The webcam part is making me anxious enough to back out.

Finally I have something decent for my résumé.
I was going through some LaTeX hell before someone started a cv tools discussion. It was good to learn that json cv is a thing. But it was too late for me. LaTeX posed a challenge and I was bored. It became personal.
After a lot of kicking around and landing on XeLaTeX, I finally have a decent layout. I had to compromise a tiny bit but that's on me for having little content.
(I wanted a graphic résumé but I'll need to do more to sufficiently fill a page. Besides I'd need to design icons and shit for it.)

Now it's done and my job hunt can start!

Weekly drama call 1.
(the number reflects the devrant broadcast count not the actual count).

We work with a remote team and the project manager there just loves to talk. It started as something adorable(?) but it's just plain annoying now. He keeps on talking and talking and talking. We just muted him, had a good laugh and missed nothing. Nobody has any idea when he'll stop.
:/

.
.

It's too late for this but I just realized it so I'm sharing it anyway.
How do I get through tough dev days?
Depending on how tough it is going :
House music
Soundtracks for focus
Soundtracks for action (any Assassins here?)
AC soundtrack with chocolate.

A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.

Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.

I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.

I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.

Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.

The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.

Pretty recent one. I found that I can use Perl to edit files using a single cmd line (with regex search and replace). Loved it.

Last rant update:
I won't have to take a leave after all and won't have to force myself to a wasted day full of useless awkward interactions or roaming around in a park.
Phew!

Out of the loop...

Why was the chill people thread deleted?

Probably Dangerous Dave.
I used to play and draw shit on ms paint before I got into programming.

Factory girl fucked my test, I should have learnt to handle her first.

DRC Hide & Seek

Me: runs DRC on finished layout
KiCAD: Unconnected nets found.
Me: fixes unconnected and runs DRC again
KiCAD: Different unconnected nets found
Me: fixes unconnected and runs DRC again
KiCAD: Differen unconnected nets found
Me: srsly?! Why can't you tell me all of them at once?

I can't believe that this platform is still not dead!! Aren't the devs ranting on X more?

What password manager do you use?

@trogus, can we get angry/sad looking faces in avatars?

Best: rediscovering auto hotkey. It's weird how much it pleases me. 😳

Worst: Oh so many. I've tried to overcome these with varying success rates but there's one that is still a big pain: job.

I am wondering what secure app do you guys use for texting/voice/video.

I know Signal but I am looking for something that uses a username like devrant instead of a phone number.

There's a game called Virtual Beggar. I don't usually like these mindless games but since it was so easy and I wanted to see what jokes the developer has hidden in it, I played it for a few days. I got to a point where you're asked to make the ultimate donation and restart the game. That's apparently asked multiple times in the game. You become a millionaire and then restart. Billionaire, again restart.
That's what I see now when I see people deleting their accounts and returning the next day.

So I'm here after a long break coz my life is shit all over again, and only devRant allows me to rant officially.

I was selected by a recruiter visiting our college in very early days of the campus placements, September last year,

Problem 1:
I wasn't allowed to sit in any of the other recruitment drives by the college, even when I didn't really like the job profile I was in

Problem 2:
The company is taking 12 tests and wants me to work on 3 Projects of bootstrap, rails, and react each, before they give me joining.

Here I am working like an asshole with all frustrations after my college got over to finish the tasks without a penny.

This frustration is only causing more and more delay in my work.

Update to my last rant:

I wrote a reply to the person. Not scathing (as I'd have liked it to be) but firm and in a no nonsense way. My manager supported me. My project manager talked with the person to in order to convey what the issue is and to undo any misunderstandings due to written communication (we have different native languages).

I have not received a reply but my project manager told me that they are analyzing the problem now. I was also told that they are not a bad person. ^^
I think I'd like to believe that. We all make mistakes after all.

Anti climactic story time (as in there's no promotion in this story):

Sometime ago there were some organizational changes happening in my company that put me in a very tricky place. Theoretically, I was put on a level that was supposed to be an upgrade from my previous level. Practically, it didn't come with any benefits and it was actually a downgrade because anyone who joined the company in the six months before these changes was in the same level as me (who'd been in for roughly 2 years).
It felt really insulting because I was about to be actually promoted. My manager and his manager tried to gaslight me into believing that I'm not at all affected in any way, before giving in and agreeing that a mistake was made. I was promised that next year it'll be corrected and I'll be promoted two levels. Even the HR assured me of that. I knew it was too good to be true but I was too demotivated to find another job.
Fast forward one year. My bosses are all praises for the work I put in. But, no two level promotion. Reason? They tried but couldn't get the management to agree. The boss apologized to me and asked me if I wanted him to try again. What an insolent arse!

Fast forward one more, extremely glum year.
This time I am part of a different team so the team lead is different but the manager is same. The team lead really went all out with showing appreciation for me. He talked for almost an hour(!) about how I exceeded his expectations and went on to claim that his app's release would have been impossible if it weren't for me, the new team member. It was really humbling and satisfying. But what did I get? A limp handshake from the manager with fucking loose change.
Silver lining. At least the manager did away with the 'well wisher, on your side' pretense this time. No mentions of failed promises, just regular empty promises for the future.

Fast forward 3 months.
Still here. Recovering. I am mulling over a much better offer than what my current boss can give me. Thinking about how long it takes before I'm in the dumpster again. I have stopped giving any fucks about anything here. I try to do the minimum required unless it benefits me in some way.

The end.

Dvorak users, how do you manage your shortcuts, like in vim?
I can't quit it anymore! 😜

I am too scared to remap everything.

I have a choice to either take a leave without me wanting to or to go waste my day with the people in a theme park that I already don't much like.
All because someone wants their picnic figures to look good.

A different error message ! finally some progress ! :)

There weren't enough barbed poles in my sorry ass apparently. For I have inserted in a big one by deciding to use blender. 😬
Zero background in animation but I want to create a little animation and PowerPoint isn't proving enough for it, and after fucking around with Synfig I realized I actually need a 3d animation tool.
So yeah. Basically, fucked myself.

Tats Google Tez App for me

C++ is the worst thing ever happened to the developer community.

Doesn't have a stand of its own. Always changing.

Is it so

The sticker would look amazing on my laptop, too bad i'm not going to get one soon 🙁🙁

Finally Rails doesn't look like MAGIC to me anymore.

After doing 3 fucking projects

I need a scraper, or a f$$$in api

Anybody using Jetbrains PyCharm on Linux ?

I'm using Fedora 25/ pre-release, and It's rock solid except for wifi hotspot and I don't need it.

Now my school gave me a Windows 10 pro key, and I'm hesitant.
Should I install it ?
Will I need it ?