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I sleepy, accessing the server in the middle of the night to resolve a problem.
Problem solved.
shutdown now
'ssh connection closed'
shutdown now
Go back to sleep.
Phone ringing.7 -
Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.
Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.
F : But that's your job. No?
Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.
* Goes on to see the frontend *
I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.
Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.
F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!
Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!
Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*
Bastards!7 -
It's not a dev quiting but my brother who worked in parcel delivery at that time.
He was hired on a temporary contract but promissed from the beginning and in every discussion they had, that he'll get a permanent position after 6 moth, if his work is good.
Fast forward 6 months. They had a meeting and told him how satisfied they where with his work so naturally he asked about the permanent contract. Fuckers acted suprise and shit. Claiming to never have said any of it. However as they are happy with him and so "generous", they offerd him another contract for 6 months and told him, they could talk about a permanent one after that period.
He kind of has a temprament, so he got up, fliped them the bird and called them lying assholes and went home. He didn't show for the time left on his contract.
The funny thing about it he worked for the swiss postal service (which is owned by the state) but not directly but through this.company providing temporary workers (which is cheaper for them as they get a shitty salary compared to a full time employee with all the benefits).
Wankers!
Nice thing though, the accounting department still sent him a christmas bonus (he quit somewhere around mai...)7 -
Fucking retards. They make us submit 3 fully fledged fucking Android apps (with ALL the generated boilerplate crap), all zipped into one fucking folder which cannot exceed 10MB.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU DUNG-EATING PREHISTORIC APE ?! ONE PROJECT ALONE IS 60 MB, HOW IN THE MOTHER-FLIPPING HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIT 3 OF THOSE INTO 10 MEASLY MEGABYTES?!
Ever heard of git you moth-eating-cactus-fucking pricks?! Time has come to learn it !!! Private repos are a thing, you cocksuckers.
May your bed be infested with bugs and your code riddled with Greek semi-colons. Fucking dimwits.7 -
I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.
I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.
I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.
But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.
I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.
And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.
So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.
At least her frustration wasn't at us.6 -
I've spent three days trying to upload some code to my ESP8266 and it failed every time. Now I just plugged the Arduino at my Desktop and it works. Notebook USB port does not provide enough current I think.
17 -
*A video playing in a website and I can't find the video on the site*
me:
$("video").src = ""
Oh man, sometimes I am so hacker :')4 -
Unintentionally I pressed Caps Lock while I was using vim, then I realized I was already in Narnia.2
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Have you ever heard the story of the first bug in software development?
The first documented bug was actually a bug. There was a moth trapped inside the computer causing the bugs.
source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/...8 -
Linux is pretty much like Windows, but instead of "next, next, next, and finish" you do "copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste".10
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"PHP does not need good practices, because the use of PHP it is already a good practice". This is one of the loading messages in the Slack where I work.
PS: We do not use PHP there.8 -
"The only way to make the deadline - the only way to go fast - is to keep the code as clean as possible at all times."
Uncle Bob
Spread the word.1 -
I woke up screaming today. I had a nightmare where I ran git pull on the project I work on every day, and it had become a .NET project.6
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I type the YouTube URL at the address bar already with the q parameter with what I want to search to save one HTTP request.4
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After 30 years in Web Development I still spend a lot of time to put the footer on the bottom of the page when the content is small.4
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I just said out loud to the computer: So, is 1 bigger than 1?
Sometimes I think how funny would be someone watching a programmer.4 -
I'm learning docker and I just started a container running a Linux distro.
What was the first command I run in the container?
rm -Rf / --no-preserve-root3 -
This was a much needed vacation.
Was working non stop for last 6 moth. Went to my native place, enjoyed time with my parents and frienss.
4 -
When you have a one-to-one relationship, do you merge the tables into one table or do you keep the two tables?7
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I am a good person. I can even say I am a good programmer. I have worked hard to get where I am and that shows perseverance. Although, where I am right now is not what I expected, I am somewhere. I can do something. I have good intentions.
Someday, I will build software which will be used by millions of people around the interwebs. And they will love me, for I will have made their lives better....in some way. Some will even consider paying me for it. Not because the well placed and non intrusive donate button I put there, but out of pure adoration and bare necessity to preserve someone as brilliant and precious as me. I shall be the definition of success. But I long for neither adoration nor wealth, for I am humble or at least that is how I will be perceived.
Like flies to the honey my success will attract big evil corporations to acquire my business. And I shall spit on their wretched face....at first. I would like to be wooed. Such display of integrity shall inspire generations of programmers. Let ye be inspired. There will be those who envy my achievements and they will be mocked and shunned by my true believers. But being the kind soul that I am, I will bring back my minions, for it could a PR nightmare.
All these events will take place in a not too distant future. Sure, I am going through a dark time now, it will pass. 'tis nothing but me transitioning from a lame ass PHP coder moth to this totally badass software engineer who is also a cool bro. This eclipse of my brain shall pass. My neurons will fire in all directions like photons from the sun during late winter, for it may overheat and we definitely don't want that.
I pray to the gods of engineering to grant my wishes. Trust me guys, you will be thanking yourselves when donate my money to charities that will help me set up. But that's another scheme. Amen.4 -
Looking for next book to read:
*Googled "Mythical Man Moth"
*Realized that it auto corrected to "Mythical Man-Month"
Ever since I heard of the book I pondered what the hell the title could mean, thinking about analogies of devs to moths...
I've never felt so stupid and disappointed at the same time.1 -
In the beginning, computers used relays on a macro scale instead of micro electronics
In the 40's admiral grace hopper found a moth in one of the relays and the term "debugging" was born
1 -
Me: I will not care about others anymore.
Also me: Converting print screen to JPG, removing EXIF data and compressing it in TinyPNG before sending to friends.2 -
I've just bought a new table, I think that's the best thing anyone without a proper table can do.
25 € and solid wood, I hope it lasts forever.8 -
I've running Mac for one month and one week now. Now, every time I'm going to use it my thought is: I JUST WANTED A NORMAL NOTEBOOK RUNNING LINUX I DON'T WANT TO USE THIS SHIT.6
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My friend asked me to set up his git for him
$ git config --global alias.co status
$ git config --global alias.br checkout
$ git config --global alias.ci status
$ git config --global alias.st commit3 -
Today I heard from a fellow worker: "Why this lot of conflict in this branch, the conflict that I have at home is enough".1
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Why Evil Corp did not have its servers on a cloud provider?
(This question is about any big corporation with a whole bunch of servers. I quoted Evil Corp because the question came thinking about it.)16 -
Did we already have a Weekly Group Rant for how many lines there are in the biggest file in the project you are working on?5
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Sometimes your day is going really nice, and you just had a nice cup of tea with the milk from the best cow on the farm. You're coding happy, and you will take a walk after that. Then, suddenly, you type `git checkout .` rather than `git reset HEAD .` and your life is miserable now.9
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I've just finished installing Ubuntu Unity 22.04 on a new SSD installed on my wife's computer; it's so relaxing the fresh air of a new Linux distribution installed.3
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There is a time in every programmer's life that the only thing to be done is to take a deep breath and reboot the server.
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So i had two jobinterviews at a company and i was basically through for a test. It just so happens that the person who should give the test is sick for a couple of weeks. So instead they asked me to send them some code to evaluate.
Today i got an email telling me that the level of my code doesn’t match my years of experience so the process stops here.
Somehow i can’t help myself but to wish that the guy who evaluated my code now just is sick for at least
another moth!
Funfact: in one of the interviews i was told that they don’t work with junior people. I personally think everyones view on jobtitle/rank is different so i’m not a big fan of it in any case.
However this company LITERALLY has a blog describing how they hired someone without any working experience and thus being a junior.
Guess i’ll be stuck in my current deadend job for a while.1 -
The days were going fine, the projects were going good. I was a happy man, until I decided to F**** use F**cking moth****er VISUAL F*ing STUDIO to do my computer vision projects, F*k*ing cannot even compile Hello world programme.
F*** you Microsoft f**ing fuc**ERS.
Phew... good to have it out of system. So guys any other suggestions in place of visual studio ?8 -
These days I've been noticing how important is to know how to create a good diagram to convey an idea. Also, working in a big company I noticed that we use UML diagrams for a lot of things, which is very useful to understand the architecture of the system or the design of the code. Does anyone here know some book or article that can help me to learn how to better convey ideas using diagrams, how to make one, and what diagram to use? I am not thinking about something very specific to UML, because I see that sometimes we just do a diagram that makes sense without following any standard.4
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I found this moth in my room a couple of days ago. Every time I go into my room, he greets me. Whenever I code he sits on my shoulder and watches. My server is pulling a close second though.1
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I've just noticed this and now I'm clapping every time I stop my Sinatra application.
```
Stopping ...
== Sinatra has ended his set (crowd applauds)
``` -
Does anyone have a really nice coffee shop in your city that opens in dawn time? I was looking for something like this in my city and I didn't find. Now I don't know if something like this is possible or it is just a dream.6
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I've just discovered https://asciinema.org/.
Does anyone know other cool platform like this?
I was wondering if there is something generic for casts like Rails Casts or Vim Casts.2 -
From my apartment the sound of me typing in the keyboard is so loud. I'm wondering if the neighbors are listening to this and getting crazy with it.2
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"Bugs"
all these...
i got bugs
i got bugs in my room
bugs in my bed
bugs in my ears
their eggs in my head
bugs in my pockets
bugs in my shoes
bugs in the way i feel about you
bugs on my window
trying to get in
they don't go nowhere
waiting, waiting...
bugs on my ceiling
crowded the floor
standing, sitting, kneeling...
a few block the door
and now the question's:
do i kill them?
become their friend?
do i eat them?
raw or well done?
do i trick them?
i don't think they're that dumb
do i join them?
looks like that's the one
i got bugs on my skin
tickle my nausea
i let it happen again
they're always takin' over
i see they surround me, i see...
see them deciding my fate
oh, that which was once...was once up to me...
now it's too late
i got bugs in my room...one on one
that's when i had a chance
i'll just stop now
i'll become naked
and with the...i'll become one -
How can you know my mood? Check my git commands. Am I using `git push -u origin SQUAD-feature-branch --force-with-lease` or `git push -f`?4
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I feel like the world, and my life has been so crazy lately that I needed something reassuring.
```ruby
def test_true_is_true
assert_equal true, true
end
```2 -
I try not to distract myself with more pleasurable things until I've got everything done. For example, I don't watch YouTube between my tasks, don't keep checking my cellphone every time, play chess, etc.4
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Sometimes I don't do a proper review because I don't want to seem very nitpicking. However, now I have to maintain the code that was merged and it has some stuff which is not correct. Now I have to fix it.1
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