The Devs decided!
Behold my new name:
@IamGay6969
What...
No...
THIS CANT BE!
NOOOOOO!

What kind of supercomputer you have to use to get these fucking websites to work smoothly????

I'm on a fucking gigabit connection, ryzen 7 7700x, 32GB ram, and a fucking nvme, all it takes is opening a fucking recipe site and I'm instantly transported back to the 80s. I swear if i see another 4k asset I'm gonna punch something.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO FUNCTION OVER FORM????

Oh do you want me to disable my addblocker??? How about: you make a site that works you fuck. No i will not fucking subscribe to your brain-dead newsletter why the fuck would I???
And since when are cookies needed for a fucking plaintext site you asshat??? Tracking??? I swear if you could you would generate metadata from my clipped fingernails if it meant you could stick "Big data" next to that zip-bomb you call a website.

I WOULD like to read your article, possibly even watch a couple of ads on my sidebar for you, but noooooo you had to have the stupid fucking google vinegrette or however the fuck they are calling the fucking thing now.

The age of the web sucks the happiness out of life, and despite having all of this processing power, I am jealous of my fathers RSS feeds.

I'm sorry web people, I know it's not your fault, I know designers and management don't give a shit how long a website takes to load. I just wanted to make a fucking omelette.

Noooooo

The cleaning lady

Yeah, I should not be at work this late, but it happenes from time to time..
Anyhow, she still doesn't know where the switches for each light are, so whenever she comes, lights start to flicker on off on off... Yeah, lightshow baby!! //read this in austin powers voice
I fear for people with epilepsy.. Yeah, I get it, push and toggle switches are mixed in pannel, but we do have a schema for each of them..ofc she doesn't use it..

And every goddamn time if I work later than when she leaves, she disturbes me to ask if I will turn off the lights when I leave.. NOoOooo, I will leave them on like an asshole.. :/ I once even wrote on the whiteboard in bigg letters 'yes, I will turn of the lights when I leave' and left it there for some days... coworkers were all puzzled/amused when they saw it.. //I know, shitty attitude on my part too, but I've repeated myself a dozen times already.. + I always turn off lights she actually manages to switch on and leave them like that, even the ones not in my part of office

And when she vacuums..well.. I usually get up and go on a cigarette break to give her space so she can do her job around my desk.. but she insists that I am not in her way and I don't need to leave... Well I prefer not to be proded and poked with the hose, thank you..

So yeah, fun times... O.o especially if working late due to some production fuckups I need to fix ASAP.. :/

!rant I pity anyone who may have overheard my interaction with a gecko that managed to sneak inside my house when I went to get a package on my doorstep last night around midnight

“Hey little guy, let’s try to get you to go back outside, okay? Nonononooo not that way, fella. Down the wall. DOWN. DO NOT CLIMB BACK UP. Okay. Yeah, see, there you go. Good job. OH MY GOD DO NOT DO THAT. Listen, I think you’re fucking cute, okay? BUT IF YOU CHARGE AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU TRIGGER MY FEAR RESPONSE AND YOU MAKE IT REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO KILL YOU. Hooooooly shit, little dude. You were so almost dead. Okay. Okay, yeah, go out the door. Door. Yesssss.”

closes door, only to realize little dude’s tail is still on this side

“OMG LITTLE DUDE, are you okay?!!” opens door, little dude sneaks back inside

“Noooooo you need to go outside. Come on, you know you want to go outside”

Finally managed coax him out the door and confirmed he’d cleared the doorway before closing and locking it.

Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!

Have u ever had the perfect job opportunity and u screwed up? This idiot just did!! 😓😭 It's a 100% remote c# role. I literally had the job, all I needed to to was be patient and wait. But, noooooo I had to go and turn down the offer because it was "taking to long". He was getting the proposal ready and I was growing impatient. It's been almost a month since I started talking to the CTO and we were/are on the same level of understanding. He told me today just hours after I consulted with someone who's a business owner and he helped me write an apology to him. Man do I feel like an idiot. He didn't ask for a resume or references. Just seen my GitHub and a few game I did and let me talk to the lead Dev and I was in. The lead Dev even told me "welcome aboard, can't wait to work with you." AND I still screwed this op up!! Now he's telling me he will talk to the CEO and see what he says cause it maybe out of his hands.😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😓😓😓 What fool I am, eh??? P.S. which makes it even worst is that he reached out to me via LinkedIn without me sending him my resume or applying for any job that had posted.

The design process.

Call me old fashioned - but clean-code/clean-architecture/SOLID is not as important as simplicity and coherence.

I JUST NEED FUNCTION THAT DOES STUFF! But noooooo better overly design EVERYTHING!

!rant
Stephen Hawking's dead, noooooo
His books were half the reason I chose science and technology, damnit, and I've spent quite a while on black holes and his work on them.

You inspired whole generations of people, sir. Thank you. RIP.

:(

Wanted to switch mobile plans because im severely overcharged for 4g. While im at it, i thought lets buy a phone aswell, its cheaper with a new contract and this one is almost 2yro.

Then i had to realize that my carrier (telenor) has 2858 iphones, 99999 smasungs and thats basically it. Fuck me for tryna buy a normal phone i guess. I didnt even have any special requests, like an lg q6 or g5 would have been perfect but noooooo. Fuck you.

Fucking asshats, don't understand difference between people who do what..

Fucking asshat wants me to edit this image to his preference, I'd happily do it if I knew it how to...but noooooo he wants to convince me that I can do it without even knowing what or how to do...

That's like asking a plumber to fix my car...

My current job at the release & deploy mgmt team:

Basically this is the "theoretically sound flow":

* devs shit code and build stuff => if all tests in pipeline are green, it's eligible for promotion
* devs fill in desired version number build inside an excel sheet, we take this version number and deploy said version into a higher environment
* we deploy all the thingies and we just do ONE spec run for the entire environment
* we validate, and then go home

In the real world however:

* devs build shit and the tests are failed/unstable ===> disable test in the pipeline
* devs write down a version umber but since they disabled the tests they realize it's not working because they forgot thing XYZ, and want us to deploy another version of said application after code-freeze deadline
* deployments fail because said developers don't know jack shit about flyway database migrations, they always fail, we have to point them out where they'd go wrong, we even gave them the tooling to use to check such schema's, but they never use it
* a deploy fails, we send feedback, they request a NEW version, with the same bug still in it, because working with git is waaaaay too progressive
* We enable all the tests again (we basically regenerate all the pipeline jobs) And it turns out some devs have manually modified the pipelines, causing the build/deploy process to fail. We urged Mgmt to seal off the jenkins for devs since we're dealing with this fucking nonsense the whole time, but noooooo , devs are "smart persons that are supposed to have sense of responsibility"...yeah FUCK THAT
* Even after new versions received after deadline, the application still ain't green... What happens is basically doing it all over again the next day...

This is basically what happens when you:=
* have nos tandards and rules inr egards to conventions
* have very poor solution-ed work flow processes that have "grown organically"
* have management that is way too permissive in allowing breaking stuff and pleasing other "team leader" asscracks...
* have a very bad user/rights mgmt on LDAP side (which unfortunately we cannot do anything about it, because that is in the ownership of some dinosaur fossil that strangely enough is alive and walks around in here... If you ask/propose solutions that person goes into sulking mode. He (correctly) fears his only reason for existence (LDAP) will be gone if someone dares to touch it...

This is a government agency mind you!

More and more thinking daily that i really don't want to go to office and make a ton of money.
So the only motivation right now is..the money, which i find abhorrent.

And also more stuff, but now that i am writing this down makes me really really sad. I don't want to feel sad, so i stop being sad and feel awesome instead.

My boss ask me to demo some project. I named the demo "fuck", and I knew I could change it. In the evening he came to ma desk and asked for anything in progress. Go to test form and slash witch fuck... noooooo. that was ma last time taking things simple.

I just need to get this out.

NPM is not the worst dependency manager. It is way beyond any word in any language that can describe the most negative thing about it.

I developed nodejs projects. I like JS, it's a great language to work with. But not NODEJS, not NPM.

I can run my app in a F* browser but not once, not a single time that nodejs and npm can run at the first time. I spend way more time to build a working environment with nodejs and npm than to build my own app.

whoever developed these two pieces of crap had brains that filled with mud. And who gave them the courage to even put it out for people to use? JS is such a good language and they have ruined it.

There are so many dependency managers out there couldn't they just take a look at how human beings do things? I mean they have never seen APT or Composer or something else that actually work?

Or they just had so much ego that they had to let other people to feel how difficult their lives are.

I don't care about how you manage the dependency and I shouldn't. You people made these crap with one purpose that chould help others to develop easily but NOOOOOO, we have to spice it up, right? You just have to make it fat and greasy, right? You just have to make it doesn't work. I bet you people just redefined the F* CONSTANT of "How to Develope a System that Doesn't Work".

I don't know if NPM genius have ever did a information collection of their system. I bet most function that has been invoked is "throw error".

The funny thing is on NPM website, they provide Enterprise Solutions.... I would sue them for fraud.

🦆Duck Mondays !
Studying database design at 8 in the morning.
Oh gawddddd noooooo.....

Marketing tech of over 25 years in this company asks this at least 2 - 3 times a year, "to find the percentage, take the small number and divide by the big number right?"

NO. NO. NO. NOOO! NOOOOOO! God dammit. You're a grown man.

I know "windows 10 bad" rants already have been done enough and are kinda redundant at this point.

But it's so frustrating for me when doing event stuff.

like yesterday during a quieter part I wanted to pull a USB thing. I knew I've turned of system sounds at least two times one this machine last year and sureley it didn't turn them on again, that'd be silly ...
"de dung"
shit!

And today I did some stuff and realized somehow the energy settings are at "balanced".
In the past I had went through every neccessary box to go Full Power, checked every neccessary box, but nOOooOo - lets randomly be balanced again. WTF?

And it's not like shit didn' work already - I remember the times when bluetooth actually was intuitive to use and settings didn't randomly change - is that what they think " progress" means?

FUCKING SYSTEMD PIECE OF CRAP.
*Punches a wall or something*

Ugh, newest version of PHP-FPM apparently has a dependency on a Systemd package. The package doesn't change the system's init daemon to systemd, but just the fact that it has that, that more and more stuff is becoming dependent on that crap of a bloated piece of software is driving me crazy.

I hate systemd from the bottom of my soul, not for being a bad piece of software by any means. The systemd environment is quite well fitted together, but for being a monolithic monstrosity that is taking over more and more of the traditionally independent system services.

It would be absolutely good in my book, if it allowed a user or admin to choose which parts of SystemD they are going to install, and so, in the core, it would be a mere init daemon.

But noooooo, systemd has to take over cron, system dns resolver, home and user management and I bet its not the end.

GNU/Linux is becoming GNU/SystemD/Linux...

Once again, due to poor management, I find myself exporting svgs from Figma, saving them as pngs, and importing them into our application... (remember I'm a developer, NOT a designer)

Don't we have a design team who can export the needed assets for a feature?

"Noooooo fullstackclown can do all of that himself! He's an expert!!!"

The fucks are lucky I dabble in digital art as a hobby and even know how to do this stuff...

FML

All I want was to turn on my PC and relax while playing my fav game after an exhausting day... but noooooo!!! Game can't start due to an app hang. Blame win10 for that...

I learned how to use the MacOS and Linux command lines first, so it's been a constant pet peeve of mine that I had to use dir for the purpose of ls on Windows. Today I tried to make ls an alias for dir, but noooooo... Windows uses the doskey command instead. I can't even make alias a macro for doskey either so I'm stuck at least with that shortcut that only Windows uses. #FuckWindows

NOOOOOO

4 really basic questions. Things you can't get through 1st year undergrad without knowing. One was testing you understand references, one testing understanding of inheritance, then exception handling... Then a bit of a tricky one: what happens when you query 2 tables in sql without a join. That took me a second because it's just not something I'm used to doing.

So yeah it's pretty basic stuff. At this point I was used to writing fairly long code snippets and quizzes with lots of gotchas that make the interviewers feel really smart. I think "ok they basically want to make sure I'm not totally useless and they're fine with training me". But noooooo. Being able to answer all that correctly is really impressive. That's never happened before. I'm a fucking prodigy.

So I got the job and I alternate between thinking I'm in Idiocracy and thinking the reception I get is some sort of elaborate joke

Noooooo... all I wanted is to quickly reboot to Ubuntu! Why Windows, why?!?!?! So much time wasted staring at this screen, so many lines of unwritten code...

Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.

The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!

Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally*

There is no fucking holy grail of programming. It's better to use the right tools for each task instead of wasting hours to make the wrong tool do a horrible job. But noooooo. Even since this co-worker got here, he bragged how good Drupal 7 is for everything, and he never even ised it once before! Now we have 2 fucking projects beyond schedule and a new one coming ing, each of which tries to use a fucking CMS as if it was a fucking framework. Fucking idiots who believe setting a couple of options via gui to generate random code means programming. Fucking bosses who believe using 3rd party community modules and hacking around them to have them do different stuff is better than coding what we need. I fucking gave up and started using raw php to be able to finish this fucking project, but my damn co-worker refuses to. He keeps swearing and punching the desk, saying it's our clients' fault for asking stupid features, and if you dare to mention how it may because we're using a cms like it was a framework, he just goes full bigot about Drupal. Bloody Hell, it would have taken lass than 3 weeks in Rails. I could just headbutt a kitten right now.

Twitter is down ...
Noooooo!!!!
Let me rant ... !!!!

How is it possible?
I installed a treeview module. I followed all the documentation and the module is showing. Perfect!

Me: create 3 roots,
Module: all is ok.
Me: 😊create 2 nodes,
Module: everything is fine.
Me: 😁3rd node
Module: ... Kaput. tree displays like the nodes are in random order.

Me: 🤨Check the database, and fix the set.
Module: Aah much better.
Me: 😃Try to change an int.
Module: Noooooo! Big mistake!!!
Me: 🤔Ok, ok, ok, rollback! 😧
Module: still in random situation
Me: 😶 and now what?

Some high quality rendering here, iOS / Twitter - you'd think these bugs would've been caught in alpha or beta, but noooooo...

3D Touch by Apple was one of the most amazing thing ever but as always, Apple managed to make it useless. How? Keep what 3D Touch does same as long press. Stupid!!

Why didn’t Apple keep use of 3D Touch different? Like maybe long press (Haptic touch) for Haptic Touch menu and 3D Touch for quick copy or paste the text. 3D Touch some word instead of selecting and waiting for copy button to come and 3D Touch the textbox to paste. But noooooo they will keep it exactly same as what every other thing does and call it useless and remove it.

THANKS UNITY FOR FUCKING CRASHING ON EVERY STARTUP!!

I have a big problem my Unity Engine Editor crashes on startup with an error never seen in the forum's! GOOD TO HAVE THANKS.... I really needed to work this weekend on my game but noooooo 😑😑😑 if the support can't help me I'm quit Unity and start working with C++ !

"Error: initializing license system"

OH FUCK OFF

NOOOOOO atom is only for mac???