We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“

Ok, rubber ducks are ducking helpful, but I moved to use actual ducks.

If you are currently stuck somewhere where your rubber-mate cannot help out, feel free to ask. I’ll forward.

Thank you fucking FUCK, for letting me chose to run anyway

For the small mistakes 😉

And here we go again.

Found at my university.
I bet it won’t pay anything during the dev phase, and then “fail” and you get nothing.

FFS is pisses me off!
Oh and of cause an nda.

Like "Why is Facebook webpage running so slow" (I think cuz of all the tracking stuff, and they are having trouble on my Linux machine). But I gave it a naive duck-duck and found this brilliant tip to "Reinstall JavaScript" to improve that performance. I'm just so speechless rn... And the cherry on the ice-cream is the link :D

Why the fuck can’t you deselect floors in elevators ?
GOD DUCKING HELL!

Do i need to say something ?

Well, 7th try over half a year.
Spent today like 6hrs... oh man. I’m proud.

My world of devRant just lit up:
Did you know:

1) you get free stickers it a rant hits 30++ (you need to write a mail)
2) they have a YouTube channel with cartoons which are hilarious!!!!! I fucking love the sound effects 😍 since they r based on real rants it’s even better!
Shoutout to the YouTube channel!

Trying to exit a bash script with 'halt'

on a friday afternoon

ran w/ root

on a internal prod-vm

which I did not had the permissions to turn on again

4 all the JavaScript haterslovers:
Check out typescript.

I fell in love with it months ago.
😍

You know that feeling, when you code, compile, run. It just works ?

That’s the moment I get insecure

Finally I got there. Amsterdam duck store. Thank you devranter who showed that here 😍

// TODO:
^
| Look closely, little boy
| This is where the
| madness begins.

!rant

Just had my coworker to notice me, that there is a fire alarm right now.

Man I must say, good Job Sennheiser on Their NC headphones!

!rant
I damn love devs. The humor, the devs easter eggs...

Have you ever wondered what 'git' stands for?
try 'man git' ;)

Thanks fucking FUCK the second.
Why is this still happening

Am I the only one being a better debugger when I’m drunk ?

My last day before vacation, Friday after hours,
Me as a Junior dev, not that experienced with bash.
An unfortunately with root on a prod machine.
I wrote a script and wanted it to stop at a specific point, but couldn’t remember which of those cmd it was so I wrote all of them.
Quit
Close
Stop
Halt
Exit

Ran the script.
Wanted to kill myself.
I haven’t had the privs to turn on the VM again.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🤦🏽‍♂️
I definitely learned a lot!

College: „man, the project works in chrome but doesn’t in IE“

Me: „so, what is your problem ? The app works as designed“

WHEN will people understand, that FUCKING SHOUTING IN THEIR PHONES in public transportation will NOT
NOT
NOT transmit their FUCKING voice faster, or louder or more clearly or FUCKING ANYTHING.

Just asked something on stackoverflow.
Has been 15min already. And still no downvote and no comment saying “fuck off”

Today is a good day.
🙃

Sorry for wrong tag. This ain’t a rant. I was just thinking “so? -> rant”

Now stuff gets offensive !

Fucking first rant here:

So we tried to teach Two new colleagues to typescript and git and testing and stuff and we have a SPOC “which claimed to be very technical”. The SPOC’s task is to keep an eye on the work, and today we have had a review...

After two weeks, the created multiple branches into our git, all with one commit of 400 LOC changed, no merge requestet, issue in Redmine set to “closed”.
Well, by the way they were supposed to write Unit tests for our app.
But I thought, ok, we’ll check their branches.

Their tests all passed (cz) but man, the app didn’t and on compilation there were errors, the app is broken. Damn.

Is it really so far off, that even of They wrote tests, that the app should still work?
AND I THOUGHT IT IS COMMON SENSE. Damn!
Guess how needs to fix it

New AD account.
cannot login.
Want to create a ticket.
Need a login to create ticket.
*genius*

Go to coworkers machine.
Open ticket there.
They respond, the user must create the ticket himself.

Ffs!

Le Mail: bla bla \n \n Sent from ...
Le me: I DONT DUCKING CARE!

WHO fucking thought that anyone‘d care ?

Cause heaps of YouTube tutorials are crap nowadays, I’d like to collect your favorites here. And when you are in need look up good channels here.

I’ll start with mine:
Jacob Sorber (C / Unix)
Creel (general low level stuff)
The Cherno (C++)

Once in a while I need somebody to talk to

yet another Microsoft bashing rant...

I'm trying to get `Visual Studio`
You use your Windows 10 VM, use Edge, use Bing and search for `Visual Studio`.
First fucking result:
A Visual Studio alternative - A powerful C & C++ IDE - CLion
-- from jetbrains.com

Like... WTF, you not even promoting your' own stuff ?

But then for when you search 'firefox' w/ bing+edge a thick fat banner: 'Promoted by Microsoft': There's no need to download a new web browser.\n MS recommends Edge for fast ...

I am pulling my hair out on ducking low level stuff. This is why people (more importantly me!) should have the chance to learn, rather than assume how things work.

Has anyone of you detailed resources on how linking objects into shared libraries really works ? Especially Name Resolution. All those ducking tutorials and bloody blog post just have simple examples and explain shit not in detail!

Even ducking man pages on gcc/ld don’t help me out! Maybe I’m too dumb to type the right words into me search engine. I’d even love to read a bloody paper book.

Maybe I should’ve gotten a smaller 1.

Anyway maybe just using it hood-up half-zipped.
Thanks to @idontgiveaduck for showing me da swag shop

compile with gcc, ./a.out: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"

compile with clang, ./a.out: runs and fails.

compile with cc, ./a.out: Alternated between "Error: Too many arguments" and "Segmentation fault"...

ffs I'm done for the week I guess.
The problem is not that it fails, the problem is that it alternates because of time of compilation, power consumption, random blody oracles or the phase of the moon in a leap year on a Friday the 13th. God.Please.Send.~Nudes~. Help.

So, apparently at our fare the ducks are not used correctly...
Somehow, they didn’t unterstand when I tried to explain how to use ducks properly...

This is by far the most creative way so look for a job. It happens, when you install core-js. It prints out a job-search at the console.

Your dairy produce is safe with us!

What’s your worst pickup lines for devs?

How about this:
When my dick gets hard, it gets as hard as NP hard.

What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”

It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.

You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?

$ pkill zoom

Me 2 cents on python:

Cheers on python for enforcing indentation for the sake of readability.

Fuck devs for writing a fucking function in one line or 200char.

Also fuck type less one liners even more.

Tip: Write `throw new Error("problem: <your task for next Monday, and your last thoughts about that>") at the end of your test-file.
Then you come back to work after the weekend and know exactly where you left off!

Thank me later, as I thank my Friday-4pm-me

!rant, story

Wonder if I’m alone on this:
I have habits.
Always use the same cup, with very same amount of coffee grounds. Same four presses with the same fingers on the coffee machine.
Same way I place the cups in my desk. Same way I carry my notebook, same way I dry my hands. Same exact spot I place my card on the rfid reader. Use same elevator, same locker. God.
You name it, I do it on my own particular way.

Thing is, that I think about it. I do it consciously. I am just happier if things stay the way they are. It not just muscle memory thing.

Not judging here, just wonder if there’s people who can relate as much 🧐

Needed texts to call-duty with the gist of the incident. Implemented, works.

PM wants to also ring the phone, cause text may not wake them up.

Me, telling him, that his tools don’t allow me to call him. However, I said, I could send the text as a fax msg, which would end up “ringing” mr call-duties phone, and then fax-Morse-beep the msg to him.

PM was ok w/ that.

What do you guys do, if you don’t know which keywords to google for your particular problem ?

Wish me luck, I tried to ask on Stackowerflow.
If I’m not responding later, send help!

Need advice with buying a notebook.
I fell in love with the Lenovo X1 Carbon.
It comes with a FHD display, WQHD and a 4K OLED.

I thought about getting the 4K OLED to safe battery since I’m dev and everything is dark anyway.

However, the internet says, that using 4K, drains the battery quickly and for long battery life one should get the FHD.

So I wonder, which one has more impact: 4times the pixels or pixels just barley illuminated...
Maybe someone has experiences with that :)

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.

K.
1. Uni wants me to use Java.
2. I don't like Java, because everything that I am used to, is different.
3. I look up easy things online on shitty websites...
4. C'm on journaldev... Where 's da cookiebanner?

Fuck. I just realized:
In English,
this is a semicolon “;”? Which has half as many dots as the [full]colon “:”

#mind
#blown

I’m just lazy af, so I spend hours to let something else do the actual work.
That’s why grandpa created farming devices, that’s why I use software to my life easier.

It worked once, I liked it, I continued.

Wtf ? Chrome console telling me, the request failed with code 304.

304? chrome ? Rly ?

I will stop use CTRL-C CTRL-V from now on. Or any kind of copy paste.

I will either type the stuff or write some loop around it.

C’n’P just gave me tooooooo many errors
-.-

So I’ve asked my Unis infrastructure guys via mail, why we don’t use the digital id with our phone additional to our RFID Badge.

One of those (maybe a moron, I don’t judge yet, see question below) replies, that they would need to replace all readers “as current ones rely on RFID scanning chips” and they are not sure how US Unis implemented it.

Thing is, that when I hold my iPhone SE 2020 next to the reader, my phone shows my credit card to use for Apple Pay.
Doesn’t that mean, that they use compatible RFID frequencies ?
I’m not an iOS dev, so maybe someone can help me out. Any info appreciated!

Which Keyboard are you using?

I want to get a mechanical Keyboard, because I think I'd be faster typing with it. Especially because I use a lot of Keyboard-Shortcuts, my current one often 'hangs' and keys get stuck.

Especially I'm interested in the color of MX switches, if it matters..

WHO FUCKING USES VIM ENCRYPTION?
Fucking
:X
Is now mapped to
:x

!rant
To embrace the TIFO (today I found out)
$git rebase -i <hash>^

You can reorder commits and squash.
I just used it, to amend a commit that was not HEAD with some changes I’ve done later.

FUCK YOU GOLANG FOR LOGGING IN DUCKING BLOODY RED.

well... Fuck you ackermann and your damn interesting function!

Spent three hours searching for an error in rasoning but well... Who'd have guessed...

FUCK! I need to get my stuff done... Fuck!