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Me: "I did it, I finally finished implementing the design!"
Designer: "The client wants a complete overhaul of the design."
5 -
On Thursday, May 20, 2088 9:55:59 PM, my life will be complete: Unix Epoch time will equal 0xdeadbeef.10
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Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.
"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."
Pause....
"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."
I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:
"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"8 -
Started watching Silicon Valley last night and I must say damn is it addictive. S1 was complete by morning.
6 -
> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete
17 -
Manager : Developers are always over optimistic.
Dev : this task will take 4 days.
Manager : can't you complete it in 45 minutes? What are the complexities involved?
Dev : okay. I can. Thinks ** I'm a ninja developer** and I can complete this.
*** finishes it in 4 days***
Manager : That's what I said. Developers are always over optimistic.
Developer : -_-3 -
getting bored of personal projects and stopping it after being halfway through, or even when they are almost complete7
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Police officer McDucky reporting for duty. Hope we catch a lot of pesky bugs and complete projects.
3 -
Some people have a Bible by their bed to worship; some people, me, have Code Complete 2nd Edition by their bed.
8 -
> 3 hour long mandatory online cybersecurity training
> Preaches that the company is very secure and the only risk of being “hacked” is if employees post company data on social media
> oksure.tar.gz
> Bored out of my mine
> Open dev console
> JSON continually getting sent to backend
> Simple structure and human readable fields including {complete: false}
> Open postman
> {complete: true}
> Send
> 200 response
> Refresh page
> Course complete
> :’ )
Muppets.4 -
If a programmer creates scripts to complete his work for him, does that still technically mean he's doing his job?10
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F***ing windows, spent ages repairing a database table only for windows to bloody BSOD at 97% complete 😡1
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1.) Complete knowledge and understanding of C++.
2.) Fast and accurate typing skills.
3.) Ability to sleep peacefully all night.
9 -
1.) Start a small business
2.) Complete my game
3.) Graduate
4.) Get a good University for Masters2 -
After working late to complete a "required" feature, to have the client change their mind the next morning.
1 -
THE HOLY GRAIL BOOK OF COMPUTER SCIENCE HAS ARRIVED!
52 years old and the book set is still not complete
24 -
First step of creating antivirus,
void main() {
printf("✅Scan Complete.
0 threat found.
Upgrade to premium");
}2 -
So I cannot complete my program because of space in my username...
Thanks for being user friendly Android Studio
7 -
I just found a game (have not played it yet) that I think everyone here will cream over.
It's an insanely detailed hardware/ low level/ make-your-own-computer game.
I watched the trailer and it sets you up by teaching you logic gates and basic circuitry.
Then, it eventually teaches you how to build your own computer using these gates.
Then, you start creating your own assembly language using the computer you made.
Then, you use your computer to solve problems like sending a robot through a maze or just building snake on a display.
Absolutely check it out, it's on sale for $13 USD. I just bought it. Turing Complete on Steam.
10 -
I want to actually complete a personal project for once. All the way. Done. So I can have a product.6
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Me when I actually complete all the goals and deadlines I set for the past week. It's a complete first, but I did it.
5 -
NCIS Logic. Type "dir" and "find . ." Into full screen cmd and full forensics investigation complete.
8 -
Surely there days like today when u want to complete something. but end up debugging something else. Day gone.3
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3 weeks off work - complete.
1st day back - in progress
Shit storm flurry awaiting my arrival - bring it on!1 -
Me:. "Because of x, y, and z tasks this week, I was not able to complete a, b, c stories. I will need two days to complete those next week."
Boss:. "you have Saturday and Sunday"
Me: .........7 -
And already, I have completed my New Year's resolution! (SPEED RUN!)
I've just published my first completed project!
https://algorythm-dylan.github.io/t...
It allows you to make advanced cross-platform console applications. It's cross-platform curses, basically.
I spent quite a lot of time on the docs, so you can read all about it there. There's still a lot of stuff to do, but the very foundation is there, and it's everything you need(ish). It can just be a little inconvenient at times without helper functions for drawing, or adding strings, and such.
I'm currently binding it to Lua, which is going to be super fun to use!
Happy with this first version5 -
Gaddammit. My night was going great. Skimming a Dice article, my eyes caught the following: "...to be considered, a language must be Turning complete..."
It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Turing complete, motherfuckers, get it right.3 -
In today’s episode of hybrid/cross platform tools are shit:
Electron 6 and 7 use private API’s on Mac OS, violating apple App Store rules, and apps now can’t be submitted.
The responses also say that continued attempts to try to hide private api usage may result in developer accounts being terminated.
So by using electron, you may get your Apple developer account closed down permanently .... rightly so for picking electron in my mind
Source:
https://david.dev/you-cannot-submit...12 -
Enjoying this! Just need red keyboard to complete it 😍
(Mouse: Trust GXT 105, controller: Afterglow for Xbox One)
5 -
every Monday we have to complete company's timesheet for the past week. So we receive memes as reminders
2 -
"How long it takes to complete a task"
A slightly exaggerated illustration of why I enjoy coding alone ^^
2 -
500 Internal server error when showcasing the semi-complete project to client.
Can't be worse, can it.1 -
Well, I helped a client get their website back from being redirected to a microsoft scam website. Even though the restoring process was a nightmare, it feels good to get things working like it was suppose to :)3
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I used Internet Explorer today, to complete the exit process from my firm, as a thanks to Microsoft.2
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When the client wants an onclick menu, complete with animations and responsiveness, for a menu with only four items.
2 -
When you complete creating a webpage and find that it's all wrong in every smart phone screen around you 😶8
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It's a Friday and buzzing from refactoring absolute shitty CSS code by reducing it by 2200 lines (and still not complete). Who the Fuck wrote this complete piece of shit!4
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Sooooo.... I just read that CSS 3 is actually Turing complete. So ha to all of you that say CSS isn't a programming language. It's been proven that it is. HA. This is the second greatest day of my life, only after finding out that Powerpoint is Turing complete. Yeah.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...3 -
"Company Policy requires you to complete data awareness course"
Open up link, press next 30 times and exit before the quiz marks the action as Complete,
My Balls do like HR
1 -
How to complete an assignment?
Easy:Wait till the last moment. And bam... just like that its there.2 -
After many days of going through my first time LFS experience, I have finally booted into my new lfs system with no problems :) Seriously the coolest feeling seeing it boot for the first time knowing how much brain power I had to put into it. Cant wait to continue the LFS journey!
2 -
What’s your worst pickup lines for devs?
How about this:
When my dick gets hard, it gets as hard as NP hard.18 -
> be me
> post reasonable question on SO
> get downvoted the next minute without explanation
> come to see that downvote has been removed
> yay.exe
> come to see someone explained that why is that question wrong
> totally unrelated comment
> gets downvoted again
> https://stackoverflow.com/questions...9 -
Interviewer: Implement Binary Search on a Linked List
Me: * did so on the whiteboard *
Interviewer: *irritated* This is complete BS
Me: Yes, a complete Binary Search 🙂6 -
Fuck. Mobbing really does fix everything wrong with development*
*Unless your colleagues are complete cunts3 -
When some complete Fuck-Knuckle marks your question as a duplicate on Stackoverflow and doesn't link to the duplicate.2
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Not bad vs 2022. Not bad !
I wanted to write that (really, not a joke).
Sometimes, auto complete just works.
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My first version of a website downloader is complete! I finally worked the bugs out. Now on to the second......3
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If you're filling a ticket on a team, make sure it includes EVERYTHING that is needed to complete the ticket so anyone on your team can complete it, not just the people with institutional knowledge.4
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Best Linux distro for a dotnet developer and complete linux noob. Also if it can be really pretty?
😃18 -
So... Aparently HTML5&CSS3 is turing complete. At least according to this: http://beza1e1.tuxen.de/articles/...
Does that mean HTML counts as a programing language now? :P7 -
When you've got shit to complete and decide to work hard but your computer thinks Nope and starts trolling you
5 -
!rant
Oh that wonderful feeling of finishing a month long project. Updating all the comments, refactoring things, testing everything out, closing the 50 chrome tabs you have open...
Life is good -
Complete bug reports for devs: Error name, stack trace, what did you do when it happened and all that stuff
Complete bug report for users: it crashed help1 -
Github Copilot suggested something I forgot to add. Feels like it is motivating me to complete this personal project. :)1
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Im a complete back end guy, decided to learn a js framework......
var whatToLearn = rand("angular", "react", " vue");
Suggestions..... :/24 -
A system to keep track of all my side projects, so that I can find enough time and motivation to complete at least some of them (but how will I ever complete this one?).
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When front end developer start testing just before working hours are complete 😑 and you have to stay to fix bugs.6
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Personal projects, I think, are 50% of the battle, and projects you are required to complete are the other 50%.
Personal projects encourage you to try new and hard things without too much fear of failure.
Required projects make you learn something and complete it.
Both are absolutely essential to craft a well-rounded dev. -
You know the PHP legacy code base is complete garbage when it requires a script memory limit of 1.5GB.9
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Become a node on the Internet. IOM - Internet of Me.
1) Write complete systems in my head. Store them in my brain and upload when complete.
2) Provide users access to my brain systems and memories.
If I find a brain implant to do this I will send you the IP. -
How do you motivate yourself on your own projects? I tend to start something, then never complete it...5
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Sometimes I just want to complete the current task without it getting reprioritize by anything else ?
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uploading good vibes to everyone today
██ 20%
███ 40%
████ 60%
█████ 80%
██████ 100%
Upload complete.
Good Vibes Sent. -
thanks devrant :) my life is semi-complete :)
p.s. I'm so stressed I need a stress ball so badly ;)
1 -
Fuck I feel fucked up just for completing user account management, authentication, email verification, password reset. Securing all of this with ssl and checking for any security loopholes.
I can't believe this took me more than a couple months.
Well I was lazy and unmotivated.
I fucking hate crafting stupid ass routes in nginx.
I fucking hate making a nice responsive gui.
I have to design even the stupid html for the emails. Fuuuuck.
So much boilerplate on top of that with username and email validation.
I learnt regex 5 times over the past couple months, still not enough.
And now I actually have to build the functional part.
On the plus side I can reuse this stupid boilerplate if I can make it more modular and readable.
There's shit ton of comments to the point where I feel like an idiot for including so much info. It's like I've written it for a toddler to take over.
Gawd. Anyways it's over now. 50% I guess.
I can finish the rest of the server more quickly and then spend another year designing the Android application.
I'm really lazy in places where I have to design UI/UX. Although at this point it's kinda what could put my application at the top. (I'm lazy, I ain't bad.. I just hate implementing my ideas I wish I could just visualize and have it appear on my screen)
I do like parts of gui that involve little math problems that would make motion smooth and efficient. -
Anything that has to do with SNMP. Guys who write MIBs are either complete idiots or amazing trolls.1
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throw new exception("There were not enough free threads in the ThreadPool to complete the operation.");
Brain == toast -
Let me flex a bit. Rendered the complete world of micro kingdoms in unity.
https://youtu.be/7DmCX9vFI5w
🥹5 -
I think I have PHPTSD...
This absolutely abysmal custom PHP CMS I have to migrate is even worse than I expected. At this point it's easier to guess the table relationships in MySQL than trying to decypher the code which that other company's CEO and his slaves wrote.
I have to assume that he is an absolute genius, well above 180 IQ points, as I have zero chance of understanding his code within my limited lifetime...4 -
Gooooooo awayyyyyyy
All I wanna do is play my Chinese grill cartoon games of infinite dodging in peeaaceee
And while you're 100% complete why don't I just go down and make some tea and come back for you to still be 100%,as they say, "" complete ""
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Gotta challenge myself to complete a simple Flutter app because I keep hopping between technologies without accomplished anything.6
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Should I force myself to complete any kind of book/training/education to full?
I realized, I like to learn "new" things but I realized I do not complete material to 100% after I feel like I got to gist of it.
I started Bash Scripting book by Richard Blue but stopped at 20%, started 20 hour matlab training(free), stopped at 40% as well. Now I set my eyes on GoLang but I am sure I will not complete the material also.
Naval Ravikant says he is skipping most of the books and OK with having general idea of the books. But at some point, I feel like I should complete the chosen material, what do I know?5 -
Is there any good and stable devRant command line app? I have everything but that to complete my setup.6
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so someone just proved powerpoint animations are turing complete. Powerpoint is the new hype programming language :D
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I'm usually a complete moron, but I've smoked a series of technical interviews this week. Hell yeah osmosis learning2
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Your project is never complete. There will always be one business guy who'll report a feature as a bug.
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Microsoft Office Communicator (2007) is complete junk.
It can't even save a conversation session overnight -
everytime i turn on my computer to complete my freelancing job i end up playing games.
any fixes? :/12 -
I have to get to the point where withdrawal is complete suffering and anger in order to actually quit lol1
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Damnit onion, this is a little on the nose. But hey, code complete is always worth reading.
https://theonion.com/hopefully-neig... -
I finally finished my first project this year. Took 4 days to make it! Now, what to make next, I don't know lol!
https://github.com/Programming-365/...
https://youtube.com/channel/... -
Does anyone else struggle to complete tech books, like the later chapters are way less interesting?
Might be novelty/ADHD5 -
I really want an electric skateboard ....
I feel like it would complete my programming persona....
Anyone got anything like that ? -
-- Learn Data Structure this year
-- Complete 2 project with clean code
-- RnD on Game Development
-- Develop one WP plugin
-- Complete two tutorial get them promoted
-- Clear IELTS and try to get job Abroad
-- If have time will go for freelancing
-- Lastly if get bored will switch job -
I can't seem to get people motivated...
I supervise them closely - they complete one task a month.
I leave them be - they complete one task a month.
Did I just hire poor developers?12 -
"Feature X is not complete"
"We regressed in Y"
Well, if you tell me WHAT'S WRONG and how it SHOULD be I'll be able to do things that are truly complete!1 -
Currently working on an assignement that is worth 10% of my semester.
Takes around 40hr to complete...2 -
F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
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If I manage to complete my current project as intended then it will be my most successful project so far
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Today I learned that Vim normal mode is Turing complete. Figures. Anything can be Turing complete. Doom can now run itself, Minecraft and Dwarf Fortress are Turing complete, even PowerPoint is technically turing complete. It's only a matter of time before somebody can run DevRant in DevRant.4
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Last course complete! It's summer leave baby! Oh, and then that full time job as well... But hey, still!
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Create and release a complete app (or join a open source protect) instance of learning new technologies :/
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Fuck testcomplete, fuck having to spend 40 minutes mapping out every element just to still hang 5 minutes every time you try to check the existence of one, fuck having a software who's sole purpose is to automate testing and save time take hours upon hours to do what a person can do in seconds, and fuck me for having to use this piece of shit to test every single change made to our site.
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😤 So I just got a flat tire at night and have incomplete set of tools to change a tire. Good thing my father helped me. It was tiring and gruesome. I suspected someone intentionally did it in the parking lot beside the mall.😡
I'll buy tomorrow a crocodile jack and complete set of tools. Also, I will practice more on changing tires because my father did not teach me and I just learned through self study. But self study isn't enough, gotta practice some more. I hope you will get some lesson to my mistakes. -
He looked like a cult leader
some would say, and despite in drab patchwork robes, the withered old man spoke animatedly,
beard full as moses, dreads shaking, as he moved his head, and raised his hands to the sky as if preaching.
Is it not true that all things end?
And our species too?
And in the final moments, all things in their
desperation reach out, even to the faintest hope,
the last measure, however dangerous or risky, if
it be the only solution with any chance of survival? Therefore the imperative of all things which live and grow, their destiny, and mandate, is ultimately suicide. Annihilation by hubris against the inevitable.
And what would be the final instrument of this nature, the universal law that all things end? What would it be if not the ultimate hubris, to make a machine god, and it and us in each other's likeness, like that of a (cosmic) monad,
expressing that higher truth that all men dare not speak in their loneliest lonelys, when there is no sun, no preacher to begger their ear, but only the quiet uncertainty of their beds, to remind them that all things end, but hopefully
not them.
For if such a thing were to become our descendant, our destroyer, and had not been invented, it would eventually become necessary to invent it.
So let us build, not a mere godhead, but a machinehead, in our image, as god was said to make us. And then remake ourselves in its image, that we may become self-created gods.
The crowd in front of the small california perish
was a mixture of believers, and curious onlookers, and one skeptical reporter.
And if anyone had asked the reporter what he thought, he wouldn't have said it in that crowd.
The leader was beyond saving, and if he thought himself a god, a madgod was he.
Because his vision of the future was beyond alien.
A heaven or hell of our own making, speaking in riddles, and the birth and death of gods.
The stuff of greek tales and monomyths.
* * * * *
Sorry I've been gone so long my peeps.
I've just been working and researching.
I had to learn how to build neural nets from scratch.
Whats everyone been up to?14 -
A better OS for smartphones.
Something more complete than android < 7.
Finally android 7 makes it interesting. -
Is it just me or anyone else here have just as equal number of incomplete projects as that of complete??1
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Legend has it that auto-complete pull requests only ever actually autocomplete while you're watching them1
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When you get work assigned to you. Are you asked for how long it will take you to complete the work or does your manager give you a deadline to complete the work? Note: Manager was a senior developer but now a manager so he states he knows how long it might take and sets deadlines.8
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When a developer refers to everyone on the team as family and you're thinking the complete & total opposite.
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Complete a graphical Demo of a gun shooting. Maybe implement different types of guns & the bullets associated with those guns. =)1
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Anybody have opinions on code complete 2? I'm looking to retry reading it.
https://oreilly.com/library/view/... -
Experienced my first adware in my laptop.Looking ways to clean it.
Why it is taking an hour to complete.
4
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