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First we were called "rockstar" developers.
Then HR started using "heroes".
Then "tigers" and some confused associates who didn't get the memo used various other big cats.
Now they're starting to call us "product warriors".
🤦♂️36 -
I just released a tiny game for iPhone!
It's basically an attempt to mix 'Heroes of Might & Magic' and mtg.
In the screenshot my terminal says 'helloworld.cpp'. That's right, this is my first c++ program and I don't care how crappy you think this game is, I'm super proud of myself!
I've always worked in data science where managers assume I know how to code because there's text on my screen and I can query and wrangle data, but I actually didn't know what a class was until like 3 years into my job.
Making this game was my attempt to really evolve myself away from just statistics / data transforms into actual programming. It took me forever but I'm really happy I did it
It was brutal at first using C++ instead of R/Python that data science people usually use, but now I start to wonder why it isn't more popular. Everything is so insanely fast. You really get a better idea of what your computer is actually doing instead of just standing on engineers' shoulders. It's great.
After the game was 90% finished (LOL) I started using Swift and Spritekit to get the visuals on the screen and working on iPhone. That was less fun. I didn't understand how to use xCode at all or how to keep writing tests, so I stopped doing TDD because I was '90% done anyway' and 'surely I'll figure out how to do basic debugging'. I'll know better next time...
22 -
Sometimes, just sometimes, GitHub has its heroes. Probably saved me over an hour of my life. Thank you kind stranger!!
7 -
Dad?.. what is a super hero?
- it's an hero amongst heroes. oftentimes ordinary heroes inherit traits from super.
It's basic inheritance, son. -
A principle software engineer told me the only reason to unit test was to reduce QA headcount.
He’s a hero. Heroes get promoted here.8 -
Alright, I'm getting tired of reading job applications that have roles described as:
"Seeking unicorn"
"Seeking heroes"
"Seeking alien"
What the fuck.16 -
To all the developers fighting for a good architecture, and the designers fighting for good UX. You guys are the real heroes fighting the eternal fight.
Here's to you!
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I'm attacking all the guys who run arch and think they are heroes. Just a load of noobs following online guides who want a cookie for their cv or water cooler street cred. Just fo.7
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So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:
We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.
You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.
Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))
I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))
If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.
Remember, not all heroes wear capes!
... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??7 -
People using windows are true heroes
With so much troubles in their life they are still adding one more :)5 -
Have a t-shirt saying "Sysadmin - Because even developers need heroes" fellow co-worker said "that's not precise enough" I am looking forward to what he will come up with5
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There are a couple of them to list! But to sum my main ones(biggest personal heroes):
John McCarthy, one of the founding fathers of Artificial Intelligence and accredited with coining such term(sometimes before 1960 if memory serves right), a mathematical prodigy, the man based the original model of the Lisp programming language in lambda calculus. Many modern concepts that we have in programming where implemented in one way or another from his systems back in the day, and as a data analyst and ML nut.....well I am a big fan.
Herb Sutter: C++ programmer extraordinaire. I appreciate him more for his lectures and published articles than anything else. Incredibly smart and down to earth and manages to make C++ less intimidating while still approaching it with respect.
Rich Hickey: The mastermind behind Clojure, the Lisp dialect for the JVM. Rich is really talented and his lectures behind his motivations and reasons behind everything he does with Clojure are fascinating to see.
Ryan Dahl: Awww shit y'all know how it is. The man changed web development both in the backend and the frontend for good. The concept of people writing their own servers to run their pages was not new, but the Node JS runtime environment made it more widely available to people by means of a simple to use language that was already popular with web developers. I would venture to say that Ryan's amazing contributions to JS made the language better, as it stands, the language continues to evolve and new features that make it overall better keep being added. He is currently building Deno, which would be a runtime environment for TypeScript, in Rust.
Anders Hejlsberg: This dude was everywhere man....the original author of Turbo Pascal and the lead of Delphi back in the day. These RAD tools paved the way for what would be a revolution in the computing world. The dude is also the lead architect and designer of the C# programming language as well as TypeScript.
This fucker is everywhere and I love it.
Yukihiro "Matz" Matsumoto: Matsumoto san is the creator of the Ruby programming language. Not only am I a die hard fan of Ruby, but of the core philosophies that the man keeps as the core of his language design: Make the developer happy, principle of least surprise. Also I follow: minswan which is a term made by the Ruby community that states Mats is nice so we are nice. <---- because being cool to others is better than being a passive aggressive cunt.
Steve Wozniak: I feel as if the man does not get enough recognition...the man designed the Apple || computer which (regardless of how much most of y'all bitch and whine) paved the way for modern micro computers. Dude is also accredited with designing one of the first programmable universal remotes(which momma said was shitty) but he did none the less.
Alan Kay: Developed Smalltalk and the original OOP way of doing things. Smalltalk as a concept is really fucking interesting. If you guys ever get the chance, play with Pharo, which is a modern Smalltalk. The thing is really interesting and the overall idea of Smalltalk can be grasped in very little time. It sucks because the software scales beautifully in terms of project building, the idea of hoisting a program as its own runtime environment and ide by preserving state through images is just mind blowing to me. Makes file based programs feel....well....quaint.
Those are some of the biggest dudes for me. I know that the list is large, but I wanted to give credit to the people that inspired me the most. Honorary mention goes to other language creators and engineers of course, but it would be way too large to list!9 -
2021 was really rough, saw friends going over the deep end with burnout, significant incidents to handle and a shitty manager to deal with.
It wasn't about blood and tears, it was about commuting 4 hours/day mid-pandemic to be present in the office and respond to an incident whilst having to deal with a bunch of heroes thinking they were part of a CSI: Cyber episode.
All of that just to be said that my raise "would be enough to keep me from looking elsewhere" as my manager said they were very happy with my performance.
This week I found out exactly how much this appreciation is worth: 2%. And I should consider myself lucky with this number as my performance wasn't good enough to grant me any raise whatsoever.
feelsreallybad.png4 -
Ah, developers, the unsung heroes of caffeine-fueled coding marathons and keyboard clacking symphonies! These mystical beings have a way of turning coffee and pizza into lines of code that somehow make the world go 'round.
Have you ever seen a developer in their natural habitat? They huddle in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by monitors glowing like magic crystals. Their battle cries of "It works on my machine!" echo through the corridors, as they summon the mighty powers of Stack Overflow and Google to conquer bugs and errors.
And let's talk about the coffee addiction – it's like they believe caffeine is the elixir of code immortality. The way they guard their mugs, you'd think it's the Holy Grail. In fact, a developer without coffee is like a computer without RAM – it just doesn't function properly.
But don't let their nerdy exteriors fool you. Deep down, they're dreamers. They dream of a world where every line of code is bug-free and every user is happy. A world where the boss understands what "just one more line of code" really means.
Speaking of bosses, developers have a unique ability to turn simple requests into complex projects. "Can you make a small tweak?" the boss asks innocently. And the developer replies, "Sure, it's just a minor change," while mentally calculating the time it'll take and the potential for scope creep.
Let's not forget their passion for acronyms. TLA (Three-Letter Acronym) is their second language. API, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL... it's like they're playing a never-ending game of Scrabble with abbreviations.
And documentation? Well, that's their arch-nemesis. It's as if writing clear instructions is harder than debugging quantum mechanics. "The code is self-explanatory," they claim, leaving everyone else scratching their heads.
In the end, developers are a quirky bunch, but we love them for it. Their quirks and peculiarities are what make them the creative, brilliant minds that power our digital world. So here's to developers, the masters of logic and the wizards of the virtual realm!13 -
garbage collectors' lifestyle matters!
Ever eyeballed the abyss of your memory leaks? Shit, garbage collectors deserve a raise.
Unsung heroes, janitorialing thru that VM like a dung beetle, silently fucking up your perf so you can do that delicious spaghetti. Indiana-jonesing the fuck out of that memory trash can and euthanizing all that disgusting heap of pointers hanging, dangling, like... well, like garbage.
At the very least they're deterministic, unlike that Markov chain we all had the displeasure of fucking up. Amen? Amen! 🙌🏻
You gotta wonder, though, what goes through their nuggin. Do they reminisce about the potential of that half-ass-written class? Do they weep for the elegance of a forgotten function bottlenecking their job? Nah, probably just counting down the nanoseconds till their next full GC cycle. Aaah, like cold beer in Saturday barbecue.
So next time your program miraculously avoids a memory error, take a moment, put your hands up in the air and say a prayer to your garbage collector.
Silently covering for your fuckups2 -
This is the third part of my ongoing series "The Ballad of the Six Witchers and the Undocumented Java Tool".
In this part, we have the massive Battle of Sparks and Storms.
The first part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The second part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5054467/...
Over the last couple sprints and then some, The Witcher Who Writes and the Butchers of Jarfile had studied the decompiled guts of the Undocumented Java Beast and finally derived (most of) the process by which the data was transformed. They even built a model to replicate the results in small scale.
But when such process was presented to the Priests of Accounting at the Temple of Cash-Flow, chaos ensued.
This cannot be! - cried the priests - You must be wrong!
Wrong, the Witchers were not. In every single test case the Priests of Accounting threw at the Witchers, their model predicted perfectly what would be registered by the Undocumented Java Tool at the very end.
It was not the Witchers. The process was corrupted at its essence.
The Witchers reconvened at their fortress of Sprint. In the dark room of Standup, the leader of their order, wise beyond his years (and there were plenty of those), in a deep and solemn voice, there declared:
"Guys, we must not fuck this up." (actual quote)
For the leader of the witchers had just returned from a war council at the capitol of the province. There, heading a table boarding the Archpriest of Accounting, the Augur of Economics, the Marketing Spymaster and Admiral of the Fleet, was the Ciefoh Seat himself.
They had heard rumors about the Order of the Witchers' battles and operations. They wanted to know more.
It was quiet that night in the flat and cloudy plains of Cluster of Sparks and Storms. The Ciefoh Seat had ordered the thunder to stay silent, so that the forces of whole cluster would be available for the Witchers.
The cluster had solid ground for Hive and Parquet turf, and extended from the Connection River to farther than the horizon.
The Witcher Who Writes, seated high atop his war-elephant, looked at the massive battle formations behind.
The frontline were all war-elephants of Hadoop, their mahouts the Witchers themselves.
For the right flank, the Red Port of Redis had sent their best connectors - currency conversions would happen by the hundreds, instantly and always updated.
The left flank had the first and second army of Coroutine Jugglers, trained by the Witchers. Their swift catapults would be able to move data to and from the JIRA cities. No data point will be left behind.
At the center were thousands of Sparks mounting their RDD warhorses. Organized in formations designed by the Witchers and the Priestesses of Accounting, those armoured and strong units were native to this cloudy landscape. This was their home, and they were ready to defend it.
For the enemy could be seen in the horizon.
There were terabytes of data crossing the Stony Event Bridge. Hundreds of millions of datapoints, eager to flood the memory of every system and devour the processing time of every node on sight.
For the Ciefoh Seat, in his fury about the wrong calculations of the processes of the past, had ruled that the Witchers would not simply reshape the data from now on.
The Witchers were to process the entire historical ledger of transactions. And be done before the end of the month.
The metrics rumbled under the weight of terabytes of data crossing the Event Bridge. With fire in their eyes, the war-elephants in the frontline advanced.
Hundreds of data points would be impaled by their tusks and trampled by their feet, pressed into the parquet and hive grounds. But hundreds more would take their place. There were too many data points for the Hadoop war-elephants alone.
But the dawn will come.
When the night seemed darker, the Witchers heard a thunder, and the skies turned red. The Sparks were on the move.
Riding into the parquet and hive turf, impaling scores of data points with their long SIMD lances and chopping data off with their Scala swords, the Sparks burned through the enemy like fire.
The second line of the sparks would pick data off to be sent by the Coroutine Jugglers to JIRA. That would provoke even more data to cross the Event Bridge, but the third line of Sparks were ready for it - those data would be pierced by the rounds provided by the Red Port of Redis, and sent back to JIRA - for good.
They fought for six days and six nights, taking turns so that the battles would not stop. And then, silence. The day was won, all the data crushed into hive and parquet.
Short-lived was the relief. The Witchers knew that the enemy in combat is but a shadow of the troubles that approach. Politics and greed and grudge are all next in line. Are the Witchers heroes or marauders? The aftermath is to come, and I will keep you posted.4 -
There should be an appreciation day for the core founders of computer programming.. They are Heroes2
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For those that play Dota 2. I went looking at the Lore of some heroes and decided to search the names of a few, and by searching "Slark" - instead of a hero, I found an artist. Even the heroes be hustling in their spare time👌
2 -
I want a tool called "bogo-npm" which creates a VM and then installs random versions of npm and dependencies in a cycle until the build is successful. It'll probably be the biggest optimization that dogshit ecosystem has ever seen.
I'd just let it run over night and save myself the urges to strangle every single fucking developer who added dozens of dependencies to a stupid near-static website.
And the creator of the abomination called `npm uninstall` which for some fucking reason does the same as `npm install` and then obviously fails because that's the reason I wanted to remove that package in the first place.
We need more heroes like that leftpad dude.3 -
Gotta love having developer friends you can trust to help you out when stuck, this goes to all you unsung heroes!
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I know a few fascinating people. They didn't invent anything historical, they didn't start a revolution, they didn't even get their names on a newspaper. They are just very very smart. And they use their intelligence to improve the world. Each have their own companies or projects, which don't do anything magical but they work really well. And these are nice people. People who have a lot of friends, and whom their kids look up to, not because they're heroes but because they're so bright and kind that those capable of self-reflection feel inferior in their company. But most importantly, I appreciate these people because, while being conscious, intelligent and aware of civilization's problems as well as their own, they are still satisfied and sometimes even happy.1
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Just shielded my laptop and his from this coworker's coffee. Not all heroes wear capes but sure its not very pleasant to be a walking espresso so FUCK EVERYBODY1
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The irony that goes along with smooth migrations on production is this.
If the migration is smooth, no one knows how much effort, careful planning and execution went into the whole process. They just get a for your information mail that everything went smooth. No one, not involved in the process would know the scale of things; or what could've happened if the transition/migration was screwed up.
On the other hand if there are problems during the process and the tech team fights back, they indeed are the heroes. No one notices the silent crusaders.
No wonder then that all superheroes just smash stuff. Its only then that people notice that they worked so hard. Silent superheroes remain dead. -
No matter if you understand all the medical terms, you need to read this. It is amazing.
http://epmonthly.com/article/... -
Developing IoT prototype, from Linux platform, via Java servers to front-end web-ui has made me fear and praise all these JS developers.
On one hand they are the heroes of modern technology, on the other hand they are bat shit crazy sadomasochistic lunatics riding their frameworks through a sea of users complains and runtime errors1 -
Pink Floyd:
Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
Led Zeppelin:
Mommy mommy MOMMY MOMMY BABE BABE BABE BABY BABY BABY MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA BABY YEEEEEEEAAA MY LOVE MY LOVE MAMA MAMA BABY BABY -
OK, we all hate Gates, Elon or LTT for some reason. All heroes in my eyes. Ok, I do cringe at some LTT stuff, especially when about Linux.
I've read a book about Gates (Very bad one), about Elon and Jobs. So, I think I investigated well.
But there, a list from people we all hate for some reason. Question is, who's your tech hero?
For me, it's Robert Nystrom. But being a dictator of own project like Torvalds is my dream13 -
I begin to develop the irresistible urge to break open everything I see and reassemble them, be it software or hardware.1
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The year is 1999/2000 and my parents bought my brother a PC. Pentium processor, 128MB of RAM and a Sony Trinitron monitor. Sweet machine. Used to play Delta force, Heroes on it. My brother played Civ 2/3, Heroes 3 etc. Lovely times, no worries, no stress, the only pain was the champagne.
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The first colleague who was happy to talk FOR HOURS about topics seen as small/irrelevant/would you stop you annoy me/gtfo.
Some heroes don't wear caps! -
TL;DR As time goes by, I'm feel deeply in love with linux. An infatuation? :D
Before, I really dont mind how the file system works, permission setup, library installation, etc. as long I finished my project (before like 90% of the time I copy paste cmds). But now, after many hair pulling while debugging times, crying while rolling on the floor moments, and painful production deployments (wtf! it's working on my machine/dev server rants), it helps me clearly realized how amazing it is. I might be relatively new with the OS compare to others so maybe what I feel like now is like having a crush on someone in a bus :). But still, I just wanted to say thank you to all who are giving their time in developing/improving linux distros - you are heroes!
I'm hoping that I can contribute something soon :)
senti_mode off1 -
why every time hero wins in the movies or series? why not villains ? imagining the after story where no heroes are there.. it's amazing 🌚12
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Do you guys listen to any programming podcasts which do not just center around one particular programming language? Any podcasts regarding topics like universal programming concepts, history of programming etc. At the moment I'm listening to Command Line Heroes (from RedHat) but I have almost listened to every episode and need new stuff :)
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kudos for the tech-staff of the digital congress ot-world.connect for explaining how things work to all the non-tech speakers over and over again.
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Gunstar Heroes, Streets of Rage 2, Street Fighter 2. It totally blew my child mind to the point of no return.
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power of coffee! never dissatisfies!!! It's like healers for developers as in overwatch2 stating solemnly"Heroes never die"!!!
2
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