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Search - "malformed"
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Programmer one-line horror stories? A few off the top of my head:
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
'Undefined' is not a function
Unit test failed: expected '0' but got '-1'
Connection to 'localhost:8080' has been lost
Malformed JSON string at col: 46,372. Expected '}'7 -
PM: Your code bombs! It’s supposed to put a link to the schedule here!
2 minutes earlier:
PM: *runs code with malformed data and two cancelled schedules*2 -
"Your XML is malformed by these strange tags CDATA. I've cleaned it up ;)"
Fuckity Fuck my boy, now the whole website is down. All hail the magic push to prod button.
(there were snippets of user provided HTML that was passed over XML by a microservice)6 -
I see too many back-end rants against front-ends.
Should we talk about table layouts, malformed html, programatically generated spaghetti wrong markup, css absurd class naming, infinite div wrapping (div-itis), awful usability, poor legibility, terrible typography, wrong color palettes and user-unfriedly design? To name a few horrors i've seen so far.
Some people won't admit that their contempt against HTML and CSS being 'not real code' actually hides their inability or unwillingness to learn it. Or they need the feeling of superiority.11 -
YAY.... fuck you Belkin!
Just found out my router is vulnerable to CVE-2017-14491.
For all you not following these issues, this one allows the attacker to intercept connections and perform a traffic hijack, or execute arbitrary code with unrestricted privileges as well as access all important and private data stored on the device aka: the devices login/password, the Wi-Fi passwords, and configuration data just by sending malformed DNS packets to the device.
Now this is all well and good, except Belkin haven't released firmware since 2013, which is strange... seeing how the damn thing was "NEW" out of the box in 2016.
Last time i buy a fucking router from these lousy assholes. -
I just signed up to get this off my chest.
Dear Windows, you god damn moronic, ugly, unuseable abomination of an excuse for an OS. I wonder how we could end up here in this situation. You suck, in every way imaginable. I didnt choose Linux or Mac, you made me do it.
I know no other OS that can screw you up this bad when setting up. My friend is an experienced windows user and the last install took him 2 days. I just spend the last day trying to get this uncompatible sucker installed. I manage to set up an hackintosh quicker than I was able to install Windows the last three times I checked, you scumbag.
Your error messages suck ass, there is nothing I cant figure out given enough time, except your useless hints and pathetic attemps to get anything done on your own.
And you are fucking slow. Just why, do you keep installing stuff I didnt ask you to. Now I got this ugly ass Bing-Toolbar because I missed a damn checkbox in an .exe, which could have also been an exploit, you never know.
You are cluttered with useless stuff. I dont care about you lame ass app store, idc about your cortana annoying spy assistant and I certainly dont care about your forced updates.
Just sit back and feel your PC getting slower every day by background processes. Watch your productivity decline while dealing with their brain dead privilege and file system.
You ugly malformed mutation of software. When I look at your UI I feel disgust while wondering how you can fail with the most basic principles of UX.
How pathetic, badly supported, bug ridden and dangerously unsecure can an OS be you ask while trying to navigate through the settings, a pile of legacy software debt this garbage pile was build on. And your shell... what a sick joke.
I hate you Windows. For screwing other OS with your asshole boot manager, hardware driver requirements and making people send me .zip and .docx. You should be embarrassed to charge money for this unfunctional junk, but you do, a lot.
I really try to see the positive here. You got all the software, but thats not on you, thats because all those poor suckers are trapped with you and the effort to change is too big.
This OS is the most disappointing thing technology could come up with today. I would rather set myself on fire than work with this pain in the ass software professionally. I mean if you are a serious developer at some point you have to admit that you just cant develop on windows. You will get fucked 5 times as often as any Mac or Linux user. Fuck you, Windows.
Hey Microsoft, thanks for Typescript and VSCode and all the other good things you have done. But burn in hell for what you have done to all of us with this piece of shit OS.10 -
I applied for a google step internship today. My cv is pretty good (people say). University transcript is a malformed csv and I am forced to provide a screenshot. Wish me luck.3
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PHP arrays.
The built-in array is also an hashmap. Actually, it's always a hashmap, but you can append to it without specifying indexes and PHP will use consecutive integers. Its performance characteristics? Who knows. Oh, and only strings, ints and null are valid keys.
What's the iteration order for arrays if you use them as hashmaps (string keys)? Well, they have their internal order. So it's actually an ordered hashmap that's being called an array. And you can produce an array which has only integer keys starting with 0, but with non-sequential internal (iteration) order.
This array weirdness has some non-trivial implications. `json_encode` (serializes argument to JSON) assumes an array corresponds to a JSON array if its keys are consecutive integers in increasing order starting with 0, otherwise the array becomes a JSON object. `array_filter` (filters arrays/hashmaps using callback predicate) preserves keys, so it will punch holes in the int key sequence if non-last items are removed, thus turning arrays into hashmaps and changing your JSON structure if you forget to discard keys before serialization.
You may wonder how JSON deserialization works, then? There's a special class for deserialized JSON objects, `stdClass`. It's basically a hashmap too, but it's an object, not an array, and all functions that would normally accept arrays won't work with it. So basically its only use is JSON (de)serialization. You can even cast arrays to objects, producing `stdClass`.
Bonus PHP trivia:
Many functions return nonsensical values. `preg_match`, the regex matching function, returns 1 for success, 0 for no matches and false for malformed regular expression. PHP supports exceptions, so it could just throw one on errors. It would even make more sense to return true, false and null for these three cases. But no, 1, 0 and false. And actual matches are returned by output arg.
`array_walk_recursive`, a function supposed to recursively apply callback to each element of an array. That's what docs say. It actually applies it to leafs only. It will also silently accept object instead of array and "walk" it, but without recursing into deeper objects.
Runtime type enforcing is supported for function arguments and returned values. You can use scalar types, classes, array, null and a few special keywords. There's also a `mixed` keyword, which is used in docs and means "anything". It's syntactically valid, the parser will accept it, but it matches no values in runtime. Calling such function will always cause a runtime error.
Strings can be indexed with negative integers. Arrays can't.
ReflectionClass::newInstanceWithoutConstructor: "Creates a new class instance without invoking the constructor". This one needs no commentary.
`array_map` is pretty self-explanatory if you call it with a callback and an array. Or if you provide more arrays of equal length via varargs, callback will be called with more arguments, one from each array. Makes sense so far. Now, you can also call `array_map` with null instead of callback. In that case it treats provided arrays as rows of a matrix and returns that matrix, transposed.5 -
Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.
I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.
They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".
I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.
Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.5 -
I once reviewed some code that parsed HTML using regex (red flag #1), and it turns out that it had to be done that way because the company's HTML was so malformed that no actual parser would accept it without erroring1
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What the sh*t is this kind of response?! One of my corporate department's internal API returns THIS.
LOOK AT IT. LOOK. "NULL". What are those malformed closing / ending brackets?!
(request headers have accept: application/json btw)
And, as a final "f*uck you", the "IPG_API_JOBD_NC_RESP_P_COLL" is returned as JSON object if response has one element to return, but will be JSON ARRAY if result has more than one element.
Good luck, you there with strongly typed languages..... Boils my blood 😅4 -
Seriously, why can't youtube devs get their crappy code together!! Got a BSoD after watching a certain YT video.... I think its outputting malformed video data that causes MS Edge to crash the whole system....
And this started happening after Creators Update....18 -
Headhunter called about a rejection for an assignment I did:
Assignment had malformed data examples
Assignment had unrealistic timespan for completion
Assignment used item stocks for a shop setup
Assignment didn't use any prices just item stocks
Who builds a webshop without prices in the first place?
So done with this job hunting assessment bullshit.3 -
Can we all just agree to stop actively imagining progressively harder to parse CSV formatting options? For fucks sake I’ve had to build in tolerance for quoted and unquoted data, combined data and split data, ways to split the data and recombine it, compare every data point, filter some data, only add data, only remove data, base data updates on non Boolean fields in the file, set end point matching based on arbitrary fields, column number matching, header matching, manipulate malformed urls and reassemble the file with proper ones, it goes the fuck on. CSV’s should just be simple and not hard to format. Why does everyone want to try so fucking hard to do bizarro shit?!
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I’M COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
by Mike Lacher, https://mcsweeneys.net/articles/...3 -
Even seniors make mistakes. In case you were ever doubting yourself - just remember that.
I just had a very senior level programmer on my staff add a function to a production system that issues an SQL UPDATE query without a WHERE clause. Fortunately, only the 1st entry succeeded and the rest failed due to "duplicate record" errors. Clearly he had intended to do a SELECT to check if an entry was present. If it was present, do an UPDATE, otherwise do an INSERT (think UPSERT - but done manually). However instead in the insert part they were both UPDATE's. The first update was normal looking but the second UPDATE was just this weird malformed-looking thing where he tried to do an UPDATE but to every field including the key fields. Clearly he was thinking about an insert but actually writing it as an update. Every now and then I need to remind myself that these things happen. The guy's not dumb - just made a mistake.
I'm just happy it "failed unsuccessfully".4 -
No matter how many years experience you have, a part of your job will always be copy and pasting malformed client data in to a useable format.1
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Thanks openssh for responding to a malformed key, not by telling me it's malformed, but instead by asking for a passphrase on a key with no passphrase. That only cost me two hours of my life. :P1
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One of the complaints about some games is heavily reliant on RNG. This can lead to a lot of wasted time trying to get a drop or structure. Maybe this can be solved to some degree through weighted RNG. This is done in slot machines in Vegas. The machine has to pay out over so much interaction. It doesn't have to act this way exclusively. If we look at biology the RNG for offspring is weighted by fitness. If anything is malformed it usually dies.
So time weighting, iteration weighting, some kind of fitness weighting (prevent shit drops). What are some other kinds of weighting we could use?12 -
Dah. Have to integrate with a legacy, crappy, SOAP service with malformed WSDL and bugger all documentation.
SOAP should just be damn well illegal these days.3 -
It's so annoying to set up a vm and oracle DB. Just when you think that you are done with recreating a schema from schema dump, four packages won't compile. And of course they are wrapped and it's the most generic malformed or corrupted wrapper unit error...
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tried debugging a malformed add:apt puppet module for hours, does not work, used exec instead, it works.
(facepalm) -
Me, taking a coding class in uni:
Purposely cramping everything in as few lines as possible, making the code barely readable, just to screw with the guy who had to correct this mess.
In my defence, the assignment they gave us was garbage. The task descriptions were often ambiguous or even contradictory to what actually was the case ("The InputStream will contain a string of csv data, each element starts in the next line" -> was a malformed single line string) and the automated tests they wrote to check our output where either completely unhelpful because of their meaningless error messages, or sometimes even plain wrong, telling us our output was wrong, even though it definitely wasn't. -
Started working on a library to allow manipulation of bit sets. It will read in bits in 1 to 8 bit packets and tack them onto a structure that is represented by sequential bits. It will include ways to interpret the bits in 1 to 8 bits per mapping. Each mapping will be able to do logical operations on the bits. The whole point is to be able to take a stream of possibly malformed bits and try and make sense of them.
The inspiration for this is this sequence:
http://therendleshamforestincident.com/...
Yes, it is possible this data is utter bullshit, but I want the library all the same. I think it will be a fun one to write and use for digital forensics of arbitrary data.1 -
damn sorry devs , i know you ppl are here for relaxation , but please help me out.
i am creating a browser and wanna have an edittext which works something like this :
>>user enters 'fb' , there should be a google search for fb(i.e load the string "https://www.google.com/search?q=fb")
>> user enters fb.com , webview should open it directly (i.e load the string "https://www.fb.com" )
>> some nerdy user enters http://www.fb.com or https://www.fb.com , it should load that
I know the function to make it load, what i don't know is how to modify that string to show such behaviors .
The webview is dumb enough to not behave like tht by default. although it feels good having such a raw and tool in hand, but hell, its a fucking google's webview! , why can't they just throw in some built in ways to show their search results by default when user enters a malformed url ?? that would be a great source of branding --__--7 -
Once again, the next build after hitting Ctrl + C while building a project surprised me with `java.lang.IllegalArgumentException: Malformed \uxxxx encoding`.
In which file? Is it so difficult to provide users with helpful information? Your `-X` option still does not show anything.
(Not to mention it must not corrupt ~/.m2/repository on SIGINT).1 -
Normal people when they see the word 'Helo': Helicopter, misspelled "hello", nothing too complicated
Me when I see the word 'Helo': MALFORMED SMTP GREETING; EXPECTED DOMAIN -
This is very annoying. Even more annoying because everything appears to be working great other than this ugly malformed error message: