Dance like noone is watching.
Encrypt like everyone is.
Sudo like you have backups.
Tag like you're a SEO.
Vim like you know how to exit.
Ticket frontend like you're the project manager.
Commit like saying "fuck you" in the message is appropriate.
Alert like you would use console.log
Design like you know CSS.
Comment like you aren't the only dev.
Code like PHP isn't outdated.

And finally:

Try to work like you know how to quit devrant.

Poetry at work!
Thats a good usage of a whiteboard 😁

Poetry from the ravens heart 😂😂

You are the CSS to my HTML,
You make my life so beautiful.

You are the JavaScript to my code,
You make my life to be so dynamic and full of life.

You are the OS in my life,
Without you, am useless

You are the C: to my brain,
Without you am nothing.

You are the stack overflow to my problems,
I run to you for solutions.

To be continued.....

Daily poetry.

function question(){
if(2b || !2b)
{
return(question());
}
}

Dear Programming Languages,

if you only support weakly typed constructs, I wish you a special place in hell.

Dear Fellow Developers,

if you use a language that allows strong typing with weak typing, the next time we will meet after I have to fix a shitty bug due to that I will play piano on your teeth, and a melody you won't like.

And yes, that means PHP as well. PHP allows for strict types since php7.

So. Just. Fucking. Use. It.

There are no excuses!

I don't care if you don't see the benefit or find it "annoying" and tedious to write it out. Use a decent editor and it will be mostly code-completion anyway.

I just don't want to fix your fuckups. And if your fuckup is due to a typing issue that "slipped" by, you are part of the problem.

If you write software, it should be clear what type each and every variable or object has.

There are no excuses but your laziness.

If you want to be ambiguous, try poetry.

Ruby is red
Your code is stunning
But my gradle build is still running!

Dev poetry...

Here’s a few bars for you:

Roses are #FF0000,
Violets are #0000FF.
Why my code’s working
I haven’t got a clue!

so poetic

:(){ :|:& };:

Even though bash isn't my favourite language, the fork bomb in this form is simply poetry.

CSS is easy. Its like riding a bike, which is on Fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because It is hell.

He who fix bugs, runs the risk of becoming a bug himself.

This I call, I'm a human mess.

Roses are (255,0,0)
Violets are (0,0,255)
And I do sure hope,
This packet reaches you

Xpost from /r/sysadmin:
I occasionally see posts from people who seem like they want to spend every waking hour of every waking minute working on home lab stuff and studying for certs.

If you do this, you're missing out on life which you will regret later, but even if you don't care about missing out on life, it actually is hurting your career.

Being well rounded helps you interact with others at work in a number of ways. It makes you less one dimensional as "the computers guy" and it also gives you topics to discuss with people. If you know how to cook, or brew beer, or bake bread you end up using a lot of your technical and troubleshooting skills. Biking long distancing and learning how to fix your bike helps with your troubleshooting skills too. You learn to look at things from other angles.

Reading novels or writing poetry or making art work also helps because it exercises your brain. Woodworking or metal working involve a lot of skills that'd help your IT career including project planning and measuring and budgeting for each project. Working on cars or motorcycles would be similar. You just have to do SOMETHING.

I have a member of my team who literally has nothing going on in his life other than studying for certs. No friends, no hobbies, and he basically eats nothing but McDonalds and frozen dinners because even making a meal takes time away from his studying. He thinks means he's dedicated and will experience great career success.

But instead he has nothing to talk to anyone about, and when I say nothing, I mean literally nothing. It's borderline terrifying. Even if he was into comic books and video games it might help, which might help him relate to SOME of the IT staff even if the rest of the people at the company know nothing about it. But he doesn't even have that.

This isn't a solitary field anymore. Even if you truly are "the best" you still have to interact with other people and stay mentally stable enough to not burn out. Even if you know more than everyone else (or think you do) you have to try to broaden your horizons.

Hiring process is fucking broken ok?
We all do have something else to do, nobody wants to do "homework" for 4 fucking hours. Which let's be real, isn't 4 hours. It's always more. I try to squeeze it in a least amount of time which means mistakes will be made. I always try to show my knowledge of the language and it's features. But, you didn't do X. That's it, that is a no from us.
Dude, I just wrote a high production grade small project with 90%+ test coverage and you are telling me that those 2 small shit I made is a big deal? Fuck off

Most companies I worked with have a code full of shit and here I present to you, with a poetry and it's a no because of X?

My bet is that if I ever started to work there I would find a code that isn't tested and is in shit state

\rant

Fuck you Amazon.
Fuck your two factor authentication.
Fuck your PINs over SMS that take 1 hour to arrive.
Fuck you.

I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.

Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.

I'm talking about things like:
expect(n).to.be(x).and.not(y)

And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.

But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.

You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.

Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.

The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.

This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.

If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.

No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.

But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.

Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.

As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.

When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.

I fucking hate esoteric code.

Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.

This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.

As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.

Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.

Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.

That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".

I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.

It's just the community.

Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.

You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.

Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.

You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!

On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.

And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.

Developers Poetry:
"Bed would be lovely, soft and deep,
but I’ve a deadline I must keep
and much to write before I sleep,
and much to write before I sleep."

I wonder whether this is a bug in Chrome, or if it's just Google drawing the conclusion from my northern geo-position, that we still haven't left the stage of building longships, raiding England and Scotland, burning monasteries and writing awesome poetry and literature in weird characters sets.

Well, I'm not Ragnarr f*cking Loðbrók or Egill Skallagrímsson, so I can't read electronic component data sheets the way those guys did.

I'll go grab my chisel, so I can carve a bug report into a suitably flat stone and shove it down the TCP/IP series of tubes leading to Google.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Coded all night long
Please date me

@OmerFlame wanted to see more of Soviet pirate stuff, so there you go buddy. This is an example of Samizdat (“self-publishing”) — Soviet people made books of dissident literature that was forbidden in the Soviet Union.

This very book was made by my grandma, with lace fabric cover and sheets cut evenly with care and precision. Everything was typed on a typewriter, yes, the thing that renders the whole page useless with one mistype, as there is no backspace key.

This book dated 1975, the poetry of Nikolay Gumilyov.

So, I wanted to find a new way to arrange my language's alphabet. Atm, I'm loosely using latin's system even though my system is weird;

A B K D E F G H I IE SH L M N O P R S T U V

So, I remember that another language (I think Japanese) uses a poem with every letter to figure the order of their letters, so I decided to do the same.

Only problem is: My current word list is very limited, some of the letters I needed only existed in specific words (aka, the word for "Dark") so I ended up making a very depressing poem.

Enjoy! Or not.. I'm not going to tell you what to do.

English translation below. I also will post images of it written in my language's script, as well as one line in my language's cursive script (I'm not doing the whole thing in cursive because fuck that)

Senarseha:

Seh ninfuat seh nem fieta; Seka sato nem fiekm juna jenes sermin.
Seh ninfuat sif nemsin netua niet; Seka sem sedma nemat sargo no
nrokniet sam fiekmin sehim sepra.

Sehim sinta nem nara niv nakliet.

Seh nem sine fieta.

English:

I say I am well; But all is dark before day begins.
I say it isn't too much; But this place is a farm of
preasure that blackens my soul.

My mind is ever in agony.

I am not well.

The worst part of being a dev

My social dilemma

In a fast paced world where the average human spends at least 6 hours a day with technology, deriving basic entertainment, pleasures and engaging in various activities.

Here we are the developers that have to engage with technology for longer hours for a living , having to keep up with deadlines, immersing our minds in complicated algorithms and then the endless possibilities of entertainment from the machine in so few human hours a day , you wonder how you’d get off, and to top it up, I personally work from home.

And then the dilemma of overcoming different suggestions from various parties in taking a break off, a break off to what you later ask yourself, thus creating the shadow of doubt, splitting the fragile programmer’s mind , trying to solve this imaginary puzzle, “this bug of the mind”.

Then the challenge often arises in creating a balance, telling yourself, just catching up with people with this same technology takes a whole day, or then again quitting my Job, but from my little experience of life, nobody likes a poor visitor, this is actually worse than a “bug” and as I bask in this quagmire, “a little voice in my head keeps singing keep doing what you love doing”.

Like an infinite loop of crazy, spiralling back to these machines, trying the find and fix the balance of normalcy. Always remembered the cool years of college tho, with so much people around and then again that was college.

An then the thought arises, maybe something else might be worth doing, but after so much time spent in building your skills and the enormous joy of programming even typing without looking at the keyboard is a real pleasure, and yeah sure the days are short with the reality of a constant need to survive, remain sane, compete and make the best of life in such short time.

Then how do we know if we have fallen off the so-called “social track”, when we have only lived so little to really comprehend the most parts of life? with such constant stream of unanswered question, you’d realise you shouldn’t have burdened the mind creating such questions in the first place

But then again maybe it gets better, one of the above, the disturbed mind or the situation as whole and yes I try oh I try, I place calls, do some visiting, no relationship tho but with a good perspective in mind.

In this race of life, you sometimes ask yourself would you rather be in a different position, or maybe already put exactly where we belong. For this illusionary fight with self is a fight with reality as a whole and true bliss comes from actually letting go as time and people pass you by.

And my greatest achievement to date aside family and my work is getting into the 1000 club on devRant.

Inspired by the previous code poetry

!rant
Just "coded" a poem:

To declare, or not to declare
That's the statement to which ICompare

Lately? Making my trump poetry generator!

When you reach that point, that level -- a coding apex, and the universe has found you. That feeling as you code, where the ideas, the advanced concepts, they flow out of your mind like beautiful and wonderful poetry. And you smile, because all is well, and you have created something beautiful in a world that needs more beauty. Also, it's lunchtime.

Writing code is like writing poetry. You put your soul into it, you create something so beautiful that everyone appreciates it, but no one fully understands it. So comment your fucking code!

PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:

//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();

Code is just like poetry, and some people suck at both! 😅

What is up with @YouAllSuck, most of the stuff he writes, for some reason, is completely incoherent to me, i can't make sense of what he is trying so say most of the times, is he doing poetry or something?

It is the year 2451 ad and mankind rules the galaxy with a lazy iron fist. There are roughly 14,000 civilizations, comprised of just over
17,000 intelligent species on a quarter of a million earth-like
worlds. And all of them call themselves 'the galactic empire'.
No one told them that twenty planets doesn't qualify them for the title "galactic."

Well, we could rule, if we wanted to. Most of its just backwaters that no one wants anyway. It turned out that the reason no one invaded earth before was because they were too busy fighting themselves. Stupidity it appears, is not a unique human quality.That and the sex robots. Theres more of them in the galaxy than actual meatbags. Many species had taken to artificial wombs and 'vatbabies', which is exactly what they are called. Those poor bastards will carry that label for life.

We never did break light speed, but most of the rich exist in hypersleep anyway. Most of them only wake up once a year or so. There are some that only creek out of bed to check their stock portfolio. I hear there is even one trillionaire thats up and about once a century to ask if we have broken light speed yet.

Despite all the progress over the last 400 years, historians all agree about the most significant event in modern history.
The lobster went extinct two hundred years ago on earth.
Theres been riots ever since.

* * *

In other news I'm still working on the game I guess. It's like totally the most okay indie game you'll ever play--if I ever finish it.

I put about a year of work into the NPC system, and then chatGPT came out.

After everything thats happened, at this point I may just make a game about an indie dev making a survival game, being stuck in the actual apocalypse or some weird political dysopia.

Put it on rewind, it was originally a zombie game. But at the time the market got flooded and steam sales for zombie games cratered. So I pivoted to something more along the lines of fallout. Then the flash market crashed, bunch of publishers folded, and adobe stopped support for flash (probably for the best). Then newgrounds, which I was gonna launch on for promotion (because actual marketing is expensive), ended support for flash.
Was going the route of kickstarter, and that year the KS market got flooded and the bar rose almost over night so you needed super high production quality out the gate, and a network of support you already built for months.

We had a brief nuclear war scare, and I watched the articles come out about market saturation for post-apocalypse games, so I pivoted back to zombies. Then covid happened and the entire topic was really fucked. So I went back to fallout meets rimworld. Then we had a flood of games doing that exact premise pretty much out of the fucking blue, so I went for a more single-survivor type game. Then ukraine happened and the threat of nuclear war has been slowly sapping the genre of its steam, on well, steam.
Then I was told to get a cancer screening which I can't afford. Then I broke a tooth and spent a month in agony.

Then a family member died. Then I made no money from the sale of a business I did everything to help get off the ground, then I helped renovate an entire house on short notice and sell it, then I lost two months living in a hotel
while looking for a new place to live. Then I spent two and a half years suffering low-level alcoholism, insomnia, and drifting between jobs.
Then I wrote amazing poetry. And then I rediscovered my love of math. And then I made out for the first time in over a year. And then I rediscovered my love of piano and guitar. And then I fell into severe depression for the last year. Then I made actual discoveries in math. And I learned to love my hobbies again, and jog, and not drink so much, and sing, and go on long drives, and occasional hikes, and talk to people again, and even start designing games and UIs again. And then I learned that doing amazing things without a lot of money is still possible, and then I discovered the sunk cost fallacy, and run on sentences, and how inside me there was a part of me that refused to quit because of circumstances I couldn't control, and then I learned that life goes on even when others lives have ended, even when everything and everyone never had an once of faith in you, and you've become the avatar of the bad luck brian meme..still, life goes on.

And we try to pick up the pieces, try, one more time, because the climb, and the fall, and the getting back up, is all there is.

What I would recommend, if you're thinking of making a game, or becoming an independent game developer, is, unless you have a *lot* of money upfront (think 50-100k saved, minimum, like one years income *bare* minimum), and unless you already have a full decade in the industry--don't make a game.

Just don't.

"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."

I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."

To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.

And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.

Steal this poem.

Roses are red

Boost I need you

You do so much I cannot breath

You fucking need to be hacked around every time I have to compile you for a different compiler or VS version getyourshittogheter fucking hell it makes me hate you

For programmers code is like poetry.

Just because you have no idea what you are doing does not make you an artist.

So can we please treat software development as engineering?

I get that in software there are a lot of unknowns and you won't always find best practices, especially if you want to be a pioneer on the bleeding edge.

Yet maybe that issue you were trying to solve with your hackish -- I mean artfully -- solution is a lack of understanding of the basic technology?

If you want to do art, try poetry.

A sickness a day keeps the job far away

Throw your best toilet poetry at me. I have a small one to start.
I suck, but hey, examples :P

Here i sit
Taking a shit
The cheeks of my butt i spread
I had some very nice garlic bread
My poop is floating, my poop is brown
I watch it suffer, i watch it drown

Code is poetry.

When you accidentally release your inner poet while coding...

not a rant. I like poetry. Am a poemfag.
Be very impressed. VERY IMPRESSED!
Okay, well, just cringe through it at least. Smile and nod. I hope formatting doesn't butcher this.

"A King"
a king came to me one day
and claimed you will be my son!
and fame, and fortune, and all things good
yours your cup to overflow, overrun!

happiness and princesses, acclaim to your name
a life of leisure and of ease
land rich in treasures buried,
and swarthy ships on deep seas!

All these things, of emperors and kings
Will be yours to command! Though I warn
you my fair son, it is not as it seems
a charmed life is not grand

for though the riches of this earth
at your call, at your hand,
should find you at my passing, in your wealth
it is a kings fate to be damned

wealth to grave you can not take
and princesses demanding wives are one to make
and ships in harbor soon they rot
and health in age gives way to ache
and land is lost which once hard fought
truly that is rare the happiness which can be bought!

so upon the kingly head, heavy rests the (golden) crown
and though surrounded by apparent friends
never must he let his guard down

and ease which spoiled by fear of loss
magnified by all he'd gained
weary king, my boy, tis his lot,
to die a thousand times,
but never grow old again,

so heed these words my boy
it is not the wealth, or fame, or ease
that makes a man great my son,
but his words and his deeds!

Sometimes I write code as If it were poetry. Other times I only try to do not exceed 80 characters per line! 😂😂

The earliest high-profile “native ad” I know of happened in 1831, when Alexander Pushkin released “Evgeny Onegin”. This is a very big deal. Russian Empire had huge cultural influence back then, and it was fashionable. Everything coming from it was cool. Sobranie London still has Russian Empire coat of arms as their logo. Also, Pushkin is regarded by many to be the best Russian poet ever, with Evgeny Onegin being his flagship masterpiece.

So, Breguet, the watch company, decided to advertise in this very piece. It went like this (sorry for the lack of rhyme and the overall lameness in my translation, it is hardly possible to translate Russian poetry to English):

Wearing a wide bolivar hat,
Onegin is going to the avenue
He's chilling there until
Breguet that never sleeps
Chimes him that it is time
To go and get something to eat

To put it into a context, it's as if someone bought an ad in Romeo and Juliet.

From now on, if I'm gonna have to deal with emojis fucking everywhere, I opt to use them to best describe the two greatest diseases of the modern age:

Apple and google.

Anytime they make their products worse, or do something stupid the response should be

#shitapple

Or

#💩🍏

This sign, brothers, shall be our banner! our labarum against the forces of the corporacracy and mediocracy. and with it we will go forth and conquer!

Unite against the forces of stupidity. Our weapons will be humiliation, degradation and hobbyist projects like arts and crafts, freestyle poetry aka slander, and casual arson (actually dont do that last one).

There's a lot more poetry on here then I would've expected

I try not to think about the future.
But can not not do it.

Every thing will come together.
Or apart.

Disorder will increase.
Or everything is a lie.

I want more coffee, but I don't.
I want more coffee, but I won't.
I'll get more coffee later.

just found this
// ...A shed load of voodoo is then executed...
// .. removing the need for this would have involved messing around with the existing code which is such a rat's nest that I would rather avoid it

Reading. And not just a couple of genres, I mean as much as possible on as many topics as you can deem interesting. Classical literature, epics, poetry, contemporary criticism, post-modernism, every pretentious piece of work you can get your hands on.

Because the greater your vocabulary and the wider your understanding, the more efficient and proficient you become in learning new things.

Also, it makes you a better writer when you finally find yourself needing to put together some technical documentation for that content management system you whipped together in a fortnight.

Craziest prep for interview :

Step 1 : Given sufficient time for the scheduled interview by any company, start by searching "How to prepare for Google interviews". Awe at the information before you and get all pumped up to jump in.

Step 2 : Starting with Algorithms, study each one and try not to mix any of them in confusion. In case you are stuck in whiteboard coding, close your eyes, take deep breath and visualize Don Kunth. If that doesn't help, well you are ruined anyway.

Step 3: Practice coding without internet connection, till you are able to write code while you talk about how the weather is really great today. Libraries and methods should flow like poetry. SO is sin.

Step 4: The X programming language which you added to your resume because you can write Hello World, head over to Wikipedia and read more about it just in case.

Step 5: Read some xkcd comics so you can impress the interviewer with some humor. You can try Dilbert too.

!dev !tech

it's 2 am, nd just out of curiosity i put on earphones and tried to dance on a romantic couple song . interestingly, my life has been so single and restrictive that I can't even imagine holding hands of someone , nd that feels a bit sad.

after being burdened with the family ethics, relgions, family fights and financial crisis for so long, i feel i have lost a personality that i should have had.

1. i have lost the sense of random naughtiness and unnecessary bravery/arrogance. from what i know, the best way to reach your path is to remain focused on it. unnecessary acts of curiousity or nuisance leads to fights, frauds or worse.
however, people enjoy life by doing unnecessary banter, gossips, nuisance and having fun with unknown things, people and surroundings.
i guess this makes people a likeable/interesting character in social scenarios as me being an alert dog trying to focus on resching the party place, have a safe party and come home at time becomes a less interesting character than the guy entertaining everyone by his stupid talks in the car.

2. i have lost sense of compassion or showing love , expressing love or doing things out of love and not just for transaction.
From what i heard, people in relationship are clumsy to the max level. messages every 5 seconds, random acts of flirting, teasing, playing hard to get, what not.
i ... am simple. if i like someone, they are gonna know in 5 seconds (which is followed by a lifetime of awkwardness, so i have stopped even letting this thing to be known). physically nd financially i have enough resources and plans to be a good person to be with : i can be helpful in situations, am always up for doing anything interesting and have reputable personna. but expressing via those sugary baby talks is not my ☕

3. I haven't gained any passion for anything. i see people having deep thoughts on their passions for poetry, music, dance , guitar, travel, political alignment, causes, or whatnot.
i am not that much passionate towards anything because life doesn't give everyone the chance to choose passions.
i sat with my father in a flea market selling stuff. that wasn't passion, that was a necessity. for me, money>>study>>>anything
i am only passionate about having food on my plate and a roof over my head

-------

so all these things makes jack a boring person. i jave been chasing money so much that i question everyday of its worth it, as it's currently just being used to battle with the financial crisis while having a little bit in savjngs to enjoy life. but am so much worn out by this pressure of earning money that I don't even know how to enjoy life or have someone to enjoy life with , so its even more pointless to increase that limit.

i do try to explore the things i like : dance, singing, traveling, working out but not at the level that those attributes define me

#awkward_loney_life

(I'm not completely sure of what I'm saying here, so don't take this too seriously)

Settling on a language to write the api for ranterix is hard.

I'm finding a lot of things about elixir to be insanely good for a stable api.

But I'm having a lot of gripes with the most important elixir web framework, phoenix.

Take a look at this piece of code from the phoenix docs:

defmodule Hello.Repo.Migrations.CreateUsers do
use Ecto.Migration
def change do
create table(:users) do
add :name, :string
add :email, :string add :bio, :string
add :number_of_pets, :integer
timestamps()
end
end
end

Jesus christ, I hate this shit.

Wtf are create, add and timestamps. Add is somehow valid inside the create, how the fuck is that considered good code? What happens if you call timestamps twice? It's all obscure "trust me, it works" code.

It appears to be written by a child.

js may have a million problems. But one thing I like about CJS (require) or ESM (import) is that there's nothing unexplained. You know where the fuck most things come from.

You default export an eatShit() function on one file and import it from another, and what do you get?
The goddamn actual eatShit function.

require is a function the same way toString is a function and it returns whatever the fuck you had exported in the target file.

Meanwhile some dynamic langs are like "oh, I'll just export only some lang construct that i expect you to specify and put that shit in fucking global of the importing file".

Js is about the fucking freedom. It won't decide for you what things will files export, you can export whatever the fuck you want, strings, functions, classes, objects or even nothing at all, thanks to module.exports object or export statement.

And in js, you can spy on anything external, for example with (...args) => debugger; fnToSpyOn(...args)

You can spoof console.log this way to see what the fuck is calling it (note: monkey patching for debugging = GOOD, for actual programming = DOGSHIT)

To be fair though, that is possible because of being a dynamic lang and elixir is kind of a hybrid typed lang, fair enough.

But here's where i drop the shit.

Phoenix takes it one step further by following the braindead ruby style of code and pretty DSLs.

I fucking hate DSLs, I fucking hate abstraction addiction.

Get this, we're not writing fucking poetry here. We're writing programs for machines for them to execute.

Machines are not humans with emotions or creativity, nor feel.

We need some level of abstraction to save time understanding source code, sure.

But there has to be a balance. Languages can be ergonomic for humans, but they also need to be ergonomic for algorithms and machines.

Some of the people that write "beautiful" "zen" code are the folks that think that everyone who doesn't push the pretty code agenda is a code elitist that doesn't want "normal" people to get into programming.

Programming is hard, man, there's no fucking way around it.

Sometimes operating system or even hardware details bleed into code.

DSLs are one easy way to make code really really easy to understand, but also make it really fucking hard to debug or to lose "programming meaning".

Code is poetry. Sing me a beautiful one if you got.

Code is poetry. Customer support is rap battle

You caps locking, hell knows what trying to compensate, little arrogant person who volunteers in Wordpress plugin review team, - learn some manners how to communicate with fellow human beings.

If you don't have patience for help - quit what you are doing and spend the rest of your life not dealing with people.

At least be professional enough to have email signature, and not look like some teenager wrote us back in a bus stop.

I hope your emails gave you confidence to keep such manners in real life and someone punches you in the face this Friday.

Sick code.
Like jamming it out in C, SQL, Lisp and JavaScript simultaneously

The time when you code,
Or you build a road,
Waiting for file to download...

Debugging like a horse,
Watching every course,

And suddenly the alarm rings,
And your mind dings,

You have to study now.

Snowy days
Lovely to watch,
Hellish to traverse
I will raise my cup to it,
Behind my clear windows,
And my middle finger,
For when I open up the doors,

Atleast the computer doesn't overheat,
Even though it seems I get hot a lot,
Because the buildings are burning up,
The thermostat they crank it up,

Comes the holiday,
I see those familiar faces,
Gathered around the fireplaces,
I wanted a peaceful day,
'till they take my quiet away,
More socks as gifts to give me,
Oh my GO single D

Oh what a wonderful life we lead, when first we code, debug and repeat.

(Before you ask me: it's an original btw)

"Code is poetry"

Lets write some error prone poetry 😷

Imagining all of the disapproving faces of your relatives while you lie in the storm drain, hearing the wails of the other fallen who neglected to account for the crappy economy, wishing you had just typed in those two words that could have saved you from a life of ineptitude caused by procrastination.

"Hello World."

//Basically imagine the worst possible outcome. Ask your parents for helpful suggestions

In Russia, battle rap is huge.

The most viewed battle rap video of all time is Russian "Oxxxymiron vs Slava KPSS" with over 46 million views and one million likes.

As it usually happens in rap, initially the Russian battles was nothing but dick jokes and yo mama puns delivered aggressively, but as the new, intelligent rap culture was brought to life by Oxford graduate Oxxxymiron, Babangida and others, rappers started to see battle rap as a way to express their own ideas and picture of the world.

Today, if you don't know what was the philosophy of Kant and Hegel all about, who is Slavoj Zizek and if you didn't even read Joseph Campbell's "The Hero with a Thousand Faces", they won't call you a retarded loser – they just won't talk to you.

In Russian you can put the words into sentences almost any way you wish, which allows intricate poetry and many additional meanings.

Many see today's Russian battlers as direct descendants of The Golden Age and The Silver Age of Russian poetry. They are just that – more poets than rappers, and they deliver really sophisticated rhyme structures really often.

Despite that, their flow is also solid, with grime, doule-time and even constantly altering flow with the changes performed flawlessly.

Some compact punchlines are so complex that they unfold in a whole new picture as you google trying to understand them. They are virtually untranslatable, requiring a lot of cultural and philosophical context to even scratch a surface.

whenever I read other people's K code (It's poetry)

I don't have a cs degree (my degree is in aerospace engineering). However, I think the question is valid for any degree. The answer depends on the field. When sitting in on interviews over the years, the type of degree for programming jobs never seemed that important if there were experience involved. So, if the job description required 2 yrs exp. in X, then that experience trumped the degree type. If the job was for a junior dev right out of college, then degree type becomes one of the most important factors. So, for that first job, it's important that you've got a degree (any degree) because it shows that you can accomplish that chunk of work. Having a cs degree at that point does provide a distinct advantage over those with medieval romantic french poetry degrees. That's the game, and don't fret if 95% of the material you study in college you never use again. The point of studying it wasn't to use it immediately (go learn a trade if that's your bent), it was to both test you and to expose you to specialties that you might want to do later.

Good poem i read :

“OK” said Fuen, “but why is Hydra howling at the moon.”

“He is just a bit upset at his PC breaking” replied Red.

“Can’t he fix it?” asked Fuen.

“Doesn’t look like it” said Red. “He keeps getting stuck during the trouble shooting.”

“Which bit of trouble shooting?” asked Fuen.

“The last bit” replied Red. “He says his keyboard doesn’t have an ‘any’ key.”

Fuen winced.

Puppet becomes chef when the salt stack so realistic ansible will only play

LinkedIn is like the Instagram for career dudes, what kind of bootlickery is this?!

some post and comments are just cringe

we know he is a great guy or they are a great company, what is all this poetry for?

I am particularly guilty of this, embedding non-constructive comments, code poetry and little jokes into most of my projects (although I usually have enough sense to remove anything directly offensive before releasing the code). Here's one I'm particulary fond of, placed far, far down a poorly-designed 'God Object':

/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/
I'M SORRY!!!! I just couldn't help myself.....!

And another, which I'll admit I haven't actually released into the wild, even though I am very tempted to do so in one of my less intuitive classes:

//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
//

Today I build a box.
With a beautiful lid.
I wanted to put something in my box.
I forgot the case.

My reaction when I tried to put values in an uninitialized list. 😫