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How To Be A Developer
(Easy Method)
(Note: You need an Android device to be a developer)
Step 1: Go to Settings.
Step 2: Click on "About phone".
Step 3: Click on "Build number" 7 times.
Congratulations, you are now a developer!4 -
Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)11 -
Boss: we need to make a website.
Dev: we fired the web dev
Boss: you do it then
Dev: I am a mobile dev
Boss: dont care you are a developer
Tbh he isnt wrong but i just hate web development.12 -
Life of a web developer:
*Birth*
*Create awesome looking websites*
*Make them look bad on clients request*
*Death*2 -
You know you are a senior developer when you go to stackoverflow with only goal to answer questions.5
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Friend: what do you do for living?
Me: I am a developer, software engineer.
Friend: Lucky you! you have a comfortable work, always in your desk.
Me inside: *he doesn't have a clue about developers struggling* *dying inside*6 -
This is my message to that particular developer of Microsoft who made a change in the Win32 API but was too lazy to update the MSDN doc:
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. You wasted 3 days of mine and I had to find your fucking change by looking into the source code.6 -
Every developer dream:
- Cup of coffee
- Laptop
- Fast internet connection.
Really, I am able to not see the light again with this.20 -
Progression in mindset of a developer trough professional life:
1. I'm going to make my code so efficient and beautiful that everyone will envy it!
2. I'm going to make sure I keep separation of concern.
3. I'm going to make my code at least maintainable for other developers.
4. Well shit. At least it works, for now.3 -
Manager : Developers are always over optimistic.
Dev : this task will take 4 days.
Manager : can't you complete it in 45 minutes? What are the complexities involved?
Dev : okay. I can. Thinks ** I'm a ninja developer** and I can complete this.
*** finishes it in 4 days***
Manager : That's what I said. Developers are always over optimistic.
Developer : -_-3 -
Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.10
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Comment your best developer pickup line...
here's mine...
I think you're exceptional, I can try & catch you.24 -
When people call themselves a "professional web developer," but all they do is set up a Wordpress site with a custom skin. Alright then! 🙄6
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Wait... wait....., I'm the sole developer at a company does that make me the Lead Developer and Senior Developer. TIME TO UPDATE THE CV13
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A Geologist and a developer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the developer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Developer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Developer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the Developer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"
The Developer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.
Now, it's the developer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The developer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the developer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the developer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.3 -
It's official I just got a phonecall after my interview/2h test today!
I'm starting my first software developer job on Monday! 🤓🎉
.. so I'm back here finally after a few months as I thought I didn't belong , but now I do, yay ,
🙏🏼4 -
User:
I wish I could build an app like XYZ that is so cool.🥺🥺
XYZ Developer:
I wish I could build an SDK like Agora.io that is so cool.😣😣
Developer at Agora.io:
I wish I could build CDN like Akamai. That is so cool.🤔🤔
Developer at Akamai:
I wish I could have layed Internet as a concept. That is so cool.😢
Conclusion: Don't disparage yourself as a Developer. Sometimes, we should Appreciate what we have build rather than what we wish to build.
Be proud of the Product "X" you are building.
Just look around, you will find a person wishing to build a product like "X".🤗
#developer #motivation #developers #agora #motivation9 -
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But you can guarantee the next developer who comes into the room will want to take it out and replace the bulb and the fixing because the previous developer did a shit job.
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So my friend started this job as a junior software developer at minimum wage and sent me this. You should've figured out what 'ben' means.
13 -
She asked to tell her a joke.
"My life...", said I.
"Error 404, joke not found..." replied she.
She is also a developer.5 -
Hey, thanks for teaching me JavaScript and HTML. I almost feel like a web developer now.
What about the REST?4 -
The time when i learned to turn on the developer options ; i felt the same as a developer who has compiled his code without a single error. 😂
3 -
You Either Die As A Developer, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Tester
P.S. No offence to Testers. It just i hate testers6 -
So normally it takes at least 4 years to become a developer by pursuing a CS or similar degree.
However, today I found out you could just touch the screen 7 times on Android to do the same thing. Go figure...
10 -
Is it only me or does anyone else think that they are a bad developer? Everytime im on devrant i think that i dont know shit.. :(7
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I wish that there was a Developer Options for our brains so that we can enableand disable things like "Hearing: On/Off". 😂12
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Worst part of being a developer: when you suggest a subtle amber shade but your client insists on bright yellow.
3 -
Is there a lot of people in the same boat as me?
I'm a self taught guy. Never in my life had I a senior developer i could bug for answers. Every little bug and inconveniece i have ever experienced - left alone to cope and find solutions. I just feel like sooo burned out. I have some large complex system questions building up and googling doesnt give me the answers anymore. This is frustrating. I'm supposed to be a mid level developer, but I'm acting as a senior to one of my colleagues even though I have so many questions and doubts in my mind. I think I developed a lot of plot holes in my knowledge and I have no real way to know which are which. I feel I dont know so much. Fuck. Where do I go from here?15 -
Application level developer: It's so simple just import that dependency and use that API.
Low level developer : That's cute.2 -
I was MEAN developer and moved to MERN developer.
My thoughts:
Angular very good framework BUT react + redux fucking awesome7 -
person: what type of work do you do?
me: I'm a developer
person: oh, so can fix computers and stuff?
me: you realize that you insult me, right?3 -
Why did you choose to be a developer?
For me: I always liked to know how softwares work, and watch a thing that I created running!12 -
What do you wanna become? / What are you?
1. PHP Developer
2. Python Developer
3. Node.Js Developer
4. JavaScript Developer
5. Java Developer
6. Android Developer
7. Other (please mention in comment)65 -
- Seaches "How to get Google
- Play Developer account"
- Clicks on first link
- Enters details
- Sees Price -$25
- Searches " How to get Google play developer account for free"2 -
Ask a developer to code entire night
Developer:
😏🤓No Problem. I was born to play with fire 😤😎
Ask a developer to complete the associated documentation in next couple of hours
Developer:
😳🤬🤯 Better call the devil to take me to hell 😱🤒🥵6 -
That feeling when a bug has been bugging me for 3 days, I find that little information in API source code and using that I make a fix.
Developer life is so worth it :) -
Copying code from stack overflow doesn't make you a developer. Knowing where to paste that code makes you a developer.2
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Yes I am a developer and I am good at soccer, come on you naive idiot standing in front of me in complete awe, the days where these things were mutually exclusive are long gone! 🤓⚽️7
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Just rememberes a collegue i had for a short period, i was remote and he was on location randomly added, I was told he was a php developer.
What he did was delete ALL the whitespace in the php code and called it optimising, he told the director it’ll make the code run faster. You can imagine how fun that was...2 -
Sometimes I feel like, even thought being a Software Engineer, I know web development better than 70%-80% so called professional "Web Developer"15
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When you your first developer job... Time to find out whether it's imposter syndrome or if I'm just stupid.
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When people think you're addicted to gaming, but you're just really keen on developing that next feature. People just don't understand the underappreciated life of an add-on developer. We're shit on by the game developer, and users alike.
2 -
Conversation between a developer and admin team to change configuration in higher environment.
Dev: Please change these config parameters.
Admin: What is environment url
Dev: 😑. Gives the url
Admin: How to change?
Dev: 😑. Gives all the details
Admin: I am unable to perform as server is slow.
Dev: Whom will you report the slowness of server as you are the admin?😵
Admin shocked developer rocked -
Startup companies be like "we are hiring full stack developer"
Full Stack Developer = the entire IT department 😏3 -
Developer confession:
I've been writing HTML since I was 12 and I still have to google write the damn doctype5 -
Developer proposing a solution to architect-- Workaround😵
Architect asking a developer to use workaround-- Architect Solution 😎2 -
................. "DEVELOPER"...............
Because full-time multitasking ninja is not an actual job title. -
My mom told me to take the spider out instead of killing it..
So i did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.4 -
yeah !!!! i thought nothing can't break the mood of a developer ... but some fucking natural disasters matters..
#keralaFloods9 -
I'm in a company with no senior devs I can look to for mentoring. How do you go about scaling with the company without a developer more senior to guide you during development?
I feel like I'm always second guessing decisions.14 -
When a client tries to sue but then realizes their fight was nullified by the signed contract.
Bird = client
Fox = Developer
5 -
When a gamer is also a developer:
Idiot: What kind of game is that? I only has a crap load of words!
Me: Yeah, it's called Android Studio2 -
3rd week at my first developer job. Did a couple PRs with the help of my mentor. Still feel absolutely useless. I feel like a complete imposter.11
-
Yesterday, I came to Facebook Developer Circle Hackathon and the first idea that comes to my head is "Reduce Facebook, Reduce Suck". it's a Chrome Extension to block your Facebook while you working.2
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It seems almost everyone here is a web or mobile developer of some sort. Am I the only non-student, desktop developer? I occasionally do some backend web stuff, but I just do a lot of desktop stuff (mostly C++)5
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I've just visited F8 event by local Facebook Developer Circle, and I got this from there, actually love this t-shirt and had a great time with other developers. Waiting for I/O and Next extended event by Google Developer groups
1 -
An excerpt from the encyclopedia of "Developer Confessions":
At times, when I have no clue what some code does, I comment it out to see what breaks. Sometimes I just want to see the code burn.3 -
I would like to see a full stack developer version of it.
Found this on 9gag it's fucking hilarious...
-
Being a backend developer, the most difficult job is to write <button class="btn btn-primary">Sign up</button> 😞3
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Back on dev rant, been a while. Been two Jobs later...
Was extremely underpaid at the previous job.
Started a new venture two weeks ago. Long story short this company outsources their developers to other companies. The job I applied for is 'Junior Developer'. JUNIOR DEVELOPER!!!
Yet I'm being outsourced as an 'Intermediate Developer'.
Honestly I like the challenge, but businesses need to treat their employee's properly and not manipulate their young developers so they can get more money for cheap.
Really now, I've been dealing with this everywhere I go and it pisses me off.
On top of that I have no Senior Developer. I am the only developer. The other six, including my boss, are DBA's and don't know C#1 -
I'm not any kind of developer (yet), but I'm learning and this awesome site realy helped me to understand more about this industry from inside and I want to do this even more than before! =D1
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When your website is tested after months of efforts and then tons of bugs come up....
Gonna fix each of it..
Y am such a poor developer.. !!!! 😖😞2 -
I am a developer, but I think that it's very difficult to explain to my mother what it is about my job.
-
Seriously,
when a company asks to recruit a developer, but only female developer for a regular post.
What IS exactly the work to do? 🤔11 -
What's the favourite song of a front-end developer?
...I'm in love with the shape of you. UI UI UI UI.3 -
"I used to be a developer back in the days"
yep ... maybe this is true - but the fact is: I'm the developer and you aren't - do your fucking work and don't bother me with stuff you don't understand ...1 -
Been working on an Android app for a month and finally when it was time to publish I couldn't pay Developer registration fee for God knows what reason. :/
Keep getting
"An unexpected error occurred. Please try again later"
Feeling like shit :/3 -
Finally starting my first job as a Junior Android Developer!
Any tips -for a first timer- you want to share? 😊17 -
If there was an anime Based on developers.
==Start===
Dev : here comes my favorite browser.
Mouse : No, not until I'm here.
Hand : whattttt? What's happening??
Mind : oh NO!! I why's Internet Explorer is loading?!?
Faster Mind : it's mouse, he's behind all this. Only he's powerful enough to pull off something like this.
Time : Developer-san SAVE me!!
IE : it's too late now, if you do anything it will just slow everything down!!! Hahahah
Dev : No it won't, don't ever underestimate a true developer. It's not over yet!!
*Some keyboard key combination
Time : *screams* developerrr-saaaan!!
Hand : wait, I know it, it's happening. We can still save Time-chan.
IE : WHAT!! No, it can't be!!
Dev : here comes Ctrl+Alt+Del. Be gone....
IE : Nooooooooooooo, this isn't happening, Aaaaaa *dead*
Hand : we did it!!!10 -
Please excuse my ignorance but what distinguishes a junior developer from an entry-level developer, in practical terms?
Is it basically that a junior developer has some practical experience where an entry-level developer has very little to none?3 -
I wonder if being a developer was originally thought of as an undesirable position...
"We need to pay people to sit at a computer all day writing code, sometimes skipping meals, getting less sleep and dealing with all our clients shit"2 -
I'm suppose to be a back end developer, yet I still seem to be doing front end all the time. Customer tweaks and requests are the bane of my front end life.
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Life of an Oracle Developer ... Day {I've lost bloody count now}
Task: Optimise a 236 line cursor consisting of 7 SQL SELECTS and unions, 39 joins and nested sub queries galore.
"YAYYY" said no one ever ...3 -
Haven’t written code in months. Is this what it means to be a “senior developer”?
I’m not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse tho. I kind of feel it’s the former 🤣🤣🤣4 -
Is it essential for a developer to steal or copy code from different sources to satisfy their client or it's a common thing????😞2
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So we need a plumber, but first, show me some plumbing that you had do just for fun
-if every job would be like a developer -
Anyone else work at a company where the employees don't know the difference between a developer and a help desk person??3
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What does a job as a Software Developer Feels like ?
( I was wondering what tasks are exactly needed to be done when you're finally employed as a Software Developer proficient in one or more programming languages. )
Have a Nice day ;)3 -
As a developer, when learning a new language how do you know when your good enough to start making projects to test knowledge or skill?6
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Small warning: The plugin “Web Developer“ was hacked and shows shady ads and does maybe even more in the background. Better disable it for now.2
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one boolean can change your Life 😂😂
Ever think a life without booleans? Share your views on same.
A true developer better knows it!! 👀7 -
Not a web developer, but last time I discovered that developer tools from Mozilla are much more reach in many small but useful functionalities. For example blackbox mode or eyedropper. Plus all other awesome stuff from Chrome.1
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Hi there everybody! Just joined the community, an aspiring Java developer (just started learning a few months ago so I am nowhere near calling myself a "Developer"). I'm committed to becoming a developer, and I am trying to join every community and every conversation out there possible to immerse myself as much as I can. Any advice, guidance, people/conversations here to look out for, anything that will help me in my Journey would be greatly appreciated!9
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When you have to write super detailed description so the offshore developer doesn't screw up the task...but better yet when the outcome is 👌🏽
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Listening to @addlinny and @cascross123 dealing with our apple developer account, I probably need popcorn for this!3
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What use is a frontend developer (having exclusively frontend development knowledge) that's not a designer / isn't good at design.
Sorry if I'm being harsh, but you're either a web developer, knowing how to build web apps (or websites, or whatever), or a UX developer or whatever, knowing how to do pretty (and usable and accessible and...) things. Or even both.
Lemme say it differently. You either come from a web design and build a frontend, or come from the development of an application (database, logic, architecture, APIs, etc., backend++) and build a frontend for it. Again, or both.
Not being able to design, and not being able to build a product, is just... nothing? You're in the middle.
Sorry, but I don't think you're a developer. Maybe a coder.11 -
As a developer are you customer facing? I hate being customer facing as any disturbances destroy my train of thought!
-
I'm actually looking for a new job.
A friend of mine: "I heard that company X is looking for informaticians."
Me: "And what is the job exactly? Do you know which languages/technologies they are asking for?"
Friend: "Fixing computers/printers problems and form employer on how to use product Y"
Me: "No way."
Friend: "Why?"
Me: "..." (Long explanation on the difference between developer and technical support)
I should have understood when she said "informatician" instead of "developer"..1 -
me: When will you change this job ?
co-worker: Not now. Want to stay here for a while.
Just seen stackoverflow developer survey results
-
To be sole developer.. what struggles did you face ?. Did you do something like hiting the head on walls when your code broken. ?5
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At a salary of $11/hour, no overtime, is a junior web developer with no previous experience and no personal project undervalued?25
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I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?6 -
I recommended, that you have at least 1 wall between designer and developer, otherwise someone can get hurt.3
-
What do you think of personality types and which do you think is the most prevalent in the developer community?4
-
My co-worker ask me today, what is the different between Junior and Senior developer. We can’t call a person senior developer because they have been doing junior stuffs for long time.1
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On my first job I was a "Web developer" who made websites with WordPress and I was the only Web developer. Now on my second job I am a "Web programmer" who made websites with Joomla...
-
!rant
https://facebook.com/StudentProblem...
He must be developer.
It is alright bud. It is alright.2 -
new Suit() + new Developer() == interview() ;
The irony here is I usually wear casual to interviews6 -
So I had an interesting conversation with a "developer" from another org:
Me: "So I might have a new client. Their site really needs an update."
Them:"Let me see." *goes to perspective client site*
Them:"Wow, that's bad!"
Me:"Yep it hasn't been touched since 08"
Them:"No, that's not the reason. The reason it looks this bad is because it is made with php."
9 -
First year as a professional developer, and this Thanksgiving break is making it hard to get back into the code base here at work. Am I the only one?2
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A few days back I wrote one blog on 'Be a Happy Developer' topic. Later on, I figure it out that I am the most boring developer among the developers I know.
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can you share some interesting and useful topics for a web developer(PHP), who want to become nodejs based full stack developer?
udemy courses link will be useful.2 -
Which one of these job types is the easiest to get into(interview and HR-wise, not professionally)?
- Full Stack Developer
- Android Developer
- Backend Developer
- Devops Engineer
I'm a security/sysadmin who wants to move to dev and have some skills and experience in each of them. Do you think they will take that into account?5 -
I used to dislike WordPress. Now I really hate it. Having to work on some guys' website with wordpress which was clearly set up by some fucking wannabe developer who didn't know or care jackshit about anything. For fucking real man.5
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Do you make notes for the stuff you learn as a developer,
feel fee to discuss how you do it, like do you write a detailed blog post or write in your notebook6 -
On a general note, what does a senior developer/manager expects from a fresh out of college junior developer?
Should a fresher play dumb and make his superiors feel even more superior or should he play bold, and display his superpowers in front of senior devs/managers?
What should he ultimately do to be respected more?3 -
How do I overcome the fear of failure as a developer? I know that failures are a daily thing in the life of a developer but I'm severely afraid to mess things up. My colleague explained something to me that also involves making changes to the database but I'm really afraid to make mistakes. How does one overcome that initial fear? And did anyone experience the same as a junior developer?4
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For those of you that do use Firefox developer edition, any of you noticed that the last versions are quiet buggy around development tools, like css preview of a class that doesn't update when you select a different piece of HTML?1
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What kind of developer you are? What you write first LHS or RHS while assigning values?
Step 1: a+b
Step 2 : const a = a+b;
or
Step 1: const a;
Step 2 : const a = a + b;23 -
A movie about a developer will be black and white. Either black should exist or white. Both appears to co exists but in reality may be not.2
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