Italian chef: We have the best spaghetti in the world
PHP developer: I doubt that

Me: Can you make me some meatballs?

Engineer: No, what are you talking about?

Me: I thought you were a chef.

Engineer: I'm not a chef, what made you think that?

Me: I was looking at your code and I haven't seen that much spaghetti since Olive Garden ran the endless pasta special. I was just wanting some meatballs to go with it.

Clickbait will never change.
It's the most stable and constant source of mild annoyance.

2019 internet:

"These 3 programming languages will net you the highest salary"
"Ten home improvement tips using nothing but recycled underwear"
"How to cut onions like a real chef"

2020 internet:

"3 programming languages to learn while being bored in self-quarantine"
"Ten ways to use underwear as facemasks during the pandemic"
"Onions might cure corona, click here to learn how to cut them"

2030 internet:

"These 3 programming languages will increase your chances of survival in the wastelands"
"Ten ways to patch up your shelter against radioactive ashes using old underpants"
"Hydroponic onions are a good source of nutrients. Here's how you cut them with your camping knife"

Hope you will like it.

Who the fuck on earth named it Chef. You idiots, if I google Chef I get people wearing aprons on my browser. And what the fuck is cookbooks, cookbooks for chef returns 60 ways of making chicken. Who on earth has such naming convention for IT DevOps. Recipe, cookbooks, knife. Dafuq is wrong.

Watching a cookery program and it made me think it must be hard being a chef.

Then it made me think that being a web developer is a bit like cooking.

You have your ready meal equivalent with WordPress and Wix.

You have your cook at home kits with front-end frameworks like bootstrap and foundation.

You have your recipes and ingredients with package managers like npm and JavaScript modules.

Then you have your own home made cooking using vanilla js, CSS and HTML made to your own liking.

Just like being a good chef, being a good web developer is about knowing what ingredients and methods to include, but also what to leave out, to get the best result!

At the data restaurant:
Chef: Our freezer is broken and our pots and pans are rusty. We need to refactor our kitchen.
Manager: Bring me a detailed plan on why we need each equipment, what can we do with each, three price estimates for each item from different vendors, a business case for the technical activities required and an extremely detailed timeline. Oh, and do not stop doing your job while doing all this paperwork.
Chef: ...
Boss: ...

Some time later a customer gets to the restaurant.
Waiter: This VIP wants a burguer.
Boss: Go make the burger!
Chef: Our frying pan is rusty and we do not have most of the ingredients. I told you we need to refactor our kitchen. And that I cannot work while doing that mountain of paperwork you wanted!
Boss: Let's do it like this, fix the tech mumbo jumbo just enough to make this VIP's burguer. Then we can talk about the rest.

The chef then runs to the grocery store and back and prepares to make a health hazard hurried burguer with a rusty pan.
Waiter: We got six more clients waiting.
Boss: They are hungry! Stop whatever useless nonsense you were doing and cook their requests!
Cook: Stop cooking the order of the client who got here first?
Boss: The others are urgent!
Cook: This one had said so as well, but fine. What do they want?
Waiter: Two more burgers, a new kind of modern gaseous dessert, two whole chickens and an eleven seat sofa.
Chef: Why would they even ask for a sofa?!? We are a restaurant!
Boss: They don't care about your Linux techno bullshit! They just want their orders!
Cook: Their orders make no sense!
Boss: You know nothing about the client's needs!
Cook: ...
Boss: ...

That is how I feel every time I have to deal with a boss who can't tell a PostgreSQL database from a robots.txt file.
Or everytime someone assumes we have a pristine SQL table with every single column imaginable.
Or that a couple hundred terabytes of cold storage data must be scanned entirely in a fraction of a second on a shoestring budget.
Or that years of never stored historical data can be retrieved from the limbo.
Or when I'm told that refactoring has no ROI.
Fuck data stack cluelessness.
Fuck clients that lack of basic logical skills.

So I used to be a chef, then I got married and decided my weekends and holidays were better spent than making food for ungrateful shit-wagglers, or getting screamed at in Lebanese by the exec Chef during dinner service at the end of a ten-hour shift, so I went back to school for Computer Engineering. I was so worried because I swore compulsively from day one of classes.
Little did I know way back then, the first programming language I ever learned was swearing.

How many devranters here cook? Post your latest creation!

Pic related, chicken pie I helped make with my girlfriend.

+1 if you have a spaghetti chef in your team.

Books and command lines.

I don't like teachers.

I think it's because my learning process is very async and chaotic. When I see a snippet in Golang, I relate it to PHP, Rust and Haskell. I jump to resolving the problem in other languages, trying to find out which approaches work in Go.

Then I read about some computer science concept on Wikipedia and get lost in that while my hunger for knowledge and food increases. After a while I look up a recipe for a pasta salad, and while cutting bell peppers, I see the recipe in terms of typed morphisms, I sprinkle and intersperse ingredients through mapping functions, then decide to write an interpreter for the esoteric "Chef" language in Go so I can interpret my salad recipe while eating it.

Voila, I'm learning Go.

I have no patience for linear mentoring, and others have no patience for mentoring me.

But that's OK.

Fuck I love my job, my boss and I are absolute food fanatics and talk about weird and wonderful things we cook...

He knows I bloody love curry so he brought some in for me to have for lunch and he's bringing me a shit load of fresh grown vegetables...

And to think I chose IT over being a chef.... (Still no regrets)

So like, are you implying the chef will come to my house?

Luckily I'm a better developer than a chef.

Here is me dreaming of an avatar cat and working hard for it

Was just working in a restaurant's kitchen when chef told me "can you make me a website ?"
Me :thinking: : "Mmh k..."

My day.

07.25 early ringing of phone.

I'm usually dead asleep till 9 o clock.

Went to bed at 01 o clock.

Something crushed at work, needed to be fixed ASAP.

No coffee. Tired. Stinking peace of garbage

08.45 o clock - super market delivery came earlier than expected, while la me was still trying to communicate necessary steps to resolve the issue.

Forgot to pre pay online.

Still had no coffee, still a piece of stinking shit, still tired.

Took me nearly 20 mins to get my PIN right.

Poor delivery guy had unpleasant call from chef, I needed to deescalate.

Back to work, people angry for me being 20 mins away in midst of chaos.

Me back to fixing stuff.

Done at 09.30.

One of these days where everything you touch becomes a large pile of poop and no matter what you do it's wrong.

Yep. The rest of the day went pretty much as bonkers as it started.

At least no work on weekend.

Yay.

Full stack developer.

I know what it's supposed to mean, but I feel like it gives discredit to the devs who perfect their area (frontend, backend, db, infrastructure). It's, to me, like calling myself a chef because I can cook dinner..

The depth, analysis and customization of the domain to shape an api to a website is never appreciated. The finicle tweaks on the frontend to make those final touches. Then comes a brat who say they are full stack, and can do all those things. Bullshit. 99.9% of them have never done anything but move data through layers and present it.

Throw these wannabes an enterprise system with monoliths and microservices willy nelly, orchestrate that shit with a vertical slice nginx ssi with disaster recovery, horizontal scaling, domain modeling, version management, a busy little bus and events flowing all decimal points of 2pi. Then, if you fully master everything going on there, I believe you are full stack.

Otherwise you just scraped the surface of what complexities software development is about. Everyone who can read a tutorial can scrape together an "in-out" website. But if your db is looking the same as your api, your highest complexity is the alignment of an infobox, I will laugh loud at your full stack.

And if you told me in an interview that you are full stack, you'd better have 10+ years experience and a good list of failed and successful projects before I'd let you stay the next two minutes..

Michelin star Chefs, Chefs, sous chef, pastry chefs, cooks, burger flippers; they all prepare food.

I think that development is heading becoming a service industry. Millions of developers at the low end making next to nothing with less at the top making more; sometimes much more.

Then there will be shows like "Master Coder" where something is white boarded out and the contestants have a limited time to write the function.

"Designers shooting for usable is like a chef shooting for edible." - Aarron Walter

Told by boss earlier that my job description should be changed.
It should be cook or chef, as I'm making spaghetti inside my editor.

He argued it could be risotto as well

A real chef will rant about a freaking knife sharpness and weight and handle and all that shit. Because a real chef knows what he is holding.

Us? We are happy as long as the knives in our hands can cut some stuffs or stab some people.

// Disclaimer : I just left this comment on a rant where OP claimed many users (average users) have no issues with a particular OS while a bunch of self proclaimed developers have lots of trouble with that particular OS.

Being mocked by the chef because I am "almost a week on a task"... Yeah dude, if a script which should update hundred thousands of main entities in production with a 45 min duration even though it is already paralleled is a half day job why don't you do it fucking yourself?

So... I know this isn't a rant, in fact it's not even related to computers, but it's so epic I just have to share.

The other day at work, we ordered lunch from a local Thai chef, whom I challenged to make me a properly hot Thai style stir fry pork dish.

I think he understood, because it was just perfect. (:

Q. Why does a 'Chef' wear white clothes?

Cuz ffffff

"It doesn’t matter one damn bit whether fashion is art or not. You don’t question whether an incredible chef is an artist or not – his cakes are delicious and that’s all that matters." - Sonia Rykiel

Fuck office politics!

Fuck the backstabbers with the knife that vegan black metal chef is using!

Also fuck those blame-gamers that blame other people from the team constantly but stealthy, you know the kind, the one that poisons everyone little by little by its subtle toxicity!

Obviously, chef. Human always need food. AI not good at cooking.

Has anyone ever wanted to quit as programmer?

But I talking go and work as a chef or a fucking janitor kind-of-quitting?

Since we’re adding new backronyms every day, I propose SIMPLE.

S - Spaghetti: write tapestry of code like a chef.

I - Interlinked: if the project has modules, they should all depend on each other (we are strongest when we can depend on one another).

M - Micromanaged: if the product owner doesn’t expect reports in the daily stand-up, do they even care?

P - Perplex: diversity for the codebase.

L - Lazy: Bill Gates once said “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it”, for example, without testing, collaborating with team members, or ensuring the feature works with anything else in the codebase.

E - Opinionated: because I believe E should stand for opinionated and everyone else will have to work around this with adapters. But E should mean Opinionated because Uncle Bab said so.

So I had this assignment for a subject at University about semaphores in C. The theme was "Friend's dinner out" and it had 3 entities and yadda yadda...

The innocent me made this montage of a chef (one of the entities) with a semaphore in his hand and put it in the first page of the report for that assignment.

Until this point, all ok, or so I thought...

The moment I show my report to my friends they burst out laughing and say I literally just created a meme and sent it to a "not so cool" teacher.
They find it hilarious.

Right now I'm nervously waiting for the assignment grades to be published.

Did I screw up my report and thus my assignment?

OK semi rant... Would like suggestions

Boss wants me to figure out someway to find the maximum load/users our servers/API/database can handle before it freezes or crashes **under normal usage**.

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITH 1 PC? The question seems to me to mean how big a DDoS can it handle?

I'm not sure if this is vague requirements, don't know what they're talking about, or they think I can shit gold... for nothing... or I'm missing something (I'm thinking how many concurrent requests and a single Neville melee even with 4 CPUs)

"Oh just doing up some cloud servers"

Uh well I'm a developer, I've never used Chef or Puppet and or cloud sucks, it's like a web GUI, not only do I have to create the instances manually and would have to upload the testing programs to each manually... And set up the envs needed to run it.

Docker you say? There's no Docker here... Prebuilt VM images? Not supported.

And it's due in 2 weeks...

Chef- why you be so difficult to install? You make me miss Docker.

I landed myself an interview with a really great company for a DevOps intern position tomorrow.

Im really hopeful about this. The company truly seems like a great place to work with incredible opportunity to grow, and I desperately want to pursue a career in DevOps, but Im worried that Im underqualified. I lack true professional experience, and have really had no adequate time working with CI/CD tools, but I am very interested, excited and willing to work hard to become proficient.
Ive been prepping myself as much as I can in this last week (trying to gain familiarity with tools like jenkins, artifactory, chef etc), and so I ask to you, my fellow ranters (particularly DevOps), are there any final tips or bits of advice that I can take to really impress my interviewers and better my chances of getting this position?

Also, hello again to my old devRant pals~ I miss hanging around here and conversing with you great people

Considering I had a 10 year career as a restaurant chef before I decided to switch lanes and go to college at age 30, I guess I'll always have that as a fallback.

Here comes lots of random pieces of advice...

Ain't no shortcuts.

Be prepared, becoming a good programmer (there are lots of shitty programmers, not so many good ones) takes lots of pain, frustration, and failure. It's going to suck for awhile. There will be false starts. At some point you will question whether you are cut out for it or not. Embrace the struggle -- if you aren't failing, you aren't learning.

Remember that in 2021 being a programmer is just as much (maybe even moreso) about picking up new things on the fly as it is about your crystalized knowledge. I don't want someone who has all the core features of some language memorized, I want someone who can learn new things quickly. Everything is open book all the time. I have to look up pretty basic stuff all the time, it's just that it takes me like twelve seconds to look it up and digest it.

Build, build, build, build, build. At least while you are learning, you should always be working on a project. Don't worry about how big the project is, small is fine.

Remember that programming is a tool, not the end goal in and of itself. Nobody gives a shit how good a carpenter is at using some specialized saw, they care about what the carpenter can build with that specialized saw.

Plan your build. This is a VERY important part of the process that newer devs/programmers like to skip. You are always free to change the plan, but you should have a plan going on. Don't store your plan in your head. If you plan exists only in your head you are doing it wrong. Write that shit down! If you create a solid development process, the cognitive overhead for any project goes way down.

Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, especially to the experts you are learning from. They are good because they have done the thing that you are struggling with at least a thousand times.

Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself today to yourself yesterday. This will make it seem like you haven't learned anything and aren't on the move. Compare yourself to yourself last week, last month, last year.

Have experienced programmers review your code. Don't be afraid to ask, most of us really really enjoy this (if it makes you feel any better about the "inconvenience", it will take a mid-level waaaaay less time to review your code that it took for you to write it, and a senior dev even less time than that). You will hate it, it will suck having someone seem like they are just ripping your code apart, but it will make you so much better so much faster than just relying on your own internal knowledge.

When you start to be able to put the pieces together, stay humble. I've seen countless devs with a year of experience start to get a big head and talk like they know shit. Don't keep your mouth closed, but as a newer dev if you are talking noise instead of asking questions there is no way I will think you are ready to have the Jr./Associate/Whatever removed from your title.

Don't ever. Ever. Ever. Criticize someone else's preferred tools. Tooling is so far down the list of what makes a good programmer. This is another thing newer devs have a tendency to do, thinking that their tool chain is the only way to do it. Definitely recommend to people alternatives to check out. A senior dev using Notepad++, a terminal window, and a compiler from 1977 is probably better than you are with the newest shiniest IDE.

Don't be a dick about terminology/vocabulary. Different words mean different things to different people in different organizations. If what you call GNU/Linux somebody else just calls Linux, let it go man! You understand what they mean, and if you don't it's your job to figure out what they mean, not tell them the right way to say it.

One analogy I like to make is that becoming a programmer is a lot like becoming a chef. You don't become a chef by following recipes (i.e. just following tutorials and walk-throughs). You become a chef by learning about different ingredients, learning about different cooking techniques, learning about different styles of cuisine, and (this is the important part), learning how to put together ingredients, techniques, and cuisines in ways that no one has ever showed you about before.

Was once interviewing for Ops support roles looking after multiple websites wrote in java, rails, php with some rest apis, apache, varnish and more....

We were also starting moving towards automation and devops practices so we needed to expand...

We have a great CV from someone who had all of the technologies and chef mentioned on their CV so we were positive....

Invited to interview and something wasn't right..... I dropped a "so you mentioned a few different languages on your CV, can you talk me though some of the applications you've looked after and what languages they were written in, etc?"

His reply.. "yes I looked after a lot of applications and helped people with them in English"

Me "oh.. Okay.... So those apps which software languages were they... You mentioned things like Java and Php and automation tech like chef?"

Him "well yes they were all sorts of things but I predominantly looked after the apps that were wrote in English... Didn't deal with any wrote in java or chef... Just English"

Me ".... Does anyone else have any questions?"

Safe to say we didn't offer him the job....

Somebody claimed to be an "ex-McDonalds chef". This is right up there with "prompt engineer". Buahahahahahahaha!!!

I guess I should put on my resume: "Hardee's Chef - 2 years" hahahahahaha!!!

!rant - Also sorry this got rather long.

This is actually a psoitive story. I always used to be someone working on his things alone. It was great, I got shit done, I learned something. No one stressing you. But I was also lonely. The thing is that this behavior not only applied to developing. I was also able to observer that behavior in other parts of my life.

So it was time for a change. And I made a change.

It all began by switching my field of studies. Well, not really the field but some details. I switched from plain old computer science to computer science combined with media design. Here in Germany we have a nice word for it. Mediendesigninformatik.

I wish I had made that change earlier. Nonetheless it's never too late to make a change. So I began going to creative courses, like animation or graphic design. Directly from the start I made sure to talk to people. Make them remember me, offered my help because I already had experience with some things etc.

Next up was to get a job. So I got one. Now I'm working as a Game Master for a branding of escape rooms. Fun job. Also something different from developing all day, which is quite nice to do sometimes.
This job is where my change begun. The people there are amazing. I felt instantly like I've found new friends. Actually I also developed a crush on someone there and we are possibly dating soon. Not quite sure about that yet though. That also isn't the point here.

So a month later I moved out of my parents house. Living together with friends now and it's great. I'm so much more creative, so much more shit happens. I feel like a different human.

So I continued working on myself. I wanted to get really good at it. I wanted my groups to succeed whole having a challenge. They were supposed to leave happily, even when they didn't make it. Of course not everyone can be satisfied, but I noticed a positive change. Which motivated me to redesign and rethink the tool we use to give the players hints, manage their time and other stuff.
I was scared at first, but eventually I showed them what I did. Their feedback was surprisingly positive and while it will perhaps never replace our actual tools because our chef is a cheapskate, I was happy to achieve something. This continued. I made more stuff and formed connections.

Now I'm not working on things alone anymore. Recently I started working together with someone and this also was the first time I've made actual money of it. It's not a lot, but I was able to live half a month of it.

This is the beginning and I hope there will be much more. The moment I started showing other people my work and feeling confident about it made me change. I also learned to appreciate other people's compliments and kind of get an high of them, but I'm not sad when they don't like it. I feel like I've grown as a human and are more mature.

Have you experienced something similar? Can't wait to read your stories.

Being a programmer or dev is a lot like being a chef: (I've done both)
Sure it's something anyone can just jump in on with minimal experience, and probably make a little thing that kinda looks cool to the layman, but it takes experience and hard lessons to make something that will impress the judges.

If ma code was a salad it would be a chef salad.

They need to get rid of the Cook and employ a Chef.
It used to be creativity, foresight, instinct manifesting itself in great innovative design and software. Now we have everything focused on chasing the $. Just like Microsoft used to be, until that is they realised. Now Apple is the old Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple.
I live in hope.

Looking to sharpen and pursue a SysAdmin/DevOps career, looking at online job offers to get the big picture of required skills and I say FUCK. It would take me a lifetime.
Azure, AWS, Google cloud platform.
CD tools: Ansible, Chef or Puppet
Scripting ninja with Python/Node and Shell/Power shell.
Linux & Windows administration
Mongo, MySQL and their relatives.
Networking, troubleshooting failure in disturbed systems
Familiarity with different stacks. Fuck. (Apache, nginx, etc..)
Monitoring infrastructure ( nagios, datadog .. )
CI tools: jenkins, maven, etc..
DB versioning: liquibase, flyway etc.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Are they looking for Voltron? FUCK YOU FROM THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF MY DEEP FUCK.

Probably a cook or a chef, I like the kitchen and cooking in general.

Maybe owning a small barbacue joint somewhere not so remote, like a route stop near some touristic place.

Is 'long term thinking' a forbidden thing??

I: if we use Chef to deploy our project to the different servers, we can save a lot of time and hassle (also for the server people)
They: Do we need it now, because it takes a lot of time..

Yes, it takes some more time initially but it pays back in the long run especially because now we have a terrible mess of server environments..

Non technical bosses managing technical people should never be allowed. It'd be like if the head chef at a restaurant only knew how to cook Lean Cuisine, but bossed around all the other chefs on how they should do their job.

[best part of wfh]

Absolutely nothing, i have great equipment at the office, my colleagues are my friends and we have a chef who cooks great food. At home the only good part is that i have my ps4 but i use my vita at work so its not a huge pro.

Is it worthy to spend so much time solving hacker rank, codility, code chef challenges or just learning new technologies and becoming good a t it? At the end, where should we put our energy on?

as a seasoned systems eng myself, i had huge mental block of "i am not a programmer" whining when starting to incorperate agile/infrastructure as code for more seasoned syseng staff.

leadership made devops a role and not a practice so lots of growing pains. was finally able to win them over by asking them to look at how many 'scripts' and 'tools' they wrote to make life easier... and how much simpler and sustainable using puppet/ansible/chef/salt... and checking in all our sacred bin files and only approved 'scripts' would be pushed thru automation tool after post review.

we still are not programmers or developers, but using specific practices and source control took some time but saving us loads of time and gives us ability to actually do engineering

but just have 2 groups of younger guys that grew up wanting to be the bofh/crumudgen get off my systems types that are like not even 30... frustrating as they are the ones that should be more familiar with the shift from strictly ops to some overlap. and the devs that ask for root now that they can launch instances on aws or can launch docker containers and microservice..... ugggg. these 2 groups have never had to rack and stack servers, network gear, storage... just all magic to them because they can start 50 servers with a button click.

try to get past the iam roles, acls, facls, selinux and noshell i have been pushing. bitches.

Get to work before everyone is there to work a while without interruption.
Be the first there... to fix the worst problem of the year which appears this night. What a nightmare.

But it's done and fixed I'm happy ....
Half day is over now come to the real work. Oh wait Chef want to know what happens.

Day is over.

Best day of the Year!

I always wanted to be a photographer too. Maybe that or a chef.

1:20 AM - refactoring my configuration management system. I need coffee

So, I went right into working after getting my bachelors in computer science. The company I'm working for is overall pretty good, I think. My colleagues are really nice people, my chef is a super chill dude and overall its a nice workfield.
There are weeks or even months, when nothing happens though. I go to work, fight through boredom and tiredness and go home. I had several months in the last year where I didn't write a single line of code.

Is this normal? Should I come to terms with this?
I didn't become a software developer to basically sell my lifetime.

"The Perils and Triumphs of Debugging: A Developer's Odyssey"

You know you're in for an adventurous coding session when you decide to dive headfirst into debugging. It's like setting sail on the tumultuous seas of code, not quite sure if you'll end up on the shores of success or stranded on the island of endless errors.

As a developer, I often find myself in this perilous predicament, armed with my trusty text editor and a cup of coffee, ready to conquer the bugs lurking in the shadows. The first line of code looks innocent enough, but little did I know that it was the calm before the storm.

The journey begins with that one cryptic error message that might as well be written in an ancient, forgotten language. It's a puzzle, a riddle, and a test of patience all rolled into one. You read it, re-read it, and then call over your colleague, hoping they possess the magical incantation to decipher it. Alas, they're just as clueless.

With each debugging attempt, you explore uncharted territories of your codebase, and every line feels like a step into the abyss. You question your life choices and wonder why you didn't become a chef instead. But then, as you unravel one issue, two more pop up like hydra heads. The sense of despair is palpable.

But, my fellow developers, there's a silver lining in this chaotic journey. The moment when you finally squash that bug is an unparalleled triumph. It's the victory music after a challenging boss fight, the "Eureka!" moment that echoes through the office, and the affirmation that, yes, you can tame this unruly beast we call code.

So, the next time you find yourself knee-deep in debugging hell, remember that you're not alone. We've all been there, and we've all emerged stronger, wiser, and maybe just a little crazier. Debugging is our odyssey, and every error is a dragon to be slain. Embrace the chaos, and may your code be ever bug-free!

What do you use for automating infrastructure? I'm thinking tools like Ansible, Terraform and Chef

While planning my (personal) server I just seem to pile up more and more things to do/consider. Basically, for now I just want to have rclone, nextcloud and jellyfin, plus some usenet stuff later on. But I want to have the whole installation and configuration automated as far as possible, since I'll at first it will run in a test environment and needs to be migrated to another server at a point, possibly even another OS. So I suppose that means docker, docker-compose and Chef (any better options?). I want SSL: Traefik. User management / auth? RADIUS, LDAP. SSO? keycloak. I also need to deal with virtual hosts. And probably much more..

Since I just have basic Linux knowledge and have no real experience with any of the other technologies, I feel a bit lost. I just got to the abovementioned software due to some ddg research. I don't mind digging deep, I want to learn (which is half the reason for this project), but it's not easy to the the best way to set this up.

A cook or a chef, pretty honorable field of work... but the job is hard, stressful, long hours and the pay can often be terrible, so you definitely need passion.

To be honest, all my chefs friends work harder than anyone else I know.

The Michelin star chef says to a fast-food line cook:
— In my restaurant, we don't use mayonnaise. Better even, I don't need mayonnaise, so as my fellow Michelin star chefs.
— You are idiot. We use mayonnaise and the burgers taste like crap without it.
— Perhaps it's because your recipes are trash and your products are made from waste materials?
— Look. I consulted with my fellow cooks from KFC, McDonald's, Burger King — all huge, billion-dollar companies, and they too are using mayonnaise. The whole world uses it. If you don't use mayonnaise, you can't cook tasty. End of discussion.

That's how I feel when someone defends unit tests. Matter of fact, I can't stand _both_ tests and mayonnaise. Coincidence?

We started planing for next month's. After this my time was already planned for 100%.
Now the Chef was coming we should document some processes. Now I'm planned for 110% for the next months.....
I like to be 110% xD

Today, while bootstrapping new machines in chef, I saw this in the output:

install version 1.0.9.8.4 of package apt-transport-https

They're using kinda long version number. Is there any chance that those numbers are called: major, almost major, middle, semi-minor and minor? ;)

i am so excited learning. now i'll start refactoring my plate of spaghetti into object portions. both are new topics to me.

'net-ssh 4.1.0 conflicts with net-ssh (< 4.0, >= 2.7)'

Uninstalls net-e 4.1.0, runs command again

'Could not find 'net-ssh' (= 4.1.0) - did find: [net-ssh-3.2.0]'

Sometimes I just think dependency management was a mistake.

This is for the swedish: I saw a while ago a dialog in Adobe Acrobat where the title was: "Närmaste nerladdning chef". (~"Closest downloading boss")

Probably auto translated from "Closest downloading manager"

Puppet becomes chef when the salt stack so realistic ansible will only play

Maybe this is off topic, but currently I have a rant so intense that I just want to post this anywhere I can rant.

I am not sure how to cook But I am interested to become a chef. My dream is to be a chef. That's it. I have seen the cooking in a recent popular action RPG game, Cooking Mama 2. And I will get my hands dirty and syart spending hours to become a chef

Chef is cool. So even I don't know anything about cooking, I got the gut to get into my Mama's kitchen and look around for some ingredients.

Day one, I can instantly make the best food. I am a prodigy.
I made a Kale Salad. It tastes good. I can't resisit sharing my great food to my Mum and my friends
'hey, I am a genius chef !!"
But they laugh at me, 'Lol, you are a recipe kiddie.'

Omg, why are they so rude? they are jealous at me because they don't know how to cook? Lol

Debs - Ready To Score

I'll be polite with your daughter
Young man that will be a dollar
Foe that arnold n palmer
Ain't nothin free in this world
Ain't nothin free in this world
Money ain't growin on trees in this world
Life's just a bunch of fees in this world
But thats why you gotta go fish
Gettin the fix for this dish
Chef in the kitchen, my cookin so rich
Chef in the kitchen, I'm gettin to this
Girls easier then a flip of switch

[Chorus]
Pass me the rock I'm ready to score
Fakes never make it passed the doors
Do it for yourself
Do it for yourself
Do it do it
Do it for yourself
Pass me the rock I'm ready to score
Fakes never make it past the doors
Fakes never make it past the doors
Fakes never make it past the doors

our team need to be chef by this week to bake a cake.....

A bug on a chef script which stops the web server in case if it was unable to talk with the database. One night the database hits the maximum number of allowed connection and a good number of web servers went down at 3 am.

DevOps With Ruby and Chef on FreeBSD (and Linux)

I am Ops and Dev by heart. I have always automated *nix systems long before any automation framework was invented because I am pretty lazy. Doing stuff more than once manually is just one time too often for me. Imho Ruby is a really elegant language. The same applies for the tools that are built around it. The Chef ecosystem fits into this with its own elegance and stability perfectly because the server is Erlang driven and the rest is Ruby.
Being a Linux and BSD user since the early 90s I have always loved a *nix system for it's concepts and simplicity. One command for exactly one purpose and everything is combineable like letters are combinable to words in my mother language. I have always loved FreeBSD more though. Imho it is even more focused on simplicity. Because it is a really clean approach of system design that envies a base system and keeps 3rd party separated in a clean way for example. It also values classic UNIX philosophies that most Linux distros these days abandon but which saved my life multiple times through better design and execution that also focuses alot more on stability, fault tolerance and ease of use than any Linux I have come across. The hardcore guys should read "Design and Implementation of the FreeBSD Operating System", compare the readings to the Linux way of things and see for themselves.*

*The author acknowledges that this text is his opinion and just his wet dream alone and may not be of any relevance for the sexual lifes of everybody else

I've always had a passion for good food so becoming a chef wouldn't sound like a bad thing.

Again a bad day with Gocd, ruby, chef, gem, AWS alb, report portal, jjb, jinja२, pyyaml etc ...

Alt career ? Professional Chef, fancy restaurant.

Vagrant-berkshelf is such a savior. Thank you @reset