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A lady has brought her iMac onto the train! Has she not heard of a laptop?? wtf!!!
Source: https://twitter.com/davidhill_co/...
15 -
Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0
Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.
Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.
Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.
Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!
Naturally, I escalate the issue.
Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.
Day 34
I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.
Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.
Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.15 -
If programming languages where weapons...
1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.
2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.
3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it
4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.
5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.
6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.
7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.
8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.
9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.
10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.
11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.
12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.
13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.
14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.
15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom
All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com5 -
One time I wanted to use my mouse and it didn't work, the light was on and everything seemed normal, I flipped it upside down and I found a troll face sticker on the laser led ...
5 -
The Linux Kernel, not just because of the end product. I find it's organizational structure and size (both in code and contributors) inspirational.
Firefox. Even if you don't use it as your main browser, the sheer amount of work Mozilla has contributed to the world is amazing.
OpenTTD. I liked the original game, and 25 years after release some devs are still actively maintaining an open source clone with support for mods.
Git. Without it, it would not just be harder working on your own source code, it would also be harder to try out other people's projects.
FZF is possibly my favorite command line tool.
Kitty has recently become my favorite terminal.
My favorite thing open source has brought forth though is a certain mindset, which in the last decade can be felt most heavily in the fact that:
1. Scientific papers with accompanying GitHub urls, especially when it comes to AI. Cutting edge research is one git clone away.
2. There are so many open hardware projects. From raspberry pi to 3d printers to laser cutters, being a "maker" suddenly became a mainstream hobby.12 -
Just made a laser sentry tower for my cats. Next up is adding some tracking so it can play with them by itself while I'm at work and after that I'm adding a Wi-Fi module and camera so that i can also play with them while I'm at work... I couldn't resist using a mouse to top it off 😂
17 -
Not so much screaming as staring in disbelief, mumbling profanity in his direction...
When my department lead said "I don't think this unit testing hype or code reviews make much sense, it's more efficient to just make a checklist and test the application yourself"
This was the QA department of an aerospace company, we wrote NDT software to do image recognition on xrays of alloy welds and micrometer laser measurements on fuel tank surfaces. Software which is quite mission critical, a single misrecognized welding fault could literally cost up to half a billion dollars — not to mention that it's a very sabotage & espionage sensitive industry.
After raising some hell he was replaced though.3 -
Do you have a spare usb phone cable?
I have but I'm using it to charge my phone
Do you have a spare laser pointer for my presentation?
Sorry, I don't
Do you have a spare mouse?
No :)
Sometimes things become a little weird
Do you have a spare keyboard?
No sorry. :/
Do you have a spare monitor?
:/
Do you have a spare computer?
what?
Do you have a spare mac?
>:(
Do you have two spare computers and one printer for each? Would be nice for the conference that we are going to hold tomorrow if someone need to print.
What's wrong with you people. I'm just a developer, not a fucking warehouse9 -
Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.
Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.
While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.
Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!
Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!8 -
"Hey we need you to be laser focused on these rush projects, but first let's have an hour long meeting to discuss how you need to be laser focused on these projects".
😑6 -
I feel like a wild west cowboy drawing his revolver at laser speeds when I press ctrl + s microseconds before alt + tabbing and refreshing the page with F5.8
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Robots done, for now! Well, the basics are done. Just fueling up at the moment :)
Tomorrow I'll put up a little gif of it moving around, but I wanted to get this out as soon as possible, because making physical things isn't my strong point, and I ran into a lot of problems
Shoutout to my school for having a free to use laser cutter
2 -
MY OPENCV SIDEPROJECT WORKS!!
Now I can chill in bed and control the computer with a laser pointer :)8 -
Our university will have a fancy laser lab with a direct fiberoptic connection to the most accurate atomic clock 200km away.
But the online system still cant handle more than few 1000 students trying to check their grades/plan...5 -
My setup! You can see my cable "management" at the bottom... Here is a list of everything:
Raspberry Pi Zero
Raspberry Pi 1*
Raspberry Pi 3
Lenovo IdeaPad 14isk with i5 6200U @ 2.6 GHz, 1TB SSD, 1TB HDD and 8GB RAM
HP wireless laser comfort mouse^
Some random blue Fellowes mouse mat*
Viglen EZ9920 keyboard*
HP LaserJet P1102w printer*°
Some IKEA lamp^, desk and chair°
Logitech RX250 mouse*
IntoCircuit Power Bank^
Logitech Z123 2.1 speakers^
Acer S220HQL monitor (1080p)
Kindle Fire HD 3rd Gen
SanDisk ImageMate AIO card reader
Some rubber ducks x2°
Items marked ° are not visible in the photo
Items marked ^ were literally the cheapest I could find
Items marked * were second-hand
7 -
New desk! :)
(Delays with my robot, if anyone's wondering, because I had to get a few pieces laser cut, and I was putting my new desk in)
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I was so annoyed by my acne over the past few years that today I went and got the entire area of my facial skin blasted with laser. Now, a several microns thin veneer, containing all that ugly pore openings, is removed.
Isotretinoin, benzoylperoxid, all failed. But I'm not afraid of trying newer methods. Now, serums will be used to grow new skin differently than it might have grown back on its own.
When it grows back, another laser will be used to destroy sebaceous glands. Blackheads and bumps will be physically impossible. A new skin. Even. Glowing. Artificial. Absolutely flawless, absolutely perfect. What a nice reflection of my vision on every thing I make.
When god was sitting in its room, chewing on a donut and designing the world we live in, he never thought much of humans. He got bored and went for a smoke with other gods of other worlds. Little did he know, there was a knock on his door, and a consequential rush of anxiety in realization that it was no fellow god friend, but a human. A human of the generation that figured out Theory of Everything, CRISPR and immortality. Desperate, dirty apes dared to trick silicon sand into thinking, and now they're there, not to talk, but to kill him, a privileged astral plane kid who fell short of those apes who figured everything out on their own.
Disease is natural. Death is natural.
Eternal things are artificial.
6 -
Today I wanted to buy a printer. I spend hours researching on inkjets, inktanks, laser, cost per print, print quality... and then I realise that I print like 10 sheets in a year.
Wtf am I doing? Guess I'm just going insane with all the work. Maybe I'll feel better when I get my printer.23 -
What a cool question... um
My super power would be to intuitively read assembly. I could also focus it into laser eyes. A super power can do other things. Tell me why it shouldn't. -
Last week I had a meeting with a client at their office and I got an invitation to a BBQ with some other people that evening. So I went to that BBQ and when I wanted to leave he said we could go laser gaming in their building.
That was awesome!! 😱
So yeah, you could say I've made friends. Not only because of programming, but also in the process of getting a new project. -
After I received my laser eye surgery, I knew it would become painful after the effect of anesthesia would decrease so I got painkillers in advance.
It was nimesulide.
Even in 2008 ISDB raised a concern about the liver damage and asked for it to be withdrawn worldwide, but I didn't knew it.
So the terrible pain started and I took the pill. Just. One. Pill.
This all started in like fifteen minutes. Eye pain won't go away, but it didn't mattered anymore as I felt really terrible. I never experienced that kind of feeling before and I don't even know how to describe it. It felt like a terrible sensation inside my stomach mixed with an urge to vomit. "This is probably what a liver failure feels like. This is it, I'm going do die here", I remember thinking about as I collapsed.
This whole incident led to an investigation about why the doctors "forgot" to give me proper eye anesthesia drops. This got several doctors fired.
This all got me really interested in how different medications work. I started casually reading popular medical literature and when my depression came, I was prepared, as much as you can even get prepared to a mental disorder.
The thing that probably nearly killed me helped me not to lose my sanity later.4 -
When Google Engineers Made a Speech Synthesis Program, they hadn't figured out a name until:
"What should we name our advanced speech synthesis program"
"Hey bob what are going to order for lunch today"
"Tacos."
"What was that weird movie with the laser bikes that make light walls"
"Tron."
"Bob you're a genius" -
In the 90s most people had touched grass, but few touched a computer.
In the 2090s most people will have touched a computer, but not grass.
But at least we'll have fully sentient dildos armed with laser guns to mildly stimulate our mandatory attached cyber-clits, or alternatively annihilate thought criminals.
In other news my prime generator has exhaustively been checked against, all primes from 5 to 1 million. I used miller-rabin with k=40 to confirm the results.
The set the generator creates is the join of the quasi-lucas carmichael numbers, the carmichael numbers, and the primes. So after I generated a number I just had to treat those numbers as 'pollutants' and filter them out, which was dead simple.
Whats left after filtering, is strictly the primes.
I also tested it randomly on 50-55 bit primes, and it always returned true, but that range hasn't been fully tested so far because it takes 9-12 seconds per number at that point.
I was expecting maybe a few failures by my generator. So what I did was I wrote a function, genMillerTest(), and all it does is take some number n, returns the next prime after it (using my functions nextPrime() and isPrime()), and then tests it against miller-rabin. If miller returns false, then I add the result to a list. And then I check *those* results by hand (because miller can occasionally return false positives, though I'm not familiar enough with the math to know how often).
Well, imagine my surprise when I had zero false positives.
Which means either my code is generating the same exact set as miller (under some very large value of n), or the chance of miller (at k=40 tests) returning a false positive is vanishingly small.
My next steps should be to parallelize the checking process, and set up my other desktop to run those tests continuously.
Concurrently I should work on figuring out why my slowest primality tests (theres six of them, though I think I can eliminate two) are so slow and if I can better estimate or derive a pattern that allows faster results by better initialization of the variables used by these tests.
I already wrote some cases to output which tests most frequently succeeded (if any of them pass, then the number isn't prime), and therefore could cut short the primality test of a number. I rewrote the function to put those tests in order from most likely to least likely.
I'm also thinking that there may be some clues for faster computation in other bases, or perhaps in binary, or inspecting the patterns of values in the natural logs of non-primes versus primes. Or even looking into the *execution* time of numbers that successfully pass as prime versus ones that don't. Theres a bevy of possible approaches.
The entire process for the first 1_000_000 numbers, ran 1621.28 seconds, or just shy of a tenth of a second per test but I'm sure thats biased toward the head of the list.
If theres any other approach or ideas I may be overlooking, I wouldn't know where to begin.16 -
Space age science themed city in Russia. Some of the street names here, top to bottom:
- Constellation avenue
- Andromeda avenue
- Phobos avenue
- Copernicus street
- Laser avenue
- The Milky Way street
- Weightlessness street
- Helios avenue
- Bessel street
- Orion street
- Kepler street
- Curie street
- Galileo Galilei street
- Axis street
- Asteroid street
This place’s Wiki page (translated): https://ru-m-wikipedia-org.translate.goog/...
4 -
Last Thursday, project owner insisted that the module I was working on to be ready for testing this Monday(though the supposed deadline is next week).
Went to work on a day off to deliver it as requested. Monday came. Monday went. No testing started. Project owner was on leave.
Now he's asking if we can start with the testing.
Hope I have laser beam eyes so I can toast him. -_-2 -
Flash back to when The old mouses had the trackballs in them, pulled the mouse apart and pulled the trackball out 🙃
Coming back to recent times, myself and a work mate printed off small troll faces and stuck them to the bottom of the laser mouses around the office huehue1 -
Is it possible to print something on the moon using laser from earth ?
If so the first shit we will see are advertisements.13 -
Most interesting bug caused - created printer driver for vietnamese diacritical marks for old matrix printer without VN support by switching to graphics mode and plotting the dots and dashes. Print speed reduced about 200x and printer shook itself to pieces by rotating the cylinder back and forth. Oh well... Ended up buying two new laser printers instead.
1 -
Yo, so does anyone here have any experience about using Windows or mac printer drivers on GNU+Linux? So far my strategy has been to try to extract a ppd file from the Windows/mac drivers. It's an epilog fusion laser printer/engraver5
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So I decided to have some funzies over the weekend. Started XCOM 2. Built a team for a mission, spent an hour customising. Then I spent 3 hours going through and not failing miserably even once. The last fucking part of the mission, my favourite sniper dies after getting hammered in the face with a fucking laser beam. Then I lose control of the battlefield and everyone dies. Start again because I'm NOT gonna lose my awesome sniper!
This game is like designing software, planning deployment strategies, and disaster recovery at the same time. Recommended for all devs!6 -
"look! a string of words that a guy on twitter with a laser eyes profile picture posted! it must be the very factual and very true latest system prompt of GPT4!"
god, dumb fucks.
we don't even need a GPT5, AI has already won; humans are retarded4 -
an amazing video about intel euclid by an amazing creator. She also has vids where she hacks a DVD drive into a laser engraver!
https://diode.zone/w/... -
I'm not sure I understand this but you can shrink anything by putting it in a gel and shining a laser at it? And whatever you put in would still work? So I could shrink a TV into nanoscale then, it would have the same mass... So theoretically I could create a black hole?
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/...4 -
Dreams do come true if you visualise and execute laser focus on your aims!
I’m going to be a partner (and mostly CEO) of my own company!7 -
Me and my friend are trying to come up with a solution for locust problem..
I decided to make a locust detector using computer vision and he'll make a laser shooter.
Meanwhile in Pakistan they simply paid people to catch locusts and turned them to chicken food.
CS really messed up our ability to think simply.6 -
Cross post from /r/cscareerquestions
Hey guys how are you all doing!?
I got into university this September (Computer Engineering & Informatics).
Although I've been programming java since I was 14 (github.com/zarkopafilis), discussions with a friend who is a dot net guy and has been working full-time C# for 2 years now got me thinking.
Alright, Java's good. I've learned to love and hate the language. I also like Spring Boot and whole this ecosystem of stuff including Scala and the other Java based languages. Currently I'm in the proccess of completing some personal project of mine.
Alright, here's the big question: Assuming I am going to graduate (and start working) in 5-7-8 years (Masters, PhD - who knows), which language would you suggest I stick with and start learning? - for backend programming of course.
Don't tell me JavaScript. Although I don't like it I've digested the fact that I'll have to learn some of it for sure.
Currently that's what I'm thinking: Invest some more time learning how the JVM works (and probably keep improving my code quality). Also learn some more stuff regarding Spring Boot (and/or Web Services in general). Then advance onto Scala till couple of years pass. In that time I shall keep improving my SQL skills.
On the other hand I may start learning C# along with .NETcore .
Sidenote: Personally I prefer statically typed languages, that's why I dislike stuff like js and python although I occasionally find myself fiddling with small projects like some laser tracker written with python + opencv.
Sorry if this reads like a big disorganized dump of thoughts. Thanks in advance! :)3 -
Gitlab should do what they do on CSI and just use a special laser that can rip the data off the hard drives.1
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Do any of you have suggestions for pin sized tools/objects. Like I already know about laser pens and screwdriver pens but do you guys know of anything else that could fit in a dress shirt pocket?
(And I mean anything. From exacto knife to sonic screw driver)6 -
3rd day back into work after xmas break and I still haven't had laser focus yet, and I have so many projects to do :-/
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Learn enough math to solve the problem Chat GPT (and two university math professors) have been unable to solve :(
The hardware is ready, the software is ready, and the only missing piece is to align a laser pointer with a Lambert's conformal conic projected map... I thought Chat GPT would be able to at least provide me with the necessary formulæ, but not...6 -
What’s your personal tick for getting that mental laser focus and hyper brain performance for that marathon coding and problem solving session ? ( food, music, supplements, coffee, redbull, some biohack )4
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Last night on uyouthe’s weird dreams:
- I gave an interview about my ex and why she died
- my other ex got involved in huge marketing campaign of a new laser surgery by receiving said surgery but they somehow completely evaporate her pelvic and hip bones with laser. I saw her body after that happened
- I somehow live in 2003 Netherlands and work for some scientific lab as a frontend developer. All that ie and ancient JavaScript shit but I like that, processes and culture are flawless
- many other weird shit regarding self-driving vehicles being a mainstream and me owning one, my grandma turning evil and send swat to take me down, also I met a lot of hipsters at defcon and I don’t know why are they there
All that in one dream. Amazing. -
I'm never committing to finishing another PC game ever again... And sticking to arcade, short games only.
Playing Nu no Kuni 2 for the last 3 days... 25hrs and counting... Now at final boss... I think and I can't get infinite HP in Skirmish... So Keep getting entire force wiped out one hit with his laser beam which keeps getting stronger....
It's like a fly vs us. In order to win it's gotta slowly chip away at u, but he can die at an instant any time...
Oh and the 25hrs includes massive cheating and speed hacking to move faster.2 -
Sophomore year starting soon so I'm looking for new project (s) to complete in parallel with the studies.
Some are more design-y and some more backend-y but I recently started getting better at designing so :)
1) Learn some fragment shader stuff. I've always been messing around with graphics and have a game on steam, so I think that's a good idea to be paired with signal processing.
2) Reactive web services. Preferably with spring-boot or vert.x but
3) I would also like to dive into golang (and make some reactive thing with it)
4) WebAssembly seems nice... But I got some concerns
5) exercise making wireframes -> CSS (with some js)
6) I've never really done any real backed work with nodejs, except serving and aot compiling js, or doing gulp tasks
7) Implementing a whole project, or a fraction of it as serverless on aws
* I'm definitely going to use a couple very simple services to make a docker swarm with load balancing, etc, just because I know how everything works but got no practical knowledge
8) Design an esports jersey for the university department I'm in (shouldn't take long)
So what do you guys think? Recommendations are welcome :)
P.S. last year in review:
> A webapp running on a raspberry pi powering a reflex testing game on gpio (java/spring-boot , codename: buttonmasher)
> small Elastic search cluster to monitor some random university servers through kibana dashboards
> laser tracking on wall of *any* colour and variable light conditions via a webcam (opencv) , controlling the mouse pointer, whether you run it against a projector or any wall
> jstrain.herokuapp.com => a small JavaScript powered tool with a DSL to help you train more efficiently without a coach
> Various random Photoshop stuff -
!Dev
Fuck people using trace rifles in momentum control. How the hell am I supposed to kill someone who kills me in two rounds and also fires at 1000 rounds per minute. I was trying to get the catalyst aka upgrade for the seasonal weapon which is pretty bad and the upgrade makes it usable but I am getting ripped apart after my first kill because someone can kill me with 2 bullets wherever he shot me.
Yes momentum control is supposed to be a gunfight mode and it comes around rarely but that does not mean a broken weapon can roam around killing anybody in sight before they even know you fired a shot at them from some lane. Shotguns do the same but you need to get close. Shotguns are still a problem but at least you can dodge or counter with a shotgun since your radar tells you someone is nearby and snipers need a headshot. These weapons can fire at your toe and you are dead. Oh the devs knew that such fast firing weapons wil be op and needed their damage and made them use the same ammo as shotguns, sniper and non heavy grenade launchers. However the game mode gives all weapons a damage buff which is enough for trace rifles to be broken. Yes you can use other primaries but what are you gonna do when a auto rifles kills you with two shots to the toe. And since they burn ammo quickly and take more rounds to kill then their counterparts like shotguns which use he same ammo as them they spawn in with 50 in the mag and anybody who is using shotguns snipers or grenade launchers give them ammo and they only need two rounds to kill. Also after I kill 50 PvP opponents I need to kill a few hundred opponents in PVE or PVP to actually apply the upgrade and who you kill does not matter.
Seriously and the second weapon I want to upgrade which is able has tracking but you need to aim down sights after hipfiring the tracking shots
which dl negligible damage so they explode or aim down sights and shoot which deals more damage but I am probably not going to have enough time before some random kills me again.
And this is just the first game. From what I heard it was supposed to be a fun game mode which focused on gunfights with your primary not the infamous laser tag show of Prometheus lens which happened a few years ago but now all trace rifles can do that. Oh and I still need to get 50 kills there for a seasonal challenge so I can get the free version of the premium currency and I can only skip one challenge and I have already skipped one challenge since it requires a dlc K don't own.
Seriously why cant some actual good game come up to challenge this. All the competition seems to be third person shooters. Also most of the guns don't feel good and lore is pretty lacking but lore is not top priority. The only competition is Warframe which is not my style, Titanfall 2 but I get insane pings from here so no multiplayer so after the story nothing to do unless I want to do airtstrafing which is useless since I can't play multiplayer. Granted Titanfall 2 is not a looter shooter but the guns feel good and the movement is too good and Halo 1 - 3 since I heard 4 and 5 are pretty bad and I have only played halo 1. I might complain about jackal snipers in halo 2 but at least they have fixed spawns.
Maybe I am overreacting since it is my first game of momentum control
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