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Me and colleague went to coffee shop to work...
C -> colleague
M -> Me
...
C: "do you know what I tell myself when I want to gain the courage to talk to a girl I like?":
M: (gave it some thought) "No what?"
C: "If internet explorer has the courage to ask me to become the default browser! Then what am I afraid of?"
M: "No wonder your relationships are buggy! And full of insecurities!"
2 -
Tomorrow Halloween is being celebrated in many nations as you might know. So we do in germany. Given that in Germany tomorrow is a national Holiday, the company skipped work today, with me being on call.
My On-Call time almost was over so I got ready to party (getting into my costume), not expecting any further calls.
I finished dressing up, still had some time, so I dug into coding a bit, as a costumer called. A customer from china. As I got told later on China does not celebrate Halloween in October and they do in another way.
So I set there, accepting the call, with my Camera set to autostart (Company policy).
Camera. On.
In. Costume.
As a monk.
With a bleach white face.
I was greeted by a man starring me "into the eyes". Took a good 1-3 secs til we bursted out in laugher. One of the funniest calls I had so far 😂 (and a short one, thanks China-Man)2 -
700 years ago, some monk scraped down the ink from a book, so he could reuse it to write down his stupid prayers.
Recent analysis uncovered that the book he scraped was “Method” by Archimedes that outlined the basics of calculus 1000 years before Leibniz.
It makes me feel miserable and helpless when I think how more advanced our world would be if it didn’t happen. I realize he probably didn’t go like “hehehehe I’m erasing scientific knowledge because religion is better”, and just did what he thought was better, but I feel bad nonetheless.
16 -
Sitting in a cafe/pub ... Working ... its 12 am ... am here all night ...
Why do people think am the DJ ?5 -
Just a moral story.
It's been a few years I've been using Linux for deployments.
And currently I'm working on a project that has Win on the Server so I'm working on the necessary installations and configurations and I caught myself actually reading everything in the installation and configurations dialogs. And I'm having this urge just to click next and get it overwith.
But thank you Penguin almighty for thee hath introduced patience and knowledge into mine soul. Or else...
... I would've fucked the whole system by a click lol
6 -
When linkedin asks u to congratulate a mate for working as a waiter for 3 years because he cant find a job in their domain ...3
-
Ok this is fucking freaky!!
I was talking to my girl that she mentioned a song on a phone call today and I was listening to YouTube and all of a sudden the same song she mentioned came up which is an old out of my regular genres.
I freaked out and told her that's why I have fucking privacy issues!
And then I suggested making myself a private chatting app...
Her next sentence was:
"Yes you can baby... Basically the world is your app store!" <- her first coders quote (we are contagious)3 -
I fucked up.
In my career, colleagues always looked up to me to solve everything. From day 1.
Hell, I have nicknames; « The Dad », « Machine », « The Beard »... when I meet a new group of devs at the bar they use those nicknames even if I have no clue who they are.
Result? I'm not allowed to fail and even if I do and try to take responsibility, no one ever blame me.
They see me as a fucking zen programming monk, all wise, patient and kind.
Oh boy here we go. I screw things up all the time and can never let go the guilt since I'm not allowed to take responsibility of my mistakes.
Once again I wake up after a night of stress working, trying to overcome analysis paralysis. I'm late. Supposed to have meetings with some fucking PHDs, fueling my imposter syndrome.
Can't even learn anything in those conditions.
Fuck they should call me the fraud.7 -
more of my favorite "about" sections from various users:
Jilano
"nothing."
Humble like a monk.
kindawonderful
"This user likes to keep secrets about himself."
Aw, hes shy!
molaram
"Part time evil corporation hater & armed infidel trying to blow off some steam."
Is that you Elliot?
dmonkey
"Computer Science student and Math lover."
Your love of math is suspect. I have not seen you participate in any of my math shitposting.
And under his skills
"I was ending up becoming a front-end developer, now I'm thinking to become a farmer after uni."
The total state of frontend in 2021. "Fuck it, I'd rather shovel horse shit than learn another
framework!"
Have you tried Horseshit.JS for that?
What about shove.js?2 -
I just want to make it clear to all of us here...
Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!2 -
Long story short,
Fuck programmers who call them selves entrepreneurs (pronounced in French), I'm going to entre-preneur my dick in your fucking worthless calculator you piece of camel cum!!!4 -
Working with XMLs after being acquainted with JSON is like drinking old monk after having had the taste of Chivas Regal!4
-
I am seeing more and more of these political statements and politically correct bullshit on coders forums up to the point where i got to the conclusion the *phobic people are being harassed for sharing an opinion of their own and attacked most of the time.
Are the *philic people actually themselves *phobic, and thus attacking anything that might conform their uncertainties? Is that the case?
Because unless you act upon your opinions you are not guilty of anything. If another is offended by your opinion isnt that an oppression of the sort?
I fear this will one day become a standard in forums that *phobic people should be more attentive to their opinions and shit i mean we are coders if we see beautiful code who the fuck cares what the coder is or represents if ur code is good i fucking love you and thank you. Now on the other hand my opinion of what you represent or what you are offends you? Well fuck sounds like a personal issue!
Fucking twats!
13 -
Smashing on the keyboard
with 3 screens infront of my face
i spot a nasty bug,
In one of the features someone else made,
I called their office for aid,
But found no one is there to be
Of any aid to my sorry ass,
Now i have to debug the whole thing,
Oh,
Documenting code
Documenting code
Why didnt you document the damn thing
At least tell me you left some comments
To help debug thy algo tree
Oh ...
:'(
1 -
I am officially no longer writing one line of HTML.
Or any line that has to do with anything fucking front-end.9 -
Well after having a major sense of humour failure last week https://devrant.com/rants/1365062/...
My company has an internal application that is used for billing clients and customers. There are several versions.
Starting next week the consultant who wrote this and I will be sitting down together for about 2 hours or so twice a week to start going through the code stuff etc.
I already have a job to start testing a new version this program, and this version is going to be handed over to me and will be my baby.
Things are starting to look up, I’m still trying to get them to swap my PC for a laptop though, so I can do work from home etc. -
NOT AGAIN ...
NOT AGAIN ...
NOT FUCKING AGAIN ...
I AM NOT THE FUCKING DJ ...
THATS IT IM MAKING TSHIRTS
_______ _______
/ v \
/ / | | \ \
| ME |
| NO |
| DJ |
|____________|2 -
Ever since I downloaded Intellij, which was 10 years ago, I have tried to move into more hype oriented editors ... Atom, sublime, vs-code... But nothing beat intellijs sense of fullfilment! Its like you are in a sand box that offers everything you need to do anything you want! Need plugins ? Right there! Terminals? Right there! Git ? Right there!! Distraction free mode/zen mode? There! Spice up your editor with a background image? There!!!
I think for those who take the hype of editors need to check their goals/aims. I have learned that whenever i tried to change the environment i work in, the reason was always unsatisfactory projects, or boring projects!
Your coding environment (no matter what it is) is your sanctum sanctorum. Change one bit of it and your whole world is disrupted.
And thats a piece of advice for those who use Vim to notepad to intellij to whatever is more advanced then intellij!
Also includes a picture of my setup!
1 -
A former co-worker once had to implement a new subsystem into our ERP system, which runs on .NET.
He then decided to draw the entire UI using the Graphics class.
When i later asked him why he had done it like that, his only answer was: "I wanted to learn how to use graphics"2 -
One @burgirghoval asked on a different rant how can one be the best programmer in the world.
My answer is simple. It's by creating a community like @devrant.
Thank you guys for this amazing platform. -
you know, i've got 5K+ in cash savings before i would even need to dip into "long term" retirement funds
and other than the food and the drink, i don't spend anything (can scrape by on 1-2K per month)
so fuck it, i'm going to enjoy the amazing weather that is everywhere in europe right now
if companies are going to be assholes, i am too
because in the long run i know my skills and vast competances are valuable
companies can hire the cheap clueless scrub in the shortrun
but i know i'll win in the long run when they realize who they are trying to hire does not exist
what's even one year of being unemployed against a lifetime of opportunity and projects? nothing.13 -
Seriously I'm using Intellij IDEA Ultimate, should I migrate to VS Code ? or should I just stay where I am ?9
-
Father bought a computer for the family in 2011. A HCl Dual Core Pentium 4 machine with 21" TFT screen. I was allowed to use it only under someone's presence for at-most 20 minutes each day for the next 6-9 months.
After that we got a network card (plug-and-play internet dongle) for the internet services. That's when I entered the world of internet and made a Facebook account. I was 12 then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
After two years or so, we're playing games on it, watching movies and using MS Word for school related stuff. Then my brother entered college, and used it for stuff like coding and image processing on Matlab, while I watched him doing so and getting yelled at for doing what I liked to do, at the same time.
After 5 years or so, I got a personal laptop with decent configuration for college work. The old computer still worked like charm.
Now, the old monk is at rest with old memories, unknown files and lot of bollywood songs.1 -
The creator of this library logs error which makes me feel like a Shaolin Monk reading a scroll...
I shall now head towards that direction. Thank you master Shiva 🙏
1 -
Ahhh i don't even want to remember... Dynamic text interpreter that will translate a PDF+excel to a dynamic data structure that will accommodate any changes... Where is my gun again?!
-
<"Perfect is enemy of good"
>"Excellent! I keep my enemies very close"
I do believe it possible that one can find at least one perfect counter to every stupid folk saying that startup-for-brains suit bags love to parrot.
2)
<"We must fail fast"
>"I already did it!"
3)
<"We must have a long tail of offerings"
>"Can we offer focus on our core strengths?"
-3)
<"We must focus on our core strengths"
>"Isn't our core strength 'having a long tail of offerings'?"
4)
<"We must use agile methods"
>"An agile habit does not make an agile monk."
5)
<"We must be flexible and adapt"
>"Is it a law or more of a rule of thumb?"
6)
<"We must avoid bureaucracy"
>"Can I have that in writing?"3 -
So i was commenting on a rant by some user where we had this conversation about IDEs and editors...
Point: Intellij has an option to set a background to the whole ide which gives coding a unique experience instead of the pale dull solid color background.
Go to Settings > Appearance > Background image is in the main appearance tab click and set the image, position, transparency ... And voila u have a background image on your editor.
Alternative way just go to settings and search for background image12 -
So checking out this book for a few chapters i want to get over with and my friends sitting right next to me and she sees the cover has a cow on it and it said servers and she was like are you learning how to serve steak?
-
Just to move away from this horrific subject of CoC and and phobic and non phobic people... I thought i had no issue earlier with this matter but to be honest after this i see here and everywhere else i must admit now i am phobic, because i feel they are imposing their restrictions on my lifestyle which has never offended any defferent person. To me it was all about the character and respect but now i feel its different.
Moving on ...
Opinions on this anyone
https://slate.com/human-interest/... -
Hello all,
Just asking for some advice.
Vultr vs Linode vs DigitalOcean
for a website that contains streaming and high traffic which is best for dev start and then maybe deployment?15 -
The lost his I've worked in a row were 74 hours straight had a deadline and a project to finish back in uni. So I only got off of my laptop for lunch and dinner and natures call. I slept for 12 hours the next day...
Got an A on the project and got through the deadline....
Good old days -
Ok, Just Imagine this. You are assigned to add a simple function in an application, using which the company can download user data which was provided by user in that app initially.
Now first twist come, when you realize the Auth system of user is not working. You fix it, and again realize email verification process is not working, which is preventing user to get registered on a first place. You again fix it, and again new problem occurs that user cannot enter detail because he/she is restricted. What the hell, is this some kind of bhul bhulaiyaa or what.
And this shit modern web frameworks, they are meant to make life easier, but half of the time i have to fight against them.
And last honourable mention to continuous disturbance of internet connection. Whenever i am installing any dependencies or want to have quick google search, it goes away. All thanks to work from home state.
I really think now to be a monk and go to do meditation in himalayas. What a life goss ! -
He basically abhorred me because i still have no idea why he abhorred me but honestly I'm glad he did. We never had to work together, but i once tried sparking a conversation thinking let's see maybe he is not all he shows... The conversation ended in 3 seconds... And he was acting all childish ... Oh well... Cheers everybody!
-
Ok I'm totally lost...
here is my list
Alienware m15/17
Lenovo Legion Y740
Lenovo Legion Y540
Or just get a desktop ?
Usages: Gaming (not that hardcore)
Virtual Machines
Deep Learning27 -
https://sysadmincasts.com/episodes/...
Z shell lowered my stress levels working on shell try it out guys.2 -
Hello all (App devs) I have finalized all APIs and here is the postman collection for you. I have been working on the chat page so excuse me for my delay but I finished all the system all that is remaining is the chat. I will be working on it tonight.
Please let me know if there is anything wrong.
Dev 1: thank you will see then asap.
Dev 2: why do u want to make me lost we said u deliver the chat first and then we move forward with the app.
Me: well I had some difficulties with the chat so I finalized all else and u can fix those while I fix the chat
Dev 2: no this is not what we agreed on. This is propostrous. I will not do anything anymore. I need the chat to finale x y and z.
Me: dude the chat has nothing to do with x y and z u can finalize those and then fix the chat!
Dev 2: no I don't understand this is not right.
Me: dude I built the backend I know what u need for x y z. Anyway why all the blame and the destructive approach?
Dev 2 don't think we r kids we r not kids .. (bullshit talk)...
This is the scenario that happens Everytime a pussy of a Dev is late and is ignorant of their job and all about blame it on the weakest point.
Therefore guess what's drafted ?!
MY RESIGNATION PAPER!1 -
Hello all,
For the team leaders and head of departments out there.
What do you use to plan and organize the managerial side of things ?12 -
Hey all.
I have a non-technical question.
I'm a university drop out for financial reasons where i live and i have been working in the field for 8 years as a backend dev and some dev-ops on the side.
My question is what are my chances of finding a good job in europe (italy germany uk france ... Etc) without a degree?
And what is the range of my annual salary on average?
And thank you for your help.5 -
My own server infra without configmgmt. Thanks to puppet i have been able to finally give my brain some more compute resources for other things in life, because managing them all by hand is almost the equivalent of a medieval monk copying the bible over and over again.
Now i can manage in the tens of thousands at relative ease. -
Ok, here is something boggling my mind - just as much as naming variables boggles my mind.
Can you guys share your notification settings?4 -
Hey all,
I have a soap service delivering products from an ERP. I'm retrieving these products in a loop getting 20/req. The ERP has 5k+ products. Any advice regarding the best way to retrieve them all and quick would be most appreciated. -
#because_windows
In V 1.7 Ansible added support for managing Windows servers ... A proper treatment of using Ansible with Windows hosts probably deserved is own book.
....
*Throws Windows server away* -
Hello all,
I might be moving to England soon and I'm a drop-out. I have been coding for 5+ years and have quite an amount of experience in my hands. What courses should I consider that can boost my ability to find a job in England? Devops? Backend? Frontend? App Dev? Game Dev? I am interested and have a minor experience in DevOps, main bulk of my experience is in backend, a bit of frontend(not my field but its still coding) the other two i've had no experience in other then debugging and fixing code in several projects i've worked on.
Your help is much appreciated. Thank you.11 -
Hey all,
Small question, huge impact.
How the hell do I make Firebase FCM SDK work on Safari Web and ios safari ? -
https://youtu.be/zQJqu675Ino
Best morning song translation:
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/...
Give me the flute and sing
for singing is the secret of existence
And the sound of the flute remains
After the end of existence.
Have you, as i did, taken the jungle
A house without limitations
Have you followed the Runnels
And climbed the rocks
have you bathed in its fragrance
and dried yourself in its light
Have you tried drinking the Dawn as your wine
out of divine cups
Have you, as i did, sat in the afternoon
Between the grapes plants
with the clusters hanging
like golden chandlers...
Have you, as i did, slept on the grass at night
And used the sky as you blanket
Ascetic in what will come
Forgetting what has passed
Give me the flute and sing
Forget the disease and medication
For people are only lines
written with water -
Hey all,
This is no rant, its just a sincere question.
any of you got a good upbeat playlist on youtube you can share for us to listen to while coding...
?? for now i listen to Frog Leap Studios ... Guys amazing9 -
"Robot, let us pray! Can and should robots have religious functions? An ethical exploration of religious robots" by Anna Puzio.
"With approximately 20 religious robots worldwide, religious robotics is still in its early stages (Balle 2022). However, there are already some notable examples of religious robots, and with advancing technology, it is expected that their numbers will increase. Here is a brief overview: BlessU-2, a German robot, delivers blessings in various languages (Löffler et al. 2021, p. 575). SanTO (the Sanctified Theomorphic Operator) (Trovato et al. 2019) takes on the appearance of a Christian Catholic saint and recites sacred texts while accompanying the faithful in prayer. It also serves as a companion with psychological functions, contributing to the well-being of individuals, particularly the elderly (Löffler et al. 2021, p. 573; Trovato et al. 2021, p. 545). Celeste, resembling a Catholic angel, provides spiritual guidance through prayer and prints personalized Bible verses. Meanwhile, Mindar, a robot priest in Japan, embodies the Buddhist teacher, Kannon Bodhisattva, and conducts Zen ceremonies at the temple (Smith 2022, p. ch. 5; Klein 2019). The monk robot, Xi’aner, follows visitors around the temple, responds to their inquiries about Buddhism and plays Buddhist music. It is also available as a chatbot with which you can communicate over online messenger services. Xi’aner is designed with the purpose of promoting Buddhism in China (Trovato et al. 2021, p. 544; Löffler et al. 2021, p. 573). Consequently, it is perceived not as a threat to religious teachings but rather as a means of contributing to the dissemination of Buddhism (Löffler et al. 2021, p. 573). Moreover, in Japan, the humanoid robot Pepper is utilized in Buddhist funerals because it is cheaper than a human priest. It also broadcasts the ceremony over the internet for those who are unable to attend (ibid.). Michael Arnold et al. (2021) delve into the deployment of Carl, Pepper, and the robot dog, Aibo, in funeral settings."
https://link.springer.com/article/...3 -
Hi all,
I am managing some servers that contain magento projects and I see the cache of the projects being ridiculously large! is this normal ? and how can I resolve it if not. specifically the folder /project/var/cache/page_cache -
Hey all, I'm in the UK, just got here honestly can anyone help me out to figure out what I should do in terms of freelance work should I be going towards registering as a SOLO Trader or Limited Company ....
Help ?2
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