Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
7 years of "learning" "IT" at school...
What have I learned: Excel, Word, PowerPoint....
School started. I got the new book and we are doing more than MS Office!
We are making a website
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
With Wix!!!!!!???!?!!?!!
Fuck me!15 -
I am a tester by profession, But I love coding. Sadly my organisation doesn't allow people of my profile to install IDE/ Programming softwares... So I had to work with what I had... VBA, MS Office...
I started to work on few small Ideas, then I and a friend worked on a macro which automates a 5 year old manual process... It became a Hit ! It changed the whole process... My manager started to highlight it everywhere... Other manager started to come to us for helps....
So I learnt MS Excel Vba, then MS Access vba... started to become an expert...
Now the whole onshore and offshore management knows us by name....
This excitement made me explore other programming language band fell in love with Python and JavaScript...
Now I made a virtual bot for my manager....
That small project paved the whole way of my programming passion...4 -
Overheard some guy talking about robotics on the phone, turns out it was all about MS excel macros.
people need to stop abusing terms like big data, AI etc. to make them sound 'smart' 🙄4 -
Employer: "Welcome to your internship. We need you to code VBA"
Me: "Ok."
Me internally: "Oh. Visual Studio. Ok."
Me internally after 1h of coding VBA in Excel Plugin: "Burn in hell MS"2 -
hugging Microsoft with their clucking buggy software!
>> generate an xls with Apache POI
>> colour some particular cells in green, others - in red.
>> export as xls
>> open with LibreOffice Calc -- looks pretty
>> upload to Slack, open slack's generated xls preview -- looks pretty
>> open with GDocs -- looks pretty
>> open with sheet.zoho.com -- looks pretty
>> open with onlinedocumentviewer.com -- looks pretty
>> open with aspose.app -- looks pretty
>> open the xls with MS Office Excel -- more than half of the cells are unformatted, uncoloured
🔥🗑🔥5 -
Today I was working in a university studyspace. Some girl noticed my dark theme IDE, running some tests and such and assumed that I'm a computer guru. She then asked me if I could help her with MS Excel or MS Word. To which I answered "sorry, no". She might've just been trying to start something with me, but that was a deal breaker hahaha (seriously tho, if I were in a better mood I would have helped her)9
-
Hey everyone, cozyplanes here with another quick excel prank i thought of.
It is called TEEST, and the technique behind is simple, but interesting. Recommend taking a look, and pranking with your friends.
The following is the README of TEEST (Text in Excel Every Single Time) in Github.
You can check the simple project here ( https://github.com/cozyplanes/teest )
Disclaimer: Do not use or modify neither the program or the source code to make software violating the law.
### How do I use it?
1. Head to https://github.com/cozyplanes/teest and download the latest release `EXE` file.
1. Windows may warn you with the missing signature. The file is a DEBUG file, so there isn't a publisher signature. You can proceed downloading anyway since it has been virus checked by the developer.
2. Type the message you want to display in the textbox.
3. Click `Save text` button.
5. To check the file, click `Cancel` button in the opened popup dialog.
### What happens?
When an MS Excel file (`.xlsx`) has been opened, by using TEEST, two files gets opened.
1. The original file user opened
2. Excel file named `message.txt` with the custom message you have written.
`message.txt` excel file will open every single time a person opens a excel file.
*In some older versions of Excel, the message may overlap with the user opened file.*
### Why does this happen?
When MS Excel program is executed, it is programmed to check the files in the following 2 folders.
- `C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Office[versionnumber]\XLSTART`
- `C:\Users\%username%\AppData\Roaming\Microsoft\Excel\XLSTART`
In normal conditions, there is no file in those folders (or the folders doesn't exist at all) but when you use TEEST and click `Save text` button, it saves `message.txt` file in the folders above. From MS Excel is executed again, it will find out there is a file in the folders above, so it will show those text files in Excel.
### Where is this technique used?
There should be a lot of software using this trick, but it is widely known for ransomwares such as `GandCrab` and `TeslaCrypt` displaying decryption methods in MS Excel by this trick.
### How can I disable it?
1. Open TEEST again.
2. Click `Save text` button and click `Cancel` in the following popup.
3. Delete `message.txt` file in the opened explorer.
### LICENSE
This software is under the MIT License. Refer to the `LICENSE` file for more information.
### Contact
<cozyplanes@tuta.io>
Spam/Ads not allowed. Please only send questions or concerns about the software. It may take up to 48 hours to get a reply.13 -
For fucks sake! It's 2018 and MS™ Excel™ is still not able to store a file in UTF-8...
And neither can you choose the separators when opening a CSV.
Go eat a bag of corporate dicks and greedily choke on it to an agonizing death.5 -
When you are reading job requirements for a dev job and they put a shit ton emphasis on MS Office. I remember a phone interview where they asked skill level for Word, Excel and Outlook.7
-
Well done Microsoft
You’ve transformed a product MS Excel from something great into something unusable ..endlessly over designing it with needless fucking icons everywhere…
Just leave it THE FUCK ALONE from 20078 -
Job offer listing: "IT Specialist"
"Personality prerequisites and skills"
- "Programming in MS Excel"
How do you even put programming and excel in one sentence??!!
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???
4 -
There is a commercially sold ERP solution that has it's DB schema in excel and Other documentations in MS Word. And its not even properly structured, no schema diagrams, last updated for a 4 year old major release 😒😫.
I have to develop a custom module for it and that requires building an ActivexDLL Project in VB fucking 6 😭😭 .
VB6
Unstructured Documentation
Legacy code
Incomplete documentation
FML
Tell me if you want ss in comments.5 -
They’re making us use netbeans for class. Like I have a whole lab on learning how to use it. I’m not going to class, I finished the lab in 2 minutes. This one particular class is so dumb, we’ve had labs on ms word, PowerPoint, excel... they could have just done an optional workshop for people who don’t know how to use them. Waste of 2 hours every Thursday. And the teachers a dickhead7
-
I don't want to use Visual Basic!
I'm a 17 year old boy and I have a couple of years of experience with coding. At school we had to choose between a couple of things to do 2 hours every week. One of them was about computers and programming. Sounds fun, right?
The teacher is letting us code in Visual Basic in MS Excel. I tried to explain him that I know how to code, but he still wants me to listen to him.
He doesn't even use any indentation! I can't look at it and I don't want to use VB it sucks just let me use js or anything else but not VB! Why won't you just accept I'm 10 times better than you! Just let me do my thing!
Now he thinks he can challenge me with a password strength checker. I want to use js, some regex to make it very short and efficient and a nicely styled web page. But now I'll be forced to use a horrible programming language (VB) I never used before!24 -
How MS Office came about:
In the office suite I think the top guys stayed for Excel. These guys, are so good. They build Access. But it was always after 6pm on saturdays.
The "I know stuff, and I'll figure things along the way" guys stayed with Word. And in their part time, developed Powerpoit.
Excel guys were so great, they also developed the WordArt and later the SmartArt for Word and Powerpoint!
Thats why we still have that awefull blue and red-wine colours as default...2 -
IT teach giving a speech that our MS excel exams are shit and we have no logic and that we suck at math. I mean, yeah it's true that I suck at math and I've never used excel before coz I never had to but ffs I code during nights and I love it, also there are so many fields, saying that you'll be just a part-time waiter... If you have the attitude to solve a problem that you care enough about you'll get there eventually. Sucking at something doesn't mean you suck at everything, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.5
-
Excel literally has internal support for treating other excel workbooks as SQL databases, encouraging end-users to do that instead of using MS Access properly, and *it doesn't even work*.6
-
Dude at work floats the idea of creating separate Github accounts for personal and work for security. My response:
While we're discussing options, we should also consider maintaining a list of users as a CSV^H^H^H MS Excel file, and install an authentication server that runs off the laptop of an "IT Administrator". That way it'll be super secure because hackers cannot access any system outside of working hours, as well as the days that said admin is off from work.
2 -
When I first started down the path to becoming a developer, I was a "business analyst" where I managed our departments reports and ended up migrating all the reports from daily query run in MS Access with Task manager and emailed out to all the managers including the VP of the entire business unit, I created
Views in the database and sent out the same spreadsheet with the view in excel daily since management didn't want "change". Granted this was at a large health care company in the US and didn't want to invest in a real dashboard for their reports. The only thing that was changed in the email and file was the file name with the current date. I left the company a while ago and recently applied for a similar position for the shits and gigs. Interviewed with the It manager and they're still using the same excel macro I wrote 3 years later.2 -
"Microsoft Excel interprets a blank cell as zero, and not as empty or blank."
blank != blank
official: https://support.microsoft.com/en-us...
Thanks MS
2 -
Sometimes it feels like ms office is just made to piss off common people when the usage gets near the boundaries. Why does recalculating an excel file with 20 tabs take 20 minutes.. !? And why i cant i do anything with excel at all with any sheet for that 20 minutes. And why cant i cancel the recalculation for a fkin minute..? If i press escape the calculation stops, and immediately resumes 3 seconds later.. And for the love of god.. I would never understand why there is no global setting to turn off auto recalculation and when i find something similar it resets on restart.. WTF...5
-
I'm studying computer security and learning Linux on my free time, yet at my work I spend most my time in MS Excel and PowerPoint... what even is my life1
-
-Be Friday morning
-Be me sleeping, I have my vacation.
-Got SMS from secretary that her office (MS office 2013 pro) not working Word, Excel, Outlook.
-Ignored, still sleeping
-After hour received call from her. Answered say I will be after half a hour.
Got shower, breakfast and went there.
-an old error appeared again. Can't open any of programs, same error, can't remember error codes. But it's update or something breaks it, tried reinstalling, but it will shows up again. Quicker fix is repair.
-turned off updates cuz I don't want to deal with this everyday.
Anyway. Fuck Microsoft monkeys for not testing their shit before releasing1 -
After my first ever "thing" I wrote (see story here: https://devrant.com/rants/2132057/...) fast forward 7 years to my first project when I /* thought I */ knew what I was doing and didn't write just for myself.
Preset:
I worked in a very small company distributing various materials for medical research, many of them bought from manufacturers and then relabelled as if we had produced it. One part of that was to indicate a production batch / lot number. Before I started there, they would just invent a random number on the spot and use that on the new label and somewhere write it down to document that, I at least used an Excel sheet to have numbers prepared and document it on the same line (still crappy but more than nothing). After some time my boss got the idea to have all of that documented in MS Access (because that was the only database he knew). I had just started with HTML, PHP and MySQL in apprentice school around the same time, so I proposed writing an appropriate solution using those and got permission.
-----
I started coding and learnt so much that I didn't need to pay attention at school anymore as I was years ahead of the curriculum (the others were struggling with If-statements and the likes).
When I was done with Version 1.0 of my web application, it was of course still crude as hell. I used html forms to save input (like editor.php -> submit to save.php, do save -> redirect to editor.php), but it did what had not been done before: keeping it all together and force people to do it properly. 2 years later I wrote a version 2, adding features that showed to be useful and with improved structure, as my last project before leaving, and as far as I know, they are still using it, which is at this point 2 years after I've left.
Looking back I would do it differently, but for what I knew back then it was not bad at all.2 -
I spent two hours trying to figure out why VBA was giving me the correct values when I used debug.print, but not when I got the returned from the function.
I MISSPENT THE GOOD DAMN FUNCTION IN THE RETURN AND VBA DOESN'T SHOW OR AS A BUG OR GOOD DAMN ANYTHING....
I hate this thing so much.
On the bright side the office thinks I'm some sort of magical tech-deity.5 -
I finally got the clarity on my relationship.
Atleast I think I did.
I am officially done with Microsoft. I mean the only useful and sensible products left are Outlook and Excel.
Funnily both the products have hit their maturity stage and now MS is trying to bloat them. But still to a reasonable extent.
What other MS products are worth touching? Wait.. I legit can't think of any now.
Next on tagret, Google and Apple. Lol
Perhaps only Apple product I ever want to interact with will be (future tense) Apple Music (well because lossless and the fact that that the product is the reason for existence of the company).
NGL Steve had the right vision on Music. They tagged things right in their iTunes catalogue. But then MTV happened.
And now Spotify is the new MTV. Fuck me in ass someone.
So only Google? Well I have already sold my soul to them. What's more remaining?8 -
So in my last rant I mentioned an ERP. This is its story:
When I started, all paperwork (including invoices, delivery slips, orders to suppliers etc.) was done on Word and some Excel, no specialised software whatsoever.
At some point (I already worked there for 2 years then), it became too much even for our boss, so he decided to spend some cash on the real deal.
After some looking around, he found software that seemed right (same vendor as our external bookkeeper used, so it would work with him too, nice). In order to save some money, he purchased it in Germany, as they offered a smaller product costing way less (we were based in Switzerland).
Once installed, we realised that this product was only meant to be used within the EU, as it only supported € as a currency and German VAT rates. We needed Swiss Francs and local VAT to work as well.
His solution looked as follows: I had the task to edit all forms via built-in MS Report Builder (god does it suck) to display the string CHF instead of €, and alter the on-sheet excel-like functions to use our VAT rates. Internally, the application of course still thought it was using € etc. For that reason, all output was unusable for bookkeeping, so we (as before) would just hand it in on paper.
If he had purchased the version sold here, all of the above would not have been the case, meaning support for multiple currencies and VATs, as well as direct transfer to the bookkeeper. He hardly saved 15k, in exchange for a non-working solution.2 -
!rant
I am currently making a MS Access DB for my soon to be former workplace (compulsory social service) with a GUI.
It's a project administration DB with Schools, Projects, Plans, etc. I am making it because they used Access like a Excel spreadsheet.
How much would you demand per hour?7 -
Hey peeps just asking for some suggestions. We are currently having difficult times financially. My dad used to have food business but its now completely shut down and he is doing some sales job. My mom is somewhat educated (she completed till class 12th i guess) and knows very little abouts computers and stuff but she is interested in getting some job that's remote and computer based.
What things should i give her to learn that she could land a job in computer field?
Like am not talking about programming or development but other non tech fields people get paid for... Like data entry , emails writings etc. Currently i have given her courses to learn ms excel, ms word and basic English.
(Personally am also looking for a job but i know how you guys hate job postings . Checkout my website if you have something for me)3
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View